Lost Cause (25 page)

“But I will be thin again, I promise. When
the baby comes I will work hard to become thin again.”

“You’re quite thin now,” Jack said.
“Perfectly thin.”

She placed her head on his chest and he
patted her back and she cried softly and her tears wet his shirt
and the rain fell outside and for a moment Jack wondered if by
acquiring a family for himself he hadn’t gotten in way over his
head.

Chapter 40

They were at the boarding house for two weeks
when the trouble started. The weather had become quite warm and it
was summer- like throughout south Texas. Sometimes Marie and Jack
went for rides out by the river in a carriage Jack borrowed from
his landlord. It was nice to ride when the days were pleasant and a
breeze played across the river bringing with it the fragrance of
honeysuckle and wild mint. Marie couldn’t walk very far without
resting but she loved to ride along the country roads with the sun
on her face and the wind in her long flowing hair.

When the sun was high and warm and Jack was
by her side the days were good for Marie. He hadn’t found steady
work yet and money was tight, but they were together and she knew
in her heart that everything would work out right.

Then one morning, about two o’clock, Jack
woke to hear Marie stirring in bed.

“Are you all right, Marie?”

“I’ve been having some pain,” she said.

“Bad?”

“No, not very.”

“Well, if it keeps up we’ll have to get you
to the hospital.”

“Okay, I’ll let you know. Go back to sleep,
you look tired.”

Jack was tired and shortly went back to
sleep. A little while later Marie woke him again and said,

“Maybe you’d better take me to the hospital.
Something’s not right. Yes, yes, we should go now.”

Jack woke the landlord and asked to borrow
his carriage and the landlord said certainly and Jack hitched up
the team of horses. The night was clear and the stars were out and
the moon was nearly full above the river.

Catherine looked very worried, Jack thought.
She seemed in quite a bit of pain and tiny spots of blood stained
the front of her dress.

“We’ll be there in a minute,” he said. “Just
hang on, sweetheart, hang in there for me.”

They arrived at the hospital five minutes
later and Jack carried Marie inside and called for help. There was
a woman behind a desk and she leapt to her feet when she saw
Marie’s sweaty face and the front of her dress.

“She in labor?” the woman asked
hurriedly.

“I don’t know,” said Jack. “She’s
bleeding.”

“How many months along is she?”

“I don’t know, lady, can you please get a
doctor for her? I mean, damn, she’s bleeding.”

“I will take you to our birthing room,” the
woman said. “Hopefully there’s a doctor still in the building.”

They went down a short hall with Jack
supporting Marie’s weight on his arm and arrived at a room with two
empty beds and a small table containing towels and medical
instruments.

“Please undress and get into bed,” the woman
said. “There’s a dressing gown on the back of the door. I’ll go
fetch the doctor.”

Jack went outside and sat on a chair in the
hallway while Marie changed into the dressing gown. Worry pressed
down on him like a great weight. He began to second guess himself
for not insisting that Marie see a doctor when the bleeding first
started. You can’t mess around like that, he told himself. My
fault. My fault. He bowed his head and prayed for Marie, stumbling
over the words until he gave up and began cursing instead. “She’ll
be alright,” he said his voice thick with emotion. “Damn to hell,
she’ll be alright!”

The woman returned with a stout man with
bright blue eyes and whiskers on all parts of his face except under
his nose. They went into the room and a short time later the woman
returned and said, “You can go in now.” Jack went right in.

“How is she?” he asked the doctor.

“Well, young man, she’s in labor,” said the
doctor.

“Labor? But she’s only six and a half months
along.”

“Yes, and she’s still in labor. You the
father are you?”

“Yes. I’m her husband. Saylor’s the name,
Jack Saylor, with a Y.”

The contractions were hitting her every five
minutes like clock work. She seemed to handle them fairly well,
although her face was drawn and the same color of the bed
sheet.

“How you feeling?” he asked with a tight
smile.

“Like I’m having a baby. Lord, Jack it’s too
soon.” Her eyes filled with tears and she covered her face with her
hands. He reached to hold her but she dismissed him with a shrug of
her shoulder.

“You go away,” she said. “Go get something to
eat. You’ll need your strength when Jacqueline makes her
appearance.”

“Not hungry. I want to stay here with
you.”

“Go out and get something to eat. I may be
doing this for a long time the doctor says.”

“That’s right,” bright eyes said.

