Making Choices (Black Shamrocks MC Book 2) (8 page)

Her face turns red, her lips press into a thin line, and she balls her fists at her sides. Standing on her tiptoes, she leans over me as I sit, ready to unleash her rage at my unsubtle jab about her father.

It appears JJ has a temper to match her glorious red hair.

This could be fun. I love feisty, straight-talking women.

Ruby-red lips part, and I can tell she is about to rip into me when the door to Joel’s room swings open, interrupting her. I reach my hand inside my cut on pure instinct, wrapping my hand around the butt of my handgun. I let it go quickly when I grasp that it’s Maddi, and she’s close to tears.

“Oh, Timber. I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” she exclaims as she rushes past JJ and into my arms. I open them automatically, and the beautiful woman I love with all of my heart—the woman I’m in love with but will never have—collapses onto my lap.

I hold her to me, noting her shaking body and quivering bottom lip.

“Princess, what’s wrong?” I question her. Madelaine, or Maddi as she’s known to almost everyone, is Beast’s only daughter and Joel’s big sister. She’s a tough, gracious woman who’s survived some serious shit over the years. Shit that’s just decided to rear its ugly head again.

Raising her head, she brushes her long blonde hair out of her face, looking at JJ and then at me inquiringly. She doesn’t answer my question.

My girl wants to talk privately by the looks of it.

“Princess, this is JJ. She was Joel’s surgeon, remember? JJ, this is Maddi, Joel’s big sister.” I perform the necessary introductions, my argument with JJ forgotten now that Maddi needs me.

“Hi, JJ. Nice to meet you. Timber says you’ve been taking excellent care of Joel for us. I know you’ve been keeping Timber here company as well while he keeps my brother safe. Thank you so much.” Maddi pushes aside her upset to thank JJ and to get to know her for my sake.

It’s typical of her to put her own needs after everyone else’s.

I squeeze her waist in thanks.

After Mad Dog and Benji’s punch-up yesterday, I’d told her what happened between JJ and me, and she’d encouraged me to chase her if I liked her. 

JJ, on the other hand, looks like she swallowed a mouthful of lemon juice. She sniffs at Maddi. “It’s nothing. Just doing my job.”

Dismissing Maddi, she turns her pissed-off eyes to me. “I’ll leave you two alone. I have rounds to complete. Have a great day,
Lucas
.”

Without so much as another glance my way, JJ leaves the room, shutting the door with a bang behind her.

“She likes you, and she’s jealous. She thinks we’re together, you big lug. You need to set her straight,” Maddi tells me off once the echoing from the slamming door subsides.

Slapping my chest, she leans back into my arms, falling silent.

I don’t answer her straightaway, instead spending a minute or so drinking in the sight of her in my arms, and enjoying the feel of her body against mine. 

Her hair is golden blonde. It falls to her curvy ass, setting off electric blue eyes and a face that could make an angel cry. She’s tall, with a luscious rack that’s balanced out perfectly by hips you could hold tight as you slammed yourself balls deep into her, and long tanned legs.

I’ve wanted her since she was sixteen, and I would have pursued her except my lifelong best friend, Mad Dog, has loved her for just as long, and she’s head over heels for him, not me.

I’ll only ever be her best friend, which is a mantle I only took when Mad Dog vacated it when he made her his woman.

My feelings for her are my closest-held secret. A secret I’ll take to my grave.
I hope.

Finally pulling my eyes away from her, I notice that she’s staring at me, close to tears again.

“What’s wrong, Princess?” I ask.

Her rose-pink bottom lip trembles as she answers. “Mik isn’t speaking to me. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think we’re going to get through what happened this time. Not with Dad stirring trouble, and Brendan still out there.”

I’d be lying to myself if I said my heart didn’t jump with joy at her words. I could turn this situation in my favor quite easily, but my conscience wouldn’t shut the fuck up if I did.

Mad Dog and Maddi are perfect for each other, and as much as I want her, I won’t take her using underhanded tactics. If they split on their own terms, then she becomes fair game, but not until then. 

“He’s just pissed at what went down with Benji. He’ll get over it. You two’ll be all right. I promise. And don’t you worry about Beast. Mad Dog and I’ll deal with him.”

The words taste like acid on their way out of my mouth, but they’re the truth so I force myself to say them.

Pulling her tighter into my chest, I rock her until the silent tears stop. 

Once she has herself under control, she moves from my lap into the chair next me.

My arms feel empty without her.

“So,
Lucas
, what’s the deal with you and the beautiful doctor?” she pries with a big grin.

The grin is fake—her way of letting me know she doesn’t want to talk about her problems anymore.

“I told you. We fucked, and then we argued.” She nods. “Well, we finally spoke about it just before you arrived. She says we can’t see where it will go because her fucking daddy won’t approve.”

I stress the word “daddy” and Maddi wrinkles her nose. She’s only twenty-three, but even she doesn’t call Beast “daddy” anymore. She stopped that shit when she was about twelve, like a normal girl.

“She really said that?”

“Yep.”

“That sucks. You two looked really good together when I barged in. Although, I did think she was about to hit you, so you should be thanking me, since I saved you from a beating.” She sticks out her tongue at me when I roll my eyes at her. It’s Maddi’s signature response to all of us, but she dislikes being on the receiving end of it. “In all seriousness, I’m so sorry that I interrupted. I didn’t know who else to turn to. I hope you two work it out.”

I shrug off her apology, telling her with heat, “I don’t care what I’m doing, or where I am. If you need me, you come to me. You hear?”

“I hear ya, Timber.”

“Good. Don’t ever forget it.”

Our conversation is brought to an end when Beast, Mad Dog, and the rest of Maddi’s brothers arrive. Their noisy conversations fill the room, but I don’t engage with them, choosing to sit in my chair and mull over my argument with JJ and Maddi’s thoughts about it.

