Magic's Promise (6 page)

Vanyel shook his head and groaned.
“
It's not my fault!
”

Jaysen laughed.
“
I'd best be off before that trio wrecks my workroom. Did Savil tell you? I've been given the protégés
you'd
have gotten if you hadn't been in a combat zone. Count your blessings - one's a farmgirl who had
much
rather be a fighter than a Herald-Mage, thank you; one's a very bewildered young man who can't for a moment imagine why
he
was Chosen and as a result has no confidence whatsoever; and the third is an
overly
confident sharpster who's actually a convicted lawbreaker!
”

“
Convicted of what?
”
Vanyel asked, amused at the woebegone expression on Jaysen's face.

“
Chicanery and fraud. The old shell-and-pea game at Midsummer Fair; he was actually Chosen on the way to his sentencing, if you can believe it.
”

“
I can believe it. It's keeping you busy, anyway.
”

“
It is that. It's good to see you, Van.
”
Jaysen hesitated a moment, and then put one hand on his shoulder.
“
Vanyel-
”
He locked his pale, near-colorless blue eyes with Vanyel's, and Van saw disturbance there that made
him,
uneasy.
“
Take care of yourself, would you? We
need
you. I don't think you realize how much.
”

He slipped out the door before Vanyel could respond. Van stared after him with his mouth starting to fall open.

“
What in the name of sanity was
that
about?
”
he asked, perplexed, turning back to his aunt, who had not left the comfortable confines of her chair. She looked up at him measuringly.

“
Have you any notion how many Herald-Mages we've lost in the last four years?
”
she asked, her high - cheekboned face without any readable expression.

“
Two dozen?
”
he hazarded.

Now
she looked uneasy. Not much, but enough that he could tell.
“
Slightly more than half the total we had when you and I came back from k'Treva. We can't replace them fast enough. The Mage-Gift was never that common in the first place, and with a rate of attrition like that -
“
She grimaced.
“
I haven't told you about this before, because there was nothing you could do about it, but after the deaths of the last year, you should know the facts. You become more important with each loss, Van. You were the
only
one available to send to replace those five casualties on the Karsite Border. You were the only one who
could
replace all five of them, all by yourself. That's why we couldn't relieve you, lad, or even send you one other Herald-Mage to give you a breather. We simply didn't have anyone to send. Speaking of which -
“
She raised one eyebrow as she gave him such a penetrating look that Vanyel felt as if she was seeing past his clothes to count his ribs and mark each of his scars.
“
-
you
look like hell.
”

“
Can't
anyone
greet me without saying that?
”
he complained.
“
You, Tran, Jays - can't you tell me I'm looking seasoned? Or poetic? Or something?''

“
Horseturds; you don't look 'seasoned,' you look like hell. You're too damned thin, your eyes are sunken, and if my Othersenses aren't fooling me, you've got no reserves - you're on your last dregs of energy.
”

Vanyel sighed, and folded himself up at her feet, resting his back against the front of her chair and his head against her knee.
That
was
“
home,
”
and always would be - as Savil was more his mother than his birth-mother ever could be.
“
It's nothing,
”
he replied.
“
At least nothing a little sleep won't cure. Come on, you know how you feel at the end of a tour of duty. You're still
your
old tactful self, Savil.
”

“
Tact never was one of my strong traits, lad,
”
she replied, and he felt her hand touch, and then begin stroking his hair. He closed his eyes and relaxed; muscles began to unknot that must have been tensed up for the past year. For the first time in months there was no one depending on him, looking to him for safety. It was nice to feel sheltered and protected, instead of
being
the shelter and protection.
There are times when I'd give anything to be a child again, and this is perilous close to one of them.

“
I am mortally tired, Savil,
”
he admitted, finally.
“
I need this leave. It won't take long to rest up - but I do need the rest. You know, I didn't
ask
for this. I didn't
want
to be a Herald-Mage, I wanted to be a Bard. I sure as Havens didn't
ask
to be 'Vanyel Dragonsbreath,' or whatever it is they're calling me.
”

“
Demonsbane.
”

The increasingly shrill tone of his own voice finally penetrated his fog.
“
Savil, I - am I whining?
”

She chuckled throatily.
“
You're whining, son.
”

“
Hellfire,
”
he said.
“
I swear, every time I lose a little sleep, I turn fifteen. A
bratty
fifteen, at that. I'm amazed you put up with me.
”

“
Darling boy,
”
she said, her hand somehow stroking his headache away,
“
You've earned a little whine. You're thinned out in more ways than one.
”
She sighed.
“
That's the one thing I regret most about the past few years - you never do or say anything anymore without thinking about it. That's good for Herald-Mage Vanyel, but I'm not entirely certain about Vanyel Ashkevron.
”
There was a long silence behind him, then -
“
There's no joy in you anymore,
ke'chara.
No joy at all. And that bothers me more than the circled eyes and thin cheeks.
”

“
We've all endured too much the last five years to be able to afford to do things without thinking. As for joy - is there joy anywhere, anymore? We've all lost so much - so many friends gone -
“

Another long silence.
“
I don't know.
”

He cleared his throat, and changed the subject.
“
I didn't feel a third here. You aren't teaching?
”

“
Can't; don't have the stamina anymore. Not and be Guardian, too.
”

He'd half expected that. And he half expected what quarter.
“
So they made you Guardian? In whose place?
”

“
Lancir's. Shavri can't; she tried, and she can't. The four Guardians
have
to be Herald-Mages. We'd hoped Healing-Gift was close enough, but she didn't pass the last trial. I think she's relieved. It's a pity; the Guardian of the East has always been King's Own, but -
“

“
In that case, the present I brought you may be handy.
”
He shifted so that he could get at his pocket, and pulled out the crystal. He closed his hand around it, feeling all the smooth planes and angles pressing into his palm.
“
Don't you need a Prime Focus stone of your own to set in the Web? I thought you didn't have a good Prime to use for anything but personal stuff.''

