Matthew's Choice (16 page)

Mariah collapsed in a chair by the window and stared out. Beads of sweat dotted her forehead. A strand of hair had escaped the ponytail, and her right hand shook as she tucked it behind her ear. She turned from the window and leveled her gaze at Allie. “I don’t have enough energy to swat a fly, I hurt all over and I could use something for pain.”

Allie frowned.

“Don’t worry, I’m not taking anything stronger than aspirin.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m scared. If I go to rehab, I’ll be locked away from Noah for no telling how long.”

“Rehab isn’t jail, Mariah.”

“It’ll seem like it. That’s...what I wanted to talk to you about.” She wiped her forehead then rolled her lips in, pressing them together as she looked upward. “You’re a psychologist, can’t you help me?”

“Mariah, I’m only an elementary school counselor, and I’m not trained in drug rehab.”

Her thin shoulders sagged. “I just don’t want to be locked away where I can’t see Noah.”

Allie knelt beside her and took her hands. Mariah’s body shook. “If you don’t go into rehab, I have it on good authority that the state will not release Noah to your care.”

Mariah’s eyes widened. “Would they do that?”

“I’m afraid so. You need to get help, Mariah. For your sake and for Noah’s.” Allie moved from her kneeling position to the chair beside Mariah. “I talked with the administrator of the program here at the hospital. It has one of the lowest rates of recidivism in the state, and you’d be able to stay in the building behind the hospital for the ninety-day program.”

“Ninety days?” Her face became even paler than before. “I can’t afford to stay here that long.”

“You can’t afford not to. And Matt’s paying for it.”

Again, Mariah stared out the window. A minute passed. “Can Noah come see me?”

“After two weeks.”

Mariah closed her eyes and shuddered as she took another deep breath and let it out. “I can’t go on like I am now, but I know I can’t do it by myself...I’ve tried before.”

Abruptly, she squared her shoulders. “Okay. The doc said he’d release me today if I had somewhere to live. I might as well go straight to the facility...would you set it up?”

Allie reached for her hand again and squeezed it. “You’re doing the right thing. I’ll call the administrator on my way back to school. She’s already said if you agreed, she’d take care of the paperwork.”

“Thanks.” Mariah’s voice cracked as she whispered the word and her chin quivered as she blinked back tears. “Would you...” She took another shaky breath. “I’d like to tell Noah myself. Is there any chance you can bring him to the hospital before I leave?”

Tears stung Allie’s own eyes as she nodded. “It’s almost his lunchtime, and then I think he has recess. We’ll see you within the hour.”

“Allie?” Mariah gave her a tremulous smile. “Thanks for everything you’ve done.”

Allie grinned. “I haven’t done anything.”

“Oh, but you have. You took Noah in and now you’re helping me get clean. And you put up with my brother. There for a while, I thought maybe the two of you...” Mariah leaned back in the chair. “What happened to you and Matt?”

Allie had asked herself that same question a dozen times lately and always came up with the same answer. “He wanted a different kind of life than I do. Still does. He wanted me to leave Cedar Grove, and I couldn’t, not—”

“But if you loved him, you would have gone with him,” Mariah said.

“Mariah, think back. Matt was so driven to change, to become this...this other person that he believed he had to be.”

“He has changed—look how he’s helped me and Noah.”

“I’ll give him that, but he’s marrying someone else.”

“No, Matt still loves you. I can see it in his eyes when he’s around you.”

Allie shook her head. “It’s too late for us. Matt’s all set to marry Jessica Winthrop. It’s a done deal.”

“I don’t know who this Jessica is, but I know she can’t hold a candle to you.”

“You’re sweet, Mariah.” She opened the door. “And now I have to go pick up your son.”

* * *

A
LLIE
CONTACTED
THE
rehab administrator as soon as she was in her car and set up Mariah’s transfer. When Allie reached her office she dialed Matt’s number. She hadn’t talked to him since he’d dropped off Noah on Sunday, and they hadn’t really talked then. She pressed his number before she could change her mind.

“This is Matthew Jefferies. Sorry I missed your—”

She ended the call. At least she tried. She noticed a memo from the school secretary. Noah’s essay on drugs was one of three that had been selected to be read at the end of assembly on Friday. He would be so excited. His English teacher had shown it to Allie and she’d been surprised at how good it was. But it was a subject he knew well. She wished Mariah could be there—then again, maybe not. Maybe she could record it and let her watch it in private.

Her cell rang, and she answered, expecting it to be Matt. “Thanks for getting back to me.”

