Knight of Her Heart (Conquering the Heart) (15 page)

Rowan’s hands clenched at his sides. His dislike for the present Lord Blake grew stronger the more he learned about the man’s character. Then horror lanced through him and his blood ran cold. “’Tis not he who has fathered your child?”

“Nay,” she denied hastily.

Of course not. Rowan recalled belatedly that it had been Blake who’d been going to hand her over to Collins and who had wanted to witness her deflowering. Lisette’s guardian had not realised she was no longer a maiden, nor was he a peasant.

“He told me he would have bedded me had my maidenhead not been so valuable to him.”

Rowan cursed again. He could not contain his thorough disapproval at her guardian’s lack of scruples with his ward. “I find it difficult to credit that your father would have left you and your sister in the care of a man with so little honour.”

“Exactly.” Lisette sounded infinitely relieved that he voiced this opinion. “You knew my father. He would hardly have chosen this distant cousin of his to care for us. Even if he didn’t know him well, I am sure my father would have made investigations into his character prior to making his will, to safeguard our futures. Ysabel and I are certain the document my guardian produced was fraudulent.”

Dear Lord! Knowing Lisette’s father, what she was saying rang true. “The man should be—”

“I fear for my sister who is still in his household,” Lisette rushed out before he could finish.

Ice trickled down his spine. “She is but...ten?”

“I believe there is no boundary Lord Blake would not cross—especially now you have thwarted his plans to marry me to Lord Collins.”

Nay! That any man could be so evil filled Rowan with rage. It could not be tolerated or left unpunished and Rowan would protect Genevieve at all costs.

“This is why you asked if your sister and your maid could accompany us to Romsey?” he guessed.

“Aye.”

“You should have told me your reasons for your request when you first made it, Lisette. I would not have denied you this had I understood fully why you asked.” But he had denied her when she’d asked him the day after their wedding. His anger with her had strained on its leash and, seeking to punish her, he’d denied her the company of her maid and sister and sent them back to Bridlemere. “I confess my first thought was to cut you off from those who might aid you if you sought to betray me further.”

She bit down on her lip, her expression crestfallen. “I don’t blame you for doubting me, but I do speak true when I say I have no reason to betray you. I pray that with time you will be able to forgive me and trust me.”

Blue eyes pleaded with him and made everything in him want to forgive her. But his lessons of the past strengthened his resolve to keep her at a distance. Even though they were physically dissimilar, Lisette’s features suddenly blurred with Lady Eleanor’s in his mind. Eleanor had taught him not to trust a woman, even when the woman claimed undying love for him. Lisette’s own actions on their wedding night didn’t inspire him to trust her.

“I shall send a message to Bridlemere requesting a visit from your sister,” he told her brusquely. “’Twill keep her out of harm’s way while I petition the king for her guardianship.”

A sob broke from Lisette’s mouth. “Thank you, my lord.” The tears running down her cheeks were fast-flowing rivers now. “For the dreadful wrong I have committed, I can hardly fathom that you show me such kindness.”

He resisted the strong urge to take her into his arms and cradle her against him. ’Twas only his knightly need to comfort a maiden in distress, he told himself. ’Twas naught to do with his needs as a man for he had those needs firmly under control. He would never allow Lisette to slip under his guard.

“My step-father was an exemplary knight and an outstanding example of chivalrous behaviour. He was a fine model for me to emulate. I pray I am able to do justice to his lessons and can teach your babe the same values should you carry a son.” The need to do the right thing was foremost in Rowan’s mind.

In doing what he knew to be right mayhap he would also make amends for the crime he’d committed—the crime he could not bring himself to fully repent.

She lowered her head as she wiped at her tears with her kerchief but looked up again as she asked, “Do you think you can ever learn to forgive me?”

Discomfort made him shift restlessly on his feet. Could he forgive her? The baron had forgiven his mother. But the baron had loved his mother.

“I do not know,” he answered truthfully. A great weight pressed against his heart. In all the years since the murder of his parents, forgiveness was not something that Rowan had been able to achieve. ’Twas something he could never grant his half-brother, Malin. But...Lisette...

