Land of My Heart (22 page)

Dianne smiled. “It’s so good to see you. I’ve wanted to come find you—to talk about all that has happened. But Mama’s taken worse and the work has been so hard.”

Faith nodded. “I heard it from Malachi. He talked to your brothers. That’s why I brought you this.” She extended the crock. “It’s smoked ham and beans. I took the last of the meat we purchased at that little store at Sweetwater.”

“How in the world could you afford it?” Dianne took the crock and lifted the lid to breathe in the aroma. “I thought their prices outrageous. Zane actually did business with the man and sold him some goods. The fellow didn’t want to pay much of anything, but then Zane pointed out the prices he had on his goods and the fellow relented and paid up.”

Faith smiled. “Malachi helped out a bit. Since we laid over there, Malachi was able to help the blacksmith take care of the wagon train’s needs. The man paid Malachi and so we had a nice bit of extra. The ham was just too good to pass up.”

“I’m sure we’ll enjoy it.We have some extra milk, although the cows aren’t giving as much. I think all the travel and the poor feed has caused it. I’m happy to share it with you.”

“Thanks, that would be nice,” Faith said, her expression sobering. “I was sure sorry about your sister. I stayed away knowing that I’d probably just upset your mama. I’ve been praying for all of you, however.”

Tears came to Dianne’s eyes. “I still can’t believe they’re both gone. It was bad enough after Ardith was lost, but now Betsy. I mothered her as if she were my own and now she’s gone too.”

Faith nodded. “I know. It’s never a simple matter to say good-bye.”

Dianne thought of Charity’s words the day they’d dressed Betsy for the funeral. “Faith, do you think God still loves us, even when He allows these bad things to happen?”

“I know He does, Dianne.”

“How, Faith? How can you be sure?”

Faith smiled sadly. “Slavery.”

Dianne shook her head. “I don’t understand. How can slavery be proof that God still loves you?”

“Because in spite of the pain and suffering brought on by that horrible situation, I came to know that God really cared about me—me as a person. Knowing that, and knowing that He was there for me, allowed me to get through all of the bad things. I knew there would never come a time when anything could be worse than what I’d already endured. There’s a liberty in that, Dianne. And a liberty in turning it all over to the One who knows the future. You can’t change things by wallowing in the sorrow, but everything changes when you trust in Him.”

Dianne took up a pan and poured the ham and beans into it so that she could give Faith back the crock. “You make it sound so simple.”

“Does it have to be hard?”

“I suppose not. Guess I’m always making things harder than they have to be. I try not to, but things happen that concern me.”

“Like what, for instance?” Faith asked softly.

Dianne sighed. “I’m worried about Mama, Faith. Mrs. Showalter came to see her at the nooning. I don’t like that woman to begin with. She’s so bossy and ill-tempered. She just forces her way in and doesn’t pay any attention to what other folks think. Anyway, she gave Mama some medicine. I don’t know what it was, but I suspect it was laudanum. I don’t want to make this harder than it has to be. I don’t want to overreact. Still, I feel like I should make sure that doesn’t happen again, but I don’t know exactly how to go about it. I heard the doctor say that too much laudanum can kill a person. I was hoping to keep Mama from using any more of it.” Dianne knew she was rambling and stopped abruptly. “Sorry. What do you think I should do?”

“Well, did you tell Mrs. Showalter that?”

Dianne straightened and shook her head. “I can’t tell that woman anything. She refuses to listen to honest concern.”

“Maybe you should get someone to go with you when you speak to her. Maybe Mrs. Hammond?”

Dianne nodded. “That’s a good idea. Could you come too? We could go talk to Charity while Zane and Morgan eat.”

Faith’s expression turned grim. “I doubt she’d listen to a woman of color.”

“I don’t care. I need you there for me, if for no other reason.”

Faith smiled. “In that case, of course I’ll come.” She reached out for the crock. “Now, don’t you go worrying about cleaning this out. I’ll take care of it. Why don’t you get your brothers set up and we’ll just head right over. The Hammonds’ wagon isn’t all that far. I can get the milk from you later.”

Dianne did as Faith suggested and moments later explained the situation to Charity Hammond. “I’m convinced it’s laudanum or something equally as bad,” Dianne said. “I’ve barely been able to rouse Mama. She just wants to sleep.”