“What?”

Allie held her phone out. Peter. “Oh, sorry, thought you were someone else. What’s going on?”

“Lunch, maybe? Me and you?”

“Afraid not. I’m taking Noah to see his mom during lunch. How about lunch tomorrow?”

“I have appointments. How about dinner tonight?”

“Fine, if you’re up for mac and cheese and hot dogs. It’s Noah’s favorites.”

“Why don’t I bring barbecue for the two of us?”

Sunday with Peter had been fun. After they left Norma Jean’s, they’d brought Logan and Lucas back to her house to get their things and Peter had actually gotten the boys to play Scrabble, after a game of Wii football. Later she and Peter had walked in the park. Another call beeped in, and she checked the phone. Matt. He’d have to wait. “Barbecue sounds wonderful. See you at six?”

“Absolutely.”

She ended the call and switched to Matt. “Hello.”

“Sorry I missed your call, but I was tied up with a clerk at the register’s office.”

Why did his voice have to send shivers down her spine? “What in the world were you doing there?”

“Trying to get a copy of my parents’ marriage license.”

“Whatever for?”

“It’s too long a story to get into now. Has something happened? Is that why you called?”

“I talked to Mariah today, and she’s agreed to enter the rehab program at the hospital. They’re accepting her today.”

“Allie, that’s great. Does Noah know?”

It surprised her that he’d thought of Noah. “Not yet. I’m taking him to see her as soon as this next class period ends. She wants to tell him herself.”

“I wish I could be there.”

“So do I. Are you coming Friday?”

“Planning on it. Why?”

She picked up the memo. “Noah’s essay was picked to be read at the school assembly Friday afternoon, and since his mom can’t be here...”

“What time?”

She could almost hear his brain working on the excuse he’d have to not be there. “Two-fifteen, last period of the day.”

“I think I can make that.”

There shouldn’t be any thinking to it. “It’ll be important to Noah.”

“I’ll be there. And, thanks for everything you’re doing. I doubt I could’ve talked Mariah into rehab. I’ll give her a call in a minute.”

Matt sounded different today, upbeat and energetic. “Mariah probably would have listened to you. She wants to get custody of Noah again, and she knows this is the only way.”

“Well, thanks, anyway.” He hesitated. “Look, I’ve got to tell someone—Bradford offered me a job with the foundation, at twice my current salary. He said my talent and abilities were being wasted.”

So that was it. Maybe Matt would be satisfied now. A job with the world-renowned Bradford Foundation leapfrogged him from somewhere near the middle of the corporate ladder to practically the top rung.

“Well? Don’t you have anything to say?”

An arrow loaded with guilt pierced her conscience. She should be happy for him—his dreams were coming true. So they weren’t her dreams, but if making more money was what made him happy, so be it. She just hoped one day he would realize that life wasn’t about the salary a person made. “Congratulations. I’m excited for you, Matt. Have you told Jessica?”

“Not yet. But I think she’ll understand, although her dad might not be as understanding.”

The door to her office opened, and Noah lingered in the entryway. She waved him in. “Look, I have an appointment. I’ll see you Friday.” She ended the call and smiled at the boy. “How would you like to go see your mom?”

His eyes grew round. “Is she sick again?”

“No, she wants to see you.” She herded him out the door, stopping long enough to sign him out. In the car, Noah seemed quieter than usual. “Everything okay?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I guess.”

Must be her day to pick up on undertones. Unlike Matt’s, Noah’s voice clearly expressed a problem. “So, everything okay with you and the twins?”

Instead of answering, Noah kept silent for two blocks. “Miss Allie, if somebody tells you something and you cross-your-heart-and-hope-to-die promise you won’t tell, will you die if you do?”

Allie pressed her lips together to keep from smiling. Children were so literal. “No, you won’t die. Did the twins tell you something that you promised not to tell?”

He nodded.

Oh, boy. There were so many directions she could go here. They approached the hospital, and she bought time as she scanned the area and found a parking spot. Once she switched off the ignition, she turned to him. “Promises are important, but sometimes you have to break them.”

His face pinched in a frown. “But if I tell, Logan will be really angry.”

There had to be a way to help him understand. “Let me ask you a question. Let’s say it was really cold, and you and Logan found a pond that was frozen over, and you played on it. And let’s say you both promised you wouldn’t tell anyone because you knew adults wouldn’t want you to do that. You go back the next day and while you’re skating on the ice, it cracks and Logan falls into the water. Should you keep your promise not to tell anybody?”

