Mask of A Legend (8 page)

Legend felt her own face pulsating where her mother’s handprint stood. She pulled her hand away and saw blood on it, the blood from her mask, the blood that her mother caused. Legend sat back in the chair and calmed herself, breathing in and out slow and deep. “Listen, Mom, I know that you’re too drunk to realize what you’re doing, but I’m sick and tired of having to put up with you hitting me. Whenever you get drunk like this, you hit me, and I mean really hit me.” She felt her face again where her mother’s print was. “This time you just hit me once, so I guess you’re not that drunk.”

“You listen to me, L-E-G-E-N-D, which really spells out U-G-L-Y, I am your mother, and I could hit you whenever, and however I want to,” her mother jabbed. Legend’s eyes developed tears.

“Why do you always call me ugly when you’re drunk like this? You’re supposed be my mother, not my enemy.”

Her mother sat down in a chair opposite her. “What did you do with that money?” her mother asked as if she completely ignored Legend’s question.

“I spent it on a model search that I’m going to attend in three days.” Legend got up from her seat and walked over to a drawer that was on the left side of her. She opened it up and pulled out a tape recorder. She pushed the record button and then walked back to her seat.

“You did what?” her mother asked. She was too drunk to notice the tape recorder on the counter.

“I spent it on a model search. Some of the top modeling agents in the world are going to be there, and they’re going to choose girls to represent.”

“And you think these agents are going to choose you? Look at yourself, your lips are small, your hair is stringy, and overall, your face looks like a pizza. You may as well have flushed the money down the toilet, because that’s exactly what you did.” Legend’s tears fell to her lap. She got up from her seat before her mother added, “Yeah, that’s right, I said your face looks like a pizza. You’re ugly, Legend, and this model search isn’t going to make you any prettier, or uglier.” She then took another swig. “You’re just going to stay the same, unattractive.” Another swig. “Does your father know about this?”

“No, I haven’t talked to my father in a year. If you wouldn’t destroy your brain cells so much, you would have known that,” Legend then walked up to the tape recorder.

“Don’t get smart with me, Legend. Just because your father lives in a gorgeous mansion in Oak Brook, and also is the cause of me drinking, doesn’t give you the right to crucify me for it,” her mother yelled. Legend pressed the stop button on the tape recorder.

“Yeah, well if you wouldn’t have had an affair with another man, we would still be living in that mansion. Just because you hardly received any money out of the divorce doesn’t give you the right to crucify me either.”

Legend pulled out the tape from the recorder and walked over to her mother. Before her mother could say what she was thinking, Legend handed the tape to her and said, “I’m going to go and stay at Jenny’s house tonight, and tomorrow, and even the next day. I’m not going to leave you her number, because I don’t want to see you anymore. After the model search, if I get chosen by agents or not, I will find another place to live. . . . Also, listen to this tape when you’re sober, maybe this way you’ll know why your daughter left you.” Her mother grabbed onto the tape, looking at Legend with tired eyes; the liquor was beginning to get to her. Legend walked out of the kitchen and watched her mother lay her head on the table and close her eyes. She was too drunk to realize her daughter was leaving for good, and too drunk to hold her eyelids open. “Goodbye, Mom.” She turned around and proceeded to walk toward the stairs. That’s when she saw Jenny sitting on the top stair with tears in her eyes also. Legend walked up the stairs and Jenny reached out her arms to hug her.

“I’m so sorry, Legend, I had no idea she was like that,” Jenny said. Legend sat on the stair also while hugging Jenny.

“Just promise me you’ll be at this modeling thing on the last day, watching me on the catwalk.” Jenny stroked her blond, stringy hair and shut her eyes, knowing that she had to be there now for Legend, almost mandatory.

“I promise you, I’ll be there till the end.” Her tears fell onto Legend’s back, while Legend’s tears fell onto hers.

“I just wish I was beautiful, so the whole world could see it and love it,” Legend pleaded. They started hugging each other tighter.

“Well, maybe your wish will come true. But overall, I’ll pray for you, Legend.” Their tears came to an end and so did their words. They just sat in silence, embracing each other and feeling one another’s energy bouncing back and forth.

