“Give my love
to Jojo and her parents,” Dani said. “We’ll expect you back on
Saturday. Behave nicely.”
“Don’t I
always?” Amélie called, as she picked up her bag and left.
“Actually, she
does,” Dani said to Gaëlle, taking the chair opposite her at the
kitchen table. “But she’s a deep one, our Amélie.”
“Very mature
for her age,” Gaëlle agreed.
“David and I
were just talking about you,” Dani said.
“Before or
after the morning quickie?” Gaëlle asked with a smile.
“You could hear
us? So Amélie…”
“She heard,
too, but wasn’t at all surprised or shocked, don’t worry.”
“We’re still
learning about this house. Maybe David and I should use a different
bedroom.”
“I wouldn’t
bother. As I said, Amélie took it in stride, and she seemed to like
the idea that you two were having fun. So what did you and David
decide about me? That I need to get my head examined?”
“You don’t need
a head-doctor. What you need is a friend—more than one, if
possible. People you can put your trust in totally.”
“In fact, what
you need is another person like yourself,” David added, coming into
the kitchen.
“We know from
Jérôme that you’re a caring person, and how you’re always helping
out your friends. What a great listener you are, too.” Dani said.
“And that’s what you need. We’d love to do it, but Strasbourg is
too far for us to be effective. It needs to be someone who can be
contacted in person, at a moment’s notice.”
“Can you
explain to me why I need this? I thought I was managing not too
badly.”
Dani sat back
and thought, then began, “Last night we both sensed an element of
desperation in you, Gaëlle. We’d worked out that you did some
fairly extreme exploring with Jérôme, but we think you were able to
do that partly because, when an experience was over, you were able
to go back to life with someone who loved you and cared for you.
You were working from a base of security, which allowed you to take
risks. That cocoon disappeared when Jérôme died.”
“Go on, I’m
listening.”
“Judging from
your new piercing and the pin you put in it last night, you think
you’re ready to do some more experimenting, but on your own. Are we
right?” David asked. Gaëlle nodded. “But you feel very alone, and
in some way you feel guilty about enjoying it, so you’re punishing
your body by making yourself look, in your opinion, ugly.”
Gaëlle nodded
again. It made sense. “So what do you think I should do?” she
asked.
“Not should,
but could,” Dani corrected her. “It’s your decision. But we think
if you could find someone you trust almost as much as Jérôme, then
you could explore in safety.”
“I don’t want
another man in my life.”
“Who said a
man? And it doesn’t have to be a lover, just a really good
friend.”
“I’ll think
about it.” Gaëlle looked at the clock and stood up. “Can you take
me back, please? I ought to get changed and resume my rôle as
normal human being.”
Dani stood and
hugged her. “You
are
normal, Gaëlle, wonderfully so. Listen,
any time you want to come to see us, you’re welcome. If you want to
join in our games, too, but that isn’t part of the deal.”
Gaëlle kissed
David, and Dani drove her back to Jerome’s parents’ house. The rest
of her stay drifted by in a pleasant succession of days, and when
she returned to Strasbourg, she felt she’d had a good rest. She
pottered round her flat, cleaning and dusting, then turned to the
pile of washing she’d accumulated on holiday. Sorting through the
coloured wash when it had finished, she picked out Amélie’s
knickers. She’d have to return them. She put them on a radiator to
dry, then ironed them, packed them neatly and sent them off. Three
days later, she got a letter from Annecy. She looked at the
envelope. Amélie might be mature for her age, but she still had a
schoolgirl’s writing. She slit the envelope open.
Dear
Gaëlle,
I hope I can
say dear Gaëlle, although we’ve only met once. But I saw more of
you than most people who call you dear Gaëlle, so I’m going to.
Thank you for sending my knickers back. They are my favourite pair,
the ones I wear when I want to feel grown-up and sexy. I shall
think of you every time I put them on. Is it peculiar that I like
the idea that they have been so close to you? If it is, I’m sorry
but I can’t help it.
Mum has told me
a little about you. Nothing too intimate, don’t worry! I didn’t let
her know I’d seen you in bed with them, or that I’d seen you with
no clothes on. I don’t want to make her life, or mine, more
complicated! She told me about your Jérôme and what a wonderful
couple you were. I’m sorry you lost him. I would have liked to meet
him. Although you might not have appreciated that, because I’d most
likely have flirted terribly with him! But something tells me that
wouldn’t have bothered you. Am I right?
Since you told
Mum that we heard her and Dad hard at it, she’s been treating me
much more like an adult. They don’t hide so much now, although
there’s been no mention of the ropes and other toys. They’re
entitled to some secrets, I suppose.
You may be
wondering why I’m writing all this stuff to you. Well, the truth is
that I have nobody else. Sorry if that isn’t flattering, but I
think you’ll understand. What I know about my parents can’t be told
to my school friends. It would be round the town, with extras, the
following day! Gaël wouldn’t want to know. Boys! As teenagers, we
are so much closer to being women than they are to being men,
aren’t we?
I’ve rabbited
on long enough and I want to get this in the post. What I want to
ask is, will you read the stuff I write? Will you give me your
opinion on my thinking? I need a friend like you and I want to be
your friend.
Kisses,
Amélie
Gaëlle thought
deeply for a couple of days, then she picked up the phone and
called Dani. “Hello, Dani, it’s Gaëlle. Listen, I got a letter of
thanks from Amélie, which was nice. She says she wants me to be her
confidante, for things she’d rather not discuss with you. I don’t
think she means the birds and bees, but maybe for when she’s
confused. How would you feel about that?”
“I’d like to
think my daughter could discuss anything at all with me. But since
she feels she can’t, I’d much rather it was you than anyone else. I
hope you’d let us know if there was anything that became serious or
threatening. The world is much more dangerous now than when we were
her age.”
“I’ll tell her
in advance that I won’t conceal anything from you that I think you
need to know, but that I’ll always give her the chance to tell you
herself first. Would that resolve the problem?”
“It would. I
trust you to keep her safe, Gaëlle.”
“I’ll do my
best.”
Amélie’s next
note agreed to the terms. If she was unhappy that Gaëlle had told
her mother of her request, she didn’t say so, just that she was
relieved that Dani was okay with it.
From Gaëlle’s
Journal
My life goes
from complication to complication. Now I’m the mentor for an
adolescent! I’ll have to be very careful how I react to Amélie’s
correspondence. I don’t want to be accused of perverting a minor.
However, she feels she needs to exchange ideas with someone she can
trust and I appear to have been elected. Now I’m back home, I can
quite see Dani’s point, that I’ve been mistreating my body to
forgive myself for exploring without my darling Jérôme. I have the
right to do as I please, and when I think back, Jérôme never denied
me any experience that tempted me, which gave me the confidence to
take risks. Now, I’ve nobody to turn to if things go wrong, unless
Maya is prepared to do that for me. She’s already being the friend
that David and Dani think I need. I’ll have to see if I dare ask
her.
About the
Author
MP Franck is the pen-name of a writer,
translator and former teacher. Half-Irish, he lives mostly in
France.