Knight Shift (36 page)

“It was part of it, but this wasn’t all your fault. I felt the danger signs and didn’t do anything about it.”

“Suppressing your nature for so long was causing you pain.” She said it as a fact, not a question.

He nodded and asked, “How do you know that?”

“I talked to Sam last night and he helped me understand what I already knew. Since arriving in Richmond, I felt the tension in your body grow stronger, especially each time we were around a crowd of Humans. I knew something more was going on, but I was having such a good time with you, I ignored it. You’re an invincible knight in my eyes and so strong that I thought you could handle it.” After letting out a deep breath she said, “When we first started our trip, you used to leave me each night for hours at a time. At the time, I assumed that it was because it was too difficult for you to be trapped so closely to me. There was more to you stepping out than just getting away from me, wasn’t there?”

“I left partially because I was fighting the feelings I had for you, but also because I needed to shift and I didn’t want you to see me that way.”

“What way?”

“As inhuman. You stare at me in ways that no one has ever looked at me and I didn’t want you to stop.”

“For over a year, I’ve been confiding in Casper my every thought and desire. In that time, did I ever say anything that led you to believe that I didn’t know what or who you were?” Before he could answer her, she continued. “If I recall correctly, I repeatedly mentioned how much I wanted to get to know all of you, especially the part of you that’s Ice. And when you finally exposed that side of yourself to me in order to chase away that stupid chicken—”

“It was a wild turkey,” Jax corrected her.

She chuckled and replied, “It looked like a big chicken to me, but okay. When you let Ice come forward to chase away that wild turkey, how did I react when I saw your shifted side?” This time she was going to wait for his response.

When she paused long enough that he knew he was expected to respond, he said, “You looked at me like a kid stares at a big wrapped present. I had to walk away for fear you were about to pounce on me to rip off the wrapping paper so that you could examine what was underneath.”

Recalling that one of her first thoughts was that she wanted his pants off so that she could see if his entire body was covered in his wonderful camouflage spots, she snickered and said, “I’ll admit that I was curious about the hidden parts, but that isn’t the point. I wasn’t afraid or disgusted. Ice is a part of you just like being an artist is a part of me.”

“But when your nature gets upset, you eat chocolate and spend hours vacuuming. Mine rips apart a bar and sends dozens of people to the hospital.”

“I should never have taken you to that bar. It was stupid and thoughtless. It won’t happen again. I also know that you care about me enough that you won’t let me to travel on alone, so I’ve come up with a better plan.”

“What’s that?”

“We get in the Rover and just keep driving until we get back to Oregon.”

“What about sprinkling your family’s ashes?”

“That’s no longer important. I can take care of the remaining ashes at home.”

“No, what’s important is finishing what we’ve started. I’m much better today.”

After examining his dirt, blood, and scratch covered body, she asked, “Are you?”

“Actually yes. I fully released my shifted form and spent the night hunting. At one point I did consider running away, but you’re right. I couldn’t leave you waiting here alone, and I knew that you would have sat here and waited for days—maybe weeks—before accepting that I wasn’t coming back. That would have caused you pain and that was the last thing I wanted to do. Instead I argued with myself for hours while I hunted. And, before I knew it, I was back here staring at your motel room door.”

“How did you know what room I was in? The car is parked on the other side of the building.”

He gave her a look that said he couldn’t believe she was that clueless and asked, “Really? Weren’t you the one that I played hide and seek with yesterday? Didn’t you learn that there’s no place you can hide that I can’t find you?”

She asked, “Well, what are we going to do?”

“We’re going to continue as we planned, but we’ll need to change a few things.”

She replied, “Staying away from Human crowds is a given. We can even camp out at night so that you can take time each day to fully shift and hunt.” When he nodded, she reluctantly added, “And maybe you should feed while you’re out.”

He knew she wasn’t referring to burgers and fries. He shook his head and said, “I don’t want to feed on anyone else. I get what Human blood I need from you.”

“Now who’s being stupid? I know that you take very little from me, barely a drop or two, and Sam said that you might need to feed more often. If you won’t feed on others, you need to take more from me to help you maintain control.”

“But I was afraid that it would make you weak.”

“For this trip to work and to prevent any repeat incidents, we have to be totally honest with each other. If you take what you actually need from me, I’ll promise to tell you how I’m feeling and I won’t sugar coat it. But if you need more than what I can offer, you have to tell me so that you can find another source.”

“Agreed. The sun isn’t up yet so why don’t you get some rest. I’ll join you after I shower.”

When he walked away and saw Penny following, he stopped and asked, “Where are you going?”

“In the spirit of full disclosure, here is my plan. I’m first getting in the shower with you to verify that you’re actually okay from head to toe. Then while I’m getting dressed for bed, you’re going to call Sam and tell him that you’re back. After that we’re going to crawl into bed together so that you can feed.” When he started to argue that he fed while hunting, she put up her hand to tell him to save his breath. “I know that you were just hunting, but Sam also told me that, for you to maintain control, animal blood won’t work. You need to use Human blood.”

“What else did that Night Walker tell you?”

