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Authors: Piers Anthony

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“Eris!” Jumper cried similarly.

The Demoness had promised to visit and bring Charming too; that had slipped Wenda’s mind for the moment. She was about to try to explain to Meryl, but then she found herself alone with Charming in a curtained room sectioned around a bed. He kissed her and caught hold of her backside. First things first, of course.

In seven minutes he was asleep beside her. Then the curtains faded and he was gone. She saw that Jumper was similarly asleep on the other bed. Eris was gone too.

“Fascinating,” Meryl said. “What happened?”

“I think we blinked,” Dipper said. “Suddenly they were asleep on the beds.”

Wenda realized that the Demoness had frozen time for the remaining two. They did not know the whole or even the half or quarter what had happened. Maybe that was just as well. “I think they are just trying out the beds,” she said. “I will tell Jumper to move.”

She went and touched Jumper’s shoulder, waking him. “You said you’d use the hay,” she reminded him.

“Oh. Yes,” he agreed, catching on. Then he smiled. “There was a time when you would have said ‘Yew said yew’d yews the hay.’ I miss that accent.”

“So do I. I’ll be sure to take it back when the mission is done.”

“Something happened,” Meryl said suspiciously.

It seemed better to explain. “Jumper and I are married. Our spouses made conjugal visits. You and Dipper were suspended for the duration.”

“Conjugal visits!”

“Spouses get restive if neglected,” Jumper said.

“I wish I had an ardent spouse,” Meryl said.

“Quests can be good for meeting potential spouses. Wenda and I met ours last year during my Quest.”

“Just what was your Quest?”

“I had to splice together the cable that brings the magic of gravity from Mundania. Wenda and the Princesses Dawn and Eve helped. It was quite a challenge.”

“And you met the Demoness on the way?”

“Yes. It was a convoluted adventure.”

Meryl shrugged. “Maybe there’ll be a convolution for me along the way.”

“It’s certainly possible,” Wenda said. “Now we need to get to sleep. We may have a big day tomorrow.”

They did that without further ceremony.

3

P
RINCESS
I
DA

In the morning, after a bit of maneuvering so that neither Jumper nor Meryl saw the other bare, they washed, breakfasted, and resumed travel.

Jumper turned back to a small spider and jumped to Wenda’s hair. Wenda packed his fallen clothes and got on her bicycle. Meryl and Dipper flew into the sky. They were on their way.

But still Wenda wondered: How could Princess Ida, a mature woman of forty-one and a Sorceress, possibly be interested in joining such a motley crew? A woodwife, a spider, a flying mermaid, and a swimming bird. None of them were fully human, while Ida was completely human, and the twin sister of King Ivy. It seemed impossible.

Yet the Good Magician had said to ask her. He had to know something Wenda did not.

The high turrets of Castle Roogna came into view. Wenda quailed, but kept cycling. All she could do was ask.

They came to the orchard surrounding the castle. Meryl and Dipper flew down to join them. Meryl caught hold of Wenda’s bike for support, and Dipper perched on her shoulder. Evidently the two had gotten to know each other during the flight, and were getting along well.

“I’m not sure I should go in,” Meryl said. “I’d have to fly, and that means bare. They might not approve.”

Wenda saw her point. Still, she preferred to have her Companions with her, if only for moral support. What to do?

“Can Jumper assume other forms than spider or man?” Dipper asked.

Certainly,
Jumper thought to them all, startling bird and mermaid.
What would you like?

“Maybe if I could ride, clothed,” Meryl said.

“Like a horse?” Wenda asked, intrigued.

Wenda felt Jumper jump off her hair. Then he manifested as a huge four-footed animal.

“A unicorn!” Meryl exclaimed, delighted.

“Solves the problem of clothing for them both,” Dipper remarked.

That was true. A unicorn didn’t need clothing, and the mermaid could don her outfit and ride.

Meryl promptly did. In a moment and a half she was perched sidesaddle on Jumper, fluttering her wings to maintain her balance since there wasn’t actually a saddle. She brought out a comb and fixed her hair, then used it to clear a small tangle from his mane. It seemed that mermaid and spider were becoming comfortable with each other too. It was all a matter of form.

They moved through the orchard in style, Wenda on her bike, Dipper on Meryl’s shoulder, Meryl on Jumper. It remained an odd party, but now it was a proud one.

