Kat Attalla Special Edition (24 page)

Despite exhaustion, she fought to stay awake. A battle she was slowly, but certainly, losing. “Erik. Do me one favor, please.”

“Anything.”

“Don’t wake me up when you leave.”

He tensed and for a long moment didn’t answer. “If that’s what you want.”

What she wanted, she couldn’t have. Good-byes weren’t easy in the best of circumstances. If she watched him go, she might break down and beg him to stay. That would only make the inevitable that much harder for both of them.

She could talk herself blue, but it wouldn’t accomplish anything except prove to Erik that she couldn’t handle separation. Perhaps if she let him go without making a scene, without making him feel guilty, he would see that she was strong enough to deal with the demands of his work—the long absences, the lack of communication while he worked undercover.

He held her close, stroking her back in slow, rhythmic circles. She felt herself drifting off. He pressed his lips against her cheek.

“I love you,” she thought she heard him say. When she woke up alone the next morning, she wondered if the whispered words had been a dream.

Chapter Fifteen

Erik removed his gun and put it in his desk drawer. Once he finished the paperwork, he faced a long weekend alone over Christmas. Music from the office party next door ruined his concentration. He wanted out before the festive atmosphere choked him. He hadn’t heard from
Victoria
since he left. Many times in the past month he’d picked up the phone to call her only to hang up before it connected.

Daniels popped his head inside the door. “The boss wants to see you.”

“I don’t suppose he’s handing out Christmas bonuses?”

“Yeah, right.”

More likely, the captain decided to take Erik up on his offer to work straight through New Year’s Day. He didn’t feel much like celebrating this year, so he offered to trade with someone who had a reason for going home.

“You gonna join the party after your meeting?” Daniels asked.

Erik rose from his seat. “No, I think I’ll head out.”

“You know, you’ve been a miserable SOB this past month. Why don’t you go see her?”

His partner’s words halted him. Daniels hadn’t mentioned
Victoria
since the end of the case. “She’s better off without me.”

“Well, you won’t get an argument from me. But it’s really her choice. And look at it this way. You certainly ate a lot better when you were with her.”

His stomach wasn’t the only organ in his body more satisfied when he was around Tori. “Weren’t you the one who told me to keep it professional? Something about a domestic noose or some such shit?”

“You didn’t listen. And hell, if I’d taken my own advice, I wouldn’t have two ex-wives.”

Erik strode away, shaking his head. Daniels pointed out the reason Erik should stay away. Love wasn’t enough. He couldn’t discuss his work. He didn’t understand her work. That didn’t leave them much in the way of conversation. Not that
Victoria
seemed to mind silence. Often, she seemed to prefer it.

Was it possible she would be happy with an absentee husband?

He shook his head. The holidays must be getting to him. He needed a drink, but Southern Comfort was a sorry substitute for the northern comfort he’d found with
Victoria
.

He paused outside the captain’s door. “You wanted to see me?”

“Come in.”

When he stepped into the office he noticed another occupant. DeMarco stood in the corner, arms folded across his chest. He didn’t crack a smile. Not a good sign.

“I want to speak to Sanders alone,” he said.

The captain nodded and closed the door on his way out. The bureau chief didn’t frequent the
Boston
office. Was he about to get a pink slip for his Christmas bonus?

“You’re wondering why I’m here?” DeMarco asked.

“Sightseeing?” Erik guessed.

DeMarco didn’t appear amused. Then again, not much about Erik amused the man, especially when it came to his sister. “No. We need to talk.”

“About what?”

“Tori.”

Erik wouldn’t share his personal life with anyone. Not even her brother. “You should talk to her.”

“I have.”

“And?”

“She told me to mind my own business. In words much less ladylike. Your influence, I presume.”

He could just imagine his feisty Tori telling her brother “bite me”. His Tori. He had no right thinking of her in a possessive nature. When he left her house he gave up any rights concerning her.

“Your sister isn’t easily influenced. She has a very strong will.”

“I know that now. Of course, she wasn’t always like that.” A long, awkward silence followed.

“How is she?” Erik finally asked.

“Ask her yourself. She’s in
Boston
for an interview.”

She came to
Boston
and didn’t contact him? He felt as if he’d been sucker punched. Why?

He told
Victoria
to get on with her life. He wanted that for her, after all. She didn’t need him showing up on her doorstep only to leave again in a few days time. “It’s not a good idea.”

“Your decision. If you change your mind she’ll be at the Sheraton until Saturday.”

What the hell was going on? The man hadn’t wanted Eric playing any part in Tori’s life. “You look confused, Sanders.”

“Surprised. You know what this job is like. You of all people should know she deserves a normal life.”

“The agency life is normal to her. She grew up with it. Unless you’re the one who can’t hack it.”

Erik eyed him coldly. “Meaning?”

“She loves you. She’s sure you feel the same, so she isn’t about to give up on you. If she’s right, then she knows what her life would be like and accepts it.”

“It’s not fair to her.”

“Bullshit! What you mean is that it’s easier for you. It’s a hell of lot harder to make a commitment than to fly solo.”

“And you think it’s right to leave her sitting at home alone waiting for me to show up between cases?”

DeMarco let out a laugh. “You have some ego. What makes you think she’d sit at home waiting for you? She does have a life, Sanders.”

“I know. Which is all the more reason that she doesn’t need me around.”