I’m at a loss. I don’t have a clue what to do with JJ.

It’s been a few days, but I already know that I like her. And when we’re not arguing, we get along pretty well. She’s beautiful—in a less obvious way to Maddi—but definitely beautiful in her own right. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her since we fucked, and that’s unusual for me.

For the last few years, I haven’t been able to see any woman other than Maddi.

Is a woman whose hell bent on running from whatever’s starting between us worth chasing after? And is it fair to pursue her when I’d jump at a chance with Maddi, if she and Mad Dog do end up breaking up?

JJ

Present Day

A
fter reading Lucas’s curt reply to my text, I burst into tears.

I’m not normally a crier, but this entire night has thrown one bullshit thing after the other at me.
His refusal to come over is the final straw.

Wiping away my tears, I push my phone away from me and harness my growing anger toward every man who’s thrown shit my way today. First Ollie and his lies; then my father and his bullying; and finally Lucas and his ultimatum.

Each one of them is trying to make me do what they want me to do, and it’s not fair.

I feel like a five-year-old child for whining that it’s not fair, but I’m just about ready to stamp my feet and tell them all to go fuck themselves.

Except I won’t.

I’ve never been able to stand up for myself with anyone who matters, although I do a better job with Lucas than I do with anyone else.

Why I feel comfortable to tell him how I feel, I don’t know. But I do, and that’s a positive change.

Damn Lucas.

I’ve never been drawn to a man like him, and I don’t like it. He makes me spin out of control, makes me rethink the strict path I’ve kept my life headed along, and worst of all, he makes me question my need to make my parents happy—especially my father.

Months ago, he told me that this is my life and that I need to do what makes me happy—that I’m in charge of my own life. That was the first time anyone had ever said anything like that to me. Everyone I know is as consumed by their career and what’s expected from them as I am. We’re all chasing big dreams, some of us doing so at the expense of our own happiness.

The only people I know who do as they please and seem to be happy, are Lucas and the members of his Club—most of whom I’ve met over the last six months.

Actually, scratch that; most of his Club seem to be happy doing as they please. Lucas, on the other hand, isn’t completely happy. He can tell me that I don’t know what I’m talking about, but I’ve watched him with Maddi over these past months, and I’ve seen him tying himself in knots. He’s caught between his growing feelings for me and his desire to chase after Maddi regardless of what it does to his relationship with Mad Dog.  

For the second time tonight, I bang my head against my dining table.

I’ve just admitted to myself what I’ve been trying my hardest to avoid.

Lucas has feelings for me.

I’ve known the whole time that he does—it’s just been easier to concentrate on his feelings for Maddi. To use that as an excuse to shoot down his constant suggestions to see where this thing between us could go.

By denying him, using my flimsy justifications, I can avoid confronting my father.

It’s my version of having my cake and eating it too.

The tinkling of smashing glass interrupts my lovelorn thoughts.

Jumping to my feet, I grab my phone and switch on the flashlight.

I’ve been licking my wounds for so long that my house is dark, the only light being thrown by the TV in the living room.

I live in a nice area. It’s affluent with next to no crime, so the sound was probably nothing more than someone in one of the neighboring townhouses breaking something. Our houses are close enough that I can hear my over-sexed, middle-aged neighbor jerking himself off in the shower most mornings. An involuntary shudder races through me when I think about the performance he put on this morning.

When the sound of my back door being opened breaks the silence that followed the breaking glass, I dial emergency services on my phone. I might be going crazy, but it sounds like someone’s trying to get into my comfy, cozy house.

“Police. Fire. Ambulance.”

“Police. Quickly,” I whisper into my phone as I dart toward my bedroom.

My plan is to lock myself in my ensuite until help arrives.

It’s foiled when I see a large, dark figure entering my bedroom as I’m turning the corner from my dining area into my short hallway. I’m barefoot, so I don’t think they heard me approaching through the padding offered by my lush carpet.

My heart pounds in my chest as I listen with one ear for the intruder to start heading my way.

I don’t hear a thing, thankfully.

Deciding on a new course of action, I start backing away.

A high-pitched shriek leaves me when I hit a broad, warm chest.

“I’d stop right there, little lady.” Warm breath blows over my head as a rough voice menaces me. I’m about to lower my phone from my ear when the operator speaks.

“State your emergency?”

A hard, cylindrical object is pushed against my kidneys, making me freeze.

Is that a gun?

“Tell them it’s a mistake.”

I shake my head, and they prod me harder in the back.

“Do it, bitch. Right fucking now.”

My legs are shaking as is the hand holding my phone. My mind’s gone blank, and I can’t think of anything I can do to help myself in this situation. I’ve never had a physical altercation in my life. The most danger I’ve ever faced has been at the end of my father’s sharp tongue and his leather belt, and that wasn’t adequate preparation for circumstances like this. 

“Ma’am. Please state your emergency,” the operator asks again.

Licking my dry lips, and with the stark reminder of my situation pressed against my back, I find the ability to answer. “I’m sorry, it’s, um, nothing. I thought I heard something, but it was nothing.”

“Ma’am, are you all right? You sound scared.”

“I’m fine. I just scared myself. Bye, now.” I hang up the phone, but keep holding it to my ear as if its mere presence is going to keep me safe from what’s about to happen.

My phone’s ripped from my hand and thrown on the floor before the intruder stomps it with a heavy boot. The crunching sound as its obliterated draws the second intruder out of my bedroom, his covered face pointed toward us.

“That her?”

The person behind me swings me around to face them, grabbing my chin with force. The gloves he’s wearing soften his harsh grip just enough to make it bearable. His face is covered like the other man’s. All I can see is his nose and angry brown eyes.