Letting Go (Healing Hearts) (29 page)

Diane frowned. “What do you mean?”

Joleen cocked her head. “Just what I said. Dave couldn’t care less about me. We’re barely friends, and I’m afraid that’s all we’ll ever be.”

“But I thought you liked him.”

“I did. Still do.”

“Then I don’t get it.”

Joleen offered a sly smile. “You saw him hugging me when you walked in?”

Diane nodded.

“It was no biggie. We just made an agreement. I told him I would stop hitting on him, and he was so relieved that he gave me a hug.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope. Serious as a heart attack.”

“Gosh, that’s too bad. I’m sorry.”

“What’s to be sorry for? Now you have no more competition. If you want him, then he’s all yours.”

“But I thought you hated me.”

“Nah. I was just trying to get him back. It didn’t work. I’m tough. I’ll move on.”

“Wow, just like that?”

“Yes. I’m not stupid. Plenty of men would take me if I wanted them. I’m not wasting any more time on Dave.” She flicked her wrist. “He’s not going to change his mind.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“Pretty much.” She nodded toward Dave. “Like I said, he’s all yours.”

“Oh, I can’t, really. I’m not ready to get involved in a serious relationship.”

“Oh, puh-leeeze.” Joleen rolled her eyes. “I see the way you look at each other. Put yourself out of your misery, will you? He wants to love on you. It’s obvious.”

“Oh, I don’t know—”

“Come on. You told me he’s a good man. What more could you ask for?”

Diane’s throat tightened. She swallowed hard and looked over at Dave, who held Joey close. He tipped his head down as if he were having a serious conversation with Leanne.

Joey shot a glance her way and howled, “Mommy!” He kicked his legs and bounced on Dave’s hip. “Down, Daddy.”

Joleen patted her on the arm and whispered, “See. Joey loves you too.”

Diane choked on a sob. She held out her arms and Joey ran into her embrace.

“You come. Daddy and me pwayed you come.”

Joey squeezed her tight and expelled a satisfied sigh as he burrowed his head into her stomach. Diane rubbed the soft baby hair on his head, and her vision blurred with more tears.

Joleen handed her a tissue from her purse. “Sheesh, you’re making me cry.”

Diane chuckled and dabbed her tears. “Thanks.” She looked over at Dave and could swear his eyes shimmered.

“Joey’s a happy little camper,” he said. “He’s talked about you every day.”

Leanne approached and smiled shyly at Diane. “Hi.”

Diane offered a tentative smile. The change from the Leanne she remembered from court was nothing short of miraculous.

“Hi.”

“I can see Joey really likes you.” Leanne’s voice wavered. “That’s great.”

Diane kissed the top of Joey’s head. “Give him time, Leanne. He’ll feel comfortable around you eventually.”

Leanne stuffed her hands in her pockets and shook her head. “No, that’s okay. I’ve talked with my counselor, and I’ve thought about this a lot. I can’t do this to him anymore—or to me. If I’m going to stay clean and sober, I can’t keep getting stressed out. It makes me want to use.”

Diane glanced over at Dave, then back at Leanne.

She shrugged. “I told myself on my way over here that if he was still afraid of me, then this would be my last visit.”

Joey pulled his face from Diane’s stomach and peered up at Leanne.

Her voice quivered as she gazed at Joey. “I don’t want to upset him anymore.” Several tears rolled down her cheeks, and her chin trembled. “From what I can tell, he loves you too. I just want him to be happy.”

The lump in Diane’s throat grew. More tears spilled. Joleen handed Leanne a tissue.

“Thank you.” She blew her nose.

An awkward silence ensued for several moments. No one seemed to know what to say, so they stood quietly, stealing glances at each other until Leanne finally broke the silence.

She squatted on the floor and scooted closer to Joey so she could look at him on his level. He stiffened and pressed his face into Diane’s shirt again.

“It’s okay, Joey. I just have a little question. Can you help me?”

Joey threw her a wary, sideways glance.

“Do you want Dave to always be your Daddy?”

Joey’s brow crunched. “Daddy is.”

Leanne chuckled. “Yeah, I suppose that’s true, since you don’t know anyone else. And do you want this lady,” she pointed at Diane, “to be your Mommy forever?”

