Leopard Dreaming (59 page)

‘But Ms Creed has been linked unofficially to at least two suspicious deaths in her neighbourhood.’

‘Which both need to be overlooked “accidentally” by investigators. That’s non-negotiable, General. She was the victim in each case. Call it self-defence if you have to, or drop your donation to Serenity down to help sponsor a decent therapist for her. Consider that shuffled to the top of my wish list.’

Garland paced the floor, away and back again.

Glancing at her palm, Mira could almost feel the weight of having the general at the lower end of a leash for a change.

‘I’ll take silence as consent, Caroline. You’re dismissed. You have a busy day ahead.’

Garland blinked in astonishment, briefly, but retreated gracefully — pausing again at the door with a knowing smile. ‘You know, another time, another base, I recall someone like me warning someone like you that life is a drug and the more exciting it gets, the harder it can be to give up.’

‘Sounds vaguely familiar.’

‘Very pleased to see that you’re addicted, finally.’

Tap, tap.

Mira woke with a start, having no idea how much time had passed. She only recalled how exhausted she’d been after her little chat with the general, and knew that she’d fallen asleep sitting up. She noticed the sun had sunk to within a few hours from sunset; that the wallaby had shifted from her lap to her pillow, and that Gabby hadn’t returned yet with a wheelchair.

Another timid tap at the door reminded her of the noise that had woken her in the first place.

‘Come in,’ she called, but as far as Mira could see, the door was already open.

Ben’s mum poked her head around the corner at waist height, then rolled in, driving a near-silent electric wheelchair with a spacey joystick.

‘Just me.’ Mel offered a meek smile. ‘Nice dress, but should you be sitting up yet?’

‘They’re my lungs and I’ll sit how they feel happiest.’

‘I didn’t come to fight. I came to … here.’ Mel extended her hand, also extending a small gift, wrapped in an ugly assortment of crepe paper, gaudy silk ribbon and bubble wrap, all bound up with pale duct tape. ‘Peace offering. I know it’s not much,’ Mel conceded, ‘but a blind patient at the hospital once told me it’s the thought and textures that count most.’

‘It’s perfect.’ Mira knew that trick already, but closed her eyes anyway, impressed that Mel could be
so considerate. Ugly or not, gift for gift, hers seemed every bit as beautiful as Gabby’s, and she couldn’t even figure out the contents yet. Seemed heavier on one end; something inside a soft box that also slid around inside. ‘You didn’t need to —’

‘It’s only toothpaste,’ Mel said, just as the contents spilled out and Mira discovered the familiar shape for herself.

‘Oh, thanks. I might have mistaken it for antiseptic cream, I guess.’ She frowned, reminding Mel that she’d already played that prank on Mira.

‘It’s for the bird dispenser.’

‘So I figured. Very thoughtful, actually. And appreciated.’

Mel took it from Mira and assembled them together.

‘Lockman
did
tell you I can see now, right?’

Mel nodded, then shook her head, trying to hide an unexpected swell of tears. ‘I’m so ashamed. I should have seen how good you were for Benny. Now he’s running off to join the army so he can spend more time with that
Tarin
.’

‘I thought you’d like her. She’s strong and capable.’

‘I thought so too. I sent her flowers. But she’s too strong-willed and seductive. It seems far more likely now she’ll get him killed.’

‘Actually, if my count is correct, I believe she’s saved his life at least three times a day every day since she’s met him. Or higher, if you want to talk averages. But to be fair, the last few months have been exceptional. From what I’ve seen of a soldier’s life, it’s all about “hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait”, with lengthy periods of boredom interrupted only by a few intense moments of dodging bullets, and a lot of pointless busy time like marching, cleaning or watching other people get on with their lives.’

‘Then I take it I can’t count on your support to talk him out of this stupid idea?’

‘Of enlisting? To be honest, until you rolled in, I was going to try.’

‘You malicious little —’

‘Calm down, Mel. I understand you’re in a lot of pain, emotionally as well as physically right now, so let me be clear.’ She kind of liked the ring of that phrase from Garland now that she’d tried it herself. ‘I’m not changing my mind to oppose you deliberately. But you did make me realise that I don’t have any right to tell him what to do with his life. Exactly the opposite. I owe him my support in absolutely anything he wants to try. If he succeeds, I want to be there with him to celebrate. Or if he fails, I want to stay close enough as friends to ensure I’ll always be around in time to catch him as he’s falling. Now that I think about it, that’s all he ever wanted with me.’

