Keeping the Tarnished (11 page)

Johnny desperately wanted to beg for the puppy to be spared, but he was too frightened. He had urinated himself, and he knew as soon as his father saw his wet clothes, it would only get worse. As the truck approached the pond, Thomas slammed on the brakes, sending Johnny’s face slamming into the dash and bloodying his nose. The pillowcase, and its unconscious contents, slammed into the front of the truck bed as the truck came to a screeching halt, cascading the scene in a cloud of dust. The man looked at his shaking son. “That’s a nice sound, ain’t it, fag?” he said in a deep, horrific tone as Johnny bled uncontrollably.

“Get the fuck out!” the man yelled at the boy. Johnny was shaking profusely as he exited the vehicle. Thomas left his truck running and parked in the middle of the road as he grabbed the pillowcase from the truck bed. There was no sign of life from the puppy, and Johnny hoped she had died from the force of hitting the metal truck bed.

“Get walkin’, asshole!” Thomas yelled as Johnny headed in the direction of the pond. Thomas raised his foot and kicked the boy in the rear, nearly knocking him down. The pond was shallow, and only about one hundred feet from the road.

“I swear to God if I get ate up by those damn mosquitoes because of you, you’re gonna pay!” the man yelled at Johnny. As they approached the still body of water, his father grabbed him by the hair on the top of his head and yanked him backward.

Johnny let out sharp cry as his neck popped from being yanked so violently, his nose still bleeding. The man then held the pillowcase out, insinuating that he wanted Johnny to take it.

“You did this to yourself. You killed this pup. Just you remember that, ya pussy,” his father said in a cruel, low voice.

Johnny, trembling, grabbed the pillowcase from his father, just as there was a slight movement from inside.

“Please,” Johnny muttered as the blood cascaded from his nose, down his face and off his chin to his clothes and shoes.

“Boy!” his father yelled at Johnny as he bowed up to him. Johnny turned from his father as the puppy began to whine quietly, he inhaled deeply, closed his eyes, and tossed the pillowcase through the air. As it landed about ten feet off the bank, it made a loud splash and sank quickly.

“You sure do throw like a girly fag,” the man said with a maniacal smile, as he watched the entire event in pure and utter delight.

Johnny stood staring at the pond as the ripples continued to make their way to the outer edge of the bank. The bullfrogs and insects had all momentarily halted their nightly serenade, as if they were honoring the fallen pup.

“You know what’s happening when we get home, don’t cha boy?” his father asked, as once again he grabbed the back of his son’s neck, but this time he leaned in closely. “I hate fags in my truck. You got five fuckin’ minutes to be in your room, you better get to running.”

Johnny awoke from his sleep. Without even attempting to analyze or process, the boy jumped out of his bed and ran for his bedroom door. Part of him knew he was indoors, but his mind was still there—with his father, and he knew he had to get away from the pond, and back to his father’s house. As Johnny burst into the hallway, he ran head-on into the wall directly across from his door with a force so hard it knocked him backward, flat on his back. As he rose to his feet in the pitch black hallway, he ran in the direction of the stairs. As the boy grabbed the railing, he lost his footing on the second step, and tumbled all the way down the stairs, hitting his head hard at the end of the staircase on the wood flooring.

“Stay here! If anything happens, call the police!” He heard Jackson yell out from the master bedroom, but he didn’t immediately recognize the man’s voice. Johnny raced to the front door as he saw Jackson enter the living room behind him, but it was too late. Johnny had managed to get the front door open, and was now sprinting down the driveway in a delusional race against time.

“Graye! It’s Johnny! Something’s wrong!” Johnny heard Jackson yell out as the raced out the front door after the boy.

“JOHNNY!”

Johnny could hear Jackson’s voice, but at this point, nothing made sense, he only knew he needed to get past the pond and to his room.

“JOHNNY!” he heard the man yell again. This time the voice was closer; Johnny knew he was being pursued. As he reached the road, he plunged even further into the chaotic confusion. He understood he needed to get to his father’s house, yet he had no idea which way to go. The boy’s lungs burned from the stagnant air and his body ached from the fall. He looked back and forth down the road, simply standing still, unsure of what direction he should take.

Total fear had overtaken any rational sense the boy might have had. He placed both hands on either side of his head and squeezed. “Where? Where is it!” the boy cried out in between breaths as Jackson ran up behind him.

