Leaping (15 page)

Jordan
leaped off her and went right to the door, which he shut. Seth was in the
kitchen and the bedroom was in a short hall off that. She got up and put her
clothes on, but not nearly as frantically as Jordan was putting on his.

"It's
alright," she said to him softly, kissing him, one hand on the doorknob.

She
went out, closing Jordan in the room.

"What
is it?" Jordan heard her say.

"I
didn't see you," Seth said.

"I
was in the back…with Jordan. You said you weren't coming."

"I
changed my mind," he said.

"We'll
be along. You can take those sacks for me."

Jordan
quickly righted his clothes and ran his hands through his hair. He ripped the
sheets off the bed and went in the kitchen holding those. He was in time to see
Seth angrily grab the sacks his mother had pointed out before he stormed out
the door.

"He's
embarrassed," Cori said.

"He
knows we were…he's not stupid," Jordan said. He sighed and leaned on the
counter. "We can't do this, sneak around like two high school kids."

"It
was a bad idea. I just…I needed you. I need you."

He set the sheets on
the table and went to her and put his arms around her. "I love you,"
he said. "I'm thirty-two years old. There was a day I was actively looking
for you.
Now?
You came to me. And I don't want to let
you go."

"What
are you saying?"

"I
know it freaks you out. I know you were burned. But…you've got a kid and he
doesn't need some lover-boy…."

"So
you mean…?"

“Marriage.
We don't have to rush in, we don't have
to be officially engaged today or tomorrow, but moving that way should be our
intention."

"Is
it your intention, Jordan?"

"Yes.
Is it yours, Miss Weston?"

"I…want
you."

"That's
a yes?"

"I…am
scared."

"You're
just excited. It feels almost the same. Damn close."

Jordan
and Cori came back to the house with their arms loaded. They put the foodstuffs
in the kitchen, but Cori's clothes and personal things they took to her
bedroom.

Seth
was holed up in his room. Jordan knocked softly as the door was partially open.
Seth said to come in. He was perched on his bed drawing.

"Hey,"
Jordan said. "Want to go the water?"

"No,"
Seth said, not taking his eyes off the sketch pad.

"I
was thinking it would be good for you and me to have a talk."

"So
talk."

"I
mean about me and your mom."

"No
thanks."

"Look,
Seth…."

"I
don't want to hear about it. Jeez." He stretched out on his side, back to
Jordan.

It
reminded him of the day they'd met. Like two days ago.

"Yeah,
well…whatever. C'mon, it's decent enough outside you don't want to be cooped up
in here. We're going out on the pier."

"Go."

"We'll
work up an appetite and eat at one of the restaurants on the beach."

Jordan
doubted food would be much of a draw for Seth, but he stood there until Seth
slammed his sketch pad down, the martyr. He'd been drawing some demonic looking
warlord. Jordan wasn't in the mood to feign fascination. This kid spent too
much time in the dark side of his head.

Paul
was on a fresh scallop run, and Alisha wanted to work a bit. She asked that
they call when they reached a restaurant for lunch and she and Paul would drive
and meet them.

So
Cori and Jordan and Seth set out. Seth was out front, quiet, hands in pockets,
head down. Jordan and Cori walked behind. Cori was finding shells, not
collecting, just appreciating. Seth started to look at her finds, keeping his
hands buried in his hoodie. Soon he walked with them, beside Cori. Jordan
didn't have much to say. His newfound understanding with Cori had lifted the
awkwardness that pervaded the morning. Now that he'd declared his intentions,
and she'd reciprocated, his self-respect was in-tact.

He
meant them good.

Finally
they stood on the end of the pier and watched the waves churn into the
dun-colored sky-line. They went into the town then, as it began the far side of
the pier, where the beach soon ended. There were some shops, open despite the
off-season. They wandered in and out. Seth seemed to appreciate shopping, more
than Jordan would have thought, but then he was just getting to know him.

He was interested in
the junk in a gift shop. When he wanted something he didn't ask permission, but
had the means to buy it for himself. He bought a T-shirt and a CD. Then he
bought candy.

He
had no trouble at all eating the candy. They sat in an abandoned outdoor theater.
Beyond the stage they were close to the water. Jordan had bought himself and
Cori a coffee to balance the cold wind blowing from the direction of the water.

"
You missing
school?" Jordan asked Seth.

"No,"
he said vehemently, before he tipped a stick of some gross sugary candy into
his mouth.

"Not
a fan, right?" Jordan said.

"I
hate school," Seth said. "I said that already."

