Authors: Jessica Ingro
“There’s a signing in Denver in a couple of months. You should go with Meredith,” she subtly suggested.
“Depends on whether or not there’s a huge party I’ll have to shake my ass at,” I partially jested. “Besides I think Tanner and Mer have been spending more time together. He’ll probably be all over traveling with her.”
I still didn’t understand what was going on between them. It would seem they were reunited but at the same time they weren’t. It was a puzzle I couldn’t quite figure out how to put together.
“No ass shaking required,” she assured me. “Keep it in mind. I had fun with you tonight.”
I groaned when she opened her mouth wide and sucked the top of her ice cream into her mouth. She glanced up with a raised eyebrow and a saucy grin.
“You done torturing me?” I asked her with a grin of my own.
“I’m not so sure.” She did one last lick that ended with a curl in the tip of her tongue before it retreated into her mouth. Good lord she was killing me.
She got up and threw away the rest of her cone before coming back to stand in front of me with her hands in her back pockets. “So what’s next?”
“Whatever you want.” I stood and took her hand as we walked back to the car.
Stopping in the open door of the Jeep, she pressed against me. “Let’s go back to my hotel and see what trouble your scoundrel can get into.”
“You sure?” I ran the backs of my fingers along her cheek and down her jawline.
“Yeah. I like you, Ben. I know you don’t expect anything from me which I appreciate.”
“Okay. If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure. You don’t have to keep asking.” She climbed up in the Jeep, ending the conversation.
The drive to her hotel passed by quickly, and before I knew it, we were up in her room, making out like teenagers on her bed. It started off slow but the heat quickly built between us.
Naked and sheathed in a condom, Cassandra climbed on top and took me inside her with one quick movement. She was hot and tight, making me yearn for more.
I sat up and forced her onto her back. With her legs over my shoulders, I thrust into her hard enough to make the headboard slap against the wall. Cassandra’s breath jolted and her boobs bounced with each thrust. Leaning on my fists at either side of her head, I swallowed her cries as she came around me. Driving into her a few more times, I let go and came with a grunt.
Breathing heavily, I pulled out and rolled off of her. After tossing the condom in a garbage can by the bed, I joined Cassandra, who had crawled under the sheets. I absently glided my fingers over her thigh as I got lost in thought.
The sex between us was good—great even—but for as attracted to Cassandra as I was, there was something missing. A passion that I hadn’t known I was absent in my relationships until Clarissa came into my life.
At some point, Cassandra noticed I had zoned out. She turned on her side and propped her head in her hands. “You care about her don’t you?”
Not following her, I asked, “What are you talking about?”
“Meredith’s cousin Rissa.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” My heart raced a little when she mentioned Rissa. I didn’t know where she was going with this and the last thing I wanted to do was discuss Rissa while I was still naked in bed with her.
Until that point, Cassandra had seemed like a down ass chick. Was this the portion of the evening where she went all fatal attraction on my ass over a perceived threat from Rissa?
“Ben, I saw you two together at the signing. I walked away from your table and you barely spared me a glance. You had all the right moves tonight, but I could tell your head wasn’t really in it.”
“Shit. Was it that bad?” I asked horrified that she didn’t enjoy herself. I had never had that problem before.
She sat up and pulled the sheet up, holding it to her chest. “It wasn’t bad at all. Don’t worry, I wasn’t faking when I finished. I write sex scenes and love stories for a living. I’d like to think I’m a connoisseur of great chemistry, and while all the signs were there that we might have it, it just didn’t happen.”
“I am so fucking sorry. I don’t want you to think I used you. I really enjoyed hanging out with you tonight. It’s just... I don’t know.”
“The spark just wasn’t there. The one that tells you that you need to have that person right that instant. The one that makes you so hot you feel like you’re burning up from the inside out?” She finished for me.
“Yeah. I guess that sounds about right.”