“Johnny! What’s wrong?” Johnny heard the man cry out as he hit his knees and covered his head with his hands in a fetal position.

“I can’t find it! I’m sorry! I don’t know where it’s at! I can’t find it! Please! I’m sorry!” the boy yelled out repeatedly. He made no effort to look at Jackson’s face. He focused on the man’s feet while attempting to cover the back of his head just in anticipation of being beaten. The boy then heard the familiarity of Graye’s voice approach as the woman screamed out.

“Jackson! Johnny! What is wrong? Johnny turned to see the bottom half of her nightgown approaching him.

“Jackson! What is it?” the woman cried out.

“Johnny. Johnny, look at me,” Johnny heard Jackson demand of him as he felt the man place his hand on his back. Johnny recognized Jackson’s familiar voice and looked up at him, as Graye stood behind him, shocked and confused. Johnny lunged at Jackson, grabbing his shoulders in pure terror.

“Johnny, what is going on? What happened?” Jackson asked as he placed his hands on either side of the boy’s head.

“He’s here!” Johnny yelled out as his gaze danced about the country backroad looking for his father.

“Who? Who is here, Johnny?” Jackson demanded again.

“Johnny, sweetie, who is here? Your father?” Graye asked as she kneeled down and began rubbing Johnny’s back.

“Is he here?” Johnny asked as he heard his own voice begin to crack. He looked at both Graye and Jackson, waiting for an answer.

“No, bud. No one is here. No one is here but us,” Jackson said.

Johnny felt himself shaking violently and his clothing was soaked in urine.

“You’re okay, sweetheart.” Graye’s words were only slightly reassuring as she continued to rub his back.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry.” The boy began to sob. “I saw him at the pond, we were just at the pond,” Johnny proclaimed with absolute certainty.

“Bud, the only pond is miles from here. You’re safe. No one is going to hurt you here,” Jackson said as Johnny looked to him and Graye. He noticed the woman had tears in her eyes.

“I don’t understand. He was just here. He was just fucking here!” Johnny wailed as he began to cry harder. “My head! My mind ain’t right!” the boy cried out. He the felt Graye touch a tender goose egg on the back of his head. It shot pain through the back of his skull and up into the side of his face.

“Oh, sweetie. You did a number on your head,” he heard her say softly.

“It’s nothing we can’t work on, bud. Everyone needs help from time to time, Johnny. We can get you help,” Jackson said as Johnny looked up at him through his tears.

“I, I understand if you want me to go,” Johnny muttered as he attempted to stop crying.

“No. You’re not going anywhere,” Graye said as she placed her other hand on his shoulder.

“No, you’re not. This is your home now,” Jackson said in a reassuring voice. “Johnny, I’m not sure why you’re so afraid of your father. If you would just talk to us, maybe we could try to understand. But you need to know that you’re safe here. No one is coming for you out here,” Jackson said as he began to stand up. As he regained his footing, he reached his hand out to offer the boy assistance.

Johnny took his hand and the man pulled him up to his feet.

“Come on, bud. Let’s go get you cleaned up,” Jackson said as he motioned in the direction of the house.

Chapter Twenty-One

Unrest

Graye

He’s passed out. I’m sure the warm milk helped,” Graye said to her husband as she entered the kitchen.

Jackson was sitting at the kitchen table; his hands covered his mouth as his elbows were resting on the tabletop. “What the hell happened to him? Who the hell could…I just don’t get it,” Jackson said as he stared across the kitchen at the backsplash above the sink.

“I’m going to call Brian tomorrow. I’m sure he can offer some insight,” Graye replied as she grabbed the empty glass from the table and walked toward the sink.

Brian Mulberry was a dear friend of Graye’s and Jackson’s. He was also the school psychologist for the school system Graye taught for. Brian had been involved with the family extensively throughout the years. When her father passed away, Brian was there for her and her family, acting both as a professional counselor and a genuine friend.

“He needs help, Graye. But I meant what I said about this being his home.” Jackson broke his stare from the wall and looked at his wife.

“I agree completely. I’m happy that he’s here. But we need to get him the assistance he needs,” Graye replied, thankful her husband was so receptive to helping the boy through his mental debilitation.

Jared entered looking a little surprised to see both his parents in the kitchen at this hour.

Graye was not as surprised to see him, as he would often raid the fridge at night.

