Love's Abyss (St. John Series) (14 page)

“I’m confused. You just said it was okay, but now you’re telling me it’s not?”

“Yes, you see, I had a plan. I knew I wanted Max to be my husband even before we met. He was to be mine from the moment I first saw him at that horrid tavern in Tortuga. So, I developed a strategy and it worked. You, nevertheless, did not plan to be in this situation or to wed the Captain, so, yes, you shouldn’t do it anymore.”

“Soooooo, what you’re saying is, if I had a plan to marry the Captain and it happened, that would be acceptable, but since I have no plan to marry the Captain, don’t let it happen again. But again, if I had planned on marrying the Captain, it would have made it okay?”

“Yes.”

“I’m still confused. My emotions and my conscience are tearing me apart. I still feel guilty.”

“You shouldn’t. It was an emotional and trying day for everyone yesterday. You were vulnerable. The Captain, at that time, made you feel safe, and your body overruled your mind. Enjoying the feel of safety, your physical emotions overtook your logical ones and sex happened. It’s perfectly natural. But at any rate, I’m still going to ring his neck. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” Kris said and stormed out the door.

Madison sat on the bed, her mind spinning, like the way it always did when Kris started rambling. Yet, this time her words made sense. Yes, she was feeling insecure about her safety yesterday. Yes, she had felt safe in the Captain’s arms. Kris’s explanation made her feel better or at least she persuaded herself it had.

Through the ceiling she could hear the sound of Kris’s voice above her. It was closely followed by the Captain’s. Madison laughed; she could just see Kris pointing her finger at the Captain, fussing at him in Spanish. She heard the sound of boot steps stomping away.
I bet he’s standing there scratching his head wondering what she just said to him.
She was right.

On the deck above, Kris tapped her foot at the Captain. Her dark brown eyes glowed as she told him “what for” in Spanish. Her finger poked him in the chest several times.

“Kris,” Max warned.

She turned and glared at her husband. He backed up. He had seen that look before and dared not fight the wrath behind them.

Hearing the whispers coming from the crew, she yelled, “Everyone listen up! Madison is the Captain’s woman, and if you have a problem with it, then you have to deal with me. I don’t want to hear any more whispering about her. Understand?”

“Well, that came out of nowhere,” Alex said.

“I heard them talking about her this morning. Wondering when it would be their turn with her, speaking ill of her. Now they won’t.” She pointed to the Captain. “I know what happened between you and my friend.” She grabbed him by the ear and pulled him down to her. “And if it happens again, I’ll cut off every protruding part you have. She is not like us. Don’t taint her body and then return her to face the condemnation of her family. Understand?”

“May I remind you that I’m the Captain of this ship and will be shown the respect that title holds.” He removed her hand from his ear.

“
Si
, I know who you are and respect that title. But I’ll remind you, Madison has no part in your vengeance against the Commodore. She is my friend, the only one I have, so leave her out of your revenge.” She stormed off the deck once she had her say.

“Thanks,” Max replied with sarcasm in his voice. “Looks like I’ll be dealing with
that
for the next week. So now that my life is hell, I hope yours is going to be too.”

Chapter Sixteen

Madison paced the floor multiple times that day. She thumbed through almost every book, counted the panes in the window at least five times, tried to pick the lock on the cabinets and the door unsuccessfully, she even arranged Alex’s closet trying to keep her mind occupied and off the events that had happened the night before. An exasperated sigh left her lips. “What to do? What to do?” She walked to the window and looked out. Her mind wandered back to the events of last night. The feel of his kisses, the way her body felt. “Stop it!” she told herself.

“Stop what?” came a voice from behind her. She hadn’t heard Samuel enter in all her mental distractions.

”I was just talking to myself,” she informed the handsome boy, “Did you need something, Samuel?”

“I wondered if you were serious about teaching me to read?” he asked timidly.

A kind smile crossed Madison’s face. “Of course, whenever you’re ready.”

“How about now? I’m finished with my chores, and Kris doesn’t need my help killing the chickens.”

“Chickens?”

“For supper,” he informed her. “Actually, it’s best if no one disturbs her right now. She’s mad at the Capt’n and is taking her anger out on anyone and anything, so she decided to have chicken tonight for dinner.” He shook his head slowly as he said, “I sure would hate to be a chicken right now.”

A small giggle came from Madison. “So would I,” she said. “But why is she killing the chickens? I thought she needed them for the eggs?”

“She does, but we’ll be docking in a couple of days, so she needs to get rid of the old ones so she can get new ones.”

“I see,” Madison said. The thought of coming to a port made Madison feel disheartened. She had no idea why. She shook the feeling from her head. “Come on,” she told Samuel and walked towards the large table at the front of the room. Picking up the leather satchel lying on top, she motioned for Samuel to sit down at the table. She opened the satchel and pulled out the paper and the pencil. “Let’s begin.”

