Loving Lawson (4 page)

Immediately she frowned. Tru lived a floor below me and was familiar with Ryker. Had met him on several occasions when we’d started our arrangement a couple months back, but she had never been around to see Allie. I kept Tru at a distance when it came to my personal life. I could see the look of disapproval on her face as she waited for me to elaborate.

“She needed a place to crash,” I told her.

Now the look could cut through flesh. “Where is she sleeping?”

“In Ryker’s room.”

“So what’s the problem then?”

“We can’t do this tonight.”

“Why? She’s in her room, and we’ll be in yours.”

My jaw tightened. How could I focus on her when I knew next door Allie was in bed alone? It wasn’t like before when she was with Ryker in there. I couldn’t share a wall with her and be intimate with Tru at the same time. It felt wrong, which was fucked up because it wasn’t. At all.

              When I didn’t respond, she took a step forward, locking those hazel eyes with mine. Those seductive thin lips curved up as she said, “Come fuck the brains out of me, Heath. I’ve been wanting this for days.”

              I loved a woman who knew what she wanted. None of that insecure bullshit to weigh me down. Tru was all about fun in the moment, a nice little getaway for me twice a week. She was safe. Nothing like the STD walking hookers that begged me for a fuck on the side of the road.

I was extremely picky with who I put my dick into.

              When she began licking my lips, I felt that deep stir within me grow. After a certain point, there was no stopping it.

Lust was a bitch.

              She pushed me back and led me to my room.

Allie

Well, until now I’d completely forgotten the walls in this place were damn thin.

              So Heath rejected that girl at the warehouse because he had another thing on the side. I wondered if she was as sexy and bold as she sounded.

             
Come fuck the brains out of me, Heath.

At least she could string two words together properly.

But jeez, talk about exciting a man. I reflected on Ryker and his constant pressure to be more open sexually. We’d been having sex since I was sixteen. After the first year, he wanted me to be more outgoing. Lingerie and sexy talk were the main kind of things he asked more of, but it freaked me out and made me feel stressed with the pressure to fulfil his wants the way he liked. Didn’t help he was two years older than me and much more experienced, and I constantly felt like I was competing against the women of his past. Because like Heath, Ryker had a long past, which was impressive for his age.

              I heard the bedroom next door shut, proceeded by sounds of kissing. I was sprawled out on Ryker’s double bed, trying very hard not to listen to everything. Shame these places weren’t soundproof. The apartment building itself was pretty derelict and dodgy, but the boys had done the interior well, decorating it with good, simple furniture.

              Two people were being intimate with each other so close to where I lay, and I was surprised by how lonely I felt in that moment. It wasn’t just intimacy I craved. Ryker hadn’t just been my boyfriend, he’d been more like my best friend.

              “I didn’t do it,” he’d told me after he’d gotten arrested. His light brown eyes stared deeply into my own as he held me to him. “Baby, you have to believe me. I fucked up bad by being around the guys, but I didn’t think it’d cost me you. Please don’t leave me. I didn’t actually do it.”

I wanted to believe him, because I knew if I did then I wouldn’t have to break up with him. After my father died three years ago, he was the only neighbourhood boy that stopped by and made sure I was alright. We were childhood friends, completely comfortable around each other, but the death of my father was pinnacle. It brought us closer and made him really look at me.

He was out of my league. The Lawson boys were beyond beautiful. So when he asked me out on a date, I nearly fell over with shock. Me? I wasn’t your average looking girl. I was pretty plain. I never cared about hair and make-up. Never tried to impress others by what I wore. I suppose after a childhood of being bullied about my long, thin limbs and ghost-like skin, I’d tried my best to be invisible.

              “Just stop lying to me,” I’d told him sharply. “They found the drugs on you, Ryker. You’ve been caught red-handed. So just fess up!”

              When he’d continued to deny it, my anger exploded at him. I told him that until he told me the truth, I was done. I still meant it. I knew if I went around to see him in prison, he’d probably continue to lie. And if there was one thing I hated the most, it was liars. So I was on my own, essentially. And if he fessed up? Well… I didn’t know. He was now a criminal, like half the guys in Hedley, and that wasn’t an endearing trait to want in your boyfriend. Mostly, I was just angry. Even if I found it in me to forgive his lies and his crime, I was certain my image of him would be forever tarnished.

