Just Her Luck (72 page)

“And who are you?” she scoffed, dismissing me with a glance. “His girlfriend?”

Sniggering, she let out a laugh worthy of a goose.

Honk. Honk.

I mentally laughed gleefully.

This sad creature is Maura?

Oh, this is gonna be good.

“Oh, Reeve. You have
got
to be kidding me. Surely you could do better than
that
?” She shook her head at him pathetically and put her hand on his chest.

He shoved it off and scowled at her, a dark glare worthy of my dark knight, stroking my shoulder comfortingly.

“She’s more than my girlfriend, Miss Tremaine, she’s my fiancée and I won’t have anyone runnin’ their mouth off about her.
Got it.”

Maura snorted and put her hands on her razor sharp hips, smiling with all the ease of a predator who thought she’d just found easy prey.

She’s funny.

No, really, she’s frickin’ hilarious.

“I hope you don’t think he’s going to
actually
marry you or anything,” she put in helpfully, giving me a sympathetic smile, “he just says that until he’s done with you.” She patted my arm patronizingly. “Then he dumps you and moves on to the next piece of white trash he comes across.”

Ten took a sip of his beer, watching the show, and Eustice munched away on a corn dog.

I gave her a simpering smile, patting her hand back.

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head none, Mary. I have it all figured out.”

“It’s Maur…”

I laughed and winked.

She blinked. “Uh, you do?”

“Sure.” I nodded and leaned in to whisper.

“I’m really just Reeve’s fuck buddy. He’s sensitive and gets defensive when someone insults the first
good
piece of ass he’s had in years.” I looked at her meaningfully, smiling crookedly, “
Years.”

Her jaw dropped.

“Can you imagine all the saddle tramps and whores he had to go through to get to me? I tell you, it’s a wonder his shmeckle didn’t fall off.”

“Vieve!” Reeve garbled, his face mottling.

I gave him a saucy smile, mouthing, ‘just go with it’.

Eustice and Ten grinned like idiots.

“You’re… you… what?” Maura started, not quite believing her ears.

“Yep. You betcha. And you know what? He doesn’t know it yet, but I’m gonna knock him up good and make him marry me. Yes siree. My daddy has a shotgun loaded and ready to go, and Uncle Bud is a preacher man. They said to give ‘em a call when I got him all trussed up and knocked up. So you see, Martha…”

“Maura.”

“Whatever.” I waved my hand airily. “I’m not too worried about the
how
, just the
when
.” I adjusted my shirt, smoothing down the front. “To tell you the truth, Marty, I think I’ve already done it. Heh. Heh. Get it? Done it?” I elbowed her hard and wiggled my brows. “Know what I mean?”

Her eyes widened to saucers, and I gave a raunchy laugh.

She was gawking at this point, jaw about to hit her knees, and it was terribly hard to keep a straight face, but I managed it.

I rubbed my hand on Reeve’s flat abdomen, giving it a few loving pats.

Ten, who’d been quietly drinking and eating as he watched things unfold, Eustice by his side, spit his beer everywhere, and Eustice sprayed him with corndog.

“Yep,” I nodded, wiping beer and corndog off my arm casually, “just want to get the deed done before Jr here arrives… that way he can’t back out, but don’t you worry, it will all work out.”

I shrugged and hooked my finger on one of Reeve’s belt loops.

I winked at him dramatically as I gave it a tug. “Isn’t that right, baby?”

Reeve’s hand was covering his face and his shoulders shook.

The poor man has either snapped and is weeping openly or he’s laughing his ass off.

I’m hoping for the latter.

“It’s the hormones,” I grimaced, whispering too loud, “Makes him
touchy
.”

Miss Maura was scowling now, face pink, not liking my humor so much.

Poor woman is just now catching on.

And he wanted to marry her?

How sad.

“Come on, sweetums!” I tutted my faux pregnant fuck buddy loudly, “You know how you get when you haven’t eaten for a while.”

We started to walk away when Maura shouted, “Oh, you think you’re so funny! Who knew Reeve was a chubby chaser! You’re an abomination to
real
women!”

I turned around slowly, pivoting, face intentionally impassive.

Reeve growled a little, standing right behind me.

I put my hand behind me, pressing into his stomach, moving slightly to keep him from butting in, letting him know I got this.

Bring it on, mega bitch.

“Is that so?”

“You’re kidding right? You’re a fucking joke,” she scoffed, adjusting her purse on her shoulder, flipping her hair again. “Who do you think you are, traipsing around with
him
, acting like you’re better than everyone?!”

She stormed up to me, kicking dirt up in her wake. “You’re nothing but a money grubbing,” she flicked my shoulder, “cheap,” she eyed my clothes, “frizzy haired, pin cushioned, fat assed cow!”

“Uh, Maura,” Ten said slowly, “I don’t think…”

“Shut up, Tennessee,” she snapped, snubbing her nose at him, “nobody’s ever cared what
you
think. You’re just as bad as her. I can call ‘em from a mile away. You’re all the same. You’d have lost your pathetic little plot of dirt a long time ago if you weren’t such a suck up with the Harrison’s.”

“Pot, meet kettle,” Eustice muttered caustically, eyeing Maura hatefully.

“Nobody cares…” she huffed.

“I do.” I stepped into her personal space, a half a foot separating us. “You want to run that by me again, fancy pants, because I don’t think I heard you right. It sounded like you were insulting my friends.

Reeve was shifting around restlessly, edgy, irritated I didn’t want him to step in.

