Just Breathe Trilogy Box Set (116 page)

It’s eight in the morning and Joe, Sadie and I have already been up for a while along with Maggie and Henry. The five of us lounge in the living room while Anna and the rest of the maids prepare breakfast. After snuggling for a while, Joe journeys over to the piano and starts playing, hoping to softly wake the rest of our friends so we don’t have to knock and overhear any
noises
coming from their rooms.

When I go into the kitchen to get some more tea for Maggie and me, Anna gives me a look — the kind of look that says
he’s going to find out eventually when your belly starts to stick out
. I stare back at her, widening my eyes and lifting my brows in response when no one is looking. What does she want from me? Doesn’t she know this isn’t easy?

As I’m about to leave the walk-in pantry with the honey, Anna traps me.

“I know,” I say in a hushed voice. “I’m just trying to find the perfect time.”

With a kind smile, Anna replies, “There’s never a perfect time, Emma. You make the time perfect yourself when you tell him.”

“I’ll tell him when I’m ready,” I say, checking to make sure no one else can hear us.

I know Ann means well, but I’m still trying to come to terms myself that I’ve got a human being growing in my belly.

She lifts her right brow slightly.

“I will,” I repeat, walking past her.

I take the tray back over to the coffee table and pour Maggie another cup before I fill mine. Joe continues to play while Maggie and Henry snuggle on the left side of the couch and I resume my spot on the right with Sadie.

Jimmy and Allen are the first to arrive downstairs, slumping onto the loveseat for about five minutes before heading into the kitchen, followed by Jared and Nathan gracing us with their presence. We chat, trying to decide on what today’s adventure should be.

“Here, Emma,” Jimmy offers, holding a drink to me.

“I’m good, thanks,” I refuse politely, getting a whiff of the alcohol that’s inside it. My stomach does a little flip — not the good kind of flip.

“Come on,” Jimmy coaxes, pushing it more toward my face. “You always have one of Allen’s world famous
mornin’ ritas
.”

“Thanks, but I’m . . .” I stop mid-sentence when a more pronounced feeling of nausea appears. I try to breathe in through my nose to settle my stomach, but that only makes the issue worse.

“You okay, Em?” Jimmy asks with a confused look on his face.

My hand slaps over my mouth as the smell of the tequila enters my nostrils more, eliciting the contents of my stomach to rise again. Not liking what’s about to happen if I stay in the room, I rush to the closest bathroom.

“Emma?” Joe calls from the piano.

“Emma?” Maggie and Jared call after me.

Footsteps are heard behind me, but I don’t bother to look as I sprint to the half bath that is between the kitchen and living room. My hands struggle to get the toilet seat up as the vomit surfaces. When the first round expels itself from me, my foot reaches back to stop the door from being opened but can’t keep it closed as more bile forces its way out of me.

“I got her,” Maggie calls, pushing the door open.

As I heave into the bowl, Jared, Nathan and Joe are pounding on the door and mumbling something.

“I’ve got this, boys,” Maggie announces. “Give us a moment, okay?”

My body trembles as the heat in the room elevates, forcing me to break out into a cold sweat. Maggie pats my neck with one of the towels and offers to help me to stand so I can rinse my mouth out in the sink. I splash some cool water on my face and then slump to the floor.

“How far are you?” Maggie inquires.

“What?” I ask confused.

“Emma, seriously?”

“What?”

With one of her sweetest smiles, she says, “How far
along
are you?” Maggie’s eyes drift down to my belly and back up to see my reaction.

I shake my head, not wanting to acknowledge that she’s telling me she understands.

Maggie moves closer, draping her arm around my shoulders. My hands wrap around her waist and pull her tight as her free hand brushes the sweaty strands of hair away from the edges of my face. “I take it you just found out and haven’t told Joe,” she whispers in my ear.

I nod and tears start to flow from my eyes.

Maggie gives me time to collect myself and I’m grateful for her patience.

“This is exciting,” she states with exuberance in her voice.

I jerk back my head and furrow my brows in response.

“We’re going to be pregnant together,” she muses.

“Shhhhh,” I command.

“I didn’t say it that loud,” she giggles. She pauses for a few seconds. “Is that what Kim told you when you saw her?”

I nod.

“How far?” she repeats.

I shrug my shoulders. “I freaked out when she told me.”

“Who else knows?”

“Just you and Kim,” I verify.

“When were you planning to tell Joe?” she searches.

