Matt (The Cowboys) (26 page)

As a girl and a young woman, Ellen had yearned for a physical relationship with a man. Her innocence of what it entailed, her belief that physical love was accompanied by never-ending emotional love, had made it the greatest desire of her heart. The hope that someday a man would come and rescue her from this hell on earth was all that had helped her endure a loveless existence with her cousin.

Eddie Lowell’s attempt to rape her had changed all that. Everything about a physical relationship with a man became disgusting, cruel, and degrading. Working in the saloon only strengthened that revulsion. Living with Matt had begun to change it. She wasn’t ready to fall into any man’s arms, but she was considering the possibility. The thought of falling into Wilbur’s arms, however, caused her to feel nothing but disgust.

She firmly removed his hands from her arms. “There’s no point in discussing this any further. You know I’m a willful woman, not at all biddable. I would drive you crazy within a month.”

“Nonsense. I—”

“You don’t want the children, Wilbur. Surely my having married a man I barely knew has convinced you I’ll do anything I must to keep them.”

“My work is to bring the heathen into recognition of their sins, to admit their miserable lives are worthless, that their time on this earth is merely a trial, a vale of tears through which they must pass before coming into glory,” Wilbur said, his eyes burning with unnatural zeal. “The devil is a mighty foe, Ellen, a relentless foe. One who—”

“I don’t want to interfere with your calling.”

“Children will sap my energies, take up my time, bring temptation and sin into my home, but I will make the sacrifice for you. You can be my wife and keep the children.”

Ellen wanted to tell Wilbur that he didn’t love children, that he didn’t understand them, that she would give them to gypsies before she let him get his hands on them. But she didn’t. Wilbur was a powerful and dangerous enemy. She didn’t want to antagonize him any more than necessary until the adoption was final.

“I’m already married,” she said. “Matt wants the children as much as I do, and the ranch is a perfect place for them.” He didn’t have to know she didn’t mean to stay once the adoption was final. “You don’t need a wife or children. Help me convince the judge that Matt will make a good father—”

Fury suffused Wilbur’s face. “I won’t rest as long as Matt Haskins has one innocent soul in his grasp. And you,” he said, gripping her arms again in a painful grasp, “belong to me.”

“What is that man going to do to me?” Noah asked Matt.

“He’s not going to do anything,” Matt said. “He just wants to ask you some questions.”

“What kind of questions?” Tess asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe he wants to know if you like living on a ranch. Whether you want to go back to Bandera.”

“I never want to go back there,” Noah said. “Everybody was always saying bad things about us.”

“You don’t think we’re bad, do you?” Tess asked.

“I think you’re a beautiful little girl,” Matt said. “I can’t wait until I can adopt you.”

“You want to adopt me, too, don’t you?” Noah asked.

“I sure do. I’m depending on you to help me with the horses when you get older.”

“Toby doesn’t want me to help.”

“Toby won’t be here forever.”

“Where will he go?”

“I don’t know. Boys usually go away when they grow up, but there’s still lots of time for you and Toby to learn to like each other.”

“He says I’m a pest,” Noah said. “He says I don’t know anything.”

“He said I was a bug,” Tess added.

“He doesn’t mean it,” Matt assured them. “He’s afraid you don’t like him. He’s acting mean so you won’t be able to tell it makes him sad.”

“He wants us to like him?” Noah asked, incredulous.

“Sure. Toby wants friends just like you and Orin do.”

“I like Orin.”

“He’s nice,” Tess added. “He smiles at me sometimes.”

“Then you make sure you tell that to the judge,” Matt said. “It’s very important for him to know you’re happy and want to be adopted.”

“That preacher said he would take us away,” Noah said.

“He can say all the bad things he wants, but he can’t take you away.”

Noah didn’t look absolutely certain.

“He’s not mad at you,” Matt said. “He doesn’t like me.”

“Why?” Noah asked. “I like you.”

“I
love
you,” Tess said. “So does Fluffy.” She hugged her kitten close.

The door banged open and Toby rushed out. “I took care of everything,” he announced with a swagger. “It’s in the bag.”

“He seemed real nice,” Orin said, but Matt could tell the boy was still worried.

“You kids don’t have to worry,” Toby said to Tess and Noah. “I already told that judge you was too little to know what a load of sh—horse manure that Reverend Sears was.”

“I’m sure he appreciated that.” Matt wondered when Toby would stop being his own worst enemy.

“Now, don’t worry. I’ll be right here,” Matt said to the children. “If you get scared, just call me.”

“I’m already scared,” Tess said.

“I’m not,” Noah announced, but he didn’t move one step from Matt.

Matt walked Noah and Tess inside to the kitchen.

“Can you stay with me?” Tess looked ready to burst into tears.

The judge didn’t look encouraging. “Tell you what,” Matt said. “I’ll be on the porch. You can see me through the window.”

Tess didn’t look happy, but she looked a little less ready to cry.

“You hold tight to Noah’s hand,” Matt said. Normally Noah would have objected to holding Tess’s hand, but Matt guessed he was glad for a little moral support. “Don’t forget,” he said before he closed the door, “I’ll be right outside.”

Toby and Orin were waiting for him on the porch.

“Do you want to know what I told the judge?” Toby asked.

Matt didn’t, but he figured Toby would be hurt by what he would see as a lack of interest. “Sure. What did you tell him?”

But Matt had a difficult time listening to Toby proudly tell how he had convinced the judge that Matt and Ellen were the perfect parents. He couldn’t turn his gaze from Ellen and Wilbur. Ellen was standing still, her body ramrod straight. She didn’t look pleased, but Matt hadn’t expected Ellen and Wilbur to agree on anything, especially when it came to the children.

“I told him I got in trouble because people were jealous of my looks and the attention I got from girls,” Toby was saying.

