Now Daddy is shouting like you've never heard. And he keeps repeating a different F word. G is for Grandma. Remind her that she'll be dead soon. H : Hide and seek! It's a great game to play. Quick! Climb in here! They'll be searching all day. I 's for identity: easily stolen. Just take some guy's credit card. BOOM! Now you're Nolan. J is for justice. Make sure things are fair. If somebody wrongs you, just cut off their hair. K is for knifeball. L is for looting. It's time for a spree. Throw a rock through a window! The toys are all free! M is for marker, your #1 tool for writing your name on the walls of your school. N is for nozzle, the end of the hose. Water the carpet and watch how it grows! O is for open things up with your teeth. If your molars fall out, more will grow underneath! P is for push when you're waiting in line. Do you want to move forward? Just aim for the spine.
[We'll figure out a drawing for this later.]
Q is for quit at the first sign of struggle. As long as you . . . um . . . Q is for . . . whatever.