Let Me Be the One (13 page)

“Round two!” John stuffed the last bite of egg into his mouth as he jumped up from the table. “We’ll see you in about five minutes.”

Greg and Toby followed John out, arguing over how long they would take.

Suzi was scrubbing the sink.

“Hey Suz?”

“I thought you guys all left.” She didn’t turn around.

“You’re being funny this morning.” Logan wasn’t sure if his stomach hurt because he hadn’t eaten or because of the way she was acting. “Everything okay?”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s probably PMS.”

Logan wasn’t the brightest guy in the world, but he could count. She’d just had a period two weeks ago. Unless her cycle was speeding up, she wasn’t having PMS. So she was lying. Why? “Is there anything I can do? Chocolate? Jewelry? Massage?”

“I just need to get some sleep. I’m kinda tired, and I’ve been having weird dreams.”

“Yeah, me too. I warned you recording was stressful.”

“I know.” She rinsed off her hands and turned around smiling. “I wish I could help.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, rubbing her lovely body against him.

“This is helping.” He kissed her. She’d woken from a nightmare to having sex with him. And she was always kind of embarrassed when somebody heard them having sex. That’s all it was.

“You should go,” she whispered, teasing her lips across his. “You’re already late. I promise tonight will be wonderful.”

“Tall promise.”

“You know I can deliver. Now get going so I can clean up.” She swatted him on the ass.

Logan was out of the house and halfway across the lawn before he remembered what she’d said that morning.

I want you, Logan. Only you.

Why only? Did he need to ask who else she might be wanting? Or who might be wanting her?

* * * *

Suzi smacked a mosquito on her arm and leaned against the deck. So far Logan believed the nightmare-PMS story she’d come up with this morning. Acclimating herself to having kinky dreams about Brian was going to take time. Brian? She liked him. With the exception of those first couple of awkward meetings, she was destined to like him. As a friend. They could never be more than friends. She couldn’t allow it to be more. She had a boyfriend. Logan was hot, famous, and seemed to like her right now. It wouldn’t last. She knew that. She could count on one finger the number of rock stars who had a serious relationship, but the ride would be worth it.

Except now she was losing her mind and imagining she was in love with Brian Ellis of Touchstone. Because Logan Fitzpatrick of Savitar wasn’t good enough anymore. Oh, God!

Suzi hugged herself. Brian had left this morning. Flown home to salvage his marriage based on her brilliant encouragement.

Good. That was good. She’d done a good thing. And once he was out of sight, she wouldn’t be convinced she was falling in love with him anymore. Everything would be fine.

Jason strolled over with a beer in one hand and a Coke in the other. “What are you doing over here in the dark? The party’s over there. You know, where the fire is.” He handed her the Coke.

“I know. I was just standing back and enjoying the view.”

“Observing so you can put it in a book later? Remember, I’m very charming.”

“I know.” Suzi opened the bottle. He’d been so nice remembering her drink preferences, she felt obligated.

Jason draped his arm over her shoulders. “I wanted to thank you. You’ve been a huge help with Andi, and you gave Brian a good pep talk yesterday.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Says you.” He kissed her forehead.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Logan demanded, suddenly right beside them.

Suzi jumped and dropped her pop. She wasted a moment grabbing for it. Logan had Jason by the shirt and was pressing him back against the deck railing. Shock had vanished from Jason’s eyes, replaced by something a bit more dangerous.

“Keep your fucking hands off my girlfriend,” Logan snarled.

“Fuck off. I’m not doing anything to your girlfriend.” Jason tried to shove Logan back, but only managed to gain a few inches. Suzi heard Jason’s shirt rip.

“Logan, stop it. Just stop it,” she said, trying to maintain a calm tone but failing, judging by the squeak. If Brian were here, he’d be able to defuse this situation.

Logan tried to get back in Jason’s face. “You need to stay away from my fucking girlfriend.”

“Why?” Jason demanded.

“Jason, stop it. Both of you, stop it.” Suzi wedged herself between them, facing Logan. It was like a nature show with two rams facing off with her getting crushed between. “Logan, let him go.”

“I know what you’re doing,” Logan snapped, focusing over her head on Jason.

