Les Tales (25 page)

Chloe blushed. With her mother talking about Kai, it felt like the woman was there in the room with them, a hot and compelling presence that made Chloe's tongue heavy and her body melt. She stood up. “I'm going to take a shower. It's been a long day.”

“Okay, honey.” Her mother brought her cider to her lips. “But don't stay up there all night, moping. Come down and be social after your shower.”

“But only if you feel like it,” Duncan said, still staring at the television. He poked his wife with his foot, his way of cautioning her against babying Chloe while she was staying with them.

She left her parents to their TV show and went to her room. She ran a bubble bath and checked her phone. Saw there was a message from Zahra.

Glad you got a ride. I left the fair and am at Café Intermezzo with the hottie. Details later.

Good for her,
Chloe thought as she slid into her bubble bath.
Maybe that's what I need, some hot young stud to make me forget about Kai.

But as soon as the thought came into her head, she dismissed it. Another mediocre lover would not help her get over Kai. Probably just the opposite. Fucking someone else would only make her fixate more on the original, whom she could not have—a woman who did not want her.

Chloe sighed. She lay back in the water, allowing the heat and the bubbles to slip over her breasts, her neck. With the water caressing her bare flesh, that fleeting moment with Kai at the fair came back to her. Their bodies pressed together as Kai's fingers dug into the small of her back. The delicious ache in her nipples that had spread low into her belly as she rubbed herself against Kai, clinging to her neck, while the other woman's hips moved against hers.

Chloe's eyes flew open, and she shot upright in the tub, splashing water on the floor.

Her breaths came faster. In shock. In hope. She pressed a hand against her chest, feeling her racing heart. It wasn't just her. Kai had felt something too.

But what was she going to do about it?

Third Sunday night dinner had been a tradition for Chloe's mother and Kai for as long as Chloe could remember. It was an evening when both women stopped whatever was going on in their busy lives to connect with each other over wine and good food. On the third Sunday of October, less than a week since she saw Kai at the fair, Chloe sat at her dressing table, nervously waiting for dinner to start.

She tapped her fingers on her thigh, dreading but also anticipating sitting across the dinner table from Kai. Although she still didn't know exactly what she wanted from Kai, she'd worried about what to wear, eventually settling on a spaghetti-strapped black maxi dress that draped over her braless breasts, skimmed over the shape of her butt and thighs before falling to the floor. Sexy, but not slutty.

She had been ready for dinner for the past half hour but had not been able to bring herself to move from the bench in front of her dressing table.

Her face in the mirror was smooth and calm; her hair freshly washed and groomed until it radiated like a black sun around her face. The only sign of her agitation was her lips, already chewed bare of lipstick and nearly raw from her teeth.

“Chloe, honey! Dinner's ready.”

She chewed on her lips again, feeling a fluttering in her belly. She pressed cold hands against her thighs, trying to still their tremor.

“Woman up.”

She said the words out loud as she glared at her reflection. She said them again until she was able to stand.

Finally, Chloe took a calming breath and left her room. She stepped into the hallway, feeling the familiar creak of the wooden floors under her feet, the smooth banister under her palms as she took her time heading downstairs.

The skylight above allowed in the bright half-moon, the glow from distant stars. She remembered sitting on those very stairs as a teenager, wondering what Kai was doing, dreading running into her with one of her lovers but at the same time desperately wanting to see her. Eight years later she was still feeling the same anxiety, torturing herself over the same woman. Maybe in another eight years she would have moved on from her obsession with Kai to find real happiness with another woman.

“There you are, Chloe. I called you for dinner ages ago.” Her mother waved her into the room.

She and Duncan had dressed up for dinner, her mother in an off-the-shoulder dress of green velvet and her stepfather in a blazer and button-down shirt. They sat at the dining table, which was set for only three. Covered serving dishes sat in a neat row in the middle of the table, while candlelight flickered from the silver candelabra.

Chloe stood in the doorway, staring at the three place settings. “Where's Kai?”

“Come sit down,” Duncan, an old-fashioned gentleman, said as he rose to his feet, waiting for her to claim her chair.

Chloe sat down across from her mother, her stomach churning with disappointment.

