Lily White Lies (29 page)

Charlotte laughed, “You’re probably right.”

“Another thing, Gram told me that this whole feud began over a piece of land that each family believed they were the rightful owners of.  That doesn’t make any sense.  They each own more land than they need so why carry around this stupid grudge all these years.  Con said that our grandfathers were once friends and their father’s forbid it.  Their father’s are long gone, so why is hating each other still so important to them?”

The look of sympathy in Charlotte’s eyes made me feel pathetic.  “I don’t know what to tell you, Meg, but if I can do anything to help, you know I will.”

“I know.”

We left the conversation of my past alone and finished our coffee with Charlotte telling me about her meeting at the school and me telling her about my meeting at the bank.  I passed the idea of a church wedding full of guests by her again but she still seemed opposed to it.

“The whole idea of a big wedding seems cliché.  Half the people we invite would be purely out of obligation and then half of them would look at our ten-year-old son and then my white dress and glare with disapproval.  Kind of takes the romance out of it, don’t you think?”  I watched silently, as Charlotte rummaged through a box.  “Let’s face it, deep down Kevin and I have been an old married couple for almost ten years, a big wedding is just bells and whistles.”  She laughed.  “Most of them would only come for the free booze anyway.”

“That would be my reason.”  I joked.

“I have to go.”  Pulling her hand from the box she’d been picking through, she said, “Here’s your deodorant,” as she tossed it to me.

I caught it.  “Hey, thanks.”

“Later.”

~ ~ ~

Several days passed without seeing Con and I felt as though I were going through withdrawals, minus the shakes.  Irregular flights had kept him working odd hours with layovers in other cities.  We talked on the phone several times a day but that only served as a teaser to seeing him again.

I had readily agreed not to visit my grandparent’s until he returned; however, I did intend to make the trip to Cherry Hall today.  I still had many new and confusing emotions where my mother was concerned, so I thought this trip would be best made alone.  I didn’t know if my bringing someone she’d never seen before would upset her and asking beforehand wasn’t an option.

Neither Charlotte nor I had heard from Cory in several days and we were beginning to get worried.  Contact with the outside world was to Cory like reading the newspaper was to anyone else.  She couldn’t begin her day without a phone call or a meeting at Sal’s and checking in with us several times in one day was not uncommon for her.  I held hope that Cory had finally found something she could throw herself in to.  Charlotte mentioned that she had a meeting with her father and I had to admit, I was more than a little curious.

Grateful for an interruption from the stack of paperwork that stared back at me, I said, “Come in,” in response to the knock on my office door.

Nelda and Marco entered my office and stood silently in front of my desk.  Something instinctively told me that there was a pending announcement and I secretly prayed they were not going to tell me they were quitting.

Marco asked, “Can we talk?”

I hesitantly replied, “Yes,” as I leaned back in my chair.

“You know, Nelda’s not feeling well lately.”

My voice filled with concern.  “Oh my God, don’t tell me it’s anything serious.”

Nelda smiled and shook her head.  “It’s good serious.  Marco and I will have a baby this winter.”

Relief passed over me as I stood and made my way around the desk.  I hugged each of them at the same time, congratulating them repeatedly.

“I am so happy for the both of you.”  I clasped my hands in front of me, and said, “You make such a sweet couple, you will be wonderful parents.”

A look passed between them and it sent a warm feeling through me.  I had seen Con look at me the same way and I knew exactly what they were feeling at this moment.  Oh, how I wish he were here.

With the orders caught up for the day, I sent Nelda and Marco on their way with another round of congratulations and best wishes.  I wanted to do something for them and thought that the opportunity would present itself when I opened my new bakery.  I would need more help and a head baker and I couldn’t think of anyone better qualified than Marco.  With a baby on the way, I knew that the increase in pay would be put to good use.

I muttered, “We’re closed,” when the phone rang as I was leaving for the day.

I was anxious to get to Cherry Hall and answered more casually than I normally would.  “Hello.”

“Hi.”

I felt a little electric jolt shimmy through my body.  “Oh God, I needed this.  Where are you?”

“JFK right now, but I’ll be home tonight.”

“To stay or do you have to go back out?”

“To stay.  This week was... unusual, it doesn’t happen often.  What are you doing?”

I felt another jolt race up my back.  “I was just on my way out.”

“You didn’t see your grandparents yet, did you?”

“I told you I wouldn’t.”

“Good, I really want to be there for you when the time comes.”  I could hear someone in the background yell, ‘Con, let’s fly,’ and he said, “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

“Will I see you when you get in?”

I could imagine his seductive smile, when he said, “You bet.”

“See you then.”

“Bye.”

Work, thoughts of my grandparents and the everyday routine had me feeling drained, but since Con’s phone call, I felt recharged.  I felt like I could look anything in the face and keep going until my whole life was in order.  I hoped the feeling would last until after I saw my grandparents.

As hard as I found the task, I tried to put thoughts of Con out of my mind when the heavy double doors of Cherry Hall echoed as they closed behind me.  I hadn’t seen my mother in almost two weeks and she deserved my undivided attention during my visit.

“Ms. Embry, why it’s nice to see you.”

“Hi Norma, nice to see you, too.”  I asked, “How has my mother been?” addressing her as my mother for the first time.

Norma’s brow creased but she didn’t acknowledge the new information verbally.  “Never better.  It appears that God has touched another soul in our Karen.”  Shooing me with her hand, she teased, “Go ahead down and see her, you didn’t come to chat it up with me.”