Joey peered into Diane’s eyes and grinned from ear to ear. “She my Mommy. She pwetty and soft. Mommy yuvs me.”

Diane smiled and kissed his head. “That’s right. I love you.”

“That’s what I needed to hear. I’ll call my attorney so he can draw up the papers.”

The air rushed from Diane’s lungs. “What papers?”

Leanne glanced at Dave. “I’m going to sign relinquishments as soon as I can. Joey needs to be happy and secure.”

She heard a choking sound. Dave’s face contorted as he struggled to hold back tears. He rubbed his face and took a deep breath.

“Thank you, Leanne. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

Leanne smiled weakly and nodded her head. “I think I have an idea.”

“Would you like me to keep your address so I can send you pictures of Joey every year?”

Leanne smiled and caught Dave’s gaze. “That would be great.”

Diane asked the question she figured everyone probably had on their minds but no one had the guts to ask. “Are you really sure this is what you want? If you relinquish your rights, you can’t take them back. It’s permanent.”

Leanne nodded. “I’m positive. I want Dave to be Joey’s dad. I can’t put him or me through any more visits. We can’t handle it.”

“What made you change your mind?” Diane caught a flash of pain in Leanne’s eyes.

“At first I thought I would try to get Joey to like me because I was adopted. My adoptive family wasn’t so kind to me.”

Dave said softly, “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well, I ran away from home when I was fifteen because my stepdad wouldn’t leave me alone at night.” Leanne took a deep breath, and released it. “At first I thought I was saving Joey by trying to get him back.” She shook her head. “But I was wrong.”

Diane glanced at Dave, who offered a sad smile. He understood.

“The more I’ve gotten to know Dave, the more I’ve realized that there are good people in the world.” Leanne smiled through tears. “There are people who really love their children and don’t abuse them. I just wanted to make sure Joey has a good life.”

“I’m happy you see it that way.”

“I’m really not such a horrible person once you get to know me.”

Diane pulled Joey into her arms and stood. “No one thinks you’re horrible, Leanne. I think what you’re doing is very brave and the most loving thing you could ever do for Joey.”

Diane gave Leanne a hug, sandwiching Joey between them. “That happened to me too, you know,” she whispered. “I understand.”

Joey squirmed in her arms. “ ’Top it, Mommy.”

Diane laughed and stepped away from Leanne. She wiped the tears from her cheeks.

Leanne smiled at Joey, then her face crumpled into tears. “Can I just give my little boy one teeny weeny hug? I’d really like that.”

Joey looked at Dave for reassurance, and he nodded. “It’s okay, son.”

Joey released a ragged sigh as Leanne pulled him into her arms and held him close. “I love you, Joey. I’ll always love you.”

Joey’s eyes bulged, and he seemed terrified, but he didn’t scream. Diane was proud of him and told him so when Leanne released him back into her arms.

Leanne’s lower lip’s trembled. “Thank you, Joey. Mommy needed that.”

Again Joey glanced at Dave, obviously confused.

“Leanne’s your other Mommy,” Dave explained, “the one whose tummy you came from.”

Joey looked back at Leanne with eyes wide, and then up at Diane.

Leanne rubbed her forehead and sighed. “I need to get back before curfew, so I think I’ll go now. Bye, Joey.” She waved with her fingers.

Joey stared, but waved back when Diane raised his arm for him. “Bye udder mommy.”

Leanne chuckled. “That’s right, Joey, I’m your udder mommy.” Her voice cracked as she said to Dave, “I’ll have my lawyer call you within the next few days. I promise.”

Chapter 24

D
ave held his breath until the door closed. “Did I just wake up from a dream or did I witness a miracle? Someone please pinch me.”

Joleen smirked and pinched him.

“Hey!” He moved away from her. “Not so hard, lady.”

Joey giggled and pinched him too. Dave howled in mock pain, “Ow! Who did that? Joey? What are you pinchin’ Daddy for?” He snorted and scooped up Joey and placed him on top of his head, then wiggled until he got a belly laugh out of his son.

“Sorry to interrupt the fun, Dave, but I’m going home now.” Joleen sighed. “You don’t need me anymore if Mom relinquishes as she says she will.”

