More With You (17 page)

No, I know I can’t do that, but I want to.  I continue pacing and running my fingers through my hair.  I need to learn to deal.  This was my choice to not pursue a relationship with her.  My fucking choice that is driving me in-fucking-sane!

“Ace?” I jump at the sound of Allison’s voice.  She is standing in the doorway of my room.

“Knock much?” I spit.  I immediately feel like shit for snapping at her.  “Sorry, Ash.  What’s up?” I try to act calm when I’m anything but. 

She smiles at me knowingly. “We ordered pizza. Liam and I are too tired to cook, and I assumed that you would be too,” she tells me.

“Thanks, that sounds fine,” I say.  Not really thinking about food.  I sit down on the edge of my bed and rest my elbows on my knees.  Focusing on breathing in and out, in and out.

I feel the bed dip beside me as Allison rubs her small hands up and down my back trying to sooth me. She knows. “You know, Ace, she’s going to be fine.  Hailey is a smart girl.  She did the right thing by calling and texting me the address.”

My heads pops up at her words. “You have the address. You know where she is?” I ask, standing up.

Allison is shaking her head no. “You are not going after her, Aiden Emerson.  You made your choice, now you have to deal with it,” she says sternly.  

“But…What if…” She holds her hand up stopping me.

“She’s fine.  What are you gonna do? Drive three hours to drag her from a party to leave her there alone again. She has to live her life, Ace,” she tries to reason.

“Fuck!” I sit back down on the bed and place my hands behind my neck. “If anything ever happens to her...” I can’t say anymore. I can feel the emotion building in my throat.

Allison leans in for a hug. “Everything is going to be fine, just relax. She promised to text me when she gets home.” With that, she walks out of my room.

I lie back on the bed and stare at the ceiling.  Allie’s right.  Hales has to live her life, but it tears me up inside to think about it.  To think about her being alone and all those guys falling all over her.  Even if we were together, she would be there in school and I would be here.  Without her.  I’m flipping the fuck out now. I can’t imagine how it would feel if she really was mine. 

I must have been lying there for a while because Allison knocks on the door yelling that the pizza is getting cold.

I make my way to the living room and see Liam and Allison are curled up watching a movie.  The pizza boxes are on the coffee table.  I sit down and begin to eat.  Allison smiles.  “There’s a bottle of water for you on the table too,” she says. 

“Thanks.” I resume eating without conversation. I just finish my last piece when I hear Allison’s phone ping notifying her of a new message. My heart begins to race. Is she home, is she okay?

My eyes bore into Allison as she reads the message. “She’s fine. She just got home, says she going to take a shower then go to bed,” Allison tells us.

I feel myself relax a little, but I need more.  I need her to tell me she’s fine.  I clean up the mess of the pizza boxes and tell the lovebirds goodnight, before heading to my room.  I make a beeline for my phone and send her off a quick text.

Me:
 
You’re home safe?

I hold my phone to my chest, willing it to notify me that she has replied to my message.  I wait three minutes and no reply.  That’s not like her.  What if someone has her and they sent the message to throw us off.  I send another message.

Me:
Angel?

I wait another three minutes and still nothing.  My heart is pounding in my chest.  I pick up my phone and tap her name in my favorites list.  It rings four long agonizing rings, before I hear her sweet voice.

“Hello?” She says breathlessly.

“Hey, angel,” I whisper. She answered. That’s a good sign.

“Hey,” she says softly.

“You’re home safe?” I ask, getting right to the point.

“Yes, I was in the shower,” she tells me.

We both sit in silence listening to the other breathe. I turn off my light and crawl into bed. Hales will be the last thing I hear before I fall asleep.

“I was worried about you,” I finally say.

“I’m fine,” she whispers. “Macie, she’s a girl in my assisting class who is also in the RN program, she and her twin brother had a party.  There were only about thirty or so people.”

“Did you have a good time?” I ask her. I just want to keep her talking.

“Yeah, it was fun.  We danced and just hung out really.”

“Danced? Were you drinking?” I ask.

She laughs softly. “No, Aiden, I wasn’t drinking.  I’m smarter than that.”

I release a ragged breath.  “I know you are, angel. I just worry about you. So how many guys did you dance with?” I ask, trying hard for my voice to show no emotion at the question.

“Just Miles, he’s Macie’s twin.  His best friend Kaden tried to get me to dance as well, but he was drinking pretty heavy and I just met them all, so yeah. I just didn’t want to get myself in an uncomfortable situation.”

“I’m proud of you, angel,” I tell her.

“Thanks,” she says in her soft sweet voice.

Again, silence but it’s not uncomfortable. It’s like neither one of us want to hang up. We stay quiet for several minutes before Hales says three little words that penetrate my heart.

“I miss you,” she whispers across the line.

The ache in my chest is there, beating like a drum.  How am I ever going to survive this? 

“I miss you, too, angel,” I say. What I really want to say is, I want you here with me now.  I’m on my way to get you. You can transfer schools or just quit, I don’t give a fuck as long as you are with me every day! 

Hailey yawns and I realize I’m keeping her up and she has class tomorrow. “I’ll let you get some sleep. I just needed to hear you tell me that you were home safe and sound,” I say.

“I’m here, tucked into bed, in my new room.”

I chuckle. “That’s right. I was picturing you on the futon, but I guess you have upgraded with the place all to yourself.  You know you have your own room here now too,” I tell her. “So are you living it up having Liam’s room all to yourself?” I ask.

“Uh, well, I um…I’m not in Liam’s room,” she says softly.

She’s not? “You’re not?” I asked, stunned.  “That’s the bigger of the two rooms.”

“I just wanted to feel close to you,” she mumbles sleepily. 