“Then at least have the guts to tell her that you don’t love her so she can find a man who will give her what you won’t.” DeMarco scratched his head in frustration. “Hell, I never would have figured you for a coward.”

“Me? I didn’t notice that you have a woman of your own waiting for you.”

“You know what? You’re right. I don’t have a wife because I was just like you. In fact, at forty-five years old, the only thing I have is a job. And if you think fieldwork lasts forever, guess again. Another couple of years, and you’re the one doing the backup work like your partner does for you. Then it’s on to a desk job where you deal with a bunch of young, smart-ass agents, who think they know so much more than you.” He reached for the door handle. “Take a good look, Sanders. I’m your future.”

* * * *

Upon his return from
Boston
, Steven stopped at the
Burlington
Senior
Center
. Inside, a local charity hosted a holiday dinner for the residents. He watched the woman behind the counter, dishing up food to the guests with a warm smile. He’d made it his mission to personally check that Elaine McMillan completed the community service she’d agreed to as part of her plea bargain. In keeping with the holiday spirit, she’d dressed in a red mini-dress trimmed in white fur and a bracelet of sleigh bells that jingled every time she served the food.

“Mrs. Watson, do you want the roasted potatoes or the mashed?”

“I better have the mashed. I misplaced my bottom teeth again.” The woman held out her plate with trembling hands. Elaine took it from her.

“Did you check your pocket? That’s where you left them last time.”

The old lady patted her pocket and smiled a toothless grin. “You’re right, Lanie. Thanks, you’re such a sweetheart.”

Elaine helped the woman to a seat at a table. Her patience impressed Steven. He wouldn’t have thought the woman had it in her.

“Why aren’t you out with a handsome man instead of stuck here with us?” Mrs. Watson asked.

“My last handsome man is the reason I’m here today,” Elaine said without bitterness.

Steven watched the exchange from the opposite side of the room. He had to admit, although not without a fair amount of resentment, that Sanders was right about Elaine too. She wasn’t the criminal type, but she would have rather done jail time than give up her accomplice. On her way back to the serving table, she caught sight of him. Her smile faded.

“Mr. DeMarco. Are you checking up on me?”

“Just checking in.”

She shrugged indifferently. “I’m the one who has to check in. With my probation officer. Which I do.”

He slid his hands into his pockets and walked towards her. “I know. I just came from seeing
Victoria
. She asked me to stop by and say hello. I told her I would.”

The mention of his sister put the light back in her eyes.
Victoria
had done Elaine a huge favor. The district attorney pleaded her case down to a misdemeanor because
Victoria
hinted that being an absent-minded professor, she might have a memory problem if it came down to a trial. Payback, she’d called it. In her own way, Elaine had protected
Victoria
by setting herself up to get caught.

“How’s she doing?”

“Not bad, considering.”

“Considering what I did to her?” she finished for him.

Incorrectly, he thought. “No. Considering she resigned from her teaching position before she had another job lined up. She plans to go back into research.”

“Good for her. You know, I actually bought her book.”

“What did you think of it?”

“I didn’t understand a word,” she said honestly. “But it looks impressive on the coffee table.”

“I’ll let you in on a secret. I don’t understand it either. It’s an academic book for physicists.”

“Oh, good. I thought I was just stupid.” A long pause lingered. “I have to get back to work.”

“I thought you might like to have dinner later.”

“With you?”

He wasn’t sure if he heard surprise or disgust in her pitched voice. He exhaled a groan. “I wouldn’t invite you to go someplace by yourself.”

“I thought you guys from the agency weren’t supposed to associate with felons.”

“Since you weren’t convicted of a felony, you aren’t a felon.”

“Well, I’m not the flying nun either.”

Damn, the woman was infuriating. Couldn’t she give him a straight answer? “Do you want to have dinner or don’t you?”

She threw her arm dramatically across her chest. The bells jingled. “How could a girl refuse such a sensitive invitation?”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Steven grumbled. “Oh, and wear the bracelet. It will help me keep track of you.”

“Why? Are you expecting me to skip out halfway through the meal?”

“You wouldn’t be the first.”

She put her hands on her hips and stared him down. “Hey, I might not be smart enough to understand quantum physics, but I’m not dumb enough to skip out on a free meal.”

He shook his head. “I’m going to have to tell my genius sister that she was wrong about you.”

“What did she say?”

“She thought you were interested in me.” He turned and headed for the exit. “I’ll pick you up at eight.”

“DeMarco?”

He stopped and turned back at the door.

Her expression softened. “She wasn’t wrong.”

* * * *

Victoria
strode down the crowded street at a brisk pace. With only two days left until Christmas, the Bostonians rushed around doing last minute shopping. Outside her hotel, a sidewalk Santa clanged his bells. Her first inclination was to cross the street, but she refused to allow her run-in with Becker make her afraid of a childhood icon. She pulled a five dollar bill from her pocket and dropped it in the collection pot.

“Bless you, dear. You’ve been a very good girl, I can tell, so I’m sure you’ll be getting a very special gift this year.”

She had been a very good girl the past month, but she’d had a lot more fun when she’d been a bad girl. She walked though the spinning door and into the lobby. A large tree shimmered with colored lights. She checked for messages then took the elevator to her fifth floor room. After her long day, she just wanted to get to her room to kick off her heels. So naturally, her first try with the card-key didn’t work.