He placed Joey in Diane’s arms and held out his hand. “Thanks for everything, Joleen.”

She snickered. “Come on, you can do better than that, big guy.” She grinned and looked over at Diane. “You don’t mind if I get a hug, do you?”

“No, of course not.” Diane waved and turned away to play with Joey.

Dave opened his arms to give Joleen a quick hug. “See you around.”

She glanced over and when she saw that Diane looked the other way, she kissed him full on the mouth, lingering several seconds until Dave pushed her away.

“What the . . . what was that all about?” Dave hissed.

Joleen smirked. “Want another?”

“I thought you said you were done hitting on me.”

She snickered and offered a seductive grin. “I lied.”

Diane turned to look at them, frowning.

Indicating Diane, Joleen said, “She said she didn’t want you, so I figured I’d give it one more shot.” She clucked her tongue. “You don’t know what you’re missing.”

Dave’s chest heaved, and he pointed at the door. “Get away from me.”

Joleen winked and blew Joey a kiss. “Bye, little guy.”

Tension seized Dave’s chest at the peculiar look on Diane’s face. “Di—”

She held up her hand. “It’s all right. I heard everything.”

“So if you’re not upset about Joleen, then why are you crying?”

“I’m just confused.”

“What about?”

Joey grabbed his father’s leg. “Can I pway over dare?”

“Sure buddy, go have a ball.” Dave rubbed Joey’s head. “Yell at me when you’re done so I can come get you out, okay?”

“Okay.” Joey took off running.

He turned back to Diane. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”

She released an exasperated sigh. “I told you it’s not that.”

“Okay, so let’s get back to where we were. What are you confused about?”

She sniffled and wiped her nose. “Everything.”

“Could you be more specific?”

Diane shrugged.

“Come on, Diane. Talk to me.”

“Leanne was molested in her adoptive home.”

Dave studied her for a moment, his lips tightening. “I got that impression.”

“My situation wasn’t all that different from hers. In some ways it was worse.”

His eyes widened. “It was worse?”

She nodded. “At least the man who touched her wasn’t related by blood.”

“Oh, honey. I wish I could make your pain go away.”

She took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. “I’ll be all right. God and I are walking through this valley together.”

“That’s good to hear.” He was quiet for a moment, then asked, “Do you think Leanne’s sudden turnaround is real?”

“Maybe. You know, I’m not much different from her.”

Her frowned, puzzled. “What do you mean? You’re not a prostitute or a recovering addict. You’re not even close.”

“No, when I put myself out there, I did it for free.”

His mouth went dry. “What are you saying?”

“I’m not pure. I haven’t been in a very long time.”

Heaving an inward sigh of relief, he said, “I’m no angel myself.”

She stared at him. “Doesn’t it bother you that I’ve been with other guys?”

“No. It’s not uncommon. What’s important to me is that you did those things before you knew the Lord. It’s all in the past. God has forgiven you, and He’s given you a brand new start.”

“True. I hadn’t thought about it that way. Do you suppose God would heal me from my past memories?”

“I don’t see why He’d refuse. He helped me deal with losing my wife. I’m okay now, but for a long time I thought I’d never recover.”

“I’m getting help too. I see a counselor every week. He’s helped me a lot.”

“I’m glad to hear you’re working through things. I see my pastor a few times a month myself. It helps to bounce things off him. He’s like a sounding board for me.” He wiggled his brows. “He knows all my secrets.”

Diane turned away from him and hesitated. “I don’t need you, Dave.” She turned back and looked at him with round, sad eyes.

He cleared his throat. “I don’t need you either, but I really want you in my life. Joey wants you too. He was so happy to see you.”

She smiled wistfully. “Yeah, he did seem happy when he saw me, didn’t he?”

“You bet he did.”

Suddenly Joey screamed, and Dave’s heart clenched. He dashed over to the play area. Joey wasn’t in the ball pit. Terror squeezed his chest. For a moment he was certain Leanne had come back and stolen his son.

“There he is.” Diane pointed up to the tunnel overhead. Joey looked down at them from the bubble.

“Get down!” he cried.

Diane chuckled. “I think he’s just stuck and afraid to come down the slide.”