“You think you’re something special, honey?” Maura gave a fake laugh. “You could never be enough! You’ll never be able to give him the things I did! Do what I could do! He’s never gotten over me! I was the one!”

I laughed too, but it was more menace than anything.

Advancing on her, my lips curled back into a vicious grin, baring my teeth, chuckling with dark humor.

“Oh, Maura, Maura, Maura… Didn’t your mama ever teach you how to play nice?”

I was going for Jack Nicholson in the shining, the look on my face, my grin a little unhinged.

I tsk-ed her and laughed, backing her slowly towards a small fenced in section off to the side.

“You shouldn’t tease someone who’s been heavily medicated for the last few years.”

“Medicated?” She swallowed a little. “You’re lying.”

“Why would I lie about something like that? What do I have to gain from it?”

My eye started twitching and for once, I was thankful for it.

She noticed and her gaze whipped back and forth between the gleam in my eyes and the twitching muscle.

“It really is a good thing Reeve isn’t into you anymore.” I shrugged helplessly, making my movements jerky. “Sometimes…” I sighed heavily, giving her a guilty look, “I get upset and then… well, I can get a little
jealous
at times.” I smiled reassuringly, brushing off a fake piece of lint. “You, of all people, should understand, don’t you?”

She didn’t even realize she was backing up, her hand gripping her purse while the other one fidgeted nervously with the itty bitty strap on her tank top.

One little flick and it looked like the flimsy material would snap.

A flicker of unease crossed her face and she gave a strained smile.

“I don’t know what you…”

“All those men you slept around with. Some of them must have been married. It must have been real hard,” I said, staring at her beseechingly.

Her face hardened, her false bravado from earlier trying to make a comeback.

I wiggled the fence she was leaning on, testing out its strength.

It wobbled, and I smiled inwardly.

“There’s something truly…”

“Shut up,” I barked, my hand slapping the wood on the make shift fence, making her jump, “It’s my turn now.”

I gave her a little push, more a gentle shove than anything, but she got my point.

I’m stronger than you, ya blonde tramp. Watcha gonna do?

Her eyes widened and she looked around for help, chewing the inside of her cheek.

“I’ve been thinkin’, you know, about what you said. You might have somethin’ there,” I said thoughtfully.

“Oh, do I?” she muttered sarcastically, feigning boredom.

“Yup.”

“About what?”

“The stuff about him and you, never giving him what you did, me never being enough, that stuff.”

“Glad you’ve finally come to your senses,” she sniffed.

“Me too.”

“Genevieve…” Reeve started.

It happened so fast, Maura didn’t have a chance to blink.

I screeched and launched myself at her, sending her flipping over the rail, catching the wobbly fence for balance, watching as she splashed in the mud and pig shit, squealing indignantly.

I straddled the old warped wood, giving her an exaggerated wink, my legs swinging happily back and forth.

“You are absolutely right, Maura, my dear. I couldn’t have said it better myself,” I chuckled.

“Ahhhh! Ack!” she screamed, slipping and sliding around, her hair plastered to her like a messy, crusty brown halo.

I grinned evilly.

She screamed again and glared at me. “You’re insane!”

“Maybe,” I shrugged, kicking my boots off, shoving my socks in them, rolling up my pant legs to swing my leg over the side, squishing as I hopped down into the mud.

I waded towards her and gave her a nudge once she was up on her feet.

It sent her toppling back on her ass.

I leaned down over her, hands on my knees as I squatted down.

“We can either do this the easy way,
me talking-you listening,
or we can do this the hard way,
I beat the fuck out of your sorry scrawny ass and pound it into you.”

I backed up a little and spread my arms wide, “Your choice, Mega bitch, what’ll it be?”

She spluttered, her face a mud spotted, splotchy red.

I raised a brow, and she clamped her mouth shut.

Grinning, I gave her a patronizing smile. “Good girl.”

So she has a few brain cells after all.

I moved back in, crowding her.

“Just so there’s never any confusion on your end, let’s recap, shall we?” I flicked a clump of mud off her head.

She flinched, cowering a little, piggies snuffling nearby in the pen, one coming up to smell me.

I caressed its ears absently, coaxing it towards me.

“He never really did get over what happened with you two, but in an entirely different context. P.S.
You’re a bitch
,
annndddd
of course I’ll
definitely
never be able to give Reeve the things you did, big negatory on that front, princess gonorrhea. You really topped the cake on that one, didn’t you? Even better than getting caught porking another faceless, unknown male shortly before your wedding day, right? Did you give him the clap too?”

She gasped, outraged and embarrassed, glancing around frantically, making sure no one overheard.

I got up to walk away, smirking over my shoulder, “Oh, and you’re right, I know I could never be enough…”

Her rustling around hurriedly behind me was the first indication she’d taken the bait.

She thought to sneak up behind me and sucker punch or jump me, maybe whack me with her purse-
typical coward’s maneuver
.

It was what I’d been waiting for.

I ducked at the last minute, tucking myself safely to the side.

Chuckling under my breath, I looked back, watching things unfold.

Ah, the old ‘slug a bitch with your purse’ move.

Classic.

She flew, expecting to hit something solid,
aka me,
doing a quick spin before she tripped over the pig I’d been petting a moment ago.

The pig squealed and took off, getting caught up in the strap on her choice of weaponry and taking off with her purse.

She chased after it, screaming and squealing, enraged.

I climbed back up on the fence and straddled it, watching her struggle fruitlessly.