Deception had made a rocky start to their marriage, yet they were married. The future stretched endlessly before them. Lisette’s earnest remorse, and her honesty since the debacle of their wedding night, provided hope. He’d guaranteed the welfare of the babe she carried. Its future was certain. Just as certain was the sexual longing that pulsed like a lightning charge between them. Desire...His desire for her was present in each heartbeat. Surely, from that they could lay the foundation for their future? He could want her physically without allowing that to rob him of his sense.

“My lord, you told me you lust for me. Do you ever intend to make me your wife in truth?”

All the breath whooshed out of Rowan’s lungs at her bold question. ’Twas as though she’d read his mind. But she was a woman. That this woman could speak of such things was...brazen.

She is your wife. Surely, as your wife, she has a right to know?
And...Lord knew, he wanted to take her as his wedded wife and know her in the biblical sense.

“You desire me, Lisette?”

She held herself so straight her spine must surely ache.

“Although I am not worthy of you, I seek to be a good wife to you.”

“That response does not answer my question,” he insisted at her prevarication. “Do you desire me in the marriage bed?”

“You are a very handsome man, my lord. I would not believe a woman who said she did not desire you.”

The candid admiration in her voice made his heart feel uncomfortably large against the confines of his ribcage.

“You are over your lust for your babe’s father?”

“I spoke true when I said I lay with him for the purpose of becoming with child.” There was an earnest light in her eyes as she spoke, willing him to believe her. “There was no love between us.”

He reached out and placed his fingers firmly beneath her chin, ensuring she continued to look at him. Suddenly ’twas imperative that he see the truth in her soul when she answered his next question.  “Did you find the ultimate pleasure with the man who was your lover, Lisette?”

Her eyelids pressed tight for a couple of seconds and her throat worked up and down in the slender column of her neck. Her skin heated beneath his fingertips.

“Nay, my lord, I do not believe that I did.”

Satisfaction surged through him.

It mattered not that she was ripening with another man’s child. In that instant he was completely resolved to claim his conjugal rights and take her to his bed. His wife would find pleasure in his arms. In that regard, at least, he would be her first lover.

“I do not subscribe to the church’s teachings that marital relations between a husband and wife should only be confined to procreation,’ he told her slowly.

At his words, her cheeks blushed with more colour than the reddest English rose.

“There is much pleasure to be had during the activity of procreation.” ’Twas his libido that spoke when he promised, “If I take you to my bed, my body will show yours the ultimate pleasure, Lisette.”

He’d used the word ‘if’ but knew he should have said ‘when’. The blood rushed to his groin and thickened his shaft. He struggled to overpower his need for her and to keep her at a distance. He took a step backward, determined not to cave to his body’s lust until he knew Lisette a little better. Before he lay with her he would ensure he’d reinforced the barrier around his heart, for no woman would find her way in to that place again.

Others may consider him all manner of buffoon for deciding to let his body have its way with her, but, in that instant, he decided that he would soon lie with his bride and make her his. Making love to Lisette, within the holy bounds of matrimony, would help wash away the taint his body still carried from the woman who had held him captive and used his body. Being master in his own bed would help heal the inner wound inflicted when he had been powerless against that unknown woman.

Most of all, he could not deny that he wanted this woman—his wife.                                 

Chapter 7

Fierce longing pulsed through the Countess of Romsey as she watched her husband train with his men. Never had she seen a more capable knight. Despite his immense height and the bulk of his chain mail, Lord Rowan was incredibly light and agile on his feet as he ducked and weaved, evading or blocking the blows of his opponent’s blade. She was riveted to the spot at her bower window by his sheer skill and focus in combat.

Blow after blow was exchanged in the training courtyard below. The clashes of steel echoed around the walls of the surrounding buildings. The sun caught the shining steel of both blade and armour plating or chain mail and made an impressive display of flashing lights.

The light display was not as impressive, however, as her husband. He was so handsome, he simply took her breath away.