Charity considered Dianne’s concerns, then pulled on her sunbonnet. “Let’s just go and have a talk with Griselda. I’m sure she means well, but she needs to understand your concerns.”

The trio made their way along the wagons until they reached the Showalter camp. Percy sat working to mend a bucket. He dropped one tool after another and then fumbled around to pick them back up. He clearly had no skill at what he was attempting. The Showalter children— James, Glen, Grace, and Marysue—huddled under the wagon. It appeared they were eating their supper, but to Dianne they all resembled frightened animals.

“We’ve come to talk to your missus,” Charity announced.

Percy looked up, frustration evident in his expression. “She’s gone to see someone.”

Dianne started to comment that it was probably her mother Griselda had gone to see, when the heavyset woman came storming into the camp.

“I’ve never in my life been so insulted. Percy, put that bucket down—it’s not like you have any idea what you’re doing anyway. I want you to go and speak with—” She caught sight of the women and paused in midsentence. “What are you doing here?”

Her gaze settled on Dianne. Dianne wished momentarily that the earth would just swallow her up. Griselda Showalter was a force to be reckoned with, and Dianne feared the real reckoning would be hers to bear alone.

Charity stepped between the women, however. “We’ve come to speak to you about Dianne’s mother. Dianne saw you give her something from a bottle earlier today. She’s concerned about it and I am too.”

Faith gave Dianne a gentle pat on the back for support. Dianne needed the reassurance as Griselda’s hostility grew.

“I was only helping Susannah. She’s my friend and I know what she’s suffering. None of you have lost a child, so you can’t help her like I can.”

Dianne stepped forward. “By giving her laudanum?”

“It won’t hurt her. If she were a stronger woman like me, she wouldn’t need it. But she’s with child and she has a weak constitution.”

“It’s only going to be weaker if you keep drugging her,” Dianne protested.

“You’re a child. You know nothing.”

By now, Percy had come to his feet and stood beside his wife as if to defend her, his devotion evident. There wasn’t a time when they were together that Dianne hadn’t heard the woman belittle him.
How can he love her and be so supportive of her when she does nothing but hurt him?

Charity interceded again, glancing back at Dianne as if to warn her to remain silent. “Griselda, I know you to be a reasonable woman. I’m asking that you stop causing the Chadwick children additional worry. Susannah needs to wake up and face the reality of what’s happening. She needs—”

“She needs her laudanum. She’s the one who told me where to find it. She asked me to bring it to her, and that’s what I did.” Griselda crossed her arms defiantly and stared them down as if daring any one of the women to say otherwise.

Dianne remembered the remaining laudanum and sighed. How much had her mother already taken? Anger made her bold. Stepping forward, she nudged Charity aside. “Stay away from my mother. If you don’t, I’ll take this matter to the wagon master and demand you be removed from the train!”

“How dare you!” Griselda turned and stormed away, leaving Percy openmouthed and the children wide-eyed in surprise.

“What was that all about?”

Dianne turned to find Cole Selby standing behind Faith. “She’s been drugging my mother,” Dianne said, feeling shy and yet knowing he’d understand and help her in the matter.

“Why?” he asked, coming closer.

“She thinks she’s helping Susannah deal with the grief,” Charity said before Dianne could answer. “I think she’ll stay away now. I don’t think she meant any harm.”

Cole continued to look at Dianne. The fading light made it impossible for her to see what color his eyes were, but it seemed she remembered them to be brown.

“I’m sorry for my wife’s interference,” Percy Showalter said. “I’ll speak to her.”

Dianne couldn’t imagine that it would do any good, but she nodded to acknowledge his effort to make amends. He was such a gentle, softspoken man, and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt his feelings.

“Mr. Showalter, if you don’t mind, I’ll have you position your wagon closer to the front tomorrow. That way it will be more difficult for Mrs. Showalter to walk back and visit.”

Percy nodded and pushed up his spectacles. “I understand.”

There seemed to be nothing more to be said. Dianne bid them good-night and made her way back to their camp. Zane and Morgan were bent over a game of checkers as she approached. “She came here, didn’t she?” Dianne questioned.

“I’ll say,” Morgan replied. “She ranted and raved when Zane and I wouldn’t let her in the wagon. She even threatened to give us both a good spanking.”

