LETHAL OBSESSION (29 page)

      “What
happened in your marriage, Shawn?”  As soon as the words were out of her mouth,
Martha regretted it.  “I’m so sorry.  That’s really none of my business.”

      “I
want to tell you though.  Talking about it can be healing.  I headed a large
parish in the Anglican.  I had no idea anything was amiss. Then one night I
came home early and discovered my wife Rosalind in bed with my best friend.  By
the following evening she had taken everything, including the contents of my
bank account and disappeared. 

      The
only thing she left was a terse note that stated,
I am leaving.  Do not try
to find me
.  The boys were seven and eight.  I was left the task of trying
to explain why their mother was never coming home.  I gave it a go for two
years but knew I needed a fresh start. That was when I decided to sell the
house and leave the country.”

      “Oh,
Shawn,” Martha took his hands. “I’m so sorry you and the children had to endure
that.”

      “It
was rough for awhile but I know being here is going to be healing for the boys
and me.  You don't have to tell me Martha, but I'd like to know what happened
with your husband."      

      They
were sitting on the deck.  The air was unseasonably warm for early spring.  The
sky was now dark and twinkling with millions of stars.  She felt so comfortable
with this man like they could go on talking forever.  Martha knew she wanted to
tell him everything.

      "Gene
became overly infatuated with Ellen when she lost her husband in a plane crash
last summer. Nothing ever came of it but I think it made him a little crazy.  When
Ellen fell in love with my brother, Richard, he sort of went over the edge.

      My
brother was kidnapped and Gene sent a note to Ellen.  She set out to find him
and that’s when he got them both. By the time I got there, Gene had a gun pointed
at Richard. I thought he was going to kill him and I just reacted."  She
looked down realizing Shawn was holding her hand.

      "I
learned to shoot as a girl from my dad, and that night I had my own pistol. I
shot at the ceiling to get him away from my brother and Ellen. Then I shot wasp
spray in his face and he dropped the gun.  That's when we tied him with duct
tape until the police arrived."

      "How
do you feel now?"

      "I
don't know.  When we married I was a teen and pregnant. I've never loved anyone
else and thought it was a good marriage.  But I was naïve.  It wasn't a good
marriage.  Gene had lots of women and he was very controlling.  He won't see me
when I visit the prison.  He was going to kill my brother and rape my best
friend.  How do I forgive that?"

      Martha
felt stinging tears. Then Shawn took her in a gentle hug and the tears
overflowed much to her mortification. For a long time nothing was said as they
held each other.

      "You
know, Martha, it was very hard for me to forgive my wife for what she did, not
only to me but to our children. Then I realized that by forgiving Rosalind, I
was set free.  The forgiveness was healing and I could clearly see hope for a
new beginning, a new life.  It's what brought me here."

      Martha
looked at him while wiping tears.  This wonderful man the Lord has dropped on
her life path is making her see the future in a whole new way.  Martha leaned
up and met his lips.  The touch of his soft mouth on hers ignited a passion she
never knew existed.  As the kiss deepened Martha thought of nothing but him.  All
that mattered was the healing of two broken souls.  Something deep inside
Martha was screaming for her to stop this insanity but she couldn’t.  Their
ragged breathing could be heard in the still night air.

      Reality
came down between them like a white lightning bolt.  Martha abruptly stood,
hands covering her face. "I can't believe I did that.  What must you think
of me?"

      Shawn
reached for her but she backed away. 

      "I
think you are the most wonderful woman I have ever met.  Don't fear what we
have.  A bond this powerful is very rare."

      Martha
was shaking but did not shy away when Shawn took her in his arms. They stood
together for a long time holding each other until the tears dried and the
trembling stopped.

Martha
met his eyes.  "I didn't think I could ever love another."

      "Neither
did I."

      "There
is so much I have to think about."

      "I
know. I'll be here."

      Ellen
and Rick were just getting ready for bed when they heard the doorbell. 

      "I'm
sorry, I know it's late.  I just...I just..." Martha  dissolved into tears
as Ellen held her.

      "It's
okay.  Come on in and let's talk."

      She
led Martha to the couch while casting a worried look at Rick.

      With
tears streaming she looked at her brother and soon to be sister. "I'm in
love with Shawn," she blurted. "We've been together all day since
church this morning.  I met his sons and they're adorable."  A fresh wave
of tears washed over Martha.  "I never thought this could happen to me and
I feel so guilty."

      "Did
you two...uh..." Ellen was at a loss for words.

      "Have
sex? No but we wanted to, at least I did. I'm appalled at myself. I actually
kissed him. I've never been this way with any man except Gene. It feels like I've
known him forever.  I know that sounds crazy."

      "That’s
not crazy at all, Sis." Rick put his arm around Ellen. "That's the
way it was with us."  His eyes caressed Ellen with love.

      “But
it happened so fast.”

      “Yep,
we understand, same here.”

      “Shawn
and I spent the day talking about everything, our marriages, thoughts and
feelings. We even talked about the sermon this morning.  He's an Anglican
priest, and he loves the Lord.  I can't believe I kissed him and I'm married. 
What does that say about me?"

      Ellen
took Martha's face in her hands.  "It says you are a normal woman who
needs to have the love of a good man like you deserve.  Please don't let guilt
kill your chance for happiness.  Perhaps now is the time to think
divorce."

      "I
can't divorce Gene while he's in prison."

      "Gene
has divorced you," said Rick. "How many visits have you made?  He
won't even give you the courtesy of showing up."

      "I
know but I still don't feel right about divorcing him."

      "Martha,"
said Ellen.  "Do you feel you deserve to have a life?"