“Is everything okay? Why are you guys up?” the boy asked as he sleepily made his way into the kitchen, slapping his bare feet on the hardwood floor as he entered.

“What are you doing up, young man? It’s nearly two in the morning,” Graye snapped halfheartedly.

“I was just a little hungry, so I thought I’d grab a midnight snack I guess. Am I interrupting something here?” he asked his parents as he began to look concerned.

As Jared looked at his mother, she could tell by the boy’s expression that her abrasive tone had caught him off guard. Immediately, the woman felt remorseful as she rarely snapped at him.

“No, bud. You’re fine. I think there’s still some leftover bacon in the fridge. Knock yourself out. I think I’m going to try this sleep thing again,” Jackson said as he stood up from the table.

Graye watched as her son walked to the fridge and Jackson put the boy in a gentle head lock, kissing the back of his head.

“Pops, dammit.” Jared chuckled as he broke free.

“Good night, you two. I love you guys,” Jackson said as he exited the kitchen.

“Night, Pops,” Jared said as he opened the fridge, looking for the leftover bacon.

Graye quickly walked to her son and kissed his cheek, hugging him tightly. “Good night, son. I love you so much, sweetheart.”

“Love you too Mom, ya big meanie,” the boy said, smiling as he bit into a slice of cold bacon.

Graye smiled, and then quickly followed her husband out of the kitchen.

As she pulled the bedding back, she looked at her husband, who was obviously deep in thought. “What are you thinking?” she asked with a half-smile.

“What could have happened that was so horrible it would cause a fear like that in an eighteen-year-old kid?” Jackson asked as Graye searched her mind for answers, disgusted by the thoughts it conjured.

“I’m sure it was horrible. I don’t understand how someone can suffer so much, and still be able to smile and try to be happy,” Graye replied as she fluffed one of the pillows. “I think that is what breaks my heart the most. He wants to be happy, but he’s haunted by this fear that his father is going to find him.”

“It’s more than just that. Something else is going on. He genuinely thought the man was here, he thought he was with him tonight,” Jackson proclaimed passionately.

“I’ll call Brian in the morning. Maybe he can come for supper some night next week or something,” Graye replied as she walked toward the door to shut the light switch off.

“Are you afraid of what he is going to say?” Jackson asked as his wife flicked the light off.

“No, we need to know. That’s the first step to Johnny getting better. Like I said, I trust him, and I want him here, but he does need help. If he is going to have a productive school year and, well, a productive future, he is going to need help now.” Graye climbed into bed as they heard Jared place a dish in the kitchen sink. She kissed her husband goodnight as she listened to her son walk into the living room and up the stairs.

***

Johnny

As Jared got to the top of the stairs, the bathroom door opened. Johnny came into the hall, heading to his bedroom.

“Man, you can’t sleep either?” Jared asked as he approached Johnny in the hallway. That simple question let Johnny know that Jared was not yet clued in on the evening’s events.

At this point, Johnny fully understood that his father was nowhere near the farm, nor had he been at any point in the evening. He was once again back to his best mental clarity, although the boy would not allow himself to drift off to sleep again after the late night rendezvous.

“I guess not. Roof?” Johnny asked as Jared yawned and leaned up against the wall. Jared scratched the back of his head.

“Nah. I guess I better not. I just ate and had some milk and I’m actually kind of sleepy now,” Jared said, patting his stomach.

“All right then. See you in the morning.”

“Night, man.”

As Johnny entered his room, he found himself feeling embarrassed by the night’s events. At the same time, a depressing sense of discouragement came over him. He sat down on his bed and put his back to the wall on the right side of the window. He had finally escaped the clutches of his father, and from the shack of a house. He was finally free, yet it seemed like the further he got from that day, and the more time that passed, the worse his mind got. Then he thought about the incident in the kitchen. He was so sure that there was someone at the door that even Graye had difficulty convincing him otherwise. He knew that the Everetts were right, he needed help.

The only gratifying aspect about the situation was the idea of possibly obtaining mental stability. Johnny knew that the life he was living now was by far the best one he had ever lived. This past week had actually been beyond his greatest expectations. He smiled slightly at the thought of living at the Everett place and not having nightmares or delusions. The idea seemed almost unachievable, but he took comfort in what Jackson and Graye had said. Everything they said they were going to do so far, they followed through with.

Johnny drew his knees up to his chest as he sat on the bed. He knew this would be a long night, and he hoped it would pass quickly.