Love's Vengeance (55 page)

Stephen’s rage vanished as the words penetrated his brain.

“What?” he whispered in disbelief. Tim shook his head, taking his seat again and looking down, refusing response and Stephen dropped back into his chair in shock, “What do you mean Tim?” he croaked.

“That’s right.” Tim hissed, sitting back and glaring across the desk at Stephen, “She was pregnant with your child Stephen. Try to lie about you actions now—see what ease that brings, when compared with all you forfeited.”

“She was pregnant?” he whispered.

“Over two months when she left.” Tim stated flatly.

“And you knew!” Stephen roared, slamming his hand down upon the arm of his chair.

“She confided in me that afternoon before the party. When we were seen on the bluffs by Vanessa—the comfort I was giving Desiree…”

“But Tim, why the hell wouldn’t she have told me?” Stephen shouted.

“If she thought you held anything but contempt for her, she would have told you but she didn’t want to force your hand. She didn’t want to hold you by those means and she had to leave before her condition became obvious!” Tim roared back.

“Pregnant!” Stephen repeated, sighing and hanging his head while rubbing his weary brow with one hand.

Tim had the distinct feeling that Stephen had missed part of what he had told him and slowly repeated, “What I said was true Stephen, she may have been losing the child that last day as she left.” Stephen’s eyes snapped back up to his and he nodded, “I witnessed the pains and she refused to tell even Bridgett. I am not certain of course but for all I know, there is no longer any child.”

“Oh Christ.” Stephen whispered in horror. His mind went back to that last morning. He could recall every moment. He had lived it in his dreams a thousand times. Remembering how they had united like a dagger slipping into its welcoming sheath. She rising again and again to meet him as their passion burned white hot for one another. “Tim I have to know. I must go to her.”

Tim asked more gently, seeing the shock and pain his words had caused, “Stephen, what if you go there and there is no child? What if she refuses to see you?”

“She’ll see me.” Stephen assured with conviction.

“Stephen you cannot straddle the fence any longer brother and if you cannot alight on the side a visit would suggest, then I beg you to leave it as is. Don’t hurt her more by storming back into her life with accusations or worse with more of the same she endured before. If that is your intent, you will only reap more pain, for you and Desiree. Please don’t do that to her.”

“No—no more pain.” Stephen breathed wearily.

Tim sighed heavily, “I didn’t intend to blurt it out like that Stephen and in truth I have committed a terrible breach of her trust.”

“I am so thankful that you told me. I am going to be heading home at first light, and from there, on to France as soon as I can. I have to know her state, one way or the other.”

Tim nodded, “Stephen if Desiree is what you want, which I believe she is, then I am sure you shall have her and you may well have a child soon—but I just beg that you please don’t go unless you are prepared to admit to her that you love her.”

“Tim if that last morning was the cause and the child destroyed, I give you my word as a man and your brother, that it was an accident. But if the child was lost—I don’t know what, if anything, Desiree and I will still have between us—but she will have no doubt about my love, I assure you. For the rest, we shall have to wait and see. Tim,” Stephen stood and extended his hand across the desk. “Thank you for telling me.”

Tim clasped his hand with a sound shake, “Stephen I will be hoping for the best.”

Chapter Forty-Five

A small creek gurgled merrily, running clear and cool through the meadow and Rene’ paused beside it, stooping over to lift Desiree into his arms. Desiree blushed and whirled away from him, “I’m too heavy, I can walk—just hold my hand.”

“Don’t be silly! Come here!” Rene’ pointed to the ground before him with a stern scowl, “If I were to allow you to walk through this water, Bridgett would have my head!”

“You are going to break your back!” Desiree moaned with embarrassment but she came to him and allowed him to pick her up. She looped her arms about his neck, burying her face against his throat, “I’m as big as a barn!” she whined miserably.

Rene’ crossed the few paces through the rushing water, which came calf high on his tall boots and then set her to her own feet once more and placing a hand over her rounded belly he declared, “Even with this you hardly weigh anything.” He chuckled warmly and Desiree removed his hand from her stomach with a shy smile as they continued through the meadow, hand in hand.