“I have a confession. I walked into the bathroom at one of the signings you were at. I saw you and Rissa together and there was no mistaking you two had the spark. It was pretty hot actually. Stirred my creative juices something fierce. I think I wrote some of my best sex scenes later that night.”
“Huh.” I scratched my temple in a slight unease. “I’m not sure what to say to that.”
“There’s nothing to say. I still had fun tonight even if you aren’t into me like that. You’re a good guy, Ben. I’d like to think we could be good friends.”
“Same here. You’re a pretty cool chick.” I tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ears.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“How come you aren’t with Rissa? I mean, she lives close right?”
I shrugged and looked away. Leaning back on the pillows, I told her, “She’s back with her ex. It happened right after the signing. So I decided to let it go. I can’t force her to want me.”
“Well then let’s see if I can take your mind off her for the rest of the night.” Subject changed, she climbed on top of me and set about to doing just that.
The following week, I walked into The Palisades and spotted Tanner and Meredith at the pool table in the back. He had her bent over the table lining up her shot. I wasn’t sure that was the only thing he was lining up at that moment, and I didn’t want to know.
I signaled the bartender for a beer and with my drink in hand joined them.
“What’s up, bro?” Tanner asked in between shots.
“Nothing. I was on later shifts this week for some stupid mandatory shift rotation they want to try out. Figured I’d come out and celebrate my freedom. Enjoy some drinks.”
Meredith took a shot and missed, not even caring about how poorly she was doing. When Tanner went to take his turn, she came over and stood in front of me with her hands on her hips.
“Soooo... Cassandra tells me good things.” Meredith winked at me.
“She’s a nice girl.” I tipped back my bottle not wanting to talk to her about this.
“I take it you’re glad I sent her your way?” She propped her arm on my shoulder in a smug gesture, leaning into me and crossing her legs at the ankle.
“For all your unnecessary meddling, yes it was refreshing.” I hated conceding that she was right, and I needed to see what else was out there. Even if that something wasn’t Cassandra.
“Odd statement,” she murmured thoughtfully.
“What’s this we’re talking about?” Tanner joined us having sunk the rest of the balls.
“Ben and my friend Cassandra did it when he took her out to dinner the other night.” She was such a cheeky bitch.
“Nice, bro.” Tanner offered me a fist bump that I reluctantly returned.
“I wasn’t too surprised when she told me that you guys talked about Clarissa, considering Clarissa was asking me questions about you earlier that night. Why were you out with Cassandra? Why would I think that would be a good idea? Blah, blah, blah.
“Which is why I’m telling you Clarissa also confided in me that things aren’t going well with douche bag. Other than the first few days he was with her, apparently he’s been an ass. He hasn’t been home a lot. Hasn’t slept with her if you know what I mean. I wasn’t sure before but I am now. She totally likes you too and she could stand to get away from ass face.”
I was completely caught off guard by this information. I knew Rissa and I could have something great, but she didn’t want it. Now that I was trying to move on, Meredith was going to throw this game changer at me? I didn’t know what to think about any of it.
“She’s still with him though, Mer. I’m not that guy. When a girl chooses another man over me, I’m not one to sit around and wait even though I might have the urge to. I have more self-respect than that,” I argued.
She straightened from her slouch and turned to face off with me. “She thinks she makes bad decisions and that you have trouble written all over you.
I
think she’s projecting onto you instead of Scott, but I’m no psychologist. Anyway, I’m telling you that you have a chance.”
“What are you going to do about it?” Tanner asked me. Was he not listening to the conversation?
“There’s nothing I can do about it. She’s with Scott. I’m not going to pursue her when she’s with someone else,” I said with irritation. I was tired of this conversation. Facts were facts and I was done going around in circles on this.
“Sure there is. You want her? Then you need to go after her. If you don’t then you’re nothing but a bitch,” Tanner argued.
“And a bit of a loser,” Meredith added.
“She doesn’t want me.” If she did then she wouldn’t have gone back with Scott or ignored me the last two weeks.
