Maid to Love (Man Maid Book 3) (6 page)

Feeling Jess’s hand cover hers, Courtney looked up to find the women staring at her expectantly. Knowing she’d been lost in her own thoughts, she said, “I’m sorry. What?”

Smiling Jess said, “I guess it’s obvious that he’s struggling over losing you as a friend as much as you’ve been struggling. We just keep hoping one of you will extend a peace offering. That’s what all this was about. We weren’t trying to upset you. And we’re not here to pry, but from where we sit we see two friends hurting. He’s losing fights because of it, and you’re unable to pay attention to anything.
Even chocolate.
”

Looking down at her hand, which still held the half-eaten cupcake, brought Courtney’s thoughts back to the small downtown restaurant where she had eaten Ian’s food for the first time. Unlike that occasion, though, every bite of the delicious treat was an assault on her senses. The sweetness reminded her that even though she wasn’t like other women and would never be able to handle a normal relationship with someone—man or woman—she did, in fact, miss her friend. She nearly choked on her emotions as she attempted to swallow the bite of cupcake with the help of the strongest coffee she’d ever tasted.

Soon enough, Kayla and Tori stood up to leave since they had ridden over together. They each hugged Rusty goodbye, and he thanked them for coming. Seeing their departure as an opportunity to leave before Ian showed up, she realized just how much she missed him.

“I have a class tomorrow that I need to prepare for so I should go, too,” she said, holding her hand out to Rusty to ensure he knew she was not about to hug him like Kayla and Tori had.

Rusty simply smiled at her, as though he recognized her attempt to keep him at bay, and shook her offered hand. Her trip back home was done on autopilot. She couldn’t tear her mind away from memories of Ian’s eyes, his perfect smile and teeth, his ability to make her feel at ease—even his talent for making her laugh. She did in fact miss the company and friendship of a man. But Ian wasn’t just any man. He was a contradiction if there ever was one.

After she made it home, she prepared for the next day’s class. Then she got ready for bed and lay down. For the first time in more than a month her mind didn’t immediately drift to what her child might have looked like, all the cute things she’d never gotten to witness as he grew up, or what the world might have lost in the person he would have become. Instead, her mind went to Ian. Why was he losing fights and ditching workouts with his army buddies?

Just as she was about to drift off to sleep her phone rang. She turned on the lamp next to her bed and answered.

“Seriously?” Ian’s voice filtered through the line.

“Excuse me?” she asked in response to his unexpected laughter.

“No, I will
not
excuse you. I mean all of them? Seriously?”

Confusion set in. “What are you talking about?”

“My damn cupcakes, woman!” He laughed again. “I didn’t even get one! The worst part is they were a special gift from a customer, so it’s not like I can get more. I mean seriously, Mrs. Wells?”

She could not keep the smile off her face at his teasing. It was so good to hear his voice after all this time. Her mouth opened to respond, but all that escaped was a giggle. The unladylike snort that followed only made her laugh harder.

He soon joined her before choking out, “Were they good at least?”

“Phenomenal.” She giggled. “I’m sorry. I’ll buy you some.”

“No, you’re not sorry. And I don’t want one
now
,” he replied, trying to sound put out but failing due to his own laughter.

“Fine. Something else then?”

“Come to my fight tomorrow night. You can ride with Seth and Tori or Kayla and Ronnie,” he replied with one last chuckle. “Don’t even think of saying no. Those cupcakes were made special just for me! Besides, I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“It has been a long time.” She sighed wistfully and then laughed. “So fine…I’ll be there. And for the record, they were the best things I’ve ever tasted. Absolutely delicious.”

Upon hearing the silence indicating that he had disconnected, she laughed at his teasing hang-up. That’s what she got for rubbing in just how good those cupcakes had been. After putting the phone back, she snuggled down into her pillow. She was now wearing a smile that felt wonderful after weeks of nothing but tears. Only Ian managed to push through her reservations. She fell asleep quickly compared to most nights and awoke refreshed.