Three girls appeared, about fourteen years old. “Hi, Jumper,” the first one said. Evidently they recognized him in any form.

“Who’re your friends?” the second asked.

“And what’s your Quest?” the third concluded.

I’m not the Quester,
Jumper thought.
I’m a Companion. Wenda’s the Quester. You know her.

The three put their hands to their mouths, covering triple O’s. “So we do,” the first said. “I’m Princess Melody.”

“I’m Princess Harmony,” the second added. “We apologize, Wenda. We didn’t recognize you, whole.”

“I’m Princess Rhythm. Welcome to Castle Roogna,” the third finished.

“Thank you, Princesses,” Wenda said, half taken aback.

That set them off again. “You didn’t say yew,” Melody began.

“The Good Magician gave me a spell. Now I can’t even say would.”

The three burst out laughing. “You sure sound funny,” Harmony continued. “Now you’re a wouldwife.”

“You’re lucky Prince Charming didn’t notice,” Rhythm concluded. “He would have stayed awake longer than seven minutes.”

Wenda looked sharply at her. What did this child know of that sort of thing? The princess met her gaze, and the answer was clear: too much. She wasn’t nearly the child she looked.

“Princess Ida is expecting you,” Melody said, starting a new round. The three always talked in turns.

“She’s all packed and ready to go,” Harmony added.

“She’s hot for adventure,” Rhythm wound up.

That seemed unlikely, but Wenda was not about to argue. “Then we shall go see her now.”

They approached the castle. The drawbridge was down across the moat. As they started across, a huge serpentine head rose out of the water and eyed them.

“It’s okay, Soufflé,” Melody said brightly.

“It’s Wenda, Jumper, Meryl, and Dipper,” Harmony added.

“They’re on a Quest,” Rhythm finished.

Soufflé nodded and sank back under the water. Wenda was relieved; as a forest creature she was not completely comfortable with sea monsters. But she still did want one for her own castle moat.

The three little princesses showed the way to Ida’s room. No one challenged the presence of a mermaid riding a unicorn in the castle; it almost seemed this sort of thing was routine. Jumper navigated the broad stairway with dispatch, his hooves finding secure footing. He knew how to handle multiple legs, regardless of the body.

Ida was indeed expecting them; she stood outside her room, her little moon orbiting her head. She was a matronly woman looking fully as old as she was, with a substantial handbag. “Shall we go?” she inquired.

“But—but we haven’t even been introduced,” Wenda protested, severely out of sorts.

“Princess Aunt Ida,” Melody said. “Meet Princiss Wenda Woodwife Charming.”

“And her friend Prince Jumper Spider, in unicorn mode,” Harmony continued.

“And her Companions Meryl Winged Mermaid and Dipper Swimming Bird,” Rhythm finished. “They have a Quest.”

“I am so glad to meet you,” Ida said graciously. “You seem like a fine group, including the handsome and talented bird.”

“We’ll get along famously,” Dipper said, preening.

“I am sure that will be the case,” Ida agreed.

And that, Wenda realized, meant that it was true, or had become true when she said it. Because Princess Ida’s magic talent was the Idea. Any idea she approved was true, as long as it was suggested by someone who did not know her talent. Dipper evidently did not know it; the subject had not come up in their dialogue. Could that be why the Good Magician had sent him to join the party?

“But there are one or two details to attend to first,” Ida said. “I need to notify my sister, King Ivy, so she doesn’t worry about my absence. And I will need to obtain transport, as I’m sure my elderly legs could not keep the pace of a unicorn or bicycle.”

She had a point. “Could you use a bicycle?” Wenda asked.

“I fear not. My long skirt would interfere.”

Another point. Wenda wore a short skirt, and it stretched tight on occasion. A long one would be a disaster.

They walked toward the throne room. “I haven’t been able to speak Human very long,” Dipper said. “I know very little about Human affairs. But I thought the King was male.”

“The King is an office,” Ida answered. “Any qualified person can hold it. The qualifications are being human or close to it, and having a talent of Magician or Sorceress caliber. So when King Dor decided to retire, his elder child, the Sorceress Ivy, assumed the throne. She is thus King.”

This intrigued Wenda. “I don’t know much about Human affairs either. But isn’t she married to Magician Grey Murphy? The father of the three little Princesses? Why isn’t he King now?”