“The first labor is usually prolonged,” the
woman added. “Your wife’s right, maybe you should go get something
to eat.”

“Please, Jack, go. I’ll be fine.”

“Marie.”

“Jack, I want so to be a good wife and have
this child without any problems. Now please, go get some breakfast,
then come back and sit with me for awhile.”

“Mr. Saylor, you have plenty of time for
breakfast,” the woman repeated. Jack wanted to argue, but he was
outnumbered and tired and hungry and in no mood for petulance.

“Alright then, I’ll go,” he said squeezing
Marie’s hand. “But not for too long.” He looked at the doctor.
“Take good care of her sir. I’m trusting her to your care.” Then to
the woman:

“Where can I get breakfast this time of
morning?”

“There’s a cafe down the street near the
courthouse,” she said. “It should be serving breakfast by now.”

Jack thanked her, said goodbye to Marie and
walked out of the hospital. It was just beginning to break dawn as
he walked down the empty street to the cafe. There was a light in
the front window and he went inside and took a seat at a table by
the window. There was no one else in the small room except a young
Mexican woman sitting behind a counter making tortillas with a hand
press. “Good morning,” she sleepily. “You want soneting to
eat?”

“Yes. What have you got?”

“Yellow beans, some boiled chicken, eggs,
tings like that.”

“Let me have a couple of eggs. And coffee,
lots of coffee.”

She went in back to prepare the food and Jack
looked out the grimy window thinking about Marie and the baby. He
hoped they would be alright; there was no use in praying about it,
he’d pretty much given up on God. He’d found himself reduced to
relying on hope, an emotion every bit as useless and fickle as
religion the way he saw it.

The woman bought the food and coffee and
placed them on the table. She was very tall for a woman and very
beautiful, Jack noted. Her long shiny hair reminded him of a
raven’s wing. “Why are you out so early?” she asked lighting a
candle in the center of the table.

“My wife, she’s in the hospital.”

“Oh? Sonetin serious?”

“Labor. I’m going to be a father.”

“Ah, buena. Congratulations, Papa.”

“Gracious.”

“So, enjoy your eggs. I wish you every good
luck with the esposa y bebe.”

Jack felt uncomfortable with the unsolicited
conversation. He ate quickly, paid for the food, and stepped out
into the cool morning air. Outside along the street were the lamp
lighters extinguishing the kerosene lamps in front of the
courthouse. One man, his face as dark as pitch, smiled a good
morning before turning up the street with his long hooked pole.

Jack arrived back to the hospital feeling
very sad and extremely tired. He went straight way to Marie’s room
and found it empty except for her dress and blood-stained under
garments. Concerned, he went out to the hall looking for some one
and found a nurse leaving a room across from Marie’s.

“Where’s Mrs. Saylor?” he asked
expectantly

“They just took a lady to the surgery ward,”
the nurse said. “Maybe she is the one you are looking for.”

“Surgery ward?”

“Yes, it’s down the hall to the left. Come, I
will show you.”

She took Jack down to the end of the hall and
pointed him to a door on the left of the hallway. The door was open
and he could see Marie lying on a table, covered by a large sheet.
A nurse was on one side of the table and the doctor with the
sparkling eyes stood on the other side. He held a contraption in
his hand that Jack was all too familiar with. The nurse saw him
standing there and walked over to speak with him. “The doctor is
going to administer a little ether to ease the pain,” she said half
whispering. “You can go in, but don’t stay too long.”

Jack approached the bed and Marie said,
“You’re back, how was breakfast?”

“Tasteless. How are you?”

“Better now that I’ve had some ether.” Jack
looked at the doctor focusing on the ether cup in his hand.

“How is everything going, doctor?” he
asked.

“Things are going well. We brought her in
here where it’s easy to administer ether for the pain.”

“I could use a little more right now,” Marie
said dreamily. The doctor placed the mask over her face and
released a few drops of ether into the cotton cloth covering the
wire frame.

“Don’t you worry about me, Jack,” she said a
moment later. Then she closed her eyes and appeared to be
sleeping.

“She’ll be out for a short while,” the doctor
said. “Maybe you should wait outside. We’ll call you if anything
changes.”

Jack reluctantly left the room and took a
seat right outside the door wondering if he would ever see his
precious Marie Hayes Saylor again.