“She had to fly out for work,” her mother answered. “There was some sort of meeting in New York or someplace that she forgot about. She didn't sound too clear about it, but I do know she said she couldn't be here tonight.”

“That's too bad,” Chloe said. She had dressed for Kai, had prepared to face her attraction for the other woman head-on. And now she wasn't even there. She fiddled with the knife near her plate. “Did she say when she'd be back?”

“A week or two. Although she did mention that she might end up leaving from New York to go to her overseas meeting at the end of the month.”

Chloe drew a surprised breath. “That's a long time away.”

“She has an apartment in New York, where she stays when she has to work.” Her mother shrugged. “Don't waste your time feeling sorry for my world-traveling best friend. Sometimes I think she would rather be on the road than here at home.”

“I don't wonder why,” Duncan said. “Aside from you, there's really nothing here for her. She works hard and spends most of her time jet-setting to those hippie festivals all over the world.” He took the cover from one of the serving dishes and began to make his wife's plate.

For the rest of the meal, Chloe tried to pay attention to what her parents were saying instead of to the dismay sitting in the pit of her stomach. Kai didn't have to be gone tonight. She definitely didn't have to go as far as New York. She was just avoiding Chloe because of what had happened between them at the fair. She swallowed, feeling sick, although she'd barely eaten a bite of what her mother had prepared.

The lobster penne with Gruyère and goat cheese was one of her favorites, but she stirred her fork in the food, her appetite gone.

“You're strangely quiet tonight, Chloe.” Her mother watched her with keen eyes, the candlelight flickering over her soft cheeks and silver hair. “Don't you like the food?”

“It's wonderful. I just don't have an appetite tonight.”

“You?” Duncan stared at her as if she'd grown two heads. “The one I usually have to fight for the last bite of anything your mother cooks?” He nodded at his wife. “Yes, something is definitely wrong with your daughter.” His mouth twitched with amusement. “I hope it's curable.”

Her mother's look narrowed. “You're not sick, are you?”

“No, no. It's not that. I just . . .” She pressed her lips together, not sure how much she could say. “There's someone I'm into. I'm just not sure if she likes me.”

“Are you kidding? Of course she likes you. What woman wouldn't?” Her mother pursed her lips as a thought seemed to occur to her. “She is gay, isn't she?”

Chloe smiled weakly. “Yes, she is. I'm very sure of that.”

“Then there shouldn't be a problem. If you like her and she's a lesbian, then of course she likes you back.” Her mother gestured to Chloe with a bare fork. “She's not blind!”

“And you have a wonderful personality,” Duncan said, chiming in to reassure her.

Her mother sipped her wine. “That too.”

“She could just be intimidated by you,” Duncan said. “When I first met your mother, I was so bowled over by her looks that I almost didn't approach her. Once I introduced myself and found out what kind of woman she was, it still didn't seem possible that she could ever care for someone like me.”

“But here we are, seventeen years later.” His wife leaned into him and squeezed his hand as they shared an intimate smile. “You should have something like this too, Chloe. Happiness like this is worth the risk.”

Was it? It would be nice to think she ever had a chance to create something with Kai that would last for a decade and more. That fantasy tempted her, but what chance did it have of being fulfilled?

“The moral of our story is, you should go after this woman, and don't worry about your insecurities,” Duncan said. “She probably has the same fears and worries as you.”

“I doubt it.” Chloe felt odd listening to her parents' advice on winning over Kai, although obviously they didn't know who she was talking about. “But thank you both for saying that.”

Their advice was impractical for her, but for a moment, she allowed herself to wish that she could take it, that she could be a woman with a simple crush who could just go and tell another woman what she felt. But things weren't that simple.

Her parents seemed content with her response to their advice. They went back to their food, gently teasing her that it hadn't taken long for her to find a woman in Atlanta. Chloe stayed at the table with them, drinking from her glass of water more than eating but still enjoying their company and their love, which seemed to shine through everything they did.

The more she watched them, though, the more envious she became, wanting something like what they had for herself. The way they looked at each other, laughed, and had this effortless rapport with each other made her think achingly of Kai. Of what could be between them.

As she ate, she slowly formulated a plan.