“That’s between Sam and I, and it’s none of your business.” Continuing where she was before Jax interrupted her, she said commandingly, “And per our agreement, the Human blood you take is going to be mine.” Before he could respond to her last statement, she turned and walked into the bathroom.

As Jax trailed behind her, he pondered on the conversation he and Penny just had. Normally no one ever tried to tell him to do anything and, if they did, it was a mistake they never repeated. Penny was changing and he liked the strength she was now projecting. And for some unknown reason, he really liked her bossing him around.

Once they were both in the shower, they took turns thoroughly examining each other, confirming that neither had any serious injuries. When Penny was satisfied, she told Jax about what she had heard on the news. Although killing a Human used to be a part of his normal life, hearing that this time no one died made him sigh in relief. He knew that if he had killed, a man hunt would be underway and, if he and Penny continued to travel together, it would put her in danger.

When he looked down at Penny, his anger at himself flared and he said, “I hate that you saw what I’m capable of doing.”

Based on the stories she had been told, she knew that he had only released enough to barely stretch his muscles, so she replied, “You and I both know that it could have been much worse. You may have attacked the drunk man, but you were defending yourself from his buddies who looked like they wouldn’t have stopped until they had killed you. Many of the others that were injured got caught in your wake or were trampled by other Humans in the stampede. Thank heavens for their diversion got you out of there before more damage was done.”

“My fellow Changelings did that for me, but that wasn’t what made me leave. It was actually you. I heard your voice and my hidden nature listened. Even in my shifted state, I trust you above all others.”

She was deeply touched and her voice caught at his words. After clearing her throat she said while trying to sound teasing, “As you should.”

After they got out of the shower, Penny put on one of his favorite silk nighties while Jax talked to Sam. When he clicked off the phone, he turned and found Penny sitting on the edge of the bed.

As he approached, she motioned for him to stop and said, “I want to add another condition to our trip.”

“What’s that?”

“I want to get to know Ice. You said he trusted me—even at the worst of times— and for our traveling together to work, you have to let him be a part of the equation.”

“I don’t know if that would work. My shifted state is my anger and hate solidified.”

“I don’t believe that. You may see him as that because you only bring that side of yourself out when you’re angry. But I saw him emerge a few times when we played hide and seek and I swear I saw him smile once. Your other side can be so much more if you would let it and I want to help.”

“What exactly are you asking me to do?”

“As a first step, shift for me and let me touch you. Then we’ll see how it goes from there.”

Although he thought this was a very bad idea, he also knew that she was right. He couldn’t hide his shifted side from her any longer. While keeping a large gap between them, he closed his eyes and let his hidden nature emerge.

Penny watched in wonder as his body slowly transformed. She surveyed the leathery skin that was now covered in camouflage spots, while his muscles bulged and his chest broadened. She had to hold onto the bedspread to hold herself back from racing to take a closer look. Instead, she stared into his now solid black reflective eyes and motioned for him to come closer. Before he approached her, he recalled her previous wish and he dropped his night pants so that she could see all of his spots.

She answered her own question. “Fact number one—your wonderful spots do cover your body from head to toe.” She gave him a crooked, approving smile.

She stood silently. Although she had seen his shifted form several times, she was never allowed to take time examining him. What once she thought might frighten her, now brought her pain. She saw behind the anger in his eyes and saw someone lost and confused. She reached out to him and, when he shied away, she paused. After giving him a moment to accept the idea of being touched, she continued. Cautiously, she ran her fingertips up and down his arms, feeling the cool, leathery skin that reminded her of a reptile.

Since he was so much taller than her, she guided him to sit on the edge of the bed. Once in place she decided to be bold. She slowly crawled onto his lap and was shocked to find that he let her. She rubbed his chest and found his armor, although hard as stone, was very soft to the touch.

He closed his eyes and enjoyed the trail of heat she left behind.

When her visual tour returned to his face, she found his black eyes staring intently at her. He was completely lost as to what to do so she continued to take the situation into her own hands. She guided his arms around her waist and jumped when she accidently cut one of her fingers on his knife like fingers.

To Ice’s delight and horror, she held out her cut to him and asked, “Will you heal me?” Seeing the complete shock in his expression, she said sweetly, “Go ahead; I trust you.”

He wasn’t sure if he could taste her blood and stop, but seeing the trail of red running down her finger, he licked his lips. Seeing him fighting his desires, she extended her hand and drew a line of her blood across his bottom lip. The scent overwhelmed him and he instinctively licked the blood off, letting out a long, deep growl. Seeing his reaction, she offered him her wound again.

He carefully cupped her hand so that he didn’t cut her again and licked the trail of blood away with a split tongue. Although the taste of her caused his body to quiver, his tongue tickled and she couldn’t hold back a giggle. With the sound, he felt both of their pulses slow down. He knew instantly that, although she was being cautious, she truly didn’t fear him.

“Want more?” she asked innocently. She wanted to show him that she trusted him with her life so she offered him her wrist and commanded, “Feed.”

He could hear her heart beat as the vein pulsed. The sound triggered his instincts and, at the same time, he concentrated with all of his might so that his actions wouldn’t hurt her.