  * * *

 The next evening found her following Seth and Tori toward a curtained and roped-off area where fighters prepared for their matches. Her stomach was in knots about seeing Ian again after nearly two months of no contact at all. She had truly expected that he would never speak to her again, but his late-night phone call seemed to have erased the weeks of emptiness and distance between them…at least for her. They would eventually have to talk about what she had said to him. She needed to apologize and explain. But right now it just felt good to see him once more.

As they approached Ian, who sat in a metal chair, he turned and the sight of his face stopped her midstep. She had grown used to his smoke-filled or icy eyes, his ornery grin and perfect teeth, but she was unprepared for the battered face that looked at her. A dark bruise over one eye was accompanied by a matching bruise on the opposite cheek and a split lip. No wonder Rusty Hawkins had come asking her for help. He was right. Ian shouldn’t be fighting, especially not in the condition he was in at the moment.

The next thing she knew she was standing right in front of him. She touched his cheek. “Oh God, Ian…what happened to you?” He only stared at her while she inspected his bruises and the painful-looking cut on his lower lip.

“You cannot fight tonight, Ian. How can you even see right now?” she admonished, gently placing one finger on the bruise covering his eyelid. His mouth parted slightly as his eyes closed. When he still didn’t respond she said, “Did you hear me, Ian? You can’t fight tonight. Your face can’t take losing another match.”

“Maybe I won’t lose this one,” he whispered.

Only then did she realize that she stood between his powerful thighs, and one of his giant hands rested on her waist. Instead of panic and an overwhelming need to get away from him, something warm settled in her stomach. She was touching him…and he was touching her in return. A tingly sensation started in her fingers, which were still resting on his warm face, and crawled up her arm.

Her concern over the cut on his lip disappeared, replaced by a mental picture of her…pressing her lips to his.

What would it be like to kiss him?

Since she was unable to get the image out of her head, she forced it to the back of her mind before she quietly said, “You have no way to know if you’ll win or not. You really shouldn’t fight tonight. Please don’t, Ian.”

“What if I promise to win?” he asked softly.

“You can promise all you want but… what if you don’t?” she replied.

“If I do win…you have to buy me ice cream afterward. If I don’t win, then I will stop fighting until you say I can get back in the ring.” He smiled as his eyes finally opened. The smoke was back in the depths of his gaze. “I can’t cancel this fight. I’m on thin ice with this circuit as it is, but I promise you I’ll win…if you’ll give me ice cream in return.”

“How can you be sure you’ll win?”

She could have sworn she heard him say, “Because you’re here.”

He stood up slowly but she didn’t step back. Instead she rested her hand against his massive chest—but not to push him away.

She couldn’t get enough of his smoke-filled eyes. With their gazes locked, his hand remained on her waist—but it didn’t bother her. She couldn’t look away from him. He was
handsome
…even with the bruises.

“I’ll give you anything I have to give. Just don’t take any more punishment. Please.”

“A kiss?” he asked with his lopsided smile and mischief shining in his eyes.

Releasing him, she quickly stepped back. That’s when she realized everyone had left and she was alone with Ian. She looked back at him just in time to watch the smoke leave his eyes and the ice return.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed. Forget I said that. I am just…sorry.”

Swallowing the decades-old fear that began to creep in, she said, “Ice cream is all I can give. I won’t do…
kissing
.”

She somehow knew that unlike the men in her nightmare memories, which sometimes woke her in a cold sweat, this giant of a man wouldn’t force himself on anyone. What she didn’t expect was the slow smile that spread across his mouth. “I see how it is. You take whatever you want from me—pub fries, cupcakes,
whatever
. I give it up because that’s just the kind of guy I am, but what I want doesn’t matter.”

His smile increased the tingling in her belly, and she was unable to look away. He was
flirting
with her. Other men had trifled with her over the years, but she’d always managed to put an end to their attempts rather quickly, usually by getting away from them as fast as possible. Looking at Ian now, she realized she didn’t want to escape him. She wanted to give back as good as she got. She grinned in response and a whispered laugh escaped her.

“Unfortunately life is full of disappointment, Ian, but…how does it feel to want?” she asked in an attempt to flirt back before turning and walking away to find the rest of the group.