L
egend appeared in front of the hotel with Jenny, overflowing with fears of knowing that she was ugly and the negative thought kept on showing itself. She hesitated from proceeding to walk into the luxurious hotel, faltered because she wasn’t a model in the first place − she didn’t know anymore why she came to be in this position. The sudden drive was there, simmering still from Dina’s fight, but it was beginning to unfortunately lower its flames. But it was strong enough to bring her this far. She watched beautiful, young girls entering the hotel, and nothing more than envious, innocent sadness stood in her glare. Legend just wanted, just begged for a moment in her existence where she could stand with the others, both beautiful and elite, and prove to them she was just as good. Yet Legend didn’t know she was too obsessed with proving it to others, not herself. “I can’t go in there, Jenny, I just can’t,” Legend pleaded. She turned around and walked opposite from the hotel. Legend walked faster and Jenny tried to keep up with her rhythm.

Jenny finally walked in front of Legend. “Listen to me, Legend, it’s only going to be today and tomorrow that this model search is going to last for. You can do it!”

“No I can’t, I’m too embarrassed by the way I look,” Legend cried out, noticing a taxi that stopped right next to her. The taxi door opened suddenly and Legend’s mouth dropped to the ground. Her nerves showed through her shaky hands, sweat formed through her oily pores, and anxiety raised faster than her heartbeat, seeing a figure stepping out from the cab. Like a dying rainbow, a lump in the throat, it was the silver spoon: Dina.

“Well, well, what are you doing here?” Dina asked, snotty as always, while two of her friends exited the taxi as well. Legend became speechless: she knew if she told the real reason why she was here, then Dina would surely make fun of her. But, if she didn’t say anything, then Dina would still call her names. “Hey, ugly, astronomy geek, I asked you a question!”

“She’s going to the model search,” a woman replied from behind Jenny. They all turned around to see where the voice came from and, lo and behold, it was Angelica. She went in front of Legend to face Dina and asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Who is this ugly, black−?”

Angelica covered Dina’s mouth and warned, “Don’t even go there, miss prissy.” Dine pushed her hand away from her face. “By the way, I’m Angelica Winters, pleased to meet you.” Dina pushed her out of her way and walked up to Legend.

“So, you think that you’re going to get discovered by a modeling agent? Well, I have one thing to say to you, Legend, make sure when you walk on the catwalk, that you don’t show your face,” Dina rudely commented. Her friends immediately laughed.

“Yeah, well don’t show yours either,” said Jenny. Dina and her friends walked away.

“Why don’t you lose some weight?” Dina questioned. Her skinny, severely thin legs then entered the hotel with her stuck-up friends.

Legend turned away from the hotel and commenced crying. At the same time, rain fell, poetically mixing in with the drops. She walked farther away from the hotel, and Jenny followed. But Angelica put her left hand in front of Jenny and said, “Let me handle this!” Jenny stopped as Angelica walked behind Legend, as if she knew the pain Legend felt, understood because her so-called ugliness resembled Legend’s. “I know what you’re feeling right now,” Angelica explained. Legend stopped walking and turned around to face her. “Don’t let those girls push you around. I promise you that you’ll have the time of your life in this hotel. I promise that you’ll get discovered by agents.”

“You can’t be serious, you can’t keep a promise like that. . . . I’m just scared to go in there,” cried Legend. Jenny walked up to them slowly while the rain fell harder, pounding its way in through this precious moment. Eavesdropping.

“Legend, listen, I have to go now. I’m sorry, but I promised my mother I would just drop you off,” Jenny said. She felt bad for leaving Legend in the position she’s in. “So, are you going to stay or not?” An angel with a bit of extra weight, Jenny prayed in her thoughts that Legend wouldn’t back down.

Angelica looked at Legend and gave a big smile toward her, it was a smile that reflected off of Legend. Angelica turned around to face Jenny and said, “She’s going to stay!” Jenny gave Legend a hug and then jumped in the taxi which Dina exited from. Legend watched the taxi drive off while drying her tears with her wrist. Angelica grabbed onto Legend’s right hand and they both lingered into the hotel. Once they entered, Angelica guided Legend to a table that was in the center of the foyer.