I smiled and headed down the dreaded hall.

Greeted with the usual cries and pleadings, I was surprised when I passed room one-nineteen without receiving the expected obscenities from the man who occupied the room.

I knocked lightly on my mother’s door and turned the knob slowly.  Peeking into the room, I smiled at the sight before me.  I hesitated before entering, reluctant to disturb the moment.  She wasn’t sitting in her usual chair, facing the window and staring at everything or nothing of the world outside.  She was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding a Raggedy Ann type doll and stroking its yarn hair.  Instead of the classical music I had grown accustomed to hearing during a visit, the lull of nursery rhymes filled her room.

I closed the door behind me, causing her to turn around.  There was no smile on her face, she offered no words, but the sparkle in her eyes told me that she knew who I was.  I sat next to her on the bed and held her hand without saying a word.  She began to nod, slowly at first, and then faster.

On this visit, her unexpected action didn’t worry me as it had during my last visit.  Instead, I was overjoyed to see the progress she had made.  I thought about Gram and wondered when she had been here last and what progress she had witnessed.

I stroked the hair of her doll once and looked into my mother’s eyes.  “I see you have a friend to keep you company.”  She didn’t respond and I wasn’t expecting her to, but I paused just in case.  “And I like your new music.”

I turned when I heard the door open behind me.

Norma popped her head into the room, and apologized, “I’m sorry Ms. Embry and I know you just got here, but Karen is going to have to come with me.  I wasn’t expecting you and she’s scheduled to see the doctor today.”

“I’m sorry, I’m aware it’s not a regular visiting day, I should have called first.”  I stood and lowering my voice, asked, “Why is she seeing the doctor?”

Alleviating my concern, Norma shook her head, and assured, “Nothing to worry about, just a routine checkup.”

I breathed a sigh of relief and turned my attention back to my mother.

Norma said, “I’ll give you a minute to say goodbye.”

“Thank you, Norma.”

My mother clutched her doll with one hand and I picked up her free hand.  She wore a childlike expression of innocence and I wished there was some way I could make her understand the things I wanted to tell her.

“I wish I could see into your world.”

Picking her doll up off her lap slightly, she muttered, “Baby.”

My eyes filled with tears, as I smiled and repeated the word she had said.  “Yes,
your
baby.”

With that, the door opened and an orderly pushed a wheelchair to the side of the bed where we sat.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but your aunt is going to have to come with me now.”

My tears were ready to spill over as I looked deeply into my mother’s eyes and said, “She’s not my aunt...”  Wiping underneath each eye, I added, “She’s my mother.”

He hesitated briefly before saying, “I’m sorry, but she needs to come with me now.”

I looked up at him and nodded.

Turning my attention to her, I said, “I love you,” and as I gave her a hug, I added, “I’ll be back soon.”

I stood off to the side of the bed while the orderly helped her into the wheelchair.  As he wheeled her toward the door, I heard her say, “Baby,” before he turned the corner and disappeared from sight.

Twenty-Four

...Her hands clutched her glass and her eyes darted around the room in an attempt to avoid looking at either of us.  Uncomfortable seconds felt like minutes of agony while we sat silently, waiting for her to speak...

I murmured, “God I missed you.”

“Mm, you don’t know how many times I wanted to turn that plane around and head back.”  He guided his hands slowly down my backside as far as they would reach.  “I saw you lying on every cloud.”

He had the power to melt me where I stood with no more than a word and if only for a moment, the world spun around us, time stood still and nothing mattered outside the circle of our embrace.

As if to make sure he was real, I squeezed him one more time, before saying, “Well, you’re here now...”

I had wanted to tell him about my mother and thought I’d tell him now before the life that was swirling around us pushed it off.

“Do you have any plans for this evening?”

A flirty smile stretched across his face.

I had no choice but to ignore what his smile suggested.  Acknowledging it would have meant pushing off important issues that I really wanted to take care of now.

“If you don’t mind, there’s something I’d like to talk to you about.”

His expression became more serious and he straightened himself in his seat.

“I went to Cherry Hall today.  It’s the nursing home in Brickway where my mother lives.”

I saw the crease in his brow deepen but waited until he questioned me before continuing.

“If your mother is alive, who died in the accident?”

I answered, “My aunt and uncle.”  My answer did nothing to remove the crease that stretched across his forehead.

“Con, it’s a long story and I’ll tell you the whole thing but for tonight, can I just tell you about my mother?”

“You don’t have to tell me at all if you don’t want to,” he said.  “I don’t want you to feel like you’re being rushed or forced.  Everything in your own time.”

I nodded and chose a point where I could begin.  “My mother is mentally challenged.  When she was in her early teens, she was...”  The thought of what she went through still made me shudder.  “She was raped.”

I caught the sympathy in his eyes before he turned his head away.

“Nine months later, I was born.”  I paced around the kitchen.  “She was—and is—in no state-of-mind to be a mother in the active sense of the role, so her brother, Donny and his wife Sheila stepped in to raise me as their own.”

“I’m so sorry, Meg.”

“Con, you had nothing to do with any of this.”

He shrugged.  “Not personally maybe, but I can’t help but feel guilty by association.  As if what my father did wasn’t bad enough, hearing you talk about your mother’s pain and Donny and Sheila’s selflessness makes it even worse, if that’s possible.”  He shook his head.  “It just seems that every time my family involves themselves with your family in any manner, someone in your family gets hurt.”