Flirting was so new. She kind of liked it, though. But only with Ian.

Chapter Six

The feel of Courtney’s hands on his face told him that as much as he had tried to convince himself otherwise…he liked her as more than just a friend.

He shouldn’t have such feelings about her considering everything she’d been through, but he did. Having her invade his personal space had brought those feelings to a whole new level. All he could think about was holding her tight, telling her that even though they didn’t know each other that well he had
missed her
…and that he wanted her. Desperately. She was in no way ready for his emotional confessions, though, so he kept them to himself.
For now.

He didn’t have Ronnie’s looks or Seth’s moves or even Rusty’s way with women. Those qualities in his friends had never been something he was jealous of…until now. Knowing enough about Courtney’s issues to realize that pursuing her would be an uphill climb the whole way made him wish he had Ronnie’s looks, Seth’s confidence and Rusty’s command over the female species. He certainly could use any help he could get, because without those things he felt doomed to fail.

But she had flirted back.

Jess’s words about how Ian might be the one to convince Courtney that she did, in fact, like men only made his anxiety grow. His thoughts were a mess as he made his way to the ring. What if he did something wrong and never had a chance to kiss her? If he didn’t pull his head together he’d lose this match, too, and blow any possibility of spending time with her…period. Forcing his attention to the match ahead he stepped through the curtain divider.

He immediately picked her out of the crowd. He had missed the hell out of her. The past two months had been more brutal than anything he’d ever experienced. He kept waiting for his heart to get better, but it never did. As bad as losing the baby had been, her pushing him away had been a pain unlike anything he’d ever felt.

But she was here now—back in his life—and he would do whatever it took to keep her there. As friends…and maybe more, eventually.

Because he’d lost more matches over the past few weeks than he wanted to remember, his opponent believed that he actually stood a chance. Ian felt bad about that, but knowing midway through the second round that he’d be spending time with Courtney felt great. For the first time since he’d started this whole amateur fighting adventure, he didn’t want to hang around and wait to be recognized for his win. He wanted to grab Courtney’s hand and go somewhere. Instead he headed back through the roped off area and behind the curtains.

He had just sat down to towel off when he saw Jess headed toward him.

“That’s a little more like it, Buttercup. Did you finally get tired of letting the other little boys have their way with you?”

“Did you ever think that maybe I like it when they’re mean to me?” he asked with a grin.

“You’re a sick man, and I’m going to tell,” Jess replied in a childlike tone and then stuck her tongue out at him. “You up for another one next weekend or was tonight’s win a fluke?”

“Yeah, sure, why not?” he replied as he watched Ronnie make his way over.

“We have to head out, man. Something is going on with Zach. Addie called Tori and she and Seth just took off in a panic. Good to see you win this time,” Ronnie said to Ian. Then looking at Jess he said, “Can you run Courtney home? She rode with Tori and Seth.”

“No problem,” Jess replied. “Go on—and someone let me know that the little guy is okay?”

When Ronnie nodded and walked quickly toward the exit, Ian began to worry. Zach was his little workout buddy, and Ian had been blowing him off lately—the same as he had with the guys and Jess. As much as Ian wanted to spend time with Courtney, he owed it to Zach to be there. For moral support, if nothing else.

Turning back toward Jess, prepared to tell her that he would follow Ronnie to see what was going on with Zach, he came up short at seeing Courtney standing there instead. Jess was talking to one of the promoters over near the registration table.

“I hope Zach is okay and that it’s nothing serious. I guess Addie and Caleb took him to the children’s hospital. Were you going to go and see if they need anything?” Courtney asked. Ronnie’s stepdaughter and Seth’s brother had been watching Zach for the evening while Seth and Tori came to see Ian’s fight.

“Yeah, actually. I want to go by there and check on my little man,” he replied.

“Call me later and let me know how he is?”

“You want to go with me?” he blurted out before stopping to think. He immediately second-guessed his offer, wondering if the sight of all those sick children would be too much for her to handle.

She hesitated, but only for a split second. “Yes, I do want to go with you.”

“Here. Take your winnings with you and buy the little guy something noisy and cool,” Jess said, smacking the cash he’d won against his chest with the flat of her hand.