Holy Shit!
  “I miss you so much, angel. Sweet dreams,” I tell her. This girl has me by the fucking balls and she doesn’t even know it. I can’t believe she’s sleeping in my room just to feel close to me. I remember her sweet words at the beach house when she told me she loved me. Does she want me the way I want her?

There’s silence on the other end of the line, no reply from her, but I can hear her gentle breaths through the line.  She’s fallen asleep.  I smile and burrow under the covers and let Hailey’s soft breathing lull me to sleep.

I wake the next morning to my hand vibrating. I open my eyes and see that I have my cell phone clutched tightly in my hand. It all comes back to me. Hailey.  My hand vibrates again.  Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes I swipe the screen and see that I have a new text from her.

Hailey:
 
Sorry I fell asleep on you last night. In class all day, will call later. XOXO H.

I ended and began my day with Hailey.  The only thing sweeter would be if she was here in my warm bed, in my arms.

After a quick stop at the bathroom, I head to the kitchen for some food. I find Liam and Allison already awake and sitting at the table eating pancakes.

“Morning,” I say, my voice still rough with sleep.

“Good morning. I made pancakes,” Allison says, pointing to a plate piled high.

“Thanks,” I say as I sit down at the table.

“So, we could do June,” Allison says to Liam.

“No, beautiful, I told you I can’t wait that long,” Liam says, shaking his head. “Here, let me see the calendar.”

Allison hands him her phone and he scrolls through the dates. He begins tapping on the screen before he hands it back to her with a smile.

Allison looks down at her phone and then back up at Liam. “That’s the Saturday after the Super Bowl.”

“Yes, it is.  That is as long as I’m willing to wait.  The only reason I agree to that is because I want to be able to take you away on a honeymoon.”

Allison looks back down at her phone. When she lifts her head, she is grinning from ear to ear.  “So we’re getting married on February 8
^th
?” she asks as if she can’t believe it’s really happening. 

I can’t help but grin right along with her. She deserves happiness, they both do.

“We’re getting married,” Allison screeches as she jumps out of her chair and launches herself at Liam.

He throws his head back laughing as he catches her. He gently places his hands on her cheeks. “I love you, beautiful girl,” he says before he kisses her. 

I smile before I say, “Uh, guys, I’m trying to eat here.”  They break away laughing.

“I have to call Hales,” Allison says, reaching for her phone.

“She’s in class all day,” I tell her.

She and Liam both turn to look at me. “How do you know?” Allison asks.

I shrug my shoulders, like it’s no big deal.  When really it’s a big fucking deal.  “I called her last night to make sure she was okay. She mentioned being in class all day today. Well, the next two weeks eight to five, she will be in class and then clinicals.” How do they not know this? Hailey mentioned it before we left also.

“All right, well, I guess I’ll be calling her at five,” Allison says.

“Let’s go call my parents and tell them,” Liam says.

I finish my huge stack of pancakes and then clean the kitchen.  I decide to go out and pick up a few things.  Training camp starts next week, and even if I’m able to find the time, my ass is gonna be dragging.

The first two weeks of class have flown by. I’m really enjoying it, which has me even more excited to start the nursing program in a few weeks.  Life is crazy as well.  Liam and Allison set a wedding date, so Allie and I have been spending our evenings on the phone and FaceTime starting to make plans.   She is setting up appointments for when I come and visit at the end of the month.  Just two more weeks.

I have also been spending a lot of time with Macie, Miles, and Kaden. We have hung out at their place a few more times as well as going out to dinner, a dance club, and a frat party.  The guys are great and remind me a lot of Liam and Aiden.  Kaden is head over heels for Macie and she him, but they’re fighting it.  Well, not completely. When they are both drinking, they usually end up hooking up, but neither one of them are ready to make it official.  Miles treats me just like Macie. He has even gone as far as trying to hook me up with a friend of his. I declined. This, of course, led to an intense conversation about Aiden. 

“Who is he,” Miles asks me one night at a frat party after I turn down all of his suggestions of male companionship.  When I don’t answer, he continues.  “Hailey, you’re hot as fuck. Any guy would be lucky to have you. You have every guy in this place panting after you and you couldn’t care less.  Who is he?” Miles asks again.

“He’s no one,” I say, not meeting his eyes.  I can feel the blush creep up my face just at the thought of Aiden. 

“Come on, Hales. Let’s you and I take a walk,” Miles says, placing his arm around my shoulders and leading me outside to the back deck.  The frat house sits on what they refer to as “frat row.” There are several fraternities who live on the street, and there is even what they refer to as “Frat Park” which is located at the cul-de-sac at the end of the street. Miles and I walk to the park and find it’s deserted.  No alcohol is allowed at the park; the cops patrol it regularly.  They would love to get a group for public intoxication. So really, it doesn’t get much use. Well, not at nighttime anyway. 

Miles leads me to the swings and we each take one.  “Okay, girl.  Spill it.  Who is he and what the fuck is wrong with him that he’s not with you right now?” he says blatantly. 

“It’s…complicated.”

“Explain it to me,” Miles prods.

I run my shoe through the sand, moving back and forth. Maybe getting a guy’s perspective would help. Miles doesn’t know Aiden, so he can be objective.  I take a deep breath and words just start spewing out of my mouth.

“His name is Aiden. He’s my brother’s best friend. Hell, he’s one of my closest friends as well. I have loved him for as long as I can remember,” I say in a rush.

“Okay, so how does Aiden feel about you?” he questions.

I shrug my shoulders. “He doesn’t know,” I mumble.

“What? Did you just say that he doesn’t know? As in, he has no clue that you’re in love with him?” he asks, shocked.

“Yes,” I whisper. 

“Why? Is it your brother? What’s keeping you from telling him?” Miles is determined to understand.