“I don’t know,” I say. “I still can’t wrap my head around it . . . oh, Anna knows too.”

“How does she know?”

“I had her get me some tests a few days after Kim told me,” I return. “I had to see it myself . . . not that I didn’t believe Kim . . . I just . . . .” I let out a sigh, not knowing really what to say.

“I understand completely,” Maggie assures. “You know . . . we should probably head out there. Jared and Joe will breakdown the door if we take too long.”

“Yeah,” I agree with a nervous chuckle.

All six of the men rush toward Maggie and me when we exit the bathroom. Joe and Jared are standing the closest, flanked by Henry, Nathan, Jimmy and Allen. Joe gets to me first, placing his hands on my hips since I fight off being touched.

“Hey,
Kitten
. Are you feeling okay?” Jared searches, standing right next to Joe and reaching for my arm.

“Maybe we should take her to the doctor,” Nathan suggests.

“I’m fine,” I object, continuing to pull away from being touched by all of them.

“Emma, what’s wrong?” Joe inquires with pain and concern in his eyes.

“Nothing,” I lie.

“That’s not nothing,
Kitten
,” Jared challenges. “I can’t remember the last time you were sick.”

“I’m not sick,” I counter.

All of my friends seem to be surrounding me now and I’m starting to feel dizzy.

“Here, Ms. Emma,” Anna offers, handing me a glass of water and some crackers.

“Thanks, Anna,” I reply, taking a huge gulp.

“Easy there,
Kitten
,” Nathan comments. “You could make yourself sick if you down the water like that.”

“I’m fine,” I snap and then return the cool glass to my lips. I do my best not to look at any of them as I finish draining the liquid down my still sore throat — Joe keeps trying to make eye contact as well as hold me even though I fight it while also stuffing two crackers in my mouth.

Jared places his hands on the front and back of my head as I get another cracker. “You’re warm,
Kitten
.”

“I’m fine,” I object, pulling away.

“Emma,” Joe calls. “Maybe we should get you checked?”

“I’m not sick, God damn it!” I shout.

“Well, if you aren’t sick, then what the hell made you throw up?” Jimmy inspects.

“The tequila probably,” Maggie suggests.

I shoot Maggie a glare and her only response is a shoulder shrug.

“The tequila?” Allen searches.

“She didn’t drink any,” Jimmy states.

“The smell,” Maggie mentions nonchalantly.

“You’ve never had trouble with tequila before,” Nathan comments. “You must be sick for the smell of it to make you sick.”

“I’m not fucking sick!” I yell, almost spitting cracker crumbs out onto my shirt and the floor. I gulp another round of water that Anna refilled for me.

“Emma,” Joe presses.

“She doesn’t look sick,” Nathan comments.

“I think she looks a little off,” Allen states.

“I’m not sick,” I bark.

“Then what could it . . .” Jared starts.

“I’m fucking pregnant,” I blurt. My breath catches in my throat, almost causing me to choke, and my eyes shoot to the floor.

There’s not a single sound in the entire house — not even from the staff in the kitchen.

My eyes lift and nervously find Joe, scared for his reaction — this is not how I wanted him to find out. Moisture collects in my eyes, pleading with him to not be mad and revealing how scared I am about the whole situation. I force my eyes to blink because my tears are clouding my vision.

When I can see clearly, Joe’s smiling and he moves toward me, cups my face and kisses me. Our lips stay connected as he pulls me closer. My hands grab onto his shirt by his hips to make sure I’m still here — that I haven’t floated away or am dreaming.

“Holy fuck,” Jared says in shock.

“Did she just say that she’s . . . ?” begins Jimmy.

“Yep,” Nathan confirms.

“Who knew?” Jared asks.

“No one,” Maggie states. “I guessed it with her reaction to the tequila. Ohh . . . wait. Kim knows.”

“Marry me,” Joe requests with his lips brushing mine.

“What?” I snap, jerking my head back.

“Oooo,” Nathan gasps.

“Marry me,” Joe repeats, leaning in to kiss me, but I move away.

“No,” I say heatedly, pushing him away. “Fuck no.”

“Emma,” Joe begs.

I yank my arm from his attempted embrace and head to the bedroom to get away.

“That was not the smartest way to propose, man,” Henry comments as my foot hits the first step to the stairs.

My feet race up the steps and Sadie is already by my side. I slam the bedroom door behind me and sit on the edge of the bed, trying to collect myself — what just happened?