"You
didn't say you hated it," Jordan said.

"I
wish I never had to go back there," he added.

"Seth,"
Cori said tiredly.

"It's
the truth. I hate Danville."

"You
don't mean that," Cori said.

"I
do too. I hate it without Grandpa." Seth stood up and threw the frozen
drink he'd bought himself. It splashed red on the bottom of the cement stage
they sat before.

Some
of the drink splashed onto Jordan's pant legs. "Shit," Jordan said
under his breath, but Seth heard him.

"Shit
on you," he yelled. "She's my mother."

Jordan
stood up. "Hey…she may be your mother, but it's not cool to act like a
baby. Go pick up that cup."

Had
he thought it over he might not have said things just that way. He wasn't
Seth's father and had no right to act like it, but he was used to kids and
keeping order and it just came back to him before he thought it out.

Cori
stood, too. "Calm down," she said to Seth. "Sit down and calm
down."

Seth
ignored Cori and he stalked off down the broad avenue that bordered the shops.

"I'm
sorry about that," Cori said, sitting again, her eyes on Seth's retreat.

"About
him?
I always heard you can't apologize for what someone else does."

"It's
his rage."

"His
rage?
Really?"

"Yes
really. I told you he has PTSD."

"Okay.
Whatever.
He can't just be an asshole sometimes? He
has to have a psychological excuse?"

"I'm
not going to get pinned to the wall by you. I'm a parent, Jordan. Don't second-guess
everything I do."

He
thought he heard wrong. He couldn't believe it. There was a fiery look in her
eyes though. Well, he had called Seth a baby.
And an asshole.
So be it. He wasn't taking that back.

"You
think we should go after him? Or I will. You stay here," she said.

"Cori,"
he took her wrist, "since you asked…I've got to say, he seems intelligent.
You think he's going to run away?"

"No,"
she said. "But…he can react. He does that."

"He
already threw his shit. If he throws something else, like a rock or some old woman's
dog…then he'll get in trouble with security. Maybe that's what he needs…a
reality check."

"Yeah…I'm
his parent Jordan. He's had plenty of reality."

Jordan
put his hands up in an attitude of surrender. "Sorry to cross the line. I
guess the next time he cusses me out I'll remember he's had too much
reality."

"Are
you going to keep being sarcastic?" She got up then and marched after her
son. Her son was no longer visible, but she went in the general direction.

Jordan went after her.
"Cori, wait."

She
stopped and turned.
"Right now?
You have shown me
something small in yourself…something cruel. I'm going to find my son…and then
I'm going to think about my return ticket home.
Right now?
I don't want to look at you."

She
stalked off then…just like Seth had. And Jordan did the same…in the opposite
direction.

Chapter
19

The
day Seth ran away, all the way back to the beach house, without telling anyone
where he was going, without answering his cell phone,
was
the longest day in the history of Jordan's world.

He'd
taken off in his own direction,
then
gotten frustrated
at his own frustration, if such a thing were possible and he could attest that
it was. Then he'd gone after Cori, balls in his hands, and asked her to forgive
him, and he wasn't sure for what, but it no longer mattered. She had held onto
his arm for a moment, her head down, and nodded silently. Then he helped her
look for Seth.

When
Seth wasn't in any of the shops they called the beach house, but Alisha had not
seen him. Turns out Alisha had not seen him because Seth had returned to the
house and snuck in to his room like a Ninja. On returning home and discovering
this, Jordan wisely kept his mouth shut, but it was between them, and she
pretty well kept her hair in the way most of the night, only looking at him on
occasion and then just long enough to escape back into the curtain.

Paul
and Alisha pretended not to notice the atmosphere, and proceeded to cook and
lay out a great dinner of fresh scallops, macaroni and cheese for Seth and a
great apple and cashew salad. They also rented a couple of movies which
afforded everyone something to stare at in the ever-more stifling confines of
the house. Then a storm came in and knocked out the power and Cori retreated to
bed but not before Jordan heard her tell Seth he could sleep in her room if the
storm upset him.

The
kid was twelve years old.

Jordan
was sitting on the porch with Paul, sharing a front row seat to the storm, the
ocean's roil, and a beer. Paul was a great companion for someone feeling like
shit. They'd shared many such sessions of easy silence over the years,
particularly since the incident.

So
it was blow wind, blow, and lo and behold Seth came out on the porch.
"What are you doing," he asked them.

"Have
a seat," Paul said, tipping his bottle toward the row of lounge chairs
just waiting for a warm backside.

