Legacy: The Girl in the Box #8 (29 page)

I didn’t. Just my own looking back at me.

I leaned toward Janus. “Do you remember that time in the elevator at Omega? When I asked you if I was monster?” I felt myself fill with emotion. “You told me a monster wouldn’t care.” I held my hand over my mouth, like I was trying to hold in what was attempting to force its way out. “I’m not sure I care anymore, not when it comes to Century. I want to stop them, mostly, but it’s more than that now. I want to hurt them. Hurt Weissman for what he did to you, to the others. For how he made me feel—powerless, like I was a nothing. I want to break him,” I said, and felt the burn in my words. “I want to crush him, him and his boss.” I felt myself sniff a little. “It makes me wonder if you would think me a monster for wanting to do that, or if you’d reassure me the way you did in that elevator.” I felt a little warmth in my eyes. “Because I can’t remember anyone doing that for me before, not like that.” I sniffled, and felt the wetness on my cheeks. “Like my dad maybe would have done, if he’d been alive to do it.”

I heard the door swish open and I hurriedly wiped my cheeks clear. I kept my head turned away from the door even as I heard light footsteps make their way over to me. I kept my eyes on Janus, turned away from the figure approaching me, even though I knew who it was.

“It’s so sweet of you to come visit,” Kat said as she stopped next to the chair. “I know it means a lot to him.”

“Yeah?” I rubbed my wrist under my nose and tried to avoid sniffling. “I’ve heard they can hear us, even in a coma.”

“I’ve heard that too.” She put a hand lightly on my shoulder.

“I need to get him out of here,” I said, and stood abruptly. “We need to move him quietly to somewhere safe, off campus, like a hospital elsewhere in the country. No one’s going to know who he is if he’s at Abbott Northwestern in Minneapolis. Here, with us, he’s a sitting duck. It’s an invitation for Century to murder him while he’s sleeping.”

“No,” Kat said quietly. I had yet to look her in the face. “He trusted you, Sienna. He believed in you. He would want to be here.”

“The storm’s here, Kat,” I said, toneless, watching the monitor above his bed. “The one we’ve heard about, it’s arriving, and it’s going to hit us right here on campus—again. I practically called it down on us. I need the few metas who can still fight, and I need them up front with me, not protecting others.” I looked sidelong at her, just a glance, and saw her trying to catch my eye. I quickly looked away. “He’s not safe here.”

“He’s not safe anywhere,” she replied. “He wouldn’t want to leave. I don’t want to leave.”

“Did Karthik come talk to you?”

“He did,” she said. “Sienna, you don’t need to worry about us. We’ll stay out of your way. I’ll protect him as best I can, and if I can’t ...” She shrugged, and I saw it out of the corner of my eye. “Then it’s the way things will be. I’m not going to run from them. Not now.” She took his hand, holding it carefully in her own. “I’m tired of running from them, and he wouldn’t want to hide in anonymity, waiting for the world to end around him.”

“Here he’s just another lightning rod,” I said, staring at the frail figure on the bed. “Just another target that Century wants dead.”

“Maybe we’ll buy you some time to hit them back,” she said, and I caught the hint of wistfulness in her voice.

“I don’t want you to buy me time,” I said, and looked up at her. “I don’t want anyone to buy me time.”

There was a silence for a few minutes after that, a kind of peaceful calm punctuated only by the beeping of the machine.

“What is it about him?” I asked, and looked at her. “What brought you two together?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Kat said, and took his hand in hers, holding his limp fingers in her grip. “When I met him, I was ... completely blank. I didn’t know my name, what had happened, I had no idea what I was or anything about myself.” She squeezed his hand in hers as the respirator pushed up and down behind us with a gasp. “He was so kind. My only friend, really.” She looked at me, but I didn’t look back. “Do you know what that’s like? To be alone in a sea of people, not really sure about yourself, trying to figure out if there’s a friendly face in it somewhere?”

“Yes,” I whispered. “I believe I’m familiar with that.”

“It’s a lonely experience,” she said. “He was there for me during that, guiding me along, making me feel like someone cared.” Her hand let his go. “He made it easier, learning again, finding out who I was. He helped me define myself, figure out who I was just by being him.”

“But you forgot him,” I said, staring at Janus’s closed eyes, his slack face.