“No! He might die.” Then his worry lines smoothed, and his eyes lightened. “Oh, yeah, I get it. If somebody might get hurt bad, you don’t have to keep your promise.”

“Something like that.” She smiled at him. “You want to share what Logan told you?”

He narrowed his eyes. “I want to think about it a little longer.”

“Okay.” She patted his arm. “Let’s go see your mom.”

Just outside Mariah’s door, Allie gestured to Noah. “Why don’t you go in? I need to, uh, make a call to the school.”

He gave her a curious glance.

Allie took her cell phone from her purse as she waved him in with her hand. “Go ahead. I’ll be in shortly.”

Noah shrugged and pushed open the door. She slipped the phone back in her purse and walked up to the waiting area near the nurses’ station. Mother and son needed time to themselves.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

N
OAH
STILL
FELT
CONFUSED
. Was Miss Allie right? He didn’t really think he’d die if he told Logan’s secret, but it didn’t seem right. He’d promised, and his mom always said you kept your promises. But what if the twins’ dad took them and something terrible happened? Maybe his mom would know what to do. If she told him the same thing that Miss Allie did, then he’d tell. With a lighter heart, he pushed open the door. His mom sat in a chair by the window. “Mom! You’re better! You’re dressed.”

A smile stretched across her face. “I’m going to be okay, Noah. Better than okay. Come give me a hug.”

He ran to her outstretched arm, not caring at the moment that she’d said that before. He buried his head in her shoulder. “I was so worried about you.”

She held him at arm’s length and stroked his cheek. “I know.”

Her eyes were shiny, and for a minute, he thought she was going to cry as she bit her bottom lip. “Everything is going to be okay, Mom. You’re going to come home, and I’ll take care of you.” Tears rolled down her cheeks. “Mom, don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying.” She wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “My eyes are just leaking.”

“Mom, eyes don’t leak.”

She laughed. “Noah, you’re so funny.” She dabbed her eyes with a tissue. “I’m so sorry for what I put you through, and I promise you it won’t happen again.”

His shoulders drooped. She always said that after she got sick, and she meant to keep her promise, but she never did. Maybe that was why it was so important that he keep his promise to Logan.

“Honey, this time it’s for real. That’s why I asked Miss Allie to bring you here. This afternoon I’m going somewhere to get help.”

“You’re going away? No! You can’t do that. I’ll take care of you.”

“
I’m
supposed to take care of you, not the other way around. I’ll still be here in Cedar Grove, and it’ll only be for three months. You can stay with Miss Allie during the week and your Uncle Matt on weekends, like now.”

Noah stared at his mom. What if she never came back? What if she was like his dad and decided she didn’t want him anymore? He folded his arms across his chest.

“Noah, I need to do this. It’s the only way I can stop using the drugs.”

He trembled. She’d never, ever admitted she was using drugs before. “You promise you’ll come back and get me?”

“Oh, Noah, you’re the main reason I’m doing this, and I’m not going anywhere. The state won’t let me have you back unless I get help. And I don’t want to live like this anymore.”

“Can I come see you?”

“After two weeks. And stop frowning. It’s their rules, and it’s only fourteen days, and today counts...so technically it’ll only be thirteen days.”

He tried not to grin, but he couldn’t help it. Only his mom could turn fourteen into thirteen. “You promise?”

“I promise.”

Noah glanced down at the floor. His promise to Logan weighed on his mind. “Is it ever okay to break a promise?”

She heaved a sigh. “No, it’s never okay to break a promise. That’s why I want to get help—so I’ll never do that again. Always remember—”

The door swung open. “Okay to come in?” Miss Allie asked.

“We’re good,” Mariah answered. “Thanks for giving us some time.”

“No problem,” Miss Allie said as she came into the room. She turned to Noah. “I think rehab is a good thing, don’t you?”

“It’s a long time.”

“Not as long as Christmas or even summer break.”

He hadn’t thought of it like that. “So Mom will be home before school is out?”

Miss Allie smiled. “Way before. Speaking of school, you have to get to class, but first I have an announcement.” She pointed toward Noah. “Drum roll, maestro.”

Puzzled, Noah imitated a drum roll.

“I am proud to announce that Mr. Noah Connors has been chosen to read his winning essay this Friday afternoon in the school assembly.”

“What?” His essay won?

“Oh, son, that’s awesome. I wish I could be there to hear you read it.”

Read it?
In front of everyone? Noah’s happiness disappeared.