Samuel’s eagerness to learn distracted Madison’s thoughts from the evening before. They worked diligently through the entire day. “Good job, Samuel,” Madison said as he practiced writing his letters.

The boy looked up and smiled proudly at her, the intelligence in his eyes shining through. She was so nice, he thought. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” she replied. “You’re a fast learner. Before you know it, you’ll be reading a novel.”

A worrisome look came over the boy’s face. “Miss Madison?”

“Yes.”

“The other day, a couple of weeks ago I mean. Well, I meant to ask you something.”

“What is it?”

“When the Capt’n was fusin’ at me for swingin’ in the window, I heard you say I was his son. What made you think that?”

Madison looked at the boy. He had such sadness in his eyes. “Because you look just like him. I also figured with you being so young and on this ship you had to be related.”

“I’m not a child! I’m almost thirteen!”

“I didn’t say you were a child. I said you were young, a big difference. And watch your tone,” she scolded him.

He lowered his eyes then looked up quickly. The clock struck six. “Oh, my gosh! I forgot all about helping Kris. I’ve got to go!” He hurriedly stood up and headed towards the door.

“Don’t forget, tomorrow after lunch. We’ll practice some more.”

As Samuel started out the door, he almost ran straight into the Captain. “Sorry, sir.”

Alex looked down at the blond-headed youngster and nodded. Samuel scurried past him. Alex looked into the cabin, his gaze fixed on Madison. Their eyes locked momentarily before she quickly looked away and straightened up the table.

“So, how did it go?” he asked her.

“Huh? Oh, the reading? Excellent. Samuel is a very smart boy. He’ll be reading that,” she pointed at a large book on the table, “in no time.”

“Good,” Alex commented and walked towards the tall thin cabinet where the rum was. He opened it up, took out a bottle, and took a long swig. When he looked at her, an image of her lying naked on his bed entered his mind. She had distracted his thoughts almost the entire day. He slowly turned back to her. She was shuffling papers and placing them in the satchel.

She could feel his eyes upon her, taking in her every move. The way she picked up the papers to moving a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She looked up. “Do you need something, Captain?”

Ah, and there it was, that condescending tone she had when she first was captured. He was wondering how long it would take before it started.

“No,” he said in an insolent tone. “Just making sure you don’t throw away anything important.”

“Like what? These?” she snapped, holding up her father’s and the Governor’s shipping manifestos.

Alex looked at the papers in her hand. “I suggest you put those back.”

“Or what? You’ll make me swim?”

“Possibly.”

She looked at him, then out of the corner of her eyes to the documents. A sneer crossed her face. “No.” She was itching for a fight for some reason. She didn’t know why. Maybe it was to help erase the wonderful feelings he conjured up inside her, to help kill the magic, so to speak.

His eyes narrowed. “It would be wise if you did,” he warned as he started her way. She darted to the far side of the table. He stopped and looked around the room. “Where are you planning on escaping to?”

She looked around. “I don’t know, but you can’t reach me or these.” She shook the records.

He placed his large hands on the table between them, leaned over, and said, “You can’t stay there all night. You’ll eventually get tired.”

“You’re right,” she said. She spied the candle burning beside her. “But these aren’t fireproof.” She placed the edge over top of the flame.

“Give me those, damn it!” he said.

“No!” she yelled.

Alex watched as the papers burned in the corner. In one quick move, he leapt onto the table, snatched the papers from her hands, and stomped the fire out with his boots. “Are you mad!” he yelled at her as he jumped down from the table beside her.

“Those don’t belong to you. They belong to my father and the Governor. You stole them!”

“Yes, they do belong to me. I take—” He stopped. He had almost given away his identity.

“Yes, you take belongings from others and claim them for yourself.”

“That’s right, love, just like last night.” The words escaped from his lips before he had time to think of what he said.

He watched as the anger boiled in her eyes. “You bastard!” she yelled. His words hurt more than any physical injury. She raised her hand to slap him, but he caught it. His fingers engulfed her tiny wrist.

“You’ve done that one too many times. Don’t expect to do it again,” he warned.

She attempted to pull her arm away from him but it was futile. His grip was just too strong. “I hate you!” she hissed.

He looked into her eyes. The hurt and anger made tears begin to form in them. He watched as a tear rolled down her cheek. The realization of what he had said struck him. It was cruel, but he needed to remember who she was, the plan at hand.

He suddenly felt an intense pain in his groin. In his distraction, he had let his guard down. She had taken advantage of that and managed to get one of her knees up. He noticed tiny stars in his peripheral vision, but kept a fast hold of her wrist. He shook his head and came back to reality.