Chapter 41

They had gone to the hospital about two
o’clock in the morning and at noon Marie was still in the surgery
waiting to deliver the baby. When Jack checked in on her she looked
very tired and worn, but she still had a cheerful smile on her
face.

“I’m afraid I’m not doing any good at this
delivery thing,” she said weakly.

“You’re doing just fine, dear.”

“Don’t you want some lunch?”

“I’ll have something in a little while,” he
said. She was a little sleepy from the ether and she had trouble
focusing when she looked at him.

“Do you think I’ll ever have this baby?” she
asked seriously.

“Of course you will. He can’t stay in there
forever.”

“She. She wants to come so early. I’m
worried, Jack.” He took her by the hand and touched a hand to her
brow. She was burning up.

“You’ll be fine. And the baby will be fine
too.”

“Promise?”

“On my life.”

She closed her eyes and Jack waited for a
while before turning to leave the room.

At three o’clock he left the hospital for a
bite to eat. There were a few people in the cafe sitting at tables
enjoying coffee and plates of tortillas with beans and red rice and
colorful sauces made from peppers and red onions. Jack sat down at
a table and waited for someone to take his order. Finally the tall
woman from the morning shift came over and said hello.

“Ah, we meet again,” Jack said.

“Ascuse me?”

“This morning? Breakfast? I ordered
eggs.”

“Oh, you must mean my sister. She is in the
back cooking pork. What can I get for you?” Jack looked around the
small room at the other diners for a moment and shrugged.

“I’ll have they’re having,” he said. “And a
large beer if you have any.

“Si, we have beer. I’ll go prepare your
food.”

Jack watched the people at the other tables
taking particular notice of two men at a table talking about the
end of the war. It was clear, like Jack, they had been recently
discharged from the army, though he didn’t recognize either of
them. Campbell came to mind and Jack wished he had had a chance to
say goodbye before his friend rode out for his home in Corsicana.
He made a mental note to look him up some day after Marie was back
on her feet following the childbirth.

The food came and Jack was surprised to see
the tall young woman who’d prepared his eggs that morning serving
up his tortillas and beans. “I have a twin,” she said in response
to his staring.

“Ah, that makes sense now. Well, you’re both
very beautiful.”

“Gracious,” she said blushing.

After eating his meal Jack returned to the
hospital. He went down the hall to the surgery and looked inside
where he saw the doctor sitting by Marie’s bed waiting to
administer more ether if needed. A nurse was doing something with a
bundle of white cloth on the other side of the bed.

“Your husband’s here,” the doctor said. Marie
opened her eyes and smiled weakly.

“Did you get something to eat?” she asked.
Her face was gray and quite drawn and the wonderful sparkle he
remembered in her eyes was now replaced with a dullness that made
Jack want to weep.

“Always thinking of me, aren’t you?” he said
forcing a smile.

“I’m not going to die, you know. Aren’t you
glad for me?” Her voice sounded strange, as most as if she had
something in her mouth.

“You would not dare die and leave your
husband behind,” Jack said.

“Oh, no, I won’t die. Why, I’m too young to
die.” Her eyes closed again and she began to breathe slowly and
deeply. After a while the doctor said,

“You should go out now, Mr. Saylor. She needs
her rest.”

Jack went out and sat in a chair feeling numb
and strange and full of unanswered questions. Poor Marie, she
didn’t deserve so much pain and discomfort. Or did she? Was this
the price you paid for sleeping together before marriage? Was this
how God got even for killing an unborn innocent? Is this what
happens to people who fall in love with each other and choose to
express their devotion by sharing their bodies with each other? It
sure felt like some sort of payback to Jack. Fate, or something
very much like it, had gotten to her in the end. You never got away
with something as heinous as taking the life of a child. And as far
as fornication, would it have made a difference if they had been
married for years before the pregnancy? What if her sentence was
death? What if she should die? No, she won’t die. People had babies
all the time. She’ll be fine. That was what all husbands thought,
he figured. She’s just having a bad time because it’s her first
child. And she’s small, thin-hipped, a narrow pelvis. Just a hard
delivery, that’s all. After it was over they would talk about what
a time she had had of it. Marie will no doubt laugh and poo-poo the
notion that it was a hard delivery. Not after she sees the
beautiful child in her arms, the one that looks just like her, with
her eyes and her hair and her sweet spirit. Oh, no, she would not
die. He wouldn’t let her die.