Even though he had told her he was no saint, Lisette grew more in awe of his honour each day she spent with him. Apart from her father, she had never known a man as honourable. All the village folk and the castle servants adored Lord Rowan. His knights idolised him, and his wife...she had fallen deeply under his spell.

Lord Romsey was an enigma. A proud yet humble man. A leader among men, yet someone who was willing to listen to the opinion of others. A ruthless, unrelenting warrior who had told her he was determined to seek revenge on his half-brother, yet Rowan was a man who had forgiven Lisette to the point where he promised to claim her unborn babe as his own. This man, who had known the pain of suffering, was compassionate to others and upheld all the values of a truly chivalrous knight.

’Twas still difficult to fathom the anguish he must have known to have his half-brother betray their mother, murder Baron Baddesley, and be prepared to hunt him down with dogs. That he had survived the experience and gone on to become the king’s first knight, earned her admiration. The past wrongs he had suffered compounded Lisette’s guilt that she had betrayed him by not being the virtuous bride he deserved—especially when he had saved her from marriage to Lord Collins.

Tension made her shoulders ache.

How could she make amends?

Whilst Rowan was perfectly polite to her in public, he made no time for her privately. Two days ago, as they had walked back to the castle from the village of Romsey, he’d admitted he lusted for her. Yet he had still not visited her chamber to lie with her. Mayhap he never would. She was uncertain as to his intentions regarding their marriage and how they would deal with each other.

“If I take you to my bed, my body will show yours the ultimate pleasure, Lisette.”

’Twas a promise she believed her masterful husband could keep, for he undertook each task—whether ’twas training with his knights or meeting his villeins and their families—with passion and conviction. Knowledge of his character told her his words were no idle boast. His devotion to her pleasure in the marital bed would also be undertaken with passion, and she was definitely ready to learn of this ultimate pleasure. Surely there was more pleasure to be had for a woman from the act of coupling than she had experienced?

There had been no insistence from Rowan on their wedding night that she don a
chemise carouse
– the thick garment prescribed by the church for coupling. Ysabel had told her that her mother scorned the clothing which covered the woman’s entire body and only had a hole cut at the appropriate place to allow penetration by her husband. Lisette shuddered. She’d heard the material of such a garment was coarse, scratchy and extremely uncomfortable to wear against the skin.

Rowan had been willing to spare her that discomfort. So, ’twas as he had told her—he did not subscribe to the church’s insistence that the marriage bed was for the sole purpose of procreation. Far from covering up her body, he had laid her breasts bare, feasted on them first with his gaze and then wreaked havoc with the attention of his mouth. A quiver of remembered sensual bliss shuddered down her spine at the recollection. He’d been intent on stripping off every scrap of her clothing until...until he’d found the incriminating pig’s blood, the evidence of her lack of virtue.

Daily, she repented and prayed for forgiveness.

Daily she prayed that the man who was father to her child was hale and hearty and did not bear her any malice for having robbed him of his seed.

Lisette yearned to be a wife who could satisfy her husband’s needs. Every need. Watching as he trained below, she acknowledged that she also had needs that clamoured for satisfaction. Although she wasn’t exactly sure of what these needs were, or how to begin going about satisfying them, she was certain her husband knew.

In the training yard Rowan parried then made a cutting counter-attack. His mastery with the blade was a sight to behold. Each movement was intense. Every instinct told her he would be just as intense and masterful in the way he made love.

Inner muscles clenched at the core of her femininity and desire spread like wildfire through her frame at the thought of it. She was curious and needy. She wanted what Rowan had promised her.

The ultimate pleasure
.

Those words had sent a shiver of longing through her and made her achingly aware of a strange emptiness at the juncture of her thighs. She was taunted by the memory of her body straining for something unattainable while she’d ridden the peasant. She’d been more deeply frustrated than fulfilled after each coupling with that man. Then some hitherto wicked, wanton part of her had been unleashed with the brief flare of passion she’d found in Rowan’s arms on their wedding night. Her body now demanded satisfaction. There was a deep-welling insistence that she experience the unknown, ultimate pleasure he referred to.