He watched the smug tear-streaked expression. He wanted to take her in his arms and tell her he was sorry. The awareness of his thought struck him like lightning and he released her arm. She ran towards the door, but it was locked.

“I told you,” he said through teeth gritted with pain, “there’s no place for you to go.”

She turned and glared at him. “Ooooo!” she yelled and stomped to the loveseat and sat down hard. She turned her back to him and crossed her arms across her chest as the tears quietly ran down her cheeks.

He slowly straightened. He gathered the shipping manifestos and placed them in the waist of his trousers. He grabbed a bottle of rum. “Hope you had plenty for lunch and company today, because there’ll be no food for you tonight or guests for the remainder of the voyage.”

“Go to hell!” she yelled with a quivering voice.

The sound of the door slamming as he left made her flinch. She reached over and grabbed the small pillow at her feet. She placed it over her face and sobbed.

Alex stomped to the deck. The crew could feel his hostility in his deliberate steps and quickly jumped out of his way. He marched to the bow and gazed at the setting sun before him. He placed the bottle of rum to his lips and took several quick swallows.

“You look like a man with the world’s problems settin’ on his shoulders,” came an old shaky voice behind him.

“You need something, Smitty?”

The old pirate looked at the Captain. He ran his bony fingers through his long white beard. “Naw, just makin’ an observation,” he said as he walked up beside the Captain. Smitty had been with
The
Abyss
before Alex’s time. She was his home. When Alex took command, he agreed to be loyal to him. He never did like Henry. Henry was mean and barbarous. Alex, on the other hand, treated his crew fairly, as long as they respected the rules that he set.

Smitty took a long thoughtful breath. “Don’t know why yer up here? Especially, with a pretty lady like that redhead in yer cabin. Unless you two’s a feudin’.” Alex shot him a frustrated look. Smitty raised one of his old, crumpled hands up to his wrinkled cheek and rubbed it. “So you two are a feudin’.”

“Mind your own business, Mr. Smitty,” the Captain warned.

“Naw, don’t think I will this time, Capt’n. Ole Smitty’s been around for a long time. I’ve seen ya, minded ya. Watched ya grow from a reckless, immature sailor into a feared pirate. Watched ya fall in love with that pretty little blond in Port Royal. Watched ya drown your tears in a bottle of rum and bout drink yourself dead after she died. Watched the hatred for the Commodore build up inside ya till it consumed your soul. I watched ya almost die at his hands. I’ve watched ya since that woman came aboard. And I’ve seen the way ya look at her.” He looked at the Captain. Alex’s eyes were fixed straight ahead. “Capt’n?” Alex looked at the old man but said nothing. “She’s changed ya. From the moment ya saw her, she changed ya. Ya look at her and ya can see yer future and it scares ya.”

Alex peered stony-faced at the old man. “Thanks for your delusional insight, but she has changed nothing!”

“Really, Capt’n? Thought the reason fer attackin’
The Armada
was to kill the Commodore?”

“It was the gold,” Alex growled.

“Naw, that’s what ya told the crew. But I heard you and Max a talkin’. I know things. It was to kill him. I was standin’ right o’er there,” he said pointing to an area on the starboard side. “Ya had yer sword at that bastard’s neck . . . then she came. Stopped ya in yer tracks, made ya think.”

“Her presence there had
nothing
to do with my change of plans.”

“Didn’t it? We’ve boarded many a ship, some with and some without women on board. It never stopped ya before from killin’, even with the women on deck beggin’ ya not ta.”

“Those were different. They were whores and pirates, too, just like the men.”

“Aye, they were. But ya thought she was a whore, too. So what made ya change yer mind?”

Alex looked at the old feeble man. He couldn’t come up with a reason as to why he changed his plans. His eyes gave away his unknowing.

“That’s what I thought. She appealed ta ya. Called yer name. Hell, I’m older than the sea herself and that pretty little redhead vexed me, too. She makes ya forget things, makes ya feel things, like a siren’s song. Except she’s flesh and blood.” Smitty shook his head and rubbed one side of his old creased face. “Yet ya go and make her mad. Said something ta make her mad, ta the point she’d hate ya. All in order ta hide the way she makes ya feel down deep inside.”

“Shut up, old man,” Alex snapped at Smitty. “You know nothing of what has happened, what has transpired. You know nothing of her or her family. Or the reasons why I’m doing what I’m doing.”

“Yer right. But I know lust and love. And ya look at her with both in yer eyes.” He placed a fatherly hand on the Captain. “Just make sure ya know what yer doin’. Think of her and how it will affect her before ya let yer lust turn into the reality.” He patted Alex’s shoulder, then turned and hobbled away.

“Too late, old man,” Alex whispered to himself.