Seth
plopped down on one of them. "It looks like the end times," he said.

Jordan
realized Seth was afraid.

"Nah,"
he said, taking a sip of his beer. "No trumpets."

Paul
snickered, but it could barely be heard. He loved to call Jordan 'the warped
theologian.'

Next
Jordan knew Seth moved to the empty chair right beside him. There was lightning
over the ocean. Jordan's arms suddenly ached to hold Cori. Why had they let
anything come between him?
Even this crap with Seth.
It was no big deal, so why had he let it become one?

"What
if they're blasting and we can't hear them," Seth said.

"Hear what?"
Jordan asked taking another long drink.

"The
trumpets," Seth said sternly.

"No
door open in the sky, no man on a white horse," Paul went on.

"Is
that what it will be like? When the world ends?" Seth's voice grew more
intense.

"Maybe,"
Jordan answered. Was Seth serious about this?

"You
think it's true? You think there's hell?"

"Yes,"
Jordan answered. "Seth…
enjoy
the show, man. We're
safe here."

"Like…when
will
he
end it?" Seth said.

"Not
for a long time," Jordan said back. "It's not our worry. We're at the
beach. You should have tried those scallops." He smiled at Seth, but that
one only swallowed and looked back at the black angry water and the rips of lightning.

"What
if you were out there right now? What if you were on a little boat?" Seth
asked.

"Better
than no boat," Paul said lazily. "Jaws, man."

Jordan
looked sharply at his brother-in-law. Paul didn't realize how serious this kid
was.
Jaws?
Not now.

"I'm
never going in the ocean," Seth announced.

"Yes
you are," Paul said.

"No
I'm not," Seth got louder.

"We're
going out there tomorrow," Paul continued.

"We
are?" Jordan said. First he'd heard about it.

"I've
got a call in to Dave. If he gets back to me early enough we're going
fishing."

"Not
me," Seth repeated.

"What?"
Paul said. "You can't miss a chance to fish on the ocean, man."

"He
doesn't have to go," Jordan said. "But…I hope you will." He
looked straight at Seth, feeling the manipulation in his blood, the family DNA.

"Why?
You don't need me along," Seth said.

"It'd
be cool.
Just us guys.
Bringing home
the bacon."

"If
pigs could swim," Paul sang.

Seth
smiled. "How long are we out there?"

"Four
hours," Paul said.

"What
if I get sick out there?" Seth.

Oh,
he'd actually put himself in the boat now. Paul smiled at Jordan.

"You
hurl over the side and the ocean gets a little bigger," Paul said.

Jordan
knew he'd had a few.

"Yeah,
no big deal out there," Jordan said.

"Feed
the gulls," Paul again.

Seth
laughed a little. "Gross."

They
were quiet for a while, the lights flickering as the storm moved off, then coming
on for real sending bright patches onto the porch.

"I
don't know," Seth said, bird-dogging on it.

"Well,"
Jordan said casually, "the
world don't
end…one
way or another. You decide. No biggie."

"Nothing
like the feel of a big fish on the line," Paul sighed.

"Oh
yeah," Jordan said, and they clinked bottles.

"Can
I have a beer?" Seth asked.

They
snickered some, but were noncommittal.
Hell no he couldn't
have one.

In
bed that night Jordan stared at the ceiling, hands cradling his head. He
thought of Cori and Seth, how it must have been for her, the long days and
nights at the hospital, leaving only to attend her dad's funeral.

A
husband who was nothing.
He thought of her…alone, how scared she must have been. The bond those two had,
he wondered…she had come for him. She picked him.

It
was a privilege…and a damn big job…to be allowed here…and possibly resented at
the same time.

But he was willing.
That was the thing. He had that commitment thing. James Carson had committed.
But so had he. And his kind of commitment went on forever.

His
kind of commitment…endured.

When
she came to him, and he knew she would, wrong as it was, right as it felt, he
rolled toward her and pulled her close. There were only so many words…that
would help. But this,
lying
together, his arms around
her, her holding on, it was the thing that might get them through.

He
kissed the side of her face and tasted the salty damp. She'd been crying and
came to him...like Seth might to her. They were three bowling pins in a basket,
being shaken by life and wobbling into one another. He'd have to allow it. He'd
have to remind himself to let it be, let it shake out.

"I
love you," he whispered, and that brought new, quiet tears. He reached
behind him for a Kleenex from the box on the nightstand, and he handed her
this, and she whispered thank you.

And
that was all for now. That was enough.