“I’ll record it with my phone,” Miss Allie said. “And your Uncle Matt is coming.”

He shook his head. “Do I have to read it? Can’t someone else do that?”

His mom put her arm around him. “You’ll do great. Just pretend everyone’s in their underwear.”

“Mom!” Sheesh.

“You’ll do great, and you won’t be the only one. Two other students are reading essays.” Miss Allie nodded as she smiled. “We’ll practice at night.”

He couldn’t get up in front of the whole school. He just couldn’t.

* * *

M
ATT
DRUMMED
HIS
fingers on the leather steering wheel. Allie was right. He needed to tell Jessica he’d accepted a job with Bradford. And then tell her father, his boss, that his last day would be February fourteenth. Or maybe not. He had more than four weeks. Why not wait until the end of January? Two weeks was the customary notice.

No. That wasn’t the right way to handle this. He had a sales meeting at four that Winthrop was sitting in on. He’d tell him after that. Yes, that’s what he’d do. And he couldn’t tell Jessica until he was ready to tell her dad. Maybe he should give her a call, though, and check on plans for this evening.

She answered on the third ring. “Good afternoon, Mr. Jefferies. How did your meeting with J. Phillip Bradford go?”

“Better than I expected. I’ll tell you about it over dinner.”

“That will be perfect since I’m making duck l’orange for you tonight.”

“Wow.”

“I take it you’re pleased?”

“I feel special.”

“I assumed we’d be celebrating your success, landing those other accounts with Mr. Bradford, and I wanted to do it at home.”

“What time? Your dad has scheduled a sales meeting at four, and you know how long that can go.”

“It will be coming out of the oven at six o’clock sharp. I’ve invited him and mother to dinner as well, and he knows better than to be late for me.”

“You’ve already invited them?” Matt swallowed. Maybe he’d wait and break the news to both of them at the same time—after dinner.

* * *

A
S
THE
CLOCK
inched toward five-thirty, Matt tried to focus on the sales project a junior member of the team described, but his mind kept wandering to his job offer from Bradford. The sheer size of the foundation staggered him. Rachel’s Hope alone distributed millions of dollars to various breast cancer research projects. Named after Bradford’s wife, who had died from breast cancer, it was the largest of the three charities. Charities that were largely funded by an investment Bradford made in the sixties.

With a start, he realized Winthrop had asked him a question. “Yes, sir?”

A ripple of laughter went around the room. Wrong answer. Heat rising in his face, Matt palmed his hand up. “Sorry, I guess I was thinking of that duck Jessica is cooking.”

Winthrop’s eyes widened, and he checked his watch. “Time to adjourn this meeting.” He glanced at Matt. “Do you mind if I ride with you? Evelyn is meeting me at Jessica’s.”

“Not at all.” Like he could say anything else. “I’m parked on the second level, so give me a minute to pull my car out front.”

Traffic was light as Matt drove the short distance to Jessica’s apartment on the river bluff.

“Nice car,” Winthrop commented.

“Thank you, sir. Too bad it’s so chilly or we could have the top down.”

“Hmm. How did the meeting with Bradford go today? Did you lock in the rest of the foundation’s banquet business for us?”

Matt pulled up in front of Jessica’s apartment building. Winthrop had always been more than fair with him. It wasn’t right for him to be less than honest now. “Actually, sir—” he swallowed “—Bradford offered me a job...at twice my current salary.”

“I see.”

Silence filled the small car. Maybe he should have waited.

Winthrop cleared his throat. “I’ll match the salary and make you a junior vice president of the company.”

For once in his life, Matt was speechless. His mouth worked, but no words formed.

Winthrop grinned like a Cheshire cat. “It’s okay, son, you don’t have to decide this minute. But remember, you are marrying into the Winthrop family—and there’s no limit to how high you can go in the corporation.”

“I have to say I never expected this. Thank you for your confidence, sir.” Matt’s mind whirled as Winthrop opened the door and climbed out of the car. A job offer that he’d accepted and now a counteroffer. All in one day. Robotlike, he put the car in Drive and pulled away from the curb to find a parking space. He had some serious thinking to do.

* * *

T
HE
EVENING
PASSED
in a blur. He kept quiet as Jessica raved about a porcelain doll she’d bought for her collection. He admired the dainty doll when she brought it out, and gathered from her mother that this something-or-other Bebe was a good find. He didn’t see that it was much different from all the other dolls in the collection. Dolls Jessica had had since she was a little girl, her mother had once told him.