Zane laughed. “Yeah. I thought it might have been kind of fun to see her try, so I suggested she start with Morgan.”

Morgan chuckled. “For a minute, I thought she might. Then she stomped off muttering and grumbling.” He shrugged. “Guess she’ll save the whupping for later.”

Dianne shook her head. “I was at her camp when she came back. She was as mad as I’ve ever seen anyone. She was going to have Percy come deal with you both.”

The twins laughed even harder and went back to their game. “I have nothing but the utmost respect for that man,” Zane commented as he made his move against Morgan.

“To be sure,” Morgan replied as Zane jumped over several of his pieces. “Oh, bother. It’s getting too dark to even see. Let’s go check on the livestock.”

“You’re just a sore loser,” Zane said, getting to his feet. He bent down and picked up the game. “Tomorrow night we’ll start sooner and then you can’t complain about the light.”

They walked off to deal with the animals, leaving Dianne alone. She hugged herself to ward off the pain and stared into the small fire. Cole Selby had taught her brothers how to make a fire just large enough to cook and get warmed by. He said most folks were given to making their fires much too big. It was a waste they couldn’t afford out here where wood and other fuels were so scarce.

She smiled at the memory of Cole’s appearance at the Showalter camp. She’d really misjudged him. He’d been obnoxious and condescending the first few times she’d met him. Then when she’d stepped on the snake he’d treated her like a child while saving her life.

But tonight she again felt he recognized her pain and sorrow. She knew it as sure as she knew her own name. She saw the look in his eyes. He understood that Griselda’s actions were out of line and needed to be stopped. She smiled faintly. Perhaps she had something of a champion in Cole Selby.

CHAPTER 15

T
HE WAGON TRAIN APPROACHED VIRGINIA CITY ON THE CORRINE
Road. The mountainous beauty of the trail left Dianne with high hopes of a tranquil mountain village for their new home. But her hopes were quickly shattered with her first real look at the town. Nestled along the foothills of the Tobacco Root Mountains was a collection of false-front businesses and shacklike houses. Tents abounded down through the valley and along the creek, where mining efforts had torn up the ground, scarring it and leaving it longing for life.

The area was nearly void of trees. Dianne supposed the trees had been cleared in order to build and then maybe also for fuel. Either way, the landscape looked barren of vegetation. The dull, lifeless color of weathered wood, sluiced debris, and dried-out ground left Dianne wondering if anything good at all could come out of such a place.

Of those in the wagon train who had chosen to head north with Mr. Selby’s party, most were coming for gold. There were only a few wagons of women and children coming west with male relatives in order to join husbands who were already hard at work in the pursuit of gold. The train had picked up stragglers along the Corrine Road coming north. Many men were coming from Colorado and California, where the gold seemed somewhat played out. They had a look of cautious anticipation in their eyes. Cole Selby had told Morgan it was a look of haunted hope—the desire to believe this just might be the one time they’d strike it rich, all the while remembering the other times when they didn’t.

The Chadwicks, Showalters, and Hammonds were actually the only ones who had traveled to Virginia City with something other than gold on their minds. Griselda had heard the country was good for farming, but by the looks of it, Dianne figured someone had led that poor woman astray. Dianne seriously doubted you could grow much more than heartbreak in this country. The Hammonds were actually heading west to Oregon to live with their son but, after praying about it, felt confident that they were supposed to lay over a time nearby and minister to the mining district. Their young companion, Levi Sperry, agreed with this as well. It was his desire to settle in the area, leaving the only mother and father he’d known for the last few years in order to start a life of his own. Charity had confided in Dianne that she felt certain Levi was developing an affection for her and that this had influenced his desire to settle in the area. Dianne had mixed feelings where Levi was concerned. He was sweet and well mannered, but she had no desire to be courted by any man. Her life was still too topsy-turvy, and with the events of the last few months, courting was the furthest thing from her mind. Nevertheless she was glad he was around—glad each of her friends were close by. Charity helped to keep things nicely balanced when Griselda was on the offensive. Dianne had a feeling she would need the woman’s help if Griselda settled very close to Uncle Bram’s house. The only other people from the wagon train that Dianne cared about were Faith and Malachi— but they had come for gold. Dianne could only hope that Uncle Bram wouldn’t live too far from where the men were mining. Maybe that way she’d have a chance to slip down and visit Faith from time to time.