Love on a Spring Morning (21 page)

He closed his eyes, a wry smile curling up one side of his mouth. “No.”

“Then shut up.”

— —
 

Holly let him use her shower, then dried his hair for him, making an actor joke about continuity errors as she restored him to his pre-fucked look.

On the inside, though, he was permanently altered—both by the amazing sex, and the unexpectedly emotional conversation afterward. When they kissed goodbye, he poured all the gratitude he could muster into it. Words wouldn’t do his feelings justice.
 

After she peeked outside and confirmed the coast was clear, he took one last firm taste of her lips and headed for his truck, going the long way around the block to avoid anyone he might know.

He grinned to himself as he steered his truck out of town, past the home of Colonel Foster, father of Dean, Jake, Matt and Sean. Their old man did the parenting thing on his own, and his kids turned out all right. Even Sean had buckled down after a rocky couple of years at the end of his teens. Baby Foster was now gearing up for his overseas tour as a lieutenant. Had to fucking salute him and everything.

Jake had tried to tell Ryan that it would work out, months ago. He hadn’t been ready to hear it.

Now he still didn’t want to hear it. Wasn’t ready to accept that he was all his kids had. But Holly was right. Wishing it was different wouldn’t change anything.

By the time he pulled into the driveway for a different Foster—Jake, and by extension, Dani—he was feeling something that felt a lot like calm. Settled.

He wasn’t the only guest for a late post-church lunch, it looked like. Rafe’s truck was parked in front of the garage, and Matt’s was around the side of the house.

Inside, he found almost the entire Minelli and Foster combined clan. Apparently Sean and Dean had hopped in Matt’s truck, and Tom had biked over, and they were all crowded into Jake’s office at the front of the house with Rafe, listening to sports radio and yelling about something.
 

Ryan did a quick count. The only one missing was Zander. The older generation were also absent, but with the noise level his kids were generating, that probably wasn’t a bad thing.

“What the heck is going on in here?” he asked as he strolled into the great room. Living room at one end, eat-in kitchen at the other, the room was both a shining example of the high-end construction Jake was capable of, and a comfortable family-centred space.

And with the hand print artwork Dani had taped to the walls, courtesy of his monsters he was sure, it tilted a bit heavier to the latter right now.

Jake paused mid swing, his hands still around Gavin’s ankles. Ryan stared at his friend, and his suspended in mid-air seven-year-old.

“I’m a clock,” Gavin said, giggling.

“All right, carry on.” Ryan scooped up Maya, inspecting her hands for paint, but he didn’t find any. “Did you do art work with Aunt Dani?”

“Last time. Today we went to church.”

“And was that fun?”

“Mmm-hmmm. I went to Sunday School and made a spring basket to put prayers in.”

Ryan was pretty sure something was lost in the translation there, but he nodded and smiled as his daughter wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed, still telling her story about the teacher and the prayers and thinking of others. It all sounded pretty good in Maya’s sweetly squeaking voice. “That’s great.”

“Do you want to come next week, Daddy?”

“Maybe, boo. Maybe. Where’s Jack?” He’d heard his oldest crowing about something when he came inside, but now that he’d covered most of the main floor, the nine-year-old was missing.

“Dani’s teaching him to cook.” Maya leaned, pointing to the kitchen, and sure enough, there was his kid wearing an apron and proudly waving a spatula on the far side of his friend and former co-worker. Across the room, Olivia waved at him as she glanced up from typing something on her phone.

Still carrying Maya, who was now squirming, he walked into the airy, gourmet kitchen space and used his free arm to hug Jack as he peered into the frying pan. “Sweet potato?”

His kid grinned up at him and nodded. “Salmon cakes! Yeah, with sweet potato and green onion and an
egg
! I know, it sounds gross—“ Dani interjected a weak protest but Jack kept going “—but they taste amazing! And I’m cooking them!”

Huh. And here he’d been making mac and cheese like a chump. “They look great.”

“We made a sauce for them, too.”

“Really?” Ryan couldn’t get over seeing his son cooking lunch like a man. “Tell me more about the sauce.”

“We started with mayo…” Jack listed off all the ingredients, then told him how they put the lemon in the microwave to make it warm first. “So the juice comes out better.”