“Yes,” she said. “I did.” It was barely a whisper.

“How did it happen?” I asked, cocking my head to look at her.

“I ... I don’t remember,” she said. “I honestly have no idea. Sometimes I think I get ... little flashes? But nothing that sticks. It’s like there’s a wall, and the things I can see of him are on the other side of it, but there are things I’m missing now, too, like ...” she looked over her shoulder, “... like Scott. It’s still so uncomfortable to walk past him in the hallways, did you know that?”

“I can imagine,” I said. “I don’t think it’d be easy to deal with the fact that your first love has completely forgotten you.”

“Yeah,” she said. “Anyway, I can’t imagine leaving this place again before the storm. If nothing else, maybe we draw some of Century in and keep them busy for you.” She turned and looked at me. “He was in this fight. He believed in beating them, believed you could do it, that you’d save us all somehow. I can’t take him away now, even if it means his death. He’d be so upset with me.”

“All right,” I said, and tasted the bitter reluctance. “You can stay. Just ... be careful. And ...” I looked her over. “Are you armed?” She nodded. “Good. You’re a fair shot with a pistol, and you may be dealing with mercenaries again. Either way, aim for the head and the heart, because if you’re fighting metas, that’s the only thing that’ll kill a strong one.”

“I’ve got my powers, too,” she said with a little twinkle in her eyes. “I can do things you haven’t seen yet.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” I said and brushed past her on the way to the exit. “Take care, Kat.”

“Sienna,” she called to me, and I turned, looking back as the doors opened for me. “I believe in you, too. That you can save us. I believe it with everything I have.”

I tried to take a breath, tried to feel the calm of her words, but there was no solace in them. Not for me, the person everyone was counting on. “I wish everyone felt the same as you did.” I turned and walked out, thinking to myself that what I really wished was that I was one of them.

Night fell, darkness swooping down on us like an unwelcome guest. Preparations had been made, quietly, and some were off attending to them even now. Karthik and my mother were absent, as was Reed, still. I hadn’t seen him since he’d thrown his badge down at the meeting. I stared at Scott, who sat on the arm of my couch, rubbing his fingers against his leather jacket. Ariadne sat in the chair across from me, as did Li, who was studying the smartphone in his hands as though it carried the secrets of life itself. Kurt was in the corner, looking surly but representing the human agents, what few of them we had.

“Where are we at?” I announced, breaking the grim silence.

“Dormitory is locked down,” Kurt said. “Only way in or out is through HQ, the basement tunnel.”

“Good,” I said, nodding, my stomach churning.

“All non-security personnel are furloughed,” Ariadne said, looking up at me. “All the essential ones are working out of the FBI building for the foreseeable future. Hopefully Century will restrict their activities to our metahumans, for now.”

I nodded. That was a careful calculation; honestly Sovereign could jump the rails at any time, could go hold someone like J.J. hostage in his apartment, but I simply did not have the resources to try and protect every employee in the Agency. “Just like old times, huh?” I asked Ariadne with a weak smile.

“You mean like just before the last time our campus was utterly destroyed?” She was completely devoid of humor. “As I recall, the aftermath of that one left us with quite the prodigious body count as well.”

“You should get out while you can,” I said gently, staring at her. “Just ... go, run.”

“To Bora Bora?” She looked like a world of sad had descended on her. “Now more than ever, I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

“Any clue where Reed went?” I asked the room, pretty sure I wasn’t going to get an answer.

“Your mom talked to him,” Scott said. “He’s with her.”

I blinked. “Really? Like ... dead in her trunk?”

Scott let out a low guffaw. “I don’t think so. Pretty sure he’s guarding the metas with her and Karthik.” He gave me a sideways wink. “He’s still pissed at you for picking suicide detail, but he knows he’s got a role to fill, and he’ll fill it.”

I turned my chair sideways so I could look out the window to the dark campus behind me. In the distance I could see the dormitory building, a dark shadow on a dark night. I knew that just beyond it, the science building was still out there, and I could see the faint hints of the girders rising above the woods that circled the campus. “Good for him,” I said. I turned back around and looked at Li, his smartphone in hand. “Mr. Li, I believe it’d be better for your health if you joined our associates at the FBI building for the next week or two.”