When she forced down her last bite of food, Chloe put down her fork. She took a sip of water and wet her lips. “Can you give me Kai's address in New York? I have something I want to give to her.”

Her mother rattled off the Greenwich Village address. “Can't it wait until she gets back?”

“It could, but I want to give it to her now.”

After dinner, Chloe searched the metal bread box where her mother kept all the spare keys and alarm codes. Sure enough, she found a brass key ring with Kai's initials; four keys dangled from it. She made a note to write down the codes and get the keys copied the next day.

Chloe rolled her suitcase through the long hallway, looking for the right door. The hall was endless, but brightly lit with artificial lights, the doors staggered on either side gleaming with the number nine and a letter. Soon she came to the apartment. She'd used the code to get into the building but abruptly lost her nerve when faced with Kai's locked door. She tucked the stolen keys into her purse and rang the doorbell.

She had to wait only a moment before she heard noise on the other side of the door, the sound of locks being undone. Then the door opened.

“Chloe?”

Kai stood in the doorway in a green tank top, tie-dyed harem pants, and bare feet. Her toes were painted a surprising orange, and her waist-length copper locks were loose around her face. Slight shadows smudged the tender skin under her eyes, and she looked like she hadn't slept in a while.

“Hi.” Chloe greeted her with a smile, as if it was perfectly natural to show up unannounced on the doorstep of her New York apartment. “Can I come in?”

She suspected it was more from politeness than from any real desire to welcome her that Kai pulled open the door and stepped aside to let her in. “Of course you can.” The “But what the hell are you doing here?” was clear in her voice.

Chloe bit the inside of her cheek, trying to hide her nervousness as she wheeled her suitcase into the bright and airy living room, which let in a view of the restrained bustle of Greenwich Village.

Kai had been working. She had papers in a neat stack on the leather ottoman, a mug of tea sat near the papers, and her cell phone was discarded on the couch, where she must have been sitting when Chloe rang the doorbell. The apartment was warm, the heat making it seem like Atlanta in the middle of summer. Chloe shrugged off her jacket, and Kai quickly took it from her to put it on the coatrack by the door.

“I know it's a bit of a surprise to see me here,” Chloe rattled off nervously, turning to Kai with a wide smile she was far from feeling. Her stomach jumped with her apprehension, but she was determined to see this through. “I had a couple of job interviews here and figured I'd come by your place while I'm in town.” She did have the interviews. Appointments she had arranged a few weeks prior but had moved up so she would have that as an excuse to see Kai in New York. “I hope you don't mind.”

“I . . . I don't mind. This is just a bit of a surprise, that's all.” Kai ran a hand through her locks. “Does Noelle know you're here?”

“I told her I had some job interviews, yes.”

Kai blew out a breath. “Okay.” Her gaze bounced around the perfectly neat apartment. “Excuse the mess.” She shoved her hands in the pockets of her pants, hovering across the room from Chloe. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Red wine, if you have it.” It was barely two in the afternoon.

Kai hesitated for a moment before giving her a quick nod and heading toward the open French doors to the kitchen. Chloe bit her lip as she turned away, not quite believing she was doing this. After she had gotten Kai's information from her mother, she'd made arrangements the next day to move up her two New York interviews. A couple of days later, she was on the flight, then in the office with the woman running the first studio. The interview had gone well. She felt she had impressed the woman enough with her skills and her knowledge of the industry, completely focused on being the best potential employee she could be. The second interview had gone just as well, if not better.

But once she left the interview, her mind had been focused completely on Kai.

So, here she was.

Kai's apartment was a beautiful corner space with views of Greenwich Village. The wooden floors and white walls, decorated with original oil paintings of women, reminded her of Kai's condo in Georgia. Most of the women in the paintings were posed seductively, but elegantly, showing only a hint of a breast or a suggestive look over a bare shoulder. Everything about the space was warm and inviting. She glanced down the hallways on either side of the living room. They had to lead to the bedrooms.

“Here you are.” Kai came back with a glass of wine. “Please sit.”

“I'd like to stand, if you don't mind.” Chloe hated that they sounded so formal with each other, but she didn't know how to change that.