“I can’t wait to try it. Do you think you could make it again at home?”

“Maybe if Aunt Dani writes down the recipe for me?”

“I can do that,” Dani nodded. “Hey, Ryan, can you grab the salad and put it on the table?”

“Sure can.” He set Maya down and opened the double-wide stainless steel doors. “You’ve got enough food for an army in here.”

“Well, yeah. I’ve got an army in my house, literally.”

“And you love it.” He winked at her as he carried first the salad bowl to the table, then the trays of cold meat she’d already prepared.

“Yep.” She grinned back him.

He left her to the final preparations, and followed Maya back into the living room.

“Okay, everyone to the table!” Dani hollered a few minutes later.
Oh yeah, the mother gene is strong in that one
, Ryan thought. It reminded him of how Lynn used to call everyone to the table, Maya hanging off her leg.
You made them eat their veggies, baby. How did I forget about that?

Everyone swirled past him, heading to the big long table in the kitchen, and Ryan just stood in the living room, alone with his…
not guilt.
No, what he and Holly had shared wasn’t wrong. But that was just for him. That didn’t change
this
, the big family gathering where he was reminded that he still had a big hill to climb, parenting-wise. As he watched his kids clambering onto seats next to their adopted aunts and uncles, finding an adult to glom onto, he missed Lynn so much it hurt.

But there was also something new in his heart. A longing to share this with Holly, an aching wish that he hadn’t crept out of her trailer, that she wasn’t working today, that she could squeeze in between Gavin and Jack and help them fill their plates with salad and corn bread.

Did she like to cook? Would she help Jack and Dani, or would she be in the living room with Jake, twirling kids around in circles and laughing her beautiful laugh?

Don’t wish things could be different
. Isn’t that what Holly had said just an hour earlier? He was being an idiot.

He reached for the cucumber salad, taking a big spoonful before offering some to Maya, who said no until Tom told her he loved cucumbers and then she wanted some. Always the way. Ryan shook it off and lost himself in the conversation and food, trying desperately to just enjoy what he had.

As they ate, talk turned to the church service and where everyone parked because Main Street had been closed off. The church was a few blocks away, but didn’t have a huge lot.

“Hey, what were you doing in town this morning?” Matt reached across the table for the bread basket as he nodded absently at Ryan. “I thought you were sleeping in.”

“Nah, I just stopped to see the film shoot after dropping the kids here,” Ryan said, his heart pounding.

“He went to see Holly,” Gavin said with a grin at the same time as Maya spilled her cup of milk and Dani leapt up, and for a second, Ryan thought maybe nobody heard him.

That would be too lucky.

How the hell did he know that?
Ryan thought as his neck began to prickle, and he turned reluctantly in Olivia’s direction, his head swivelling as if pulled by an invisible rope of doom. She was looking at him far too knowingly. “Holly?” she mouthed, her eyes twinkling.

Eyes wide, he made sure that Dani had the spill under control before shoving up and out of his chair. “Hey, Liv. I almost forgot, I’ve got that baby stuff for you in the truck!” So what if he sounded like a panicky girl? That’s how he felt inside.

A few adult heads popped up, looking at him curiously, but Olivia made some similar noises, letting him drag her away. Lunch was almost over anyway and Ryan didn’t really care.

Smirking, his friend followed him outside. As soon as the door clicked shut, she dropped her jaw. “Holly? As in
Hope Creswell
Holly?”

“Don’t make a big deal,” he said gruffly. “And you can’t tell anyone.”

“Tell them what?” She crossed her arms over the slight swell of her baby bump. “I mean, if I knew
exactly
what I shouldn’t say, I could probably keep my trap shut.”

“She’s leaving at the end of the film shoot.” He was reminding himself as much as Olivia. “We’re just friends.”

“Friends that…” She trailed off and if she said
fuck
he was pretty sure he’d die of embarrassment, but at the last minute she smiled and added, “Skip church together?”

“I wasn’t going to church anyway. And she was working.”

“She didn’t have a lot of scenes to shoot today.”

“You’re super annoying. And why aren’t you at work?”