It was March and the promise of an early spring was evident everywhere. Birds were busily gathering the makings of nests, the grass was green and lush, trees and bushes were budding and flowering; and she was fast approaching her seventh month, Desiree reflected and she was feeling weighted down and awkward.

Bridgett continued to insist she was not overly large and true, she had seen women in this state who added pounds of flesh to their bodies, where she had only the rounded belly, having gained little weight elsewhere but after having always been so trim and exuberant; the added girth had made almost every pastime she normally enjoyed off limits. No horseback riding and no time spent alone to walk because she was constantly in the company of someone.

There were two guards, hired by Jacques that were about the estate—not typical hired hands but professional security men. They were from England; hand selected by Jacques for their expertise in such matters and they were rarely ever seen, but she knew they were out there, somewhere—keeping watch.

For her own personal security, Georges’ and two other stable hands had been assigned to her as body guards and she was not allowed to leave the house without finding one of them falling in step behind her. They were definitely not professional or even very good at being stealth. Even sitting on the grounds reading, she would feel eyes upon her and turn to find Georges’ or one of the others within calling distance. It was quite unnerving to be constantly watched and so protected. At least she could feel a little more normal and comfortable with Rene’ or one of her other friends as her chaperones. At least they
appeared
to be on casual outings, when with Georges’, it was obvious that he was dogging her every move.

Rene’ had pleaded with her to take this walk today and now she waited patiently for the question, he was sure to voice, before the afternoon was over. He wanted to marry her and had asked several times in the past weeks. She had continued to deny him, and he continued to press it whenever he found the opportunity. Lately though, she had begun to ask herself, why not? He would be a wonderful husband and as he told her every chance he could, he would love the baby as his own. She knew that he would. He would give her his love and everything her heart desired—but he was not Stephen Colter and Stephen was still in her heart, her mind, growing within her body and she couldn’t let go of the love she still felt for him. It was over and she should forget—marry Rene’ and make a life with him and make him happy—but she could not feel the love for Rene’ that she had felt for Stephen; and for that reason, it would not be fair. But Rene’ did not see it this way. He was convinced he could make her forget Stephen and love him, just as she was convinced it could not be done.

“Desiree?” Rene’ interrupted her thoughts, “Tell me something, would you?” he stopped before her and placing his hands upon her shoulders gently, waited for her response.

“
Oui
, what would you like me to tell you?” she questioned, innocently.

“Tell me you will marry me.”

“Not again Rene’!” she moaned, “Please stop—I’ve told you and told you—No.”

“But why?” he pressed, stooping down to her eye level with a foolish grin, “You know—I am a great catch. Wealthy—the disposition of a saint—and just look at this face…” he pointed to his face with an index finger and flashed a brilliant smile; showing his profile, “Damn good looking! What’s not to like?”

“Oh you…” Desiree stroked his jaw line while pursing her lips, “You are the cutest thing I have ever seen and unfortunately you are only too aware of that!” she laughed lightly, “You are all you have said and more—but Rene’ I am six months gone with another man’s child.” she reminded him.

Rene’ growled, “I don’t want to hear that again and I am growing weary of telling
you
over and over again but…” He released his breath in a heavy sigh and grandly dropped to one knee before her, holding her hand in one of his, while the other, he placed upon her belly, “I don’t care who is responsible for this child you carry. It will be my baby—not sired by me but in every other way. I love you and I will be the most loving husband and father you could ever hope to find. You know I would! And we would have other children—yours and mine and I would love all of them equally. I would cherish you to the day I die.” He grinned as a slight kick was felt beneath his palm, “He approves I think!” he chuckled happily.

Desiree removed his hand from her and he came to his feet again, “Rene’ be realistic—please!” she pleaded, “For goodness sake you are a brother to me. What on earth has come over you?” She kissed his cheek and then started to walk toward a clump of flowers, across the meadow.