Meredith gave me an encouraging grin. “She’s just scared of you.”
“What is there to be scared of?” I held my hands up defensively. “I’m not a serial killer. I don’t have weird fetishes. I hold down a decent job and I’m a nice guy.”
“You may be a nice guy, but you’re a hot one and she’s only ever been with good looking assholes. I think she’s afraid to believe that things could go differently with you so she’s sticking to what she’s used to. Better the devil you know than the one you don’t.”
“Man up, bro,” Tanner interjected.
I shook my head and tried to arrange my thoughts. I hadn’t really expected to have this conversation.
Coming up with only one plausible option to what he was telling me to do, I said, “So what you’re saying is I should stalk her. Pursue her against her will. And impose myself on her.”
“Basically,” Tanner said with a shrug.
“In all seriousness, do you want her?” Meredith asked.
“Yes.”
“Then fucking go after her. Show her you’re here to stay and that you aren’t a douche like the guys she normally deals with.”
“Take control, dude. Claim her. I’m telling you that shit works.”
“It’s hot,” Meredith concurred even though she batted Tanner’s arm away when he tried to put it around her chest and pull her closer to prove his point about claiming.
“Fine, but if I end up with a restraining order, I’m going to kill you both.”
*****
Meredith turned out to be a good ally when it came to wooing her cousin. We spent the rest of the night eating pizza and drinking beer as she gave me tons of little tidbits about Rissa.
I felt a little bad learning things about her that I would have rather discovered while we were getting to know each other, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
When Clarissa continued to ignore my text messages the next day, I figured there was no better time than the present to up my game and put Tanner’s advice to the test.
My plan was to start slow. I didn’t want to lay it on too thick right off the bat.
The first day I pulled the truck up to her new sporty Audi in the parking lot at work and gave her a low fat, soy mocha latte. Leaving her with a smile and a wink, Ed and I drove off while she stood there dumbfounded.
Every weekday thereafter I gave her a coffee but alternated it with some other type of pastry—a croissant, a muffin, a donut—whatever kind of goodie I could get that I knew she liked. Turned out my girl had a sweet tooth like me.
On one of the paths that was part of our daily patrol, there was a place where a mess of wildflowers were blooming. One day I stopped and picked a small bouquet of daisies for her and before she got out of work, I left them on the seat of her convertible.
Every day she thanked me and gave me a smile that got my day going, but I could see the guilt and remorse building in her eyes as the days turned to weeks. Knowing she felt bad about leaving me hanging made it a little easier to stomach her rejection when she chose Scott over me. Especially after I caught her eye fucking me in a tight t-shirt and camouflage pants while I jogged across the street from our post with her coffee one morning.
When I made it over to her, her eyes were burning, and she was flushed and practically panting. The body never lies, which meant she still wanted me.
All the while I still sent her text messages. Some were funny. Some were endearing. All of them were from my heart, something I hope she appreciated.
I knew my persistence was finally paying off when she came into the sandwich shop nearly three weeks after I started wooing her.
“Is this seat taken?” she asked much the same way she did the first time we ate together.
“No.” I stood up and pulled the chair out for her. When she sat, I pushed her chair in as well. Chivalry most certainly was not dead, especially when I was playing for keeps.
We ate in a partially strained silence for quite a while. There were so many things I wanted to ask her. To say to her. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I risked alienating her if I pushed too hard. The safest route was waiting for her to bring up the two giant elephants in the room—her defection and Scott.
Thankfully Ed made himself scarce when he realized Rissa was sitting at the table with me. I was going to owe him for hooking me up like that, especially since he had to order another lunch for himself when the one I got him sat untouched next to me on the table.
Setting her fork down on her tray, Rissa’s eyes stayed downcast towards her lap when she finally spoke. “I’m really sorry about what happened in New York.”
“What part are you sorry for?” I really hoped she didn’t say the part where I made her come. That had been the best part of the whole evening. At least for me it was. Not only did I get to see her fall apart for me, but for those brief few moments, I knew she felt our connection too.
