Keeping the Tarnished (18 page)

“Man, I’m wide awake now too. You still up for headin’ to the basement ’til everyone else gets up and around?” Johnny asked.

“Well, hell yea,” Jared replied in a chipper tone of voice.

Johnny made his way to the basement with Jared as if nothing had happened.

Chapter Thirty-One

Redemption

“Dude, we’re basically both adults. I think we’ll be okay,” Jared said as his father stalled near the curb in front of the large basketball court.

“Dude? Try Dad. And all I said was stay here until I get back, as in no chasing girls or looking for crack cocaine,” Jackson replied with a sarcastic smile as Johnny and Jared exited the large, black truck.

“Please. We don’t gotta chase girls, they come to us,” Jared said as he retrieved his basketball from the front passenger floorboard.

“Yea, I think you have better chances scoring some blow,” Jackson said as Jared closed his door.

“Ha, whatever Pops…dude,” Jared said as his father waved at both the guys and began pulling away.

Johnny smiled and waved, he thought the entire conversation was amusing, yet didn’t quite know where to chime in. He loved the way the two reacted with each other, but it was obviously something he was not accustomed to. Although Jared made no other mention of the small fallout in the early morning hours, Johnny still felt somewhat remorseful for saying what he said. Johnny knew Jared was a nice guy in general, everyone who took the time to know Jared knew that. Johnny was naturally paranoid.

He recognized his paranoia wasn’t limited to strange, anxiety-filled episodes where he convinced himself his father would be pulling in the Everetts’ driveway at any hour of the night. Johnny had a tendency to think and assume the worst. In regard to his current predicament, however, he hoped Jared might understand his paranoia. His current living quarters were, in fact, much greater than anything Johnny could have imagined. The possibility of it being potentially taken was always lingering on the back of the boy’s mind.

The basketball court included four large courts surrounded by twenty-foot-high, black, chain-link fencing. The fence was surrounded by large trees. It seemed a good majority of structures were surrounded by large trees. The trees appeared uninhabited. Tiny creatures must have sought sanctuary from the tormenting temperatures, as the higher species gathered to exert themselves in the ridiculous heat.

“Dude, those guys look ridiculously bad-ass,” Jared said as Johnny looked toward the adjoining basketball court to see who he was talking about. There were several young men that appeared to be in their twenties. They were basically showing off with nearly every move they made. It seemed impossible for the guys to make a simple shot; rather, they would partake in ridiculous displays in an effort to reach the goal. Surprisingly, the majority of these displays looked incredible.

Johnny and Jared began to shoot around, taking turns taking shots. Johnny noticed Jared continuously looking at the neighboring group of guys. It was apparent that neither of the boys wanted to draw too much attention to their mediocre abilities as they were in the presence of such a talented group in the neighboring court.

“Horse?” Jared suggested as he clumsily dribbled the ball. Johnny felt he was starting to sweat already, although it was only ten in the morning, the heat was already bearing down on him.

“Yea, man. I’m down,” Johnny replied as he watched Jared heave the ball from the three-point line. Although the yellow paint was highly degraded on the cement ball court, they were still able to make out the shot line. As the ball bounced loudly from the backboard, Johnny was quick to retrieve it. The neighboring court had a great deal of noise coming from the guys as they competitively played.

Jared watched and seemed in awe, and then the boy quickly turned his face from the group, as if he’d noticed something or someone.

Johnny noticed the sudden change in Jared’s behavior. Although Jared wasn’t in the most athletic mood, he was now obviously distressed for some reason.

“Man, what’s up? You know those guys?” Johnny asked as he studied Jared’s actions. Jared held his hands up, suggesting he wanted the ball passed to him.

“Just one,” the boy said as Johnny passed him the ball. “Man, I know Pops said not to leave, but I wanna run across the street to the C-mart and grab some water. Maybe just wait there ’til Pops gets back. I’m hot,” Jared said as he lightly dribbled the ball.

Johnny thought Jared was acting peculiar, so against his better judgment he decided to agree to leave.

Just as Johnny was about to speak, the boys heard an arrogant voice approaching them.