Mel sighed heavily, rolling her chair back a little. ‘Well, that’s all I’ve ever really wanted too, I guess.’

‘Then cheer up. He’ll probably be bored stupid in a month, and in the meantime, he’s still here, so there’s still time to hug and make up.’ Mira nodded to the small grey tin on her bedside table. ‘Why don’t you try one of his favourite breath mints before you go?’

A
lone again, and feeling the seconds tick by in time with her pulse, Mira began to worry about Gabby and Declan now as well as Benny and Jayson.

She stroked the joey’s fur, trying to stay calm, but she couldn’t wait any longer. She hated wheelchairs anyway. Swinging her legs around ever so slowly and cautiously, she hung her feet over the side to find them herself.

‘Nice dress.’

Ben rolled in almost silently, like a wheelchair ninja. He wore super-sized cotton-club arms and legs but still managed to steer his spacey new wheels like Mel, with a joystick.

‘Oh, hi.’ Her smile beamed instantly, despite the inevitable argument over his enlistment.

‘Hey, should you be out of bed yet?’ he asked.

‘I should ask you the same question. I heard you’ve been in surgery again.’

He shrugged. ‘Nothing for you to worry about. Just inserting some pins into my ankles.’

‘There’s a fresh bruise on your cheek.’

‘Oh?’ Touching it with his cotton club also dabbed off a small spot of blood. ‘Oh, yeah, that was Tarin. I
asked her to scratch my nose, but you know. Her first fitting for a prosthetic hand. Little trouble with the robotics. But don’t you go taking any issues with her over it. I kinda like the way she makes up. Oh, and don’t think I haven’t noticed your feeble attempts to switch topics. I came to see you, young lady.’

‘You’re feeling that much better already?’

‘Drop the subject of me. Last warning. Oh, crap. Now my left ear is itchy.’

‘Would you let me scratch it?’

‘Would I ever.’ He rolled closer, but as her hand found his soft thick curls, her traitorous fingers turned the scratch into a stolen moment of exploration. She never had managed to get to know him as well as she’d wanted to.

‘Oh, yeah. That’s it.’ He lolled his tongue, hamming it up unexpectedly. ‘Magic hands.’

Mira flinched her wrists away from him. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to …’

He left the silence hanging awkwardly for a long moment. Not for the first time, but seeing him at the same time, she could now see him enjoying it.

‘You might as well talk,’ he warned playfully. ‘The hospital here is well stocked with truth serum.’

‘Really? I didn’t know that.’

‘Don’t make me call a nurse, young lady. The staff all side with me now, haven’t you heard?’

‘I heard.’

‘If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, right?’

‘Actually, I prefer: if you can’t beat ’em, own ’em. But you have to start somewhere.’

‘I also hear you like the uniform?’

‘Only one, and to be honest, I prefer him out of it. I suspect you like it a little yourself now?’

‘Only Tarin’s, and I prefer her out of it too.’ He winked, making her realise he meant in a far more intimate way. ‘Did you know she keeps a machine
pistol in her purse? And yet she really knows how to fluff my pillows, amongst other things.’

‘Obviously you’re still into painkillers. If I were you, I’d be more cautious of a knife in her garter belt.’

‘Oh, definitely. Found that already. Very sexy.’

Mira blushed, wondering how Gabby would cope with such a conversation.

‘You don’t mind?’ he asked, leaning to see her face, despite her meek attempt to turn away. ‘I mean, I know we started something, but … I’ve seen you with
him
. Really kicked me in the guts the first time, but I have to be honest. He makes you glow. Literally radiant.’

‘Really?’

‘Quite amazing, actually. Makes you even more lovely. No, wait. Don’t tell me he’s never mentioned it?’

‘He did say something, but …’ She’d never thought of her body as anything except invisible. She knew she radiated light energy, same as everybody, but when Lockman called her amazing, she’d never guessed that her super-sensitive skin might react more than usual to a flush of emotions. ‘I guess I must have misunderstood him.’

‘Well, that happens.’ He nodded knowingly. ‘Different species, men and women, and that’s even … you know, without any of the weird stuff going on in our genes. But you’ll cope.’ He chuckled and tried to scratch his head again. ‘Hell, you can cope with anything, with or without me. So it’s probably also time to discuss that other little thing.’

‘Ahh, sure, I guess.’

‘Shall I start first, for a change?’

‘Oh, yes please.’

‘Do you want to sit? Maybe hold my … ah … paw?’