“
You do, and I put a stone there, but it was a Secondary Focus, an amethyst, and not what I'd have-
”

He raised the hand holding the crystal above his head, parting his fingers so she could see it, but not opening his eyes or moving his head.

“
Sunsinger's Glory!
”
she breathed.
“
Where did you find that?
”

“
Gifted me,
”
he said, as the weight left his hand.
“
People keep
giving
me things, Savil. An opal or amber I could have used - still -
you
can use it, so do.
”

“
I shall.
”
Her hand began to stroke his hair again, and he heard the little
click
as she set the stone down on the table beside her.
“
That will make my job a bit easier.
”
She chuckled richly.
“
I thought I was so lucky when it turned out my resonances worked best with rose-quartz-not like Deedre who was stuck with topaz, or Justen, with ruby. Nice, cheap stone, I thought. Won't have to go bankrupt trying to get a good one. Little did I know how hard it was to find a good, unflawed,
large
crystal!
”

“
Little did you know you were going to turn out a Guardian,
”
he replied drowsily.

“
Hmm, true.
”
Her mind touched softly on his.
Vanyel,
ke'chara,
you are
not
well. There's more silver in this lovely black hair.:

He couldn't lie mind-to-mind, not to her, so he temporized.
:The silver's from working with the nodes; you should know that. As for the rest
-
I'm just weary, teacher - love. Just weary. Too many hours fighting too many battles, and all of it too much alone.:

:Heart - wounded?:
Her Mindvoice was etched and frosted with concern.

:No, heart - whole. Just lonely. Only that. You know. I haven't time these days to go courting a friend. Not on battle - lines. And I
won't
ask for more than friendship
-
 
gods, how could I ask anyone to make an emotional commitment to somebody who's out trying daily to get himself killed? I'm better off alone.:

The hand on his hair trembled a little, and rested.

:I
know,:
she replied, finally.
 
:There are times when I wish with all my heart I could take some of that from you.:

:Now, now, don't encourage me in my self-pity. Honestly, you and 'Fandes-: “
If wishes were fishes, we'd walk on the sea, teacher - love,
”
he said aloud.
“
I'd rather you could keep Father and Mother off when I'm home.
”
“
So you're finally making that major visit they've been plaguing you for?
”
She took the unspoken cue and switched to less - intimate vocal speech.

“
Randale sent me word just as I was leaving the Border. Several weeks leave of absence at least. And I must say, that while I'm looking forward to the rest, I'm not at all sanguine about this little sojourn in the bosom of my loving family.
”

“
Out of experience I'm forced to tell you: even if they behave themselves, you're all too likely to find yourself the court of appeal for every family feud that's been brewing for the last ten years,
”
she said, and laughed.
“
And no one will like your judgments and everyone will accuse you of favoritism.
”

He opened his eyes and moved his head around, propping his chin against the seat cushion.
“
And Mother will haul every eligible female for
leagues
about in on 'visits,' and Father will go cross-eyed trying to see if I 'm attempting to seduce
any
of the young men on the estate. And dear Father Leren will thunder sermons about fornication and perversity every holy day, and glare. Jervis will snipe at me, try to get me angry, and glare. And Mother's maid Melenna will chase me all over the property. And on and on.
”
He made mournful eyes at her.
“
If I hadn't promised, I'd be greatly tempted to take my chances with Randale finding another emergency and stay here.
”

“
I thought Lissa was stationed right near Forst Reach. She always
used
to be able to protect you.
”
Savil gave him a half smile.
“
She was a very
good
little protector when you were a child.
”

“
I don't think she's going to feel she can leave her assigned post,
”
he said.
“
It seems
that
Border is heating up.
”

“
Just what we need. Another Situation.
”

“
Exactly.
”

“
You could have dealt with this earlier, I suppose.
”

He snorted.
“
Not likely. That whole monstrous mess of tangled emotions and misconception is why I never have spent more than a day at home if I can help it. If it isn't Mother flinging women at me, it's Father watching me out of the corner of his eye.
”
He throttled down savagely on the wave of bitterness that crawled up his throat, but some of it emerged despite his good intentions.
“
Gods, Savil, I am
so damned tired
of the whole dance. I really need to take a couple of weeks to rest, and where else can I go?
You
know I daren't stay here; if I do, Randale will recruit me. He won't want to, he won't mean to, but something will come up, and he'll have to-and
I
won't be able to say no. If I went to Liss-assuming she
has
someplace to put me -she'd end up doing the same thing. I'm a tool, and neither of them dares let a tool stand idle, even when it might break.
”