Stuffing the bills into a pocket of his shorts, Ian led Courtney out of the building to his car. The ride to the children’s hospital was quiet, but he felt Courtney looking at him from time to time. She had voluntarily sat in the front seat, so he hadn’t lost too much ground with her.

When they arrived at the hospital and asked about Zach they were told to have a seat in the waiting room. Finding Ronnie, Kayla, Addie and Caleb standing just inside the waiting area, he and Courtney joined them.

“What happened?” Ian asked Ronnie.

“They’re saying it’s his appendix. He’s already in the operating room,” Ronnie replied. “We are going to run Caleb back and then head home ourselves. Tori and Seth are in Zach’s room for when he’s out of surgery. He’ll be here for a few days afterward. You can go up to the room if you want.”

Ronnie handed Ian a piece of paper with a room number on it before saying goodbye. After they left, he and Courtney headed upstairs. Inside the room, Tori had her head buried in Seth’s arm for comfort. Tori looked up and gave him a half smile.

The shared room was split in half. On the far side sat a woman whose little boy had just received a shot from a nurse who was gathering up her things to leave and hardly even comforting the child. The boy’s mother was on the phone trying to find someone to sit at the hospital with the boy the following day, so she wouldn’t miss more work. It sounded like she couldn’t afford to take any more time off. He wasn’t sure who he felt worse for, the woman or the little boy.

“I’m sorry you had to get a shot,” Ian said in an effort to alleviate the boy’s anxiety and allow his mother to finish up her phone call. Then Ian shuddered dramatically to emphasize his dislike of shots.

“I was brave so now I get some Jell-O,” the boy replied with a teary smile. “Are you a boxer?”

Glancing down at himself, Ian realized he hadn’t changed after his fight or removed the wrap off his wrists. Knowing kids had an unusual ability for sniffing out the truth he said, “Yeah, sort of. I wouldn’t want to fight you, though.”

The boy giggled and said, “Why not? Your muscles are huge!”

“Yeah, but you took that shot like it was nothing. That makes you pretty tough in my book. It’s not all about the muscles. It’s about being tough,” he said, as the boy’s mother finished up her phone call. “I bet you could take me in an arm wrestling match.”

“No way! You’d win for sure,” the boy said with conviction and a smile.

“Want to bet on that?”

“I don’t have any money.” The boy giggled.

“See if your mom can spot you a few bucks,” Ian said.

Seeing that her son was being effectively sidetracked from his earlier tears, the woman dug around in her purse, produced a dollar and handed it to the little boy. When he put it on the tray that went across his lap, Ian felt around in his pocket for the money he’d won in the fight. It wasn’t much—a hundred-dollar bill and one twenty. Pulling the hundred out, he laid it down next to the boy’s dollar.

“That’s pretty steep odds there,” Ian said to the boy’s mother. “He’s not a professional or anything, right?”

Realizing that Ian was trying to help her out, the woman shook her head no to indicate she couldn’t accept the money, but before she could say anything more, he said, “Okay, good then. Pick an arm.”

“I’m a lefty.” The boy smiled proudly showing two missing top teeth and then put his left arm up on the tray. The boy’s mother looked away from them both in an attempt to hide the tears in her eyes.

“I shouldn’t have bet you. Southpaws are the toughest to beat,” Ian replied, putting his left arm on the tray, as well.

After a good five minutes and the best performance of his life, Ian finally conceded defeat to the boy. Making a show of how sore his arm was from arm wrestling, he said, “Half that money belongs to your mom, since it was her dollar to begin with.”

When the boy’s excitement over his big win died down Ian turned back to Tori and Seth and asked, “What can I do for you guys or for Zach?”

Looking over at the other little boy, who was beginning to doze off from whatever medicine had been in the shot, Tori said, “Zach will be out of it well into tomorrow, and it’s already so late. Go on home. Just visit him as often as you can, starting tomorrow evening.”

As Ian and Courtney left and headed toward his car he said, “I’m sorry. It’s really late, and I don’t think the ice cream place is still open. So it looks like you’re off the hook…this time.”