‘If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather stand very still.’ She supported her ribs, which only hurt when she tried to sit, stand, lie down, roll over, walk or breathe.

‘We can do this later, if you’re not up to it.’

‘You taught me to face my demons, and the sooner the better.’

‘Well, okay, but feel free to interrupt any time. In fact that basically sums it up. It’s time to set you free, Mira. Once and for all time. Even from me. You deserve it.’

‘I thought I was already. Current military walls, guards and fences notwithstanding.’

‘I don’t mean physically, or even emotionally. I mean spiritually. You need to be free to love someone deeply, truly and unreservedly, in a way that we can’t, given our history. And if Lockman can make you feel that way … if he’s really your soul mate, then so be it. I won’t make any waves.’

‘Hang on. Are you dumping me? Onto
him
?’

‘Don’t think of it that way. We started as friends and grew closer, so we still are, I’d like to hope.’

‘Despite all the brainwashing, and vomiting at the first thought of my name?’

‘That was baloney. And I mean, real hospital food baloney — for breakfast that day. My mother has been messing with us, Mira. Just like she always has with every girl I’ve ever known since kindergarten. At first I blamed Lockman, but now my head’s clear … I found the note in the joey’s pouch with her attempts at mimicking my handwriting. Having my own place on my own island didn’t work out, so I have to get away further than that.’

Mira frowned, reminded of Mel’s visit. ‘Speaking of your mother, I should warn you —’

He shook his head and signalled her to stop with his giant cotton wool paw. ‘This isn’t about her. It’s about us. And as much as I hate to admit it, I could never be the best boyfriend for you — and I’m not only saying that because I dislike your new man so much, or that you fell for him while we were still … Well, let’s not say any more about that. I’m guilty too. Suffice to say that
he and I grate like sandpaper. But I can respect him, and he can respect me, and that means I can still be your friend, or perhaps, if I’m really lucky, something closer. Like maybe a big brother? Then I can invoke the unwritten law to beat the shit out of him, if he ever hurts you.’

Mira grinned. ‘I’d buy tickets to that.’ She remembered him waking on the gurney in the bunker. ‘
Goofy
big brother. Do you still think you’re invincible?’

He laughed. Music to her ears, even though she knew he must be hurting too.

‘Hey, that Chinese wonder drug was really something, wasn’t it? After I fell off that gurney, I was dancing on the ceiling with monkeys.’ He tried to jive about in the wheelchair as a demonstration, but only managed to hurt himself more and make his wheels squeak. ‘Everyone keeps saying there may be a positive, long-lasting after-effect, but I must be the lab rat who scored the placebo. Or else it skipped me.’

‘Is that right?’ She tried not to smile. ‘So you’re every bit as stern as you’ve always been?’

His nose wrinkled up. ‘You thought I was
stern
?’

‘Okay, that wasn’t the right word. You have a beautiful heart, Ben. But there’s always been a great weight on it that seems to be gone now.’

‘Which brings us back to the subject of Tarin.’

‘So you really do like her?’

He nodded sincerely. ‘She blows me away. I tried to fight it, but … we just connected somehow. I don’t want to hurt you, breaking the news like this, Mira, but when I came round finally, and found her asleep at my bedside, I realised that what I feel for her is on a level so deep —’

‘It’s like every cell in your body is chemically aligned with her.’ She nodded, knowingly. ‘That’s what it’s like for me and him. You haven’t hurt me, Ben. I’m actually thrilled to think you could be as happy as me.’

‘So we’re still, tight, right? You and me, as friends?’

Mira’s smile widened to a grin. ‘Tighter than a duck’s bum, as the rock star would say. But I do have one little question that’s been nagging me.’

‘Name it.’

‘I’d rather not bring down the mood again.’

‘Name the demon and we’ll blast it.’

‘
Military
hospital.’

‘Whoa, that
is
a downer. You still value honesty, though, right?’

‘I’m wavering a little, still learning to be flexible.’

‘Well, then I’ll tell you straight for
my
sake.’ He sighed heavily. ‘I needed peace of mind to know you were safe. Lockman may grate on me for personal reasons, but I’ve come to appreciate he’s got a whole set of skills that I underestimated. Tarin’s I saw for myself, but the medics put them both between us in triage — and wasn’t
that
a battle all by itself. Lockman’s got a loyalty to you that’s fiercer than any lion’s. And you were down for the count. No next of kin, with me as the nearest thing, so I made the call.’

‘Yet feeling that way, you still enlisted? Please tell me, for your sake, it was only to be closer to Tarin.’