Dave assessed the situation. “Nothing wrong with healthy fear.”

“Wait right here. I’ll go in and get him.”

Dave watched Diane climb into the hole. He had to convince her to give him a chance. If he had to fire her as his attorney, he’d do it. Technically, he didn’t need her anymore, anyway, not since Leanne had agreed to relinquish her rights.

A large man in a McDonald’s shirt stepped into the room. He looked as if he weighed at least three hundred pounds. Obviously, he couldn’t retrieve Joey from the tunnel.

“Everything okay in here?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine. My son just got stuck up there. My girlfriend is getting him down.”

Dave stepped over to the slide and waited.

“Whee! That was fun.” Diane laughed as she landed with a plop on the padded floor.

Joey clung to her neck for dear life. Poor guy was so terrified of coming down he nearly choked Diane in the process. Dave realized he should have warned her about Joey’s fear of heights.

She tried to pry his arms off her neck. “We’re okay now, Joey. You can relax.”

Joey peeked over at Dave and released her neck, then held his arms out. Dave scooped him into his arms. Joey laid his head on Dave’s chest and inserted his thumb in his mouth. Within seconds he heard the same sucking sound Joey always made when he fell asleep.

Diane grinned at Dave. “He’s out cold.”

“I think we better go. He’s not going to want to eat anything now, anyway.”

Diane grabbed her purse and handed Dave the diaper bag. He hitched it on his shoulder. “Let me walk you to your car.”

“Okay.”

Dave opened the car door for her and leaned over as she slid into her seat. “Would you like to stop by for a few minutes for some coffee? I’d really like to process what happened tonight.”

Diane hesitated. “We don’t have any reason to see each other again after tonight.”

His heart squeezed. “All the more reason to spend one last night talking then, right?”

“I suppose it can’t hurt.” She glanced away from him.

“Great. I’ll see you in about an hour.”

*   *   *

Diane stopped at her house before going over to Dave’s. Her hair needed a serious combing and her make-up had smudged, so she washed her face thoroughly and applied fresh mascara and eye shadow.

“There.” She smiled at her reflection. “Much better.”

She prayed for wisdom on the drive to Dave’s house. Her heart ached with indecision.

Before she could knock, Dave swung the door open. “I’m glad you made it. Come in.”

The hint of a five o’clock shadow had appeared on his jaw. She dipped her head, thinking he looked like one of the models on the cover of the romance novels she had thrown away, and stepped inside.

“Have a seat.”

She started to remove her black leather jacket.

“Here, let me take that.”

Dave helped her out of her coat. She turned to thank him, and their faces were inches apart. Her breathing quickened and her mouth went dry.

He smiled and walked toward the coat tree on the other side of the room. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be back in a minute.” Dave disappeared into the kitchen and after a moment returned with several candles and a long-handled lighter.

“Here we go.” Setting the candles down in several strategic locations, he lit them, and then dimmed the overhead lights.

Diane couldn’t help but chuckle at the boyish grin on his face. A face she so desperately wanted to touch. To hold. To kiss. She lowered her eyelids. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

“What are you smiling about?” He plopped down beside her on the couch and laid his arm over her shoulders.

His face hovered dangerously close to hers.

“Nothing.”

Dave tucked several loose strands of hair behind her ear, making her shiver. Her eyes strayed to his lips, and she swallowed. Would he try to kiss her tonight?

He leaned close, his voice filling with tenderness as he cupped her cheek and whispered, “I love you, Diane Simmons.”

Her heart pounded so hard she thought she might faint. She’d heard those words before, but for the first time she dared to believe that he meant what he said. And he wasn’t married, so a relationship wasn’t off limits this time. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

He scooted closer, his eyes darkening right before his lips covered hers. At first his kiss felt tentative, unsure. Almost coaxing. He followed with another and another.

Opening his mouth to deepen the kiss, he ran his fingers through her hair. She moaned, receiving his passionate gift. But she still held back. Her stomach quaked as his kisses grew more intense and deepened even further. She finally released the tight rein she’d held on her emotions and responded with fervor.

Plunging her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, she pulled him closer, forgetting everything around her. Trembling, he held her cheek and caressed her face with his thumb as his lips devoured hers with ever-increasing strength.