“How goes it, Mr. Everett?” a boy asked as he made his way across the court. He had a long, sun-bleached beard, and unkempt, unmanaged, chin-length hair. He was shirtless and appeared to have zero body fat and outstanding muscle definition, and looked like he lived on the track. Johnny immediately sensed the tension as the guy got closer. “Hey, Jared, you gotta minute? I need to holler atcha,” he said as he approached.

Jared submissively put his head down.

“We were just leaving, Erick,” Jared said as he began walking toward the street.

“Whoa, dude, you just got here. Hold up, man,” Erick said as he swiftly ran in front of the teen and began walking backward in pace with Jared. “Man, Jared. I really just wanted to talk to you real quick, dude,” Erick said as he stopped walking.

Jared stopped walking too, keeping his head down.

“What, Erick, do you want?” Jared asked, in an irritated voice.

“Man,” Erick continued, “I was just gonna see if maybe you wanted to keep score for us, but uh, then I forgot you might get that all fucked up. Maybe your new boyfriend here could do us a solid.” Erick had a cold smile on his face as the boy seemed delighted with the submissive reaction he was getting from Jared.

“I’m fine with numbers, asshole,” Jared said, continuing to divert eye contact.

As Johnny heard his friend being abashed, a rage took over him that he hadn’t necessarily felt before. “Hey, faggot!” Johnny yelled. “Yea you, faggot. I’m fuckin’ talkin’ to you, you motherfuckin’ piece of dog shit, pussy!” Johnny walked fiercely at Erick, yelling obscenities.

Erick at first seemed amused, but his demeanor rapidly changed in a matter of seconds as Johnny approached.

Johnny was now in the boy’s face, his voice resounded with rage. “What the fuck did you just say, faggot?” Johnny yelled, he noticed he attracted the attention of the crowd Erick had left seconds before.

“I…I was talking to—”

“I didn’t ask who you were talking to, I asked what the fuck you said!” Johnny yelled in a deep, belligerent tone.

“Dude, I’m out. I was just…I was just fuckin’ around,” Erick nervously said as he began slowly retreating backward. His face was flushed, and there was no sign of his larger party attempting to offer assistance.

Johnny continued to follow the boy, harassing him as Erick began walking faster.

“Hey! Hey!” Johnny yelled, pursuing the kid.

Erick continued to walk toward the safety of his group, but as he got closer to the crowd, he stopped.

“What, dude?” Erick asked. He appeared frightened by Johnny’s actions.

“Look at me, asshole,” Johnny said in low menacing voice as he approached Erick. “You ever talk to my friend like that again and I’ll beat the fuckin’ shit out of you. You piss-ignorant, cock suckin’ piece of shit. I’ll leave the fuckin’ buckle on,” Johnny said as he inched closer to the stunned Erick.

“What, dude? All right, man. Back off, I get it,” Erick said frightfully as he began a full retreat in his party’s direction.

Johnny stood his ground, watching Erick walk to his crowd.

“Man, when are you gonna learn to keep your mouth shut? You’re gonna get your ass whooped someday,” Johnny heard another of the guys scold as Erick rejoined them.

Johnny watched Erick walk to the red, wooden bench on the side of the court and sit. Briefly, Erick looked up in Johnny’s direction, but looked away as soon as he realized Johnny was still standing there. Satisfied that Erick was no longer a threat, Johnny turned to walk back to where he had left Jared.

Jared had a look of both gratitude as well as shock on his face. Johnny was still visibly angered as he approached his friend. Jared was now holding his hand upside down, insinuating he would like to offer a discrete high five.

Johnny obliged. “Let’s go get that water,” the boy said in a much calmer tone.

“Dude! That was freakin’ awesome! Did you see his face?” Jared asked as he looked at Johnny with his mouth gaping in admiration. Jared continued to smile at Johnny as they both walked toward the street. “Man, seriously. That was phenomenal!” Jared continued as the two boys reached the curb.

“Dude, I hate that word.”

“What word?” Jared asked curiously.

“The ‘f’ word. I hate the word fag or faggot,” Johnny said with a look of regret on his face.

“Well, man. I don’t like it either, but you were just pissed the hell off. You went off, dude, and it was fan-fuckin-tastic,” Jared said, smiling.

“Yea, it was pretty awesome to watch him take off like that,” the boy confessed as they began walking toward the store across the street. “But I like Brian,” Johnny continued, “I would never say that to him, and I would never want him to hear me say it.” The boys walked hastily across the empty street until they reached the other side.