      "I
don't know.  I have always thought about others and done for others, putting
myself last. I never learned how to really love me, the person I am.  Shawn
said forgiveness sets us free and allows us to move on.  Maybe that’s where I
need to start.  If I can forgive Gene for all he's done, then perhaps I can see
the future more clearly."

      "Shawn
sounds like a very wise man.  I'm glad he is in your life, Sis."

"I
feel the same way, Martha.  The day I hired him, I had a good feeling about
him."

"I'm
glad you hired Shawn." Martha was smiling through her tears. "I love
the fact we are working together and I can see him every day.  I'm excited
about seeing him again.  Is that good or bad?"

      "It's
good, very good," Rick and Ellen replied in unison.

      "So
how do I handle this guilt about betraying my marriage vows?"

"Let's
make some plans," said Ellen.  "The first thing you need to do is to
get Gene to talk with you.  If you don't have closure, you cannot move
forward."

      "So
how do I accomplish that?  I've been to the prison twice and he won't even come
out to see me."

      "Perhaps
we need to force the issue," said Rick.  "Write him a letter. You can
put in forgiveness, twenty years of marriage, and the son you share.  Word it
however you like but touch on those issues.  At the end, tell Gene that if he
continues to avoid you, the assumption will be that he wishes to absolve your
marriage.  If you get no response and he continues to stay in his cell, then
you have your answer.  Start divorce proceedings.  If the two of you are able
to talk, then be honest and talk about what's truly in your heart. You have to
start there, Sis.  In the meantime, continue to see Shawn if this is what makes
you both happy.  There is nothing wrong with that."

      "But
the church says..."

      "Sis,
you know how I feel about that.  The church encourages guilt and guilt is a
negative emotion.  The church is wrong in that regard."

      "Okay. 
I'll get started on the letter right away."

      "Great,
that should get the ball rolling. You know we're here for you, Sis."                                                         

      Gene
sat in his cell fingering the letter.  He'd read it several times and each time
it rang with a new meaning.  He did not want to see his wife.  The condemnation
on her face would've been too much for him to bear.  Yeah, he did some bad
things, and probably deserved to be here.  Gene was not proud of that. 

      He
wondered where his life jumped the track.  It had to have been when he met
Ellen.  He wanted her in the worst way possible.  That's when things started
getting crazy inside his head.  But all that was water under the bridge now.  It
was easy to blame Ellen for everything. 

      If
Gene was honest with himself he had to admit Ellen did not come on to him like
he really wanted to believe. Once she knew he was married that was the end of
it. Anything that happened after that was him moving heaven and earth to get
near her.  When Ellen started seeing Richard something inside him snapped. Now
he's here for a long time.

      Gene
eyed the letter again.  Martha said she was ready to forgive him.  If that was
true, perhaps he could work up the courage to go out there and face her.  He
knew she was out there waiting. Gene got up and called for the guard.

      Sitting
on the uncomfortable, straight back chair, Martha shifted her position and
looked at the clock on the wall.  She'd been sitting here an hour since she
passed her letter to the guard.  How much more time was she willing to give her
husband of twenty years?  This would be her last trip to this place.  If Gene
refused to show this time, she had her answer.                       

      A
movement was seen behind the glass partition.  Martha stood up just as Gene
walked into the brightly lit room.  They both sat down next to the phones and
picked up the receivers.

      "Martha."

      "Gene."

      Silence.

      "You're
looking good, Martha."

      "Thank
you. I wish I could say the same.  Are you being treated well?"

      "It's
okay, just hard to sleep on that hard, lumpy cot."

      "Gene,
I'm sorry."

      "What
for?"

      "Spraying
you with the wasp spray for starters, that had to hurt."

      Gene
smiled and Martha returned it. "Probably a good thing you did. Those gun
shots really got my attention. Had no idea you even owned a gun much less knew
how to use one. Who taught you to shoot?"

      "My
dad."

      "You
mean you had that pistol in the house for all these years?"

      "Yeah,
in a shoebox in the closet."

      Gene
just shook his head.  "Martha, you still have the power to amaze me."

      "So
where do we go from here, Gene?"                     

      "Where
do you want to go from here?  I'm not going anywhere for quite some time."

      Martha
looked down, choosing her words carefully.  "In regard to what happened
with Richard and Ellen; I want you to know that I forgive you for that.  I mean
for all of it, including the photos and the kidnapping."

      "That
means a lot to me Martha, but I don't think things will ever be the same
between us after this. I can't ask you to wait until I get out and I'm not sure
I would want you to."

      "What
do you want, Gene?"

      "For
you to maybe just get on with your life.  Find a man who will treat you better
than I have."

      "Did
you ever love me, Gene?  You were forced to marry and be a father at a very
young age.  That's not love."

      "Maybe
not at first, but as the years went by, yes, I came to love you, Martha, and I
always will, no matter what happens.  I know your love for me was true, and I
betrayed that love many times.  You have every right to turn your back, get a
divorce and never see me again."

      "I
forgive you for that too, and I won't turn my back on you, Gene."

      The
guard signaled and Gene nodded. "I gotta go.  Good bye, Martha.                                                          

      "Good
bye, Gene."  She hung up the phone and watched as her husband, in his
bright orange jumpsuit was escorted out of the room.

      Martha
sat there, unable to move. The conversation left her feeling numb and somehow
bereft. They were talking like two polite strangers.  What was she really
expecting?  She was still a married woman except now there was the added
complication of another in her heart. Gene offered her freedom.  Why doesn't
she take it and run?  Because divorcing Gene in prison would be like kicking
him when he's down.  She could never do that.

      Martha
got up slowly and walked out the state prison. At least they had seen each
other and talked. It was a start.