“And what’s that?”

“Jason, stop provoking him,” Suzi pleaded. She worked her arms up in front of her and planted her hands on Logan’s chest. “Can you stop being crazy for a minute, please?”

“You’re not going to take her away from me.”

Suzi forced her arms straight, shoving Logan backward. He tripped and staggered back a step. Losing Logan’s support, she stumbled and Jason caught her arm before she fell. Lunging forward, Logan drew back his arm, preparing to swing. Suzi threw herself forward in time to get clipped on the temple and thrown back into Jason’s arms.

The silence was shattering.

Suzi shook her head, and the whole world swayed around her. Jason had his arms around her, supporting her weight. The fire crackled, but no one spoke for a long time. Suzi touched her temple, expecting to feel dampness or a lump or a dent, something, but there was nothing. Her motion seemed to spur Jason into action. He stepped in front of her, shielding her from Logan.

“What’s wrong with you, hitting a girl?” Jason demanded.

“Jesus, Suzi—” Logan reached for her. “I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”

Rubbing her face, Suzi jerked away from him and walked toward the steps to the guesthouse. Her head rattled with broken thoughts. She blinked away tears that had sprung to her eyes.

Logan followed her. “Suzi, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you.”

“Are you all right?” Jason was half a step behind him, and everyone else was on an intercept course.

She shifted her jaw. “I’m fine.” She just wanted to go inside and hide for a minute.

“Are you sure?” Jason asked. “You want some ice?”

“What happened?” Cassie asked.

“Nothing,” Suzi said before they could speak. “I just want to go to the bathroom.”

Jason stopped at the top of the stairs, but Logan, Greg, and Cassie followed her down.

“Suzi, I’m sorry.” Logan opened the cabin door.

“Let me take a look at it.” Cass reached for her.

Suzi pulled away. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.” She walked through the door and tried to pull it closed behind her, but Logan squeezed in and followed her to the bathroom.

“Suzi, it was an accident.”

“Was it, Logan?” She turned to him. Jason, Cassie, and Greg were now all hovering by the front window where they could see some of the bathroom. “You were planning to hit somebody. Why not me?”

“I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“Ya think?”

“I saw you guys and I thought—”

“Jesus, Logan, it’s not like you caught us
en flagrante delicto
.” She peered into the mirror. There was a red mark on her temple. Grabbing a washcloth, she wiped her face. Good thing he hadn’t seen her in the woods with Brian. She shivered at the memory of sliding into Brian’s arms on the waterfall. But she hadn’t done anything. She hadn’t taken it any further than that moment. That should get her some points. “Don’t you trust me?”

“I trust you.”

“Un-fucking-believable. Like I’m going to run off with a married man.” Like Brian. Suzi blinked at her reflection. She did want to run off with a married man. Logan just had the wrong one.

“I turned around and saw him with his arm around you, kissing you—”

“On the forehead?”

“I couldn’t see that. I just—it looked like—” Logan ran his hands through his hair. “I’ve been having these really awful nightmares.”

“About what?” She glanced at him in the mirror. He was blushing.

Logan closed his eyes. “I love you, Suzi. I keep having these dreams of you and Jason together, and it’s making me crazy. The idea that you might… That I could lose you.”

Suzi turned. Brian was right. Jason was making Logan question himself, and in questioning, he’d started to wonder why she was with him. “You tried to deck Jason Callisto.”

“I know.”

She set down the washcloth and put her arms around him. Logan was so afraid of losing her, he was willing to ruin his career. No one had ever loved her that much. Her heart twisted. She had never loved anyone this much, either. Why had she ever thought she was falling for Brian? “Logan, you have to trust me. I’m not going to leave you for another man. I love you and want to be with you.”

“Unless someone better comes along.”

“No.” She stroked his cheek. “There’s no one better.” Rising up on her toes, she kissed him. Instantly, he relaxed, opening her mouth and bending her back.

“Suzi,” he murmured, kissing her throat. “God, I love you. I don’t even remember what it was like to be without you. I can’t live without you. I’m so sorry.”

“You were aiming for Jason. You should apologize to him.”

“Yeah. I guess so.”

Suzi brushed her fingers through his hair. “He’s trying to help you get better. You understand that, don’t you?”