He looked at me with something that looked like burning fury, just for a moment, and then I caught a hint of relief. “I’ll think about it.”

“They could use some watchful eyes on them,” I said gently. “And if we fall out here, someone’s going to need to be in place to pick up where we leave off.”

I saw him grit his teeth. “I’m no coward.”

“Not saying you are. This isn’t your fight, though.” He started to argue, and I held up a hand. “Not yet, anyway. If you wanted to delay, you’re certainly welcome to an off-campus assignment.”

“I think I’ll stay here, thanks,” he said tightly. “But if there’s nothing else, I’ve got a few more reports I should be checking on in my office.”

“Sure,” I said with a nod, and he stood, leaving in a smoking big hurry.

Kurt watched him go then looked over at me. “I’m gonna go line up the agents one more time, tell them that as crazy as they are, at least their families will get a nice payout if they buy it.” I started to say something, but he stopped me. “That’s not really what I’m gonna say. I’ll come up with something appropriate.” He licked his lips. “Maybe something from
Patton
. These kids are young enough they’ve probably never even seen it.” With that, he exited, letting the door shut behind him quietly.

“I suppose I’ll go comb some reports, too,” Ariadne said and stood slowly, like an old woman, weary and aged. She probably wasn’t but a year or two over forty, but she walked like someone who had had all the life taken out of her. I wondered how much of it was my fault and decided to take the balance of the blame on myself.

“Ariadne,” I said, and she stopped at the door. “For what it’s worth—and probably zero, I’m sure—I’m sorry.”

She stiffened, not even turning back, and then walked out, shutting the door behind her.

“That was tense,” Scott said. “It’s like these people think they’re going to die or something.”

“I’m surprised you can find room for a joke in a moment like this.”

“Reminds me of that time when Century was about to shoot us dead,” Scott said with a slight smile. “And you called me an asshole.”

“I did not.” I frowned at him.

“Well, that was the subtext,” he said and shot me a grin.

“You didn’t have to be here for this,” I said and looked at him sadly.

“Last time, I checked out before the big dance with Omega,” he said, “and ... Zack died. I should have been here. Maybe I could have done something, changed things somehow.” His expression turned serious. “I’ll always think I could have done something, even if the truth is that I might have died right along with him.”

I nodded slowly. “I doubt Winter would have killed you. Probably just had Clary knock you out or something.” Scott sauntered on over to my desk and made his way around the edge. “You know, because he was looking to turn me into a killer, not just murder people for the sake of it.” I paused, frowning. “Well, except for Bjorn.”

Scott gingerly lowered himself down onto the desk in front of me, sitting at an angle, legs hanging over the edge. It was a more natural way to talk, I supposed, than doing so from across the office. “Do you remember that road trip we took?”

“Kinda hard to forget it, since it ended in the aforementioned episode of us running through the woods and almost getting killed by Century mercenaries.” I frowned in concentration as a thought occurred to me. “Where do they find this endless supply of gun thugs?”

“I was a pretty bad influence on you that trip.” He ignored my wry observation and gave me a twisted smile. “How much did you end up drinking?”

“A lot,” I admitted. “Enough to nearly land me in bed with that—actual, real—asshole Fries.”

“I could kind of understand that,” he said. “You and Zack had broken up,” I felt a twinge at the mention of Zack’s name, “you were ... tired of not being able to ...” he shrugged, “... do what ... couples do.”

“You know what really pushed it over the edge?” I asked, leaning back in my chair. “It was watching you and Kat all the time. It was like I got my first look at what a happy couple should be, outside of the television, and I wanted my life to look like that. I wanted to be able to sleep with my boyfriend without killing him.” I laughed, kind of rueful. “Stupid, huh?”

“I don’t think it’s stupid at all,” he said and shifted on the desk. “I think it’s pretty natural.”

“Yeah, well, it didn’t end so well.”

“What, like that was your fault?”

I sighed. “My skin killed him. My touch killed him. So, yeah, if you want to look at it at a literal level, yes, it was my fault. If you want to zoom out to the metaphorical level, if he hadn’t been my boyfriend, Winter wouldn’t have used him as leverage against me, so he’d still be alive.” I waved my hand at him. “I’ve made my peace with it long ago, but yes, I still think it’s my fault.”