He’d always liked Evelyn Winthrop. Poised and gracious—nothing ruffled her, not even her husband. She was the perfect corporate wife and her daughter was almost a carbon copy. Matt played around with the food, even managing to eat a small amount.

“Crème brûlée?” When he nodded, Jessica whisked his plate away and set a small dessert bowl in front of him.

She was very beautiful tonight, dressed in a black sheath, her coppery hair pulled up in a French twist. And even though dinner was simple, she’d created an atmosphere of elegance, with the meal moving gracefully from one course to the next. Matt traced his finger along the stem of the Waterford goblet. It was easy to imagine Jessica throwing a dinner party for a hundred guests and it going off without a hitch. He’d been right six months ago when he first decided that she would be the perfect wife for him.

He should be on top of the world. A beautiful fiancée, job offer, counteroffer, his salary doubled. So why did emptiness fill him?

A beep came from the kitchen. “That’s our coffee,” Jessica said. “I’ll be right back.”

For a nanosecond, it was Allie, not Jessica, smiling at him. He rubbed his hand across his eyes. Too much had happened today. He wasn’t himself.

Jessica returned with a silver carafe, and after she’d filled the cups, she leaned in close to him. “Would you like to share your good news about getting Bradford’s business?”

Matt glanced toward William Winthrop and the older man gave him a go-ahead nod.

“Well, the meeting didn’t turn out quite like I envisioned. J. Phillip Bradford offered me a job.”

Jessica gaped at him. “You told him no, of course.”

“Actually, I didn’t. It was an amazing offer.”

“Matt, you can’t!” She turned to her father. “Daddy, do something!”

“Let him finish, Jessica.”

“When I told your dad, he made a counteroffer. Same salary. Junior vice-president position.”

Jessica squealed. “Oh, Daddy!” She kissed her father repeatedly on the cheek, and then pounced on Matt. “You shouldn’t have scared me like that.” She leaned closer and whispered in his ear. “He’s grooming you to take his place, you know.”

Matt swallowed hard. Could that be true? Although Winthrop had hinted at it, Matt’s mind couldn’t process the possibility. But it made his decision so much more difficult.

Winthrop’s chair scraped back on the hardwood floor. “Evelyn,” the older man said, “I think it’s time to take our leave. These young people need time to themselves.”

On her way out the door, Evelyn hugged Matt. “I’m so proud of you. And I can’t wait to have you for a son-in-law.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Winthrop.”

“Let’s not have any more of this Mrs. Winthrop nonsense. Call me Evelyn.”

Matt didn’t know if he could do that. “Yes, ma’am.”

As soon as the door was closed behind her parents, Jessica wrapped her arms around him. “I’m so proud of you, too.”

“I haven’t decided if I’ll take your dad’s offer.” There. The words were out.

She stepped back. “Not take his offer? I don’t understand.”

“I have to think about it.”

“What’s to think about? We’re going to be married. You’ll be part of the Winthrop family. Why would you want to work for someone like Bradford, anyway? He’s done nothing but give you grief ever since you went after the Valentine’s Day contract.”

He held up his hand. “My head is going around and around. I don’t want to talk about this anymore tonight.”

“Fine.” Jessica began clearing the table.

He knew that tone, and everything was not fine. “I’ll help.” He gathered the linen napkins.

“I’d rather do it by myself. Why don’t you go home and get your head cleared.”

“Come on, Jessica. Just because—”

“Please. Go home.”

He stiffened at her sharp tone. “Why are you angry?”

“I’m not angry, but if we can’t discuss something as important as your career, what does it say about our relationship?”

“The conversation seems a little one-sided.”

“Well, I’m sorry if I want you to do what’s best for your career.”

He tossed the napkins on the table. “You know, I think you’re right. I probably do need to go home.”

He shrugged into his overcoat. When he bent to kiss her good-night, she offered her cheek. He turned her to face him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

She lifted her gaze and tears wet her lashes. “I just want to be part of your life. Sometimes I feel like one of those dolls I collect—something to be admired and taken out of the case only to be shown off.”

He brushed a tear from her cheek. “Could you give me a little while to process today?”

She nodded. “Of course. Just don’t shut me out.”

“I won’t.” The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Jessica.

* * *

“N
OAH
’
S
SPEECH
...
DID
you help him with it?” Peter handed Allie the last plate to dry. After they had ended up sharing the take-out sweet-and-sour chicken with Noah, Peter had rolled up his dress-shirt sleeves and commandeered her sink.