“Why hello there,” Paula said, sitting behind the table as Legend looked down at the red carpet. She didn’t want Paula to see her face, but Angelica grabbed onto Legend’s chin very gently and lifted it up. “Your name’s Legend, right?” Paula asked in a smiling manner, trying to cheer her up. She looked at Legend’s face and knew she was scared of what everyone would think of it.

The moment had arrived, Legend standing there like a wounded lamb, begging to the wolf for mercy. Face-to-face, panic and a thirst of anxiety raced around her mind, feeling her tears pressing against her eyes− the pressure was immense, intense, like a bomb balancing on a fence made of fire. This was it.

“Yes, ma’am,” Legend’s voice answered in a child’s tone, and all Paula could do was stare at her majestic, blue eyes. They were beautiful – like a blue diamond with pieces of white lines shaded around it – gorgeous in every way.

“That’s a beautiful name for a beautiful young girl.” Legend grew a smile. “Now, did you pay the full amount for this event?”

“Yes, ma’am,” replied Legend. Angelica smiled toward Paula also.

“Alright, the training for the catwalk begins at 5:00 p.m., so that gives you a good two hours to get settled in your room. Um, after the training is finished, we’ll have a few guest speakers talk to all of you and mainly pump up your esteem for the real challenge tomorrow. Make sure that you’re up by 7:00 tomorrow morning: the agents will begin looking at you girls by 9:00. . . . Mainly you should concentrate on drinking ten glasses of water today, so that your skin will be cleansed, and putting moisturizer on your skin. Don’t wear any make-up tomorrow: the agents want to see the real you. Overall, have a good time. Do you have any questions? Oh, before I forget, make sure that your portfolio is correctly checked by one of our associates. What they’ll do is put your best photo in the front, because the agents will look at those first,” Paula explained in a fast manner. Legend’s mind got overwhelmed with all the things she had to do. “If you are not called back by an agent, meaning not chosen, then make sure you leave directly after the event is finished. But, if you are called back by them, then stay and wait for further instructions by myself or whoever is going to give them to you. Now, do you have any questions?”

A line of girls formed behind Legend quickly. “Well, I don’t exactly have a portfolio, is that a problem?” Legend asked as Paula grinned.

“No, not at all, we sell portfolios here, you can buy one right now if you want. They cost eighty dollars.” Legend looked at Angelica with sadness in her eyes.

“I don’t have eighty dollars, do I really need a portfolio, ma’am?”

“Please, call me ‘Paula’, and yes it would be a good step in showing the agents that you are serious about this. I mean, they are going to watch over eight hundred girls walk by them on the catwalk while showing their photos. It’s a lot easier to carry them in a portfolio.”

Angelica walked up to Legend’s ear. “Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it,” Angelica whispered. Suddenly the girls standing behind them began saying mean things to Legend. The demons were growing impatient.

“Come on, zit face, there are other girls who would like to get settled in their rooms,” a girl yelled out from behind Legend. And of course, jerks following jerks, made of plastic and cologne, the whole line started laughing: followers.

“Here’s your badge, and have a good time,” Paula said in sincerity, handing Legend her name tag. “Wear this at all times while you’re out of your room. Agents could be walking by at any time: they’re in this hotel right as we speak. So if they like your look, then this name tag will be your key to having them know who you are.” Paula then gave a saddened smile toward Legend, a crooked grin that meant Legend, though a strong person and very courageous for attempting to go to this search, still wore a vivid mask of ugliness to its texture and knew that soon enough she would have to be let down as reality set in. Years of pressure to stay beautiful, thin and ageless taught Paula that.

Legend waited for Angelica to get her name tag while Paula would stare at her every so often. Angelica then walked with Legend to get their keys for their rooms and ran up to the top floor with excitement. They endeared down the hallway toward Legend’s room first. “My God, we’re in the search, this is beautiful,” Legend announced, looking at the pink wallpaper and the oil paintings that hung in the hallway.