“Maybe I should stick with the raspberry tea anyway…like you suggested.” She smiled sadly.

“That stuff can’t still be good if you have any left,” he replied, after they were safely ensconced in his car.

“No it’s been gone for a good while now, but I’ll accept more of that in place of the ice cream.”

“I’ve got the stuff to make more at the house. I’d be happy to make you some or better yet show you how to make it for yourself,” he offered.

“I’d like that.” After several minutes of silence she continued, “You’re really good with kids.”

“They like me, especially boys, because of my size. I’m a big punching bag, jungle gym and tumbling mat all rolled into one oversize package,” he replied with a laugh, patting his muscled stomach as he directed the car toward her place. “Being a big dummy sometimes does serve a purpose.”

“You’re not a big dummy. In fact, I really think you should consider taking some courses at the college. If not for obstetrics and gynecology then maybe for something involving pediatrics.”

“Let’s be real. I barely made it through high school. College is just not something I can do, especially anything in the medical field. I mean, that’s like righteously hard, right?”

“What you did for that little boy back there and his mother—that’s where your heart is. That’s where you should be focused. Not on a cage match or cleaning Jess’s apartment.” A look passed over her face before she swallowed hard. “You’ll make a good dad someday.”

Some of the ridiculous notions he’d entertained when Courtney had been pregnant floated through his mind and without thinking he said, “You’ll make a great mom someday, too.”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen.” She sighed quietly.

“I swore to myself I wasn’t going to ruin things by saying something stupid, but that’s where the big dummy part comes in. I don’t learn from my mistakes very well. So here goes…I know the baby wasn’t mine, but after going to class with you and getting to know you, I had this stupid idea that maybe you’d learn to trust me and maybe…I don’t know…share the baby with me or something. I was really starting to get excited about the little guy after painting the nursery and everything and then all of a sudden he was just…gone.”

He could see her digging around in her purse. It was too dark to see her face, but he knew enough about her to realize that she was probably crying because of what he’d said. He hated making her cry, but if he couldn’t tell her his thoughts then if he ever did get to kiss her it wouldn’t mean as much anyways. In for a penny, in for a pound, as Mr. Yazzi used to say.

When she pulled out a packet of tissues he figured he’d blown it already and might as well have his say. “I know you were tired of hearing me talk about it, but I was just so shocked I didn’t know how to handle it…or how to help you. Then when you asked me to go home and stopped talking to me altogether I felt lost, like I was completely alone. I knew that I would just have to get over it on my own but every time I saw Jess, or even the guys, one of them would bring up you or the baby or both and it just made it that much harder. So I stopped showing up at the gym.”

He felt like a complete ass when she released a small sob. As much as it tore at him, he couldn’t seem to shut up. “Unfortunately, missing the gym hasn’t helped much, as my messed up face will attest. My brain keeps thinking of shit like what he might have looked like, the stuff that might have come out of his mouth when he was little or how he might have grown up to do something really great. I know that probably sounds stupid, and you probably don’t want to hear about it anyway, but the worst part has been that even though we haven’t been friends for that long…I’ve missed you.”

Pulling into her driveway, he expected her to get out of his car as quickly as possible and never speak to him again. Instead she wiped her eyes and tried to collect herself by looking out the passenger window. After a minute she finally said, “It’s almost like you looked inside my head and heart and said all the things I haven’t been able to…and I’m the one that’s supposed to be the therapist.”

Once again she began to cry. Against his better judgment, and Jess’s advice, he reached across the seat and put his arm around Courtney’s shoulders. Instead of tensing up or pulling away, she turned into his embrace and allowed him to hug her.

After a few minutes, she whispered, “I also think about what he would have been like, and
I miss him
. I am probably just missing the
idea
of him since I didn’t really know him but I do…is that weird?”

“No more than thinking a beautiful college professor would allow some strange man—a fighter, no less—to have an influence on her kid,” he replied quietly. She’d needed this as badly as he had. It felt so good to be here with her, holding her. If desires were granted to those who wanted something the most, then he wished to stay right here in this car…just like this. Forever.