“Leaving the way I did. I should have talked to you first.”
“Yes. You should have.”
“It’s just... I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
“How could you possibly have done that? You leaving without saying goodbye is what hurt. And you discounting my feelings hurt.”
“I know and I’m so sorry.” She finally raised her eyes, and I could see the sincerity swimming in them. “But you were right. We shouldn’t have been going at it in the bathroom like a bunch of randy teenagers. We’re better off as friends.”
“I stopped when I did because I wanted more than one night with you. Anyone can jump into something by screwing each other up against the wall. I wanted to take my time with you. To worship you and show you how special you are. How much you’ve come to mean to me.” I reached across the table and took her hand in mine. When she tried pulling away, I tightened my hold and stroked her fingers. Just that small amount of contact settled my soul. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized how untethered I felt without some sort of connection to her.
When the hell had that happened?
“I’m back with Scott. None of that will ever happen.”
Her argument was weak at best, but at least we were finally talking about douche bag Scott.
“Why?”
“Why what?” She blinked at me with a bemused expression on her face.
“Why are you with him? I thought you were sick of coming second.”
“It’s different this time.” With a hard pull, she managed to free her hand from mine.
“Is it?”
“Yes,” she said indignantly.
“Rissa?”
I turned to look at the blonde woman standing at the side of our table.
“Abigail!” Rissa jumped up and embraced the woman, rocking her back and forth. Pulling back she held her friend at arm’s length and looked her over, causing my eyes to do the same.
She was petite and athletic. Her blonde hair flowing down her back reminded me of Rapunzel, and her skin was golden from the sun. She was pretty but she didn’t hold a candle to the redheaded beauty in front of her.
“You look amazing,” Rissa told her.
“So do you. We so need to catch up. It’s been too damn long.”
“We totally do.”
“Who’s your friend?” the girl asked gesturing towards me.
“Sorry, I’m being rude. Ben, this is my good friend Abigail. Ben is brothers with one of Meredith’s exes.”
“Hi, Ben.” Her lashes fluttered as she extended her hand towards me.
“Hi.” I stood up and shook her hand. “I have to get back to work. Please. Take my seat and catch up.”
“Oh thank you,” she tittered.
“My pleasure. Rissa.” I leaned over and placed a kiss to her cheek and whispered in her ear, “We’ll finish this conversation later.”
Walking out into the sunshine, I pulled my sunglasses from where they hung off my shirt pocket. Ed stood against the side of the truck waiting for me.
“How’d it go?” he asked once we were inside the cab. I started the engine and reversed out of the parking spot.
“It went.” I gave him a look that expressed how frustrated I felt at Rissa and my lack of finishing our conversation.
“So what’s next?”
“Damn if I know.”
*****
When my phone rang late that night, I was shocked as shit to see Rissa’s name on the screen. Swiping it with my finger, I took a deep breath and brought the phone to my ear. “Hello.”
“You’re awake.” She sounded taken aback like she hadn’t expected me to answer.
Glancing at the clock, I let out a little chuckle. “Sweetheart, it’s only eleven o’clock.”
“But you said you run at oh dawn thirty. I thought you’d go to bed early like an old man,” she teased, and I had to admit it felt damn good to be talking to her again. I missed our banter.
“Sorry to disappoint you.”
Silence descended between us and I wondered why she called if she wasn’t going to talk. Not that I was complaining that she wanted to talk to me... or rather listen to me breathe.
I wanted to ask her where Scott was and if he knew she was on the phone with me. If she were my girl, there’s no way I would let her be on the phone with another man like this. Then again, if she were my girl, it would be a nonissue because we’d be having hot, sweaty sex right then and another man would be the furthest thing from her mind.
Instead of asking the question I really wanted, I cleared my throat and asked, “What’s up?”
“Nothing. I’m just watching some old episodes of
Friends
before I go to sleep.”