“He wasn’t interested,” Ida explained. “He would rather take over the Good Magician’s practice at such time as he retires. Besides, he is foreign born. He’s the Man from Mundania. That could complicate it. So that left Ivy.”

They had arrived at the throne room. There was King Ivy sitting at a table buried in papers. She looked just like Ida. Her crown was being used as a paperweight. “Whoever thought there would be so much bleeping paperwork!” she exclaimed. Then she saw the visitors, and blanched. “Ooops.”

“I’m sure I didn’t hear anything,” Meryl said, blushing.

Ida cut straight to business. “Ivy, I am joining a Quest, because the Good Magician feels I can help. I wanted to let you know before I departed.”

Ivy sighed. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be King?”

“Quite sure. Here are Wenda Woodwife, Jumper Spider, Meryl Mermaid, and Dipper Bird. I fear I will not be able to maintain their pace on the trail.”

“Take a carpet,” Ivy said.

“Thank you. I will hope to return it in good condition when the Quest is done.”

Ivy stood, and the sisters embraced. For that instant the little moon orbited both of their heads. “Don’t lose your moon,” Ivy said with a smile.

“I will keep an eye on it.”

That was it. Wenda suspected that the parting was more emotional than either sister cared to show.

They repaired to the supply closet. There was a pile of ordinary-looking carpets. Ida took the smallest one. She set it on the floor, then sat on it with her handbag between her knees. In a moment the carpet lifted to about waist height, carrying her with it, and hovered there. She neither moved nor spoke. Wenda realized that an experienced magic-carpet rider could communicate directives without any outside indication.

“We seem to be ready to go,” Wenda said, impressed. She realized another thing: the princess would have no difficulty getting down into the Gap Chasm, because she could simply float there. That would surely help.

They moved out of the castle. As they crossed the moat, another huge monster head lifted out of the water.

“Hi, Sesame,” Melody called.

“Our visitors are leaving,” Harmony continued.

“They’re going on a Quest,” Rhythm concluded.

The monster head eyed Princess Ida questioningly.

“I’m going too,” the princess said. She floated out and petted the head. “Thank you for your concern.”

The head sank down out of sight. Obviously the castle was well-guarded. But how was it that the monster had changed?

“Soufflé’s shift ended,” Ida explained. “So Sesame took over. They wouldn’t want to leave the castle unprotected.”

“That makes sense,” Meryl said. “I’m a sea creature as well as a winged monster. I’ll make sure to introduce myself, if I ever have to come here alone.”

“Now I trust you know where we are going, Wenda,” Ida said gently.

“Yes. The Good Magician gave me a compass that points to it. But it doesn’t ensure that the way is clear or easy, so there may have to be detours. And we’re not supposed to let outsiders know about the Quest. Only folk we know and trust.”

“Naturally,” Ida agreed. “This is why I am traveling incognito.”

“Um, I don’t want to seem critical,” Meryl said, “but you don’t look very incognito to me. Your crown, the moon orbiting your head, and that magic carpet sort of give things away. Folk are bound to guess that if Princess Ida is along, it’s important.”

Ida smiled. “Do you have a mirror?”

“I’m female,” Meryl said. “Of course I have a mirror.” She dug a small one out of her purse.

“Look at my reflection.”

Meryl did, and dropped the mirror. “Oh!”

“What’s the matter?” Wenda asked, alarmed, stooping to pick up the mirror, which was by the unicorn’s hind foot.

“Look at her reflection,” Meryl said.

Wenda did. There in place of the princess was an ancient old ugly crone with wispy white hair, gap teeth, and rags. Her tattered skirt fell to the ground; there was no sign of the floating carpet.

Wenda held the mirror up before Jumper’s face so he could see too, and finally held it for Dipper. All were amazed.

“I apologize,” Meryl said weakly as Wenda returned her mirror. “I forget you are a Sorceress.”

“No need,” Ivy said. “You made a good point. It’s a masquerade spell my sister let me borrow from the closet. The four of you see me as I am, but strangers see only the illusion, as does the mirror. Similarly you hear my name, Ida, as it is, but others will hear it as Haggai, or Hag for short. The rest of you are already anonymous, not being well known.”

But when we speak your name as Ida, won’t that give it away?
Jumper asked.

“It will still be heard by others as Hag. It’s a competent spell.”

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