“I don't mind at all. As long as you don't mind if I sit.” She dropped onto the couch, her thighs sprawled, her curled fingers tapping gently against her knee. Kai seemed uneasy, confused.

Chloe took a sip of her wine, her gaze flickering away from Kai's sexy sprawl on the leaf-green couch. It was a full-bodied red, drier than what she'd normally choose for herself but still delicious. She licked droplets of wine from her lips before she turned to Kai.

“If it's okay, can I stay here with you while I'm in the city?”

This time Kai's pause was more obvious. There was a stillness to her body, though her fingers twitched on her thigh. Then she nodded slowly. “You can. The apartment is a bit on the small side, but you are welcome to everything here.” Kai glanced at her suitcase. “You can have my room, and I'll sleep on the futon in my office.”

Chloe held the wineglass against her chest. “No, no. I don't want to put you out.”

“You're not. Just allow me to be a good host to my best friend's baby girl.” Kai held up her hands. “I know. You're no baby, but you know what I mean. In Noelle's eyes, you will always be her baby.”

“What about in
your
eyes?”

She looked uneasy at the question. “Does it matter what my eyes see?”

“Yes.” Chloe crossed the room with the wineglass held carefully in her hands. “Yes, it does. Your opinion has always mattered to me, Kai.” She stopped in front of the couch, standing in the tight space between the coffee table and the other woman's sprawled legs.

Kai held herself still for a long moment, saying nothing, simply watching Chloe's face, her hands palms down on either side of her thighs.

“What's going on here, Chloe?” she finally asked.

Chloe suddenly lost her nerve. She gulped down more wine and stepped away from Kai, feeling the other woman's eyes on her the entire time. She thought she was ready to ask the important questions, to feel out what, if anything, Kai was feeling for her; but the other woman had gotten to the essential question before she was ready to broach it.

At the window, she looked down at the street, at the passing yellow cabs, at the people lining the sidewalks as they rushed toward their destinations. Chloe cleared her throat.

“It's nothing.” She put the wineglass down on the windowsill. “It was a mistake to come here.” She turned and almost ran into Kai. She gasped and pulled back, hands flying up. She hadn't heard her move. Her fingers brushed the wineglass, and it tumbled to the floor. Shattered.

“Shit!” Chloe exclaimed.

Wine rushed across the pale hardwood floor, creating a deep red stain.

“Be careful!” Kai said.

Although she was the one who was barefoot, Kai swept Chloe up in her arms and stepped quickly away from the broken glass and rapidly spreading stain. Kai's arms were warm and firm around her, bringing her tight against a body that smelled of the familiar mixture of spices, a scent that made Chloe's tongue ache to taste.

She clung to Kai's neck, burying her face in the scented locks, holding on for dear life even as her insides throbbed with conflict. She didn't want to want her. This wasn't fair. Even though she had come all the way to New York to force the issue between her and Kai, she knew nothing good could come of it. Tears pricked her eyes.

All too soon, she felt Kai gently lowering her. Onto a bed, not onto the couch, as she had expected. Chloe drew back, tears falling.

“It's fine, baby. It's just a broken wineglass. Nothing important.” Kai sat on the bed beside her, smoothing her thumbs over Chloe's cheeks.

“Fuck.” The tears came harder, rushing down her cheeks and, she just knew, ruining her makeup.

“It's not the glass,” she cried, hands digging into Kai's shoulders.

“Then what is it? Tell me,” Kai said. “You know you can talk to me about anything.”

Chloe abruptly pressed her lips to the other woman's. Kai froze. Her entire body went stock-still against Chloe in the bed. It seemed that even her breathing stopped. Then her mouth softened under Chloe's, and she kissed her back, hands curving around Chloe's neck, stroking her skin with skilled fingertips. Chloe trembled at the caress, her body melting as it sang:

At last.

At last.

At last.

She whimpered with pleasure and slid her hands into Kai's locks, pulling her closer. Then the other woman jerked back, her eyes wide with shock.

“What . . . what are you doing?”

“Shit!” Embarrassment flooded Chloe's face. “Nothing. I'm sorry. This was such a bad idea.” She tried to scramble off the bed and go back to the living room, get her things, and leave.