“Union rules. They’re filming right through the weekend but us little people need days off. And
you
are the annoying one. Holding out on me. I
asked
you! In the diner! I didn’t know that Holly was Hope’s real name then, or I’d have figured this out sooner. Oooh, Ryan, this is fantastic! She’s so lovely and—”

He held up his hand. “She’s leaving. And she’s famous. I can’t do that.”

Olivia frowned at him. “Can’t do what?”

Can’t fall for a woman who’s so far out of my league it hurts. Can’t expose my kids to the painful scrutiny of the world.
“Holly’s leaving in three weeks, six days and approximately twelve hours.”

“Pretty sure you’re not just friends if you’ve got that countdown going in your head. She’s a wealthy woman, Ryan. You don’t think she can fly back here for the occasional booty call?” He reared back as if Olivia had slapped him, and her eyes immediately softened. “So it’s not just sex. Or you haven’t had sex yet.”

“I’m not having this conversation with you.”

“You should tell her how you feel.”

“Stop!” He didn’t feel anything. “She knows I’ll miss her when she leaves. We’re friends. Leave it alone.”

“How did you…” Olivia tilted her head to the side. Did she see the panic on his face? He couldn’t have this conversation with Holly, or himself. He sure as hell wasn’t ready to start having it with all his friends. “Well, okay. I think it’s great, because she’s great, and you deserve good things in your life. Don’t be a martyr or anything.”

“I’m not doing anything of the sort. It’s not just as easy as snapping my fingers and anything being possible.” He dragged a breath into his burning lungs. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“Do you actually have baby stuff in your truck?”

“No.” He winced. “What do you want? Name your price.”

“Lynn raved about the baby swing.”

“It’s all yours. I’ll drop it off tomorrow, and throw in a bouncy thing-a-ma-jig, too.”

— EIGHTEEN —

H
OLLY jogged the last few hundred yards to the cottage, cooling down after a long trail run. It was almost dusk. She glanced at her watch. An hour or so until the kids were asleep, and she could slip over to Ryan’s house like she’d done every night this week. They were going to talk about maybe getting away for that date, either the next day or the following weekend.
 

Tomorrow was the start of a two-day weekend. If they didn’t get away just the two of them, Ryan had made some noise about maybe doing something with the kids.

She’d been topless at the time, sitting on his lap in his living room while he lazily played with her boobs. A shiver went through her at the memory.

“You wanna do something fun with the kids this weekend?” He lifted her breast enough so he could kiss the plump swell spilling over his palm.

“If you can keep your hands to yourself, definitely.” She gently cupped his jaw and brought her mouth to his for a soft kiss. “I kind of like making you hold it in until we’re alone. Delayed gratification and all that.”

“Wind me up tight and take advantage of me, okay, I see your play there.” He nipped at her lower lip before sliding his hands down her body to her hips. She loved the feel of his hands there—everywhere—branding her with a possessive heat.

“It’s good for both of us.”

And it really was. Their chemistry was crazy, both playful and intense, and each time they came together, she just wanted more.

Don’t think of saying goodbye.

Now she could only think of a good stretch, a hot shower, and being back in Ryan’s arms for another night. Part of a night. She couldn’t sleep over, and she knew that. Actually sleeping with him would be such a luxury.

So distracted was she by her thoughts that she almost missed the clink of wine glasses from inside the lake house before she opened the screen door. She didn’t hear it in time to run away, though, so when she froze in the doorway, Emmett saw her.

“Ahh, there she is!” he exclaimed, his eyes wide.
 

Oh, shit.
“Liana. What are you doing here?”

It took all of her inner courage to step into the house and plaster on a smile. There was no way she’d escape to see Ryan tonight. Or maybe ever again.

“My bestie!” Liana Hansen cried out, putting down her wine glass and rushing across the room. She stopped short of throwing her arms around Holly. “Oh. You’ve been exercising.”

“Yep, just got back from a run.”

“Is that allowed? What if you twisted an ankle?”

Holly rolled her eyes. “Well, I’m playing a woman in a wheelchair, so I’m sure it wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Ooh, right, I forgot!” Liana squealed and threw her arms around Holly’s neck, clearly forgetting that she thought the sweat was gross.
 

“So…why are you here, sweet pea? I’m happy to see you, really, but I’m working. And aren’t you on tour?”