“Man, I know that, you were just mad as hell. It’s pretty awesome,” Jared said, still smiling.

“My dad always called me that,” Johnny said, offering Jared a small piece of his pain.

“Called you what? Mad as hell?” Jared enquired.

“Nah, a faggot,” Johnny opened the door to the C-mart, letting Jared enter before him. The rush of cool air was almost too much as Johnny’s sweat began to cool rapidly.

“Man, that’s messed up,” Jared said as he looked at Johnny.

“Well, I don’t guess I gotta worry about that anytime too soon,” Johnny said as he walked toward the refrigerated 20 oz. bottles.

“Drinks are on me, man,” Jared said, obviously still appreciative as he opened the glass door.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Reflection

The day had been long and the evening had brought with it a welcoming transition. The air was calm, and yet the atmosphere offered a grudging sense of irony. The wildlife was ever present as the last piece of sunlight was slowly melting into the treetops.

Watching a few hundred tiny black ants dismember a dead cricket, Johnny paused momentarily from his ritualistic analysis of the day’s events to merely admire the efficiency and effectiveness the colony operated with. Every ant had a purpose; each one had a reason for its existence and knew exactly what it was supposed to be doing at that very second. The thought couldn’t escape the boy; he felt smaller than even the weakest ant. They all had a purpose, they understood their meaning in life, and Johnny could say neither of those things.

His back was becoming uncomfortable. He had been sitting on the ground with his back leaning against the west side of the horse stables. While chewing on random blades of grass, the boy had repeatedly reassessed his actions that day. There was no getting around the empty feeling of disgust that lingered deep in his gut. He was still angered by Erick’s comments and harassment toward his friend, but Johnny knew wholeheartedly that the way he defended Jared was, without a doubt, deplorable. Every fiber in Johnny’s body despised the degrading methods of mind control Johnny’s father unleashed on him throughout the years, yet he mirrored the man’s technique quite effectively on a complete stranger. As Johnny looked at the ants once more, he made a pact with himself. He had little control over the shampoo he used, the food he ate, or any of the trivial matters associated with his current state of existence; however, he knew he had to acquire as much control over his reactions as he possibly could.

He had questioned whether or not his lashing out was voluntary or not. In his mind, he had the optimistic idea that perhaps he had been in control, and perhaps he had merely made a bad judgment call in regard to the language he used. Words such as faggot and nigger made the boy feel literally nauseated when he was subjected to them, as he despised them. He hated the fact that he had used such diminishing words to momentarily overpower another boy’s psychology.

He wouldn’t allow himself to become absorbed, which was why he ran that night. His escape was the ultimate prophylactic move in regard to greatly reducing his chances of becoming all he despised. Now, it was time to embrace the fact that a healthy mind requires rigorous maintenance. He knew he would never have a fresh start, but he was ready to embrace the challenges associated with obtaining healthy mental hygiene.

The sound of approaching footsteps startled the pondering boy. Although the sound and pace were undeniably human, Johnny found himself increasingly jumpy while outdoors on the farm after the coyote incident. The thought of his father walking around the corner of the stable also briefly violated his imagination, but he pushed it back. He was becoming increasingly appreciative of the times when he could push memories and thoughts of his father to a place where they were no longer a threat to his current state of mind. He could never physically push the man away, so a slight amount of gratitude came with each minor mental victory.

“What is up, my buddy?” Jared asked loudly and happily as he came around the corner in his pajama bottoms, a ridiculously huge white t-shirt, and his father’s work boots. The boy’s hair was extremely wet. It was obvious that he had just showered.

“Not a hell of a lot, just thinkin’,” Johnny said with a welcoming smile. Jared stood in front of the boy and extended a hand to help him up.

“Well, man, that’s never done anyone a damn bit of good. Let’s go in,” Jared said excitedly as Johnny accepted his assistance. “Mom and Pops are taking Bryce to the sitters’ and going out with friends,” Jared said happily.

“So, we got the ice cream stash to ourselves?” Johnny asked sarcastically as he dusted himself off.

“Dude, we got a lot more than that. The night is ours, my man,” Jared replied as the two headed for the house.