Holy fuck. Joe gives me the complete opposite reaction than I was expecting — okay, maybe not the complete opposite, but I sure as hell didn’t expect him to fucking propose. What the hell was that? What the hell was my response? Why did I react that way? Why didn’t I say yes? I’m so fucking stupid.

“Emma?” Joe’s voice calls timidly from the other side of the door as he knocks. “Emma? Beautiful?”

“It’s . . . open,” I answer between gulps of air from crying.

I feel Joe’s hands on my head. When I open my eyes, I find him kneeling in front of me.

“Emma,” Joe calls, making sure that I see him.

“I’m sorry,” I whimper. “I’m sorry for how you found out. I . . . .”

“It’s okay,” he interrupts.

“No,” I object. “No . . . it’s not.”

“Emma,” he says sweetly. “It’s okay.” His lips return to mine and my arms immediately wrap around his neck.

We stay entwined at the foot of the bed for some time.

“Emma, can I ask you something?” he poses gently.

“Yeah,” I answer, sniffing my last tears away.

“Do . . . do you want to keep it?” he searches timidly.

“What?” I return.

“The baby,” he clarifies. “Do you want to keep it, or . . . .”

“I’m not going to kill it,” I snap. “I don’t care if you want to be . . . .”

His lips press firmly against mine, interrupting me. “Good. I want it . . . that is, if you want to keep it.”

“I can’t kill it . . . not after what happened to Maggie,” I share. “And, I sure as hell will not give it away. I’ll do this on my own if you don’t want to be around. I can . . . .”

“Emma,” Joe calls loudly.

“What?”

“I want it . . . the baby,” he confirms. “I want you. I want our baby. I just want to make sure you feel the same. It would kill me if you didn’t want to keep it, but if that’s what you want I will . . . .”

My mouth forces itself against his, cutting him off as I realize what he’s saying. “Seriously?”

“Yes,” he confirms. “Seriously. I love you. Why wouldn’t I want the baby? It’s a part of me. It’s a part of you. It’s a part of us.”

“I’m sorry,” I say bashfully.

“For what?”

“For not telling you sooner. For snapping at you when you . . . proposed downstairs,” I share. “For thinking that you might not want the baby. For . . . .”

“Don’t, beautiful,” Joe soothes. “Don’t. Don’t apologize. It’s okay.” He softly pushes strands of my hair out of my face.

“No . . . no, it’s not,” I object.

“Yes,” he laughs. “Yes. It’s okay.” Joe shifts my body back on the bed and continues to kiss me.

With so many emotions laced in his actions, Joe begins to undress us both. His fingertips caress every single inch of my body as his lips taste my skin all the way down between my legs. My body joyously celebrates the sensations coursing through my veins as Joe’s mouth slowly builds up the first orgasm that bursts inside me. As he shifts up my body, I try to get on top of him to return the favor, but he denies me.

“No,” Joe counters sweetly. “Just relax and enjoy.” He rolls us so he’s back on top.

“What’s wrong?” I ask when he keeps his body hovering over my belly a few inches.

“Nothing,” he states.

“Joe?”

“I . . . I don’t want to hurt the baby,” he reveals bashfully.

“You won’t hurt the baby,” I reply.

“You sure?” he checks.

“Yes,” I confirm. “Please . . . Please. I need you. I need you to . . .” my voice falters.

“What?” he checks.

Brushing the few strands of his hair off his forehead, I reveal, “I . . . make love to me.” My body trembles with desire at the words that just slipped past my lips and for the expression of pure joy on Joe’s face.

“Yeah?” Joe says, eager to meet my request.

“Yeah,” I repeat, bobbing my head.

Joe removes the rest of his clothes as he continues to always keep his lips on me. “Do we need protection?”

“No,” I giggle. “The baby is already there. Condoms won’t be needed until after I . . . you know . . . the baby is out.”

“I like the sound of that,” Joe says with a smile.

Our mouths reunite, entwining and creating a new song between us — a song of unspoken passion, desire and emotions that I am unable to express in any other way than with my body. His hands explore my skin as if it’s the first time. Each kiss is laced with the love I see in his eyes each time he tells me that he loves me. Each thrust represents the connection of our souls converging, blurring the lines of the physical and meshing everything into a single entity. Each orgasm is like another star being born in some far-off galaxy that is only meant for the lovers and dreamers of the world.