‘Partly, but I also had to stay close to you and make sure they didn’t mess with you. At least until you woke enough to take care of yourself.’

‘Oh, Ben.’

‘Stop right there.’ He waved his comical cotton paw at her again. ‘Don’t you dare feel sorry for me, young lady, or I
will
have to be stern. You’re forgetting my ulterior motive. I’m a guy chasing a girl.’

Mira laughed, regretting it instantly. ‘Ow, ow, ow!’ She clutched her ribs. ‘Bad boy. Don’t make me laugh.’ She scooped up the sleeping joey and hung the pouch on her bed corner. ‘Don’t expect any arguments either,’ she added. ‘That was the old me.’

‘Yeah, and isn’t that just my luck. I finally score a little sis, and she’s all grown up with a dependent already.’

‘Blame yourself for that too. The grown-up bit, that is. Not the furry dependent.’ She wondered if she should ask how much he knew of Kitching’s plan for making more little monsters like her and Freddie, and how close Ben had come to becoming the surrogate father. He probably didn’t know about the contraceptive they’d injected into him, but she decided not to worry him about it just yet. She’d grown up enough to carry a burden for him for a change, and it was due to wear off in a month anyway.

Ben puffed himself up, as if he’d let his mind stray into uncomfortable territory too. ‘What doesn’t kill us still hurts a lot, right?’

Mira shrugged. ‘I’d rather no dying from now on.’

‘Amen, sister. Do you think I’ll measure up for the new job?’

She nodded with all her heart. ‘Absolutely. You’re off the charts.’

‘Great, because I hear the general’s assembling a crack team for standby security for any of your friends who’ll need it.’

‘You do realise you’re on that list?’

He shook his head, playfully. ‘I have my own army now, and I was wondering if, maybe, you know, if bootcamp doesn’t kill me first, your crack squad might need a goofy mascot?’

‘Or maybe you could be Adam’s deputy? Then, even if you get kicked out of the army, you still get to work with Tarin.’

‘Ouch. That could get interesting.’

‘Which reminds me …’ Mira chewed on her lip, wondering if she should mention that other woman who still had an issue with Ben.

‘Uh-oh,’ he said. ‘I know that face.’

‘Another demon, sorry.’

‘Great. More target practice.’

‘It’s your mum.’

He threw up his cotton paws in silent exasperation.

‘She was in here about ten minutes ago. Have you spoken to her since then?’

‘Why? Hasn’t every ten minutes for the past week been enough?’

‘I’m serious. She’s really looking for you.’

‘I know. I’m doing laps of the halls trying to avoid her. I saw her come in here, and thought I’d be safe for a while.’

Footsteps approached, and Ben craned his neck, straining to listen.

‘Relax, it’s just a male nurse.’

‘How can you hear it’s a male?’ he asked. ‘Wait.’

A male medic knocked and poked his head around the door. ‘Code red,’ he said, and kept heading away along the corridor.

Benny grinned. ‘Explain later.’ He lowered his right paw gently onto the joystick, preparing to leave.

‘Hey, what’s a code red? Do we need to evacuate?’

‘You don’t, but I do. If Mum still wants to treat me like a child, I’m still playing hide and seek.’

‘What do they call that in the army? Dodge the bullet?’

‘Something like that. My nurse is off now to arrange my getaway in a tank.’

‘Oh, very mature.’

Ben chuckled and rolled out backwards, grinning at her all the way. ‘This visit has been brought to you by the letters alpha and beta, and the NATO number nadazero.’

‘What? No lesson for the day?’

‘Take your pick. Some guys never grow up. Tough guys don’t need to grow up. Or, where mothers are concerned, you’re always their kid.’

As he turned right around, she caught sight of a bottle of Glenfiddich leaning over in a carry basket at the back of the wheelchair, with a huge home-made postcard with
Get Well
at the top, closely followed by
Might as well. Nobody believes your slack-arse cover story anyway.

Two furry paw prints signed across the middle, along with the unreadable scrawl of a human signature, and more typed print in smaller font below it, but Ben vanished out the door before she could read it all.

She headed for the door, supporting her ribs in a renewed effort to find Lockman herself, but as she passed through the place where Ben’s wheelchair had been, curiosity got the better of her.

Sparing a few seconds, she adjusted her hues, scrolled time back a few seconds more and managed to make out the rest of the note.

About that bet, Benny. I win. Military involved. Pay up a crate of Lucky Dog tins, or I’ll find someone to demonstrate police brutality on your butt. Woof.