She watched as his hand shifted back to almost Human so that he could gently position her arm. She was mesmerized by the sight of his fangs biting gently into her wrist. Since Jax had bit her at least once a day, she was used to the initial prick. This bite was much more intense. She cringed, expecting it to hurt, but to her surprise, the sensation became very pleasant as he latched on.

She remained motionless and let him take what he wanted with a low constant growl.

While he enjoyed the gift she offered, she asked, unable to hold back her curiosity, “Is this where you like to feed? Or is there someplace else you prefer?”

Without responding to her question, he released her arm and licked the wound closed. She rubbed the location of the wound amazed by the fact that it was now nothing more than a couple of red dots. While she was distracted, he took her by complete surprise by picking her up and flipping her onto the bed next to him. She started to scoot away, unsure as to what he was going to do. He grabbed her legs to stop her and then crawled up her body so that he hovered above her. When he had her undivided attention, he shook his head and said in a low guttural growl, “Don’t move.” He then licked his lips and gave her what she thought was an attempt at a smile.

She followed his command and remained motionless as he scooted back down her body. While kneeling between her calves, he took a hold of one of her legs. Using his forked tongue, he licked a line up her skin to her thigh. Although she tried to remain calm and quiet, he touched a very ticklish spot. She squirmed while her body shook from giggles. Although she tried to pull away, he seemed quite pleased with his actions and held on firm. He continued to tease her, liking the sound of her laughter filling the room.

Trying to catch her breath, she exclaimed, “Stop that! It tickles.”

He decided to end her torture. When he found the exact spot he was looking for, he tucked his hands under her and lifted her leg to put it in proper position. With his target in his sights, he bit into her inner thigh. The sensation was like nothing she had ever felt before. His bite hit a nerve and sent a shot of pleasure through her body. She grabbed onto the blankets, trying to control her body’s reaction. She let out a moan as her pulse doubled instantly and she started to pant. She tried to squirm with the sensations, but he held her leg tightly and remained latched on.

She was snapped back to reality when she opened her eyes to see Jax in his Human form hovering above her, asking “Are you okay?”

Still unable to make sentences, she managed to pant out the word, “Damn.”

Jax chuckled at her dazed expression, but then his face turned serious when he said, “I’m supposed to feed on you, not Ice. What were you thinking offering your blood to a killer? I’m furious with you for putting yourself in danger like that.”

“But I wanted you to know that I trust all of you and it was the only thing I could think of.” As he rolled his eyes in disbelief, she asked, “I expected it to hurt, but that isn’t the word I would use for what you just did. Does your shifted side do that every time he feeds? If he did, people would be lined up for miles volunteering to be bit.”

“Actually, that side of me has never done anything like that before. Normally my bite hurts like hell, but all I could concentrate on was not causing you pain. I didn’t even know what I did was even possible. Add this to our long list of firsts.”

“Your darker side has quite a gift.” She giggled and asked teasingly, “Do you think that he would be willing to do it again someday?”

Although she was joking, Jax’s face instantly replaced with his shifted features. After he showed off his fangs to her, he scrambled down her body. Before she could offer a protest, he bit into her other thigh.

As he latched on again, she arched her back and screamed, “Oh god, yes!”

He repeated the same process, causing the exact same result in his trapped prey. When he finally released her, she looked down to see a very pleased face staring back at her. He was licking his lips while attempting to force an awkward, but full, smile. It was as if the muscles in his face were stiff, having never fully formed that expression before.

The Human form of Jax returned and crawled up next to her. After she regrouped enough to talk, she said, “Your shifted form’s behavior is nothing like I expected. He looked like he was having fun.”

“That’s because he’s completely different around you. I wouldn’t have believed it possible, but I didn’t feel hate while in that form.”

“Isn’t that what I told you? You really should listen to me more often.”

“I always listen. There’s no voice I want to hear more than yours.”

“That’s good because I know that I talk too much at times.”

He kept to himself that listening to her twenty-four hours a day wouldn’t be enough.

Penny continued, not expecting a response, “I’m assuming that I passed your test and you’ll let that side of you come forward on a regular basis from here after?”

“Given the sounds I just made come out of you, you can count on it.”

“Sorry about that, but his bite is lethally pleasant.”

He laughed and, while pulling her into his arms he said, “You’re an odd Human.”

The warmth now flowing through Jax made his whole body relax. Penny spread her arms and welcomed him to snuggle in even more. After he placed his cheek on her chest, Penny began to tell him how she thought Ice could become an active player in their continued trip.

Her voice faded as his mind focused on the rhythm of her heartbeat. Soon his breathing slowed and his body went limp.

Noticing that he had fallen asleep, she wrapped her arms around him and whispered, “Sleep tight.” Somehow they had survived the night and were still in each other’s arms. She stared down at him and saw a new Jax—not the superhuman killer, but a vulnerable creature in desperate need to be cared for and protected. She vowed to do whatever it took to keep him safe.

As she held him against her, she closed her eyes. Soon her slow breathing matched his and they both fell into a deep sleep.