              And that just made me sad.

Sighing, I turned on my side and studied his room, at all the things he loved – the boxing posters, life quotes, and pictures of Mohamed Ali. Fighting was a passion him and Heath shared equally. Only Ryker was a watcher, and Heath was the fighter.

I grabbed the half-empty bottle of cologne from his dresser and removed the lid. I dotted some on my wrist, feeling comforted by the smell of him all around me. It reminded me of all the times he’d stopped what he was doing to be with me.

I missed him, but I also reminded myself of all the nights he was out, leaving me behind in this very bed. Now I knew for certain he’d been up to no good, and that helped me overcome the missing him part immensely. Replacing it was a bitterness that dug deep in my bones, and I suppose this was the beginning of my road to resenting him.

Despite the moans next door, my exhaustion caught up to me, and I fell asleep a short while later.

*

The problem with pregnancy, I quickly came to realize, was you had to pee. A lot.

              I tossed and turned before the feeling of a full bladder was too hard to ignore. I sat up and rubbed my eyes when the sounds of more moaning rushed into my ears. I sighed and checked the time.

              1:27am

              I’d been asleep for three hours and they were
still
at it?

              Or maybe this was round two.

              Still. Round two or still finishing round one, that was an impressive feat. One that unfortunately made this a little awkward. The bathroom was at the end of the hall. I had to pass Heath’s room to get to it. And the floor creaked with the sound of a goddamn freight train!

              But my bladder…

              I slowly slipped out of bed and tip toed to the door. I opened it inch by inch until I could slip through. One step, two steps…

              I halted when I saw his bedroom door was half a foot open. I couldn’t see anything from this angle – not that I wanted to – so I continued to tip toe, holding my breath as I passed the doorway and continued down the hall. I was a lot more comfortable on my way there. The girl was proving to be helpful in my endeavour to be unheard. She was loud. Very, very loud.

              “Yes, yes, Heath, oh my God.” Moans. “That’s it. How are you doing that?” Doing
what?
“Oh, my GOD!” Heavy breaths. “YES! YES! YES!”

              I swallowed a bubble of laughter as I pushed open the bathroom door and entered. I shut it behind me and covered my mouth in case it escaped. Of all the women he brought home, I’d never heard one so loud before.

              “THAT’S IT! THAT’S IT!”

              I quietly did my thing on the toilet, and then I waited for a particular moan/scream to flush it. I washed my hands, splashing some on my overheated cheeks. Another pregnancy thing that sucked: hot flashes.

              I stepped out when I was done and tip toed a few feet before she loudly declared, “Okay, big boy, your turn. Get down.”

              I stopped for a few moments, waiting for her moans to help drown out the creaks on the worn out hardwood floor. Only she’d stopped entirely. I took a few steps forward, and when the panels beneath my feet groaned again, I froze. To my dismay, I was stuck and directly standing by the opened door where the soft, dim glow of a light from inside gave me a visual on everything.

              I looked away before I could see anything. This was private. This was wrong. Yet the girl wasn’t making any loud noises anymore, and if I moved… well, shit, they’d hear the creak from right outside their room, and what might they think if they saw me?

              Peeping Allie.

              Ugh.

              My life would be over. You couldn’t live past that kind of humiliation.

              I heard more movements, of bodies shifting, and then the sound of heavy breaths. Ones that weren’t coming from the throat of a female. They were harsh and laboured, mixed with a low grunt.

              Heath.

              My cheeks flushed, and of their own volition my eyes shot up and glimpsed into the room. I couldn’t see much of the squealer, but I could see Heath, plain as day, naked and standing in the middle of the room. Christ, the guy was ripped… and sweaty. Even with the dim lighting, I could see the thick veins protruding from his neck and arms. He was peering down at her, transfixed, his hands gripping tight her hair, causing those biceps to bulge incredibly. I scanned his body from head to toe, lingering on his abs and down his happy trail where I saw her head bobbing back and forth.

              I gulped and looked away again. I was sweaty all over. My body was trembling. Why wasn’t I moving? It was probably so loud in there with their breaths, they wouldn’t hear me.