“And I suppose you think that answered all his questions about how people treat you,” Matt said.

“I told him they didn’t like my foreign blood. I also told him I occasionally tried to get people back for the way they treated me. I told him you said that was wrong, that people would never really trust anybody who’s different from them.”

They were getting on shaky ground. “What did the judge say?”

“He said he’d felt like that when he was a boy. Then I told him you said you used to want to get people back for the way they treated you.”

“Toby, you didn’t!” That ought to cook his goose right there.

“But I told him you decided a long time ago that was stupid.”

Matt decided he had no one but himself to blame. Toby hadn’t done anything but tell the judge what Matt had told him. What better basis could the judge have on which to make his decision?

“I’m sure the judge appreciated your candor,” Matt said. “Why don’t you and Orin go check on the horses?”

The horses were fine, but maybe that would break up Wilbur and Ellen’s conversation. Matt knew he could do the same thing, but he was trying to have faith in Ellen. All the time. In all ways. He wanted her to stay on the ranch after the adoption. He was certain the adoption wouldn’t be official immediately. There would be a period of waiting, making sure everything worked out. The longer she stayed, the better the chances she wouldn’t leave.

He got to his feet, his body tense. Wilbur had put his hand on Ellen, had taken her by the arms. Matt didn’t expect he would attempt to harm her. Besides, after having survived brawny saloon drunks for two years, Ellen could take care of herself. But that wasn’t why Matt was on his feet, or why he had to stop himself from running the whole distance that separated them.

Ellen was his wife! And no man was allowed to put his hands on her!

Two things caused Matt to settle back in his chair. Ellen pushed Wilbur’s hand away and started walking toward the house. The other was shock at his own feelings. When had he started to feel Ellen belonged to him? He didn’t try to fool himself by pretending this was merely a man protecting a woman from abuse. This was a case of a man threatening a woman Matt considered his own.

Was he crazy? They shared a common goal, lived in the same house, and slept in the same bed, but she didn’t belong to him. This was a marriage of convenience—or deception. When they achieved their goal, everything would change.

Ellen stopped to talk to Orin and Toby. She cast a look over her shoulder at Wilbur, following a few paces back. Matt smiled to himself when Toby and Orin turned around and placed themselves on either side of Ellen. Apparently he wasn’t the only one who felt protective toward her.

The front door opened and Noah burst out, followed by Tess. They both threw themselves at Matt. Without conscious thought, he picked Tess up with one arm and put his other arm around Noah’s shoulder when the little boy hugged him around the waist. Once he realized what he’d done, he was shocked. He’d never voluntarily embraced another human being. But even more of a surprise was the discovery that he liked holding Tess in his arms, hugging Noah. He needed it, too. It was as though an oasis had sprung up where there had been only desert before. Both children started talking at once.

“He didn’t try to scare us,” Noah said.

“He likes dolls,” Tess said.

“Naw, he doesn’t,” her brother said. “He was just trying to be nice. He wants to see my horse. Can I show him? Please!”

Smiling, the judge emerged from the house. “That’s quite a family you’ve got here,” he said. “You sure you’re ready for that much responsibility?”

“I’m thirty, Judge. Some younger men have families twice this size.”

“But you’ve got a unique challenge. Are you up to it?”

“I can’t imagine being without them.”

“Can I get my horse?” Noah asked.

“Why don’t you take the judge over to the corral?”

“You come, too,” the judge said to Matt. “I want to know more about this ranch of yours.”

“It belongs to the bank,” Wilbur said, coming up. It seemed he’d left Ellen behind when he realized her protectors weren’t about to leave her side. “If he loses it, he won’t have a home for these children.”

“The bank holds the mortgage,” Matt said, “but I’m a payment ahead.”

“I thought your parents were rich,” the judge said. “Why did you have to borrow the money?”

“We all agreed they’d done more than enough when they adopted us and gave us a home as long as we wanted,” Matt explained. “We wanted to buy our own ranches, to help each other if necessary, but not take money from Jake and Isabelle.”

“Which has frustrated Isabelle badly,” Ellen said, joining the group. “She comes over when Matt’s gone to bring him furniture and curtains. If he returns them, she brings them back the minute he turns his back.”

“And where are these orphans now?” the judge asked.

“Five of us have ranches here in the Hill Country, five are working out west, and one still lives at home.”

“Half of them are gunfighters,” Wilbur said. “Luke Attmore is notorious.”

“A lot of good men were once gunfighters,” Matt said. “Hen Randolph used to be the most feared gunman in Arizona. Now he’s a respected rancher.”

“And that black man and half-breed aren’t much better,” Wilbur said, ignoring Matt.

“Zeke and Hawk do a little bit of everything,” Matt said.

“You seem to have a very interesting family,” the judge said. “Why don’t you tell me something about it while Noah shows me his horse.”

“There’s no point in doing that,” Wilbur said. “He’s unfit to have custody of these children. Even Toby.” Wilbur took a deep breath. “I’ve told Ellen I’m willing to take the two younger children.”

“I don’t want to go with you,” Noah said. “You hate me.

Wilbur ignored Noah. “Ermajean McCutchen can hardly wait to have Orin back.”

“I’ll never go back there,” Orin said, moving until he was next to Matt.

Wilbur ignored Orin, too.

“I’m sure I’ll even be able to find a home for Toby,” Wilbur said, distaste evident in his curled lip. “It won’t be easy—he’s not a nice boy—but the good people of this town will rise to the occasion.”

“You’re not married, Wilbur,” Matt said. “As you’ve said on numerous occasions, it’s not suitable for a single man to have responsibility for such young and impressionable children.”

“I might get married,” Wilbur said.

“I am married, and the children are comfortable here.”