But Kai held her captive on the bed, her hands firm on her shoulders. “Don't move,” she said, eyes nearly black with emotion. “I need to clean up that glass.” She got off the bed, looking confused for a moment before she went to her closet and put on a pair of sandals. She was shaking her head as she left the bedroom.

Chloe wiped at her cheeks with the palms of her hands. “What did you just do?” she asked herself furiously.

She sniffled, wiping at the tears, which refused to stop falling. She sat on Kai's bed—Kai's
bed
—with her stockinged legs stretched out across the burgundy and gold bedspread, her knee-high black boots stark against the soft sheets, and the already short skirt of her black dress riding up to her thighs.

Angry at herself, she slid off the bed and made her way to the bathroom. In the mirror, she was a mess. Mascara running, eyes red and swollen, lips chewed bare of color.
Shit!
No wonder she backed off when Chloe kissed her. Or was it because her best friend's daughter had tried to make out with her?
Shit!

She cleaned up her face as best she could, getting rid of all the makeup and just biting color into her lips. Then she left the bathroom to find Kai. She stopped in the threshold of the living room at the sight of Kai going into the kitchen with a dustpan and broom. The knees of her pants were stained red with wine. Chloe bit her lip and stepped back. It was not like Kai to be so careless. Not at all. She must really be discombobulated. Completely outside her element. She waited until the other woman came back from the kitchen. This time, Kai had a spray cleaner and a cloth in her hands.

“Kai. I'm so sorry about this.” She twisted her hands behind her back. “I didn't mean to . . .” She couldn't even say what she hadn't meant to do. The evidence of her premeditation was there in the corner, her suitcase, and even in the outfit she'd changed into after she left her interview, low bodiced and tight, despite the New York chill.

Kai only glanced briefly at her before she crouched over the clean spot where Chloe had spilled the wine, and sprayed the cleaner, thoroughly wiping down the area with the cloth, although no hint of red appeared on the cloth. She stood up.

“We should talk,” Kai said.

Yes, they should. But Chloe didn't want to. What she wanted to do was run away and pretend none of this had ever happened. Pretend that her feelings for this woman hadn't been plaguing her for years and making her life one big avoidance. She took a breath.

“Okay.”

She waited until Kai put the cloth and cleaner back in the kitchen and sat on the couch before sitting beside her. Kai scooted back, putting more distance between them.

“Tell me what's going on, Chloe.”

She felt chastised and didn't like it. Immediately she went on the defensive. “You mean you don't know? You kissed me too.”

Kai winced at her words, looking briefly ashamed. “I did, and I shouldn't have.” She shook her head. “I could use my celibacy as an excuse, but there's actually no excuse for what happened a few minutes ago.”

Chloe took a deep breath. “I've been in love with you since I was in high school, maybe even before.”

Kai jerked as if she'd been slapped. She closed her eyes tight. “Don't say that. Please.”

Chloe crossed her arms over her chest. “Then what should I say? That you caught me in a moment of weakness and I was just horny?”

“Fuck!” Kai jumped up and prowled to the window farthest away from Chloe. She ran her hands through her locks, her back stiff and unyielding as she stared down into the street. “Noelle is going to kill me.”

“This isn't about her.”

Kai turned around, her bright eyes haunted. “It damn well is. She's my best friend. You . . . you came out of her body. You are young enough to be my daughter too.”

“But I'm not your daughter. I'm a woman, Kai. A woman who happens to want and love you very much.”

“No.” Kai shook her head, hair flying around her shoulders. “This can't happen. It can't.”

“It already did.” Chloe got up from the couch and started toward her.

“Stop!” Kai held out her hand. “Just stop right there.”

Used to obeying her commands, Chloe paused. Kai abruptly left for her bedroom. Moments later, she came back dressed in Timberland boots, jeans, and a thick sweater. At the door, she grabbed her jacket.

“I'm going out for a while.” She didn't look at Chloe. “Make yourself at home and have whatever you need. I have my cell on me, but I'll be back.”

Then she left without another word.

Chloe fell onto the couch. She squeezed her arms around her stomach, trying to quell its butterflies. But the more she thought of the look on Kai's face as she left, the more regret burned at her and the faster the butterflies flew, until she felt like she had to throw up.