Logan stared at her, uncertainty clear in his eyes.

Suzi put her finger over his lips. “
Bayonet Ball
sold eight million copies and had five hit singles.
Lucky Charmer
sold six and a half million copies and had four hit singles. He knows how to do that. And even if he can’t pull it off for you, there’s legions of Touchstone fans who are going to say, ‘Jason Callisto produced this. I need to hear it.’ It’s going to give you so much exposure.”

“It doesn’t really work like that,” Logan muttered.

“I was a consumer for a long time before I became a creator. Trust me, it does. You’re getting Jason’s seal of approval. You need to learn everything you can from him while you have the chance, and you can’t muck it up by being defensive.”

“You’re so smart. How did I get anywhere without you?” He nuzzled her cheek.

“Sheer determination. Now, Jason’s standing at the door.” She nodded toward the door. Jason, Suzi, and Greg still peered through the window.

Logan allowed her to pull him to the door and open it. When she turned to prompt him, he clenched his teeth. She smiled, and his expression softened.

“Everything okay?” Cassie asked.

“Yeah, um, Jason, sorry about that before. I thought I saw something—y’know...” Logan held out his hand.

“S’all right. I understand. I wouldn’t want anyone messing with my wife.” Jason shook his hand.

The moment the one pump handshake finished, Logan wrapped his arm around Suzi’s shoulders. His grip was tight and reassuring. Suzi laced her fingers through his and leaned her cheek on his shoulder. He did love her. Enough to fight for her. That was precious.

Present

Wally parked the rental truck in the drive. “Are you sure about this? I can move your stuff out for you.”

Suzi stared at the house. No, she wasn’t sure, but she needed it. She had to get it together and start living something that resembled an adult life. Even if it was an adult life that included roadies willing to move stuff for her.

Every window was sealed against the August heat, and there was no central air. The house was going to be an oven. The grass was long and straggly, and the city had nailed a threatening note to the porch.

“Give me a minute in case Logan is in there.”

“I’m not giving you more than a minute. He’s in there,” Wally told her. Wally had been trying to dispel her hope that she could do this without confrontation since he’d picked her up at the airport. She wasn’t exactly sure when he’d gone from being a Savitar man to being hers, but she appreciated it.

She forced herself out of the car and up the steps to the back door. The screen door and the inside door were closed. Very bad signs. She braced herself before opening them. Hot, fetid air rolled over her. Shaking her head, she backed down a step to let the first blast pass before stepping inside. She left the back door standing open as she walked into the kitchen. The counter was littered with empty liquor bottles, moldy plates, and crusty baking dishes. A couple of the pieces belonged to neighbors or his mom. They had tried to feed him, but most of it was uneaten and alive with mold. No bugs at least, but then maybe the house was shut up too tight for anything to get in.

She walked around the first floor gathering bottles and opening windows. Most of the food had stayed in the kitchen. All she found were liquor bottles. Lots of them. When Wally came in, she asked him in a whisper to put all the bottles into the recycling bin while she scraped the food into the trash. As he did that, she took the bag outside before putting the dishes into hot water to soak.

Wally had set to work putting fans in the windows by the time she finished. Already, the smell was clearing. “I’ll be down here with an ear open.”

Suzi nodded and started up the stairs. Sweat ran down her face, stinging her eyes. Another large collection of bottles crowded her office door, but the office appeared untouched. A coating of dust lay on everything. Her carefully tended African violet had shriveled on the sill. Outside the bedroom door, she chickened out. Instead, she went up to the attic, opened those windows, and put in a fan to draw out the worst of the heat. Moving back to the second floor, she started opening windows, not sure if the heat was already dissipating or if she was just getting used to it. Her stomach clenched as she opened the last window in the guest room. The only room left was their bedroom. Anything could be in there. Piles of dirty clothes. Logan. Logan’s dead body. Another woman.

No. No one else would have allowed the house to get this hot and this smelly. Any other human would have at least opened windows and gotten the rotting food out of the kitchen. Not even the most hardcore and desperate groupie would have allowed it to go this far. And if there was another woman, the neighbors and his mom wouldn’t be feeding him.