Letters to Katie (8 page)
“Let me get this straight. You want to apply for a loan, but you don’t have any income?”
Johnny ran his damp palms on the thighs of homespun pants. He nodded, trying to clear
the thick lump of shame lodged in his throat. He’d never had to borrow money before.
Hadn’t planned to, ever. But after a week of looking for work and finding absolutely
nothing, he was desperate. And desperation drove him to walk through the bank’s doors.
“Yes, sir, I want to get a loan. It’s true I don’t have a job. But I do have collateral.”
The banker adjusted his glasses on his nose. He perused the loan application in front
of him, set down the papers, and took off his glasses. “I’ll be honest with you. There’s
no possible way I can give you a loan.”
Desperation turned to dread in the pit of Johnny’s stomach. “Why not?”
“You won’t be able to make the payments.”
“I’ll find work soon. I just need a small loan to get me by.”
The banker paused and steepled his fingers together. “You’ve never applied for a loan
before.”
Johnny shook his head.
“It’s not easy, especially in these times. It could take up to a month just to process
the paperwork.”
“A month?” Johnny sank back in the seat.
“I’ve worked with the Amish before. I know you would have the best intentions of repayment.
But I can’t in good conscience give a loan to someone without a means of income.”
His sharp features seemed to soften a fraction. “I’m sorry.”
Johnny composed himself. “I understand.” His words were thick. He stood and extended
his hand. “Thanks.”
“Wait a minute.” He motioned for Johnny to sit back down. “We’re not finished.”
Johnny frowned as he returned to his seat.
“Have you thought about procuring an investor? Someone who provides the money for
you to grow your business? Of course that means sharing the profits as well.”
Rubbing his chin, Johnny considered it. An investor. He’d still be beholden to someone,
but it could just be a temporary arrangement until he got back on his feet.
The banker opened the top drawer of his desk. He pulled out a white card. “My cousin
lives in Akron. He’s always interested in new opportunities. The man has money to
burn, so to speak.”
“Must be nice.”
For the first time, the banker smiled. “Give him a call.”
He paused, holding the card in midair. “Or would you rather I call him for you, since
you probably don’t use a phone?”
“I have access to a phone.” Johnny took the card. James Wagner. No address, just a
phone number and e-mail. A simple card, similar to the one Johnny would have used,
if he had a business to advertise.
“Good.” The banker extended his hand. “That’s about all the help I can give you. Sorry
it’s not more.”
“No, it’s fine. I appreciate it.” Johnny looked at him. “Thanks.”
“Good luck. I hope it works out with you and James.”
Johnny stood. He fingered the card before putting it in his pocket, feeling optimistic
for the first time since he bought his property. “I hope so too.”
Katherine’s heart swelled as she held tiny Johanna in her arms. Mary Beth’s daughter’s
delicate features mimicked her mother’s, but her blond hair came straight from her
father. “She’s
perfekt
, Mary Beth.”
Her friend smiled, a happy weariness forming at the corners of her brown eyes. She
shifted in the recliner in the small living room. “
Danki
. And if I haven’t told you before, thank you for being there when she was born.”
“I’m just happy everything turned out okay. We were really worried about you.” The
image of Johnny and Chris praying in the barn came to her mind.
“
Mamm
is a
gut
midwife.
Daed
said she would be, with five
kinner
and all.”
Katherine held out her pinky to Johanna. The
boppli’s
tiny fingers gripped it.
“I think Johanna likes her
aenti
,” Mary Beth said.
“Oh, I hope so.” Katherine couldn’t take her eyes off the child. But just as she leaned
to give Johanna a light kiss on the forehead, the baby started to cry. Katherine held
her closer, whispered a few nonsensical words in her tiny ear, and brought the soft
baby blanket closer around her small body. But Johanna’s cries grew louder.
Mary Beth rose. “I’ll take her. She’s probably tired.” She took her daughter from
Katherine’s arms and settled back in the chair, leaning Johanna’s head against her
shoulder. Within a few minutes, the baby quieted.
“A
mudder’s
touch.” Katherine smiled, ignoring the ache in her heart. Would she ever know the
special bond of having a child of her own?
“For now. But when the
boppli’s
hungry, she lets you know. She’s got a pair of lungs, that’s for certain.” Mary Beth
patted her daughter’s tiny back. “Now, tell me about the world, since I’ve been cooped
up for almost a month.”
Katherine paused. “There’s not much to tell.”