“That is ridiculous!” he called after her and Desiree rolled her eyes with a smile, for his voice was rising in pitch with exasperation. She heard him jog up behind her and then he placed himself before her once more, flailing his hands in the air, accentuating his words and with merriment dancing in his eyes, “We—are—not—related!” he confirmed slowly, pausing between each word, “Not in the least! We came from two separate sets of parents…” he held up two fingers, “We were raised in separate homes and like it or not Desiree my love, we grew up to be a
man
—” he said as he pointed to his chest with a teasing deliberateness in his voice, “And a
woman
—” he said touching her chin, “And we can marry—legally—if you would simply admit that you love me!” He raised his brows hopefully with a wide grin.

“I love you Rene’ but I won’t marry you. I can’t—I am still in love with him!” Desiree reminded him, carefully lowering herself down upon the grass amid the flowers. Rene’ joined her with a heavy sigh.

“You are in love with a memory Desiree. He is gone. He hasn’t tried to contact you since you have been back. I’m here and I want you and the baby. I could make you happy, I know that I could.”

Desiree raised a hand, halting his words and nodded her head, “
Oui
Rene’ I could consent and marry you. I could allow you to share in the raising of this child and I know you would love us and shower us with affection…”

“Then why—why don’t you just let me?” he whispered, interrupting her anxiously.

“It wouldn’t be fair to you.” Desiree exclaimed in exasperation and covered her face with her hands, massaging her aching brow, “Rene’ you are giving me a headache, please let’s end this now.” she pleaded from beneath her hands.

Rene’ pulled her hands down, clasping them between his own, “But it would be fair. I would have all I could ever want!”

“I don’t feel passion for you Rene’. Nor you for me! To love someone totally, you must have all the elements, I learned at least that much from him.” Desiree confessed, dropping her eyes from his expectant ones.

Rene’ shook his head, for the moment, at a loss. He didn’t know what else he could possibly say, to convince her. He looked at her thoughtfully; then he reached out, touching her chin, pulling her eyes up to meet his. His thumb ran along her delicate jaw and he moved forward, kissing her lips, first hesitantly—gently, then more forcefully.

Desiree was totally surprised by the kiss—and by the expertise he possessed. For the first time in their relationship—she was able to think of him as a man. His mouth possessed hers, greedily, and she returned his kiss, trying to feel just a trace of the emotions Stephen’s kiss had always aroused. It was different, pleasant and not at all awkward.

He pulled back and looked deeply into her eyes, “Anything?” he asked warmly.

“I think you are daft,
Monsieur
Vermillion!” Desiree giggled.

“Shhhh…” he hushed her and kissed her once more. His hand slowly moved down to her throat, then lower and Desiree pulled away in surprise, “What are you planning Rene’?” she scowled, “You are mistaken if you think…”

“I don’t!” he interrupted, slightly injured by her accusing tone, “Have no fear my love, I have no intention of taking unfair advantage of you.” he crossed his heart with a silly grin, “I am just trying to prove to you—it could work! You love me in every way but this—I want to show you that I can bring to life those same feelings for
me
, don’t you see?”

“Rene’ I find it hard to believe you can desire me, especially in this condition.” She laughed, touching her belly and searching his eyes wonderingly.

His hand covered hers and he chuckled, “This condition is only temporary and I find it quite becoming on you. You seem to think I am not susceptible to your charms and I assure you, that is not at all true. Grant it—we have know one another for many years, we have been as close as brother and sister—treated one another so, but the fact that you have grown into a beautiful woman has not escaped my notice. I want you for my wife Desiree. I love everything about you and even your chatter doesn’t bother me anymore.” he laughed, recalling his former marriage proposal a year ago.

“Rene’ I am sure—no I am positive I would enjoy being in your arms. I could make love with you this moment and feel no remorse or shame in the act, but it would not change what I feel in my heart, and it would not change my decision.”

“But it would—it would change everything! I would not take you and cast you aside. It would be a bond I could not ignore. Just marry me and I will show you!”

Desiree bit her lower lip, picking a delicate white flower and pulling the petals off, “Exactly Rene’. That is the bond I feel with Stephen. Whether it was a bond he cherished, matters not—I gave him my heart. I cannot cast that aside. I cannot ignore it.”