              Yet I was rooted in place, and all I wanted to do was stare at him again. This was messed up.

              My eyes leaped back to the scene, and this time his head was facing the ceiling and his mouth was half opened. There was something so unbelievably taboo seeing a person at the crest of pleasure. They were like cracks in armour. You were seeing a vulnerable side. However even then, Heath was absolutely primal. He looked back down at her, and he wasn’t looking at a person per say, but at a toy he was using. There was nothing but lust in his eyes.

              He eventually shoved her away and forced her to her feet. I finally saw her. Saw the lithe body that belonged in magazines. God, she was beautiful. He forced her against his dresser and bent her down before driving himself into her.

              Her moans started up again as he absolutely ravaged her. Pulling her hair. Gripping her hips so tight I was sure they’d bruise. It was so impersonal
. I think I’ve seen porn with more emotion than this.

              When the trembling in my body caused my teeth to chatter, I looked away and hurriedly took off down the hall. My legs felt tingly and weak by the time I jumped into bed and threw the covers over top of me. I shook like mad, the guilt of my eavesdropping tearing holes in my chest.

              I’d never done something like that!

              I didn’t even turn away when I could have!

              What was wrong with me?!

              I felt sick, knowing those images were forever burned in me, and hating so much how turned on I felt at seeing the pleasure on Heath’s face.

              I shut my eyes and tried to sleep. It took a very long while, but I managed to around the time their session number who knew finally ended. I had a fitful sleep, tossing and turning and waking up in the early hours of the morning with sweaty hair and my heart thumping erratically in my chest. Not even Ryker’s scent helped calm me down.

              As I eventually got out of bed, I immediately spotted something white on the floor beside the door. When I rubbed my eyes and took a closer look, I realized it was a folded up piece of paper. My body tightened as a bad feeling came over. I slowly bent over and picked it up. It took me a few moments to finally summon the courage to open it. When I did, my mouth went dry and my heart stilled as I read the words written in bubbly, feminine letters.

i hope you enjoyed the show <3

he’s
mine

*

“By my calculation, Miss Wallace, you’re nine weeks along,” said Dr Evans. “Your due date is February 8.”

              I nodded at her, ignoring her frown and the judgmental way she was looking at me. I wasn’t sure why she was reserving all the negative attention on me when the entire waiting room was filled with girls equally young and further along in pregnancy than me.

              “I’ve scheduled your ultrasound at your twelfth week of pregnancy. I’ll give you the address and date, it’s up to you to get there on time. We don’t like late comers. Try not to miss the appointment. Once you get that done, come and see me. Your next ultrasound after that will be at twenty weeks. It’s important we know if the baby is progressing healthily.”

              She rambled on after that, talking about glucose tests and how I’d be seeing a nurse more and more the closer I got to my due date. Then it was what to eat, the kind of pills that would benefit the baby, and so on. My head was spinning with information by the time she was done.

              “Any questions?” she then asked with very little enthusiasm. I was just a number to her. A face she’d forget the second I walked out.

              I shook my head. She gave me my ultrasound date and sent me out the door. I left the clinic and waited outside in the blistering summer heat for Heath to come and pick me up. When he finally came bounding down the street, I checked the time and noted he was actually early. I jumped into the truck just as he reached over and turned the volume down.

              “I hope you haven’t been waiting long,” he said, eyeing my glistening arms.

              I shook my head. “No. Five minutes, maybe.”

              “Couldn’t wait inside? Must not be good being out in the sun when you’re pregnant, right?”

              “Yeah, I guess.”

              “Give me a call next time and I’ll get to you sooner.”

              “Okay.”

              He drove down the road, and I peeked at him several times. He’d just gotten off work, was greasy and smelly. He looked so rough with his buzz and dark stubble. The sleeves of his work uniform were pulled up, revealing all his intricate tattoos. Definitely nothing like the pretty boy Ryker was, yet Heath was a model citizen in comparison.

              Just goes to show you really can’t judge a book by its cover.

              He caught me looking at him and smirked. I turned away immediately, feeling my cheeks flush. God, I hoped he didn’t think I was checking him out or anything. Because I wasn’t…