“There’s always something to tell. How is work?”
“Fine.” Katherine averted her gaze.
“Just fine? Then why are you blushing?”
She didn’t answer right away. “I’m sure it’s
nix
. It’s just there’s this
mann
—”
“Oh?”
“You sound surprised.”
“I am. A little.” Mary Beth smiled, but it seemed a little forced. Johanna started
to fuss again. Mary Beth rose. “She needs changing. I’ll be right back.”
While Mary Beth was gone, Katherine stood and went to the front window. She looked
out toward the back of the Mullets’ house, where Caleb and Micah were doing some repairs
on the back deck.
In the big oak tree, the tire swing still hung from a thick branch. A few feet away,
almost hidden from view, was the pond.
So many memories. For a moment she let her mind drift to the past, remembering when
she was a girl of twelve, sitting on the tire swing, waiting for Mary Beth to come
outside.
The swing had been tied higher back then—or maybe she had just been smaller—and she
could barely touch the ground with her bare toes. She had tried to gain purchase and
propel the swing forward, but after a few failed attempts, she gave up.
Suddenly she felt herself moving. She turned and saw Johnny behind her. He’d been
fishing at the pond.
“Thought you might need a push,” he said. “Wait.” He stopped her, brushed a green
oak leaf off her shoulder, and pushed her again.
Then he smiled, and her heart turned into a puddle.
Her mind jolted back to the present. A puddle. How childish. How pointless it was,
falling in love with a boy who had only smiled and given her a push on an old tire
swing. It was just a kindness, nothing more. She had blown it all out of proportion.
For years she had held on to hope for Johnny. And now all the memories of time spent
with the Mullets would be bittersweet.
Johnny’s optimism started to wane as soon as he left the bank. He was in trouble,
and he knew it. He would continue to look for a job, but he would also call Mr. Wagner.
He couldn’t afford to turn away any opportunity. He climbed into his buggy, every
muscle in his body tense.
Maybe the best way to get his mind off of everything was to see his new niece.
When he pulled into Mary Beth’s driveway, his palms started to sweat. Katherine’s
buggy stood in the driveway. He wondered if he ought to just turn around and head
back home.
But before he could make up his mind, the front door opened. Katherine stepped onto
the porch, while Mary Beth held Johanna and waved good-bye from the doorway. She caught
a glimpse of him pulling up beside Katherine’s buggy.
“Johnny!” his sister called out, louder than she needed to.
Katherine turned around and saw him, then looked away quickly, climbed up, and disappeared
into her buggy.
He thought to call out to her, but what could he say? That he was broke? Desperate?
On the verge of losing everything? He watched as Katherine chirruped to her horse,
turned around in the long driveway, and drove away without saying a word.
His sister had already gone inside. Johnny scanned the tiny patch of property Mary
Beth and Chris called home. Their parents had given them the small parcel of land
as a wedding gift, but Chris had built the house himself. The crisp white paint,
perfectly square front porch, and neatly manicured lawn were a stark contrast to the
sad state of his own home. The front porch swing and flower boxes with buds just barely
in bloom added a homey touch.
Johnny hadn’t even thought about plants. Or his lawn.
He went inside the house. Mary Beth was sitting in the rocker. She looked up at him,
her cheeks plump, much as they were when she was expecting. “You could have at least
said good-bye to her, Johnny.”
First Caleb, now her. “I don’t need a lecture. I came by to see
mei
niece.”
“And I thought you were here to see me,” she said, finally smiling.
“Why would I do that?” Johnny winked at her.
“Here.” Mary Beth put Johanna in Johnny’s arms. “Hold her for a minute.” She disappeared
into the adjacent kitchen.
Johnny sat in the nearest chair and looked down at his niece. He didn’t feel the least
bit uncomfortable holding her—he’d never been put off by helping out with his younger
brothers, especially when Eli was a baby. He liked kids. Someday he hoped to have
a family. But that day would be far in the future—further now than he’d thought. How
could he possibly think about marriage or a family if he couldn’t even take care of
himself?
Mary Beth came back with a dish towel and laid it across his shoulder. He shifted
the baby a bit higher and patted her back. She
gave a soft little burp, and both of them laughed. “She just finished eating,
ya
?” Johnny asked.
Mary Beth nodded. “She was fussy during Katherine’s visit. I thought she was tired.
Turned out she was hungry.” She sat back down in the rocker, frowning a little. “I’m
still getting used to being a
mudder
.”