“I know, I’ve been here many times,” Angelica stated. Suddenly she purposely bit her lip. “I mean, I know girls who have been here many times in the past.” They approached Legend’s room. “Hey, my room is right next-door” Angelica said. She stood next to her own room and Legend stood next to hers.

“That’s great, do you want to come over to my room later on and we could watch a movie or something?” asked Legend.

“Yeah, I’ll come over later on tonight.”

Legend stuck her card key into the slot above the doorknob, and opened her door, slow and dramatic.

“See you then, Angelica.” Legend walked into her room and her blue eyes widened to the sight of a chandelier that hung over the doorway inside. She brought her body deeper into the room and realized this was paradise, like she was walking into an abyss that was decorated with luxurious trinkets, and, overall, luxuries that only certain eyes were allowed to see. There were six rooms, and a bathroom as big as four rooms, and Legend roamed this magnificent sight and inhaled it all. She started to walk in one of the rooms and realized it was the master bedroom. There was a queen-size bed, vases at every end, and portraits of famous artists that stood in the pathway of her sight. She walked over to the enormous queen-size bed and saw little, golden chocolates that lay in the center of it. She suddenly stepped onto the bed and stood up on it while jumping around. But her happiness ceased when she said, “Wait a second, this can’t be my room!” She then ran through the hotel room and headed for the door. It seemed like a labyrinth as Legend tried to find it. She reached the big door and hurried to open it. Ironically, Legend feared this beautiful sight: she feared it because she didn’t think it was hers to enjoy. She opened the door and found Angelica directly in front of her, holding up her fists as if she was ready to knock on the door. “Oh my God, Angelica, you scared me!”

“What’s wrong?” asked Angelica. Legend tried to catch her breath, for she was terrified, calming down and laughing from being terrified and calming down all at the same time. A paradox.

“The hotel must have made a mistake, this room seems like it would cost in the thousands to stay in, and I know I didn’t pay any thousand for it,” Legend fearfully replied. Angelica grew a small smile on her acne-filled face.

“Legend, sometimes you have to accept things as they come to you, without asking any questions. A different reality.”

“But this is outrageous, I mean, did you see my room?” Legend guided Angelica into the fancy room in a speedy manner, holding out her hands and pointing to the beauty all around.

“Yes, I did see it, I have the exact same one, including the balcony.”

Legend’s mouth dropped. “You mean my room has a balcony also?” She ran up to the huge window and realized it was a balcony door instead. She opened up the white, silken curtains and opened the glass door with excitement. She walked out onto the balcony while showing amazement in her eyes. She looked up and the rain fell upon her repulsive-looking face, while Angelica walked up to the balcony door and looked out at Legend through the window. “This is amazing!” Legend walked back into her hotel room.

“Why thank you,” said Angelica. Once again she bit her bottom lip and showed some nervousness in her brown eyes. Hiding something was one thing, but Angelica was almost acting like she wanted Legend to find out that she was withholding something from her.

“What did you say?” Attention-seeker or drama conspirator, Legend heard tidbits of what Angelica said, but didn’t make a big deal of it. If Angelica wanted to tell her something, then she would when the time came – Legend’s thinking.

“I mean, yeah, it is amazing. Listen, could I use your bathroom, I really have to go?” Angelica walked toward the bathroom’s direction.

“Yeah sure.”

Angelica closed the bathroom door in a fast motion and walked up to the crystal-like sink and turned on the water, all the time looking down at the ground. She began putting the water on her black, acne-filled face and stared at her face in the mirror. A groan, deep and echo-like, came from the room while she stared at the mirror. Her image revealed a beautiful woman with long, black, silky hair and almond skin. Her face showed beauty in the mirror, beauty that was reflected off of it. The mirror vibrated a bit and stopped, and the water still ran down the crystal-like sink. “So this is the girl, right?” Angelica asked her reflection. The mirror illuminated light from the edges of it, starting to shine brightly as Angelica went over to the bathroom door and locked it. She went back to the mirror and watched as stars and beautiful, bright galaxies appeared in it. The background at the back of her went pitch-black and the voice echoes, though soft, came back to the room. Now they sounded like crying.