Just a Geek (28 page)

After something like this had happened a lot of times, I finally had the last straw: I had been cast by Milos Foreman to be in
Valmont
. I had gone through lots and lots of callbacks, I had met Milos personally a number of times, and he was really supportive of me and told me, "I want you in my movie." I was going to go to Paris, I was going to be in this movie and stuff, and we were going to shoot it during the hiatus. The shooting schedule for
Valmont
would have carried me over about a week into the regular season schedule into
Star Trek
. I would have had to sit out the first episode of the year, right. That's not a big deal, it's not like I'm the fuckin' Captain, you know. At that point, I was the guy who pushed buttons and said, "Yes, sir!" So, I said to the people on
Star Trek
, "I need to be written out of this particular episode, because I'm going to do this movie and my film career's going to take off." This is after Gene Roddenberry had died. Had Gene been alive, it would have been no problem at all, because Gene was that kind of guy. Gene would have said, "Great! Go ahead, you do what you need to do," because he was that kind of person. After Gene died, a very different type of person took over, and he said, "We can't write you out because the first episode of the season is all about you. It focuses entirely on your character and it's your story..." I said, "Well, this really sucks, but I'm under contract to you guys and if that's your call and if that's what you say I have to do, I have to do." I had to pass on the movie.

A couple of days before the season was ready to premiere, they wrote me out of the episode entirely. They were sending me a message. The message was, "We own you. Don't you ever try to do anything without us." That was the last straw for me. I called my agents and said, "They don't own me. It's time for me to leave this show. It's time for me to be gone." That's what really pushed me over the edge. It's not worth it anymore. That's why I left.

But Gene was alive then. You're a liar!

Many people have pointed this fact out to me, and you're right. Gene was alive. But he was in poor health, and wasn't heavily involved in the production of the show at that time. That's why I thought that he had already died when I did that interview. Hey, I make mistakes. Too bad I don't have FOX News to help me cover them up.

Will you be in any of the movies?

Well, I worked for two days on
Star Trek X
(
Star Trek OSX.1
, if you're a Mac user), but my scene was cut. Maybe it will be on the DVD.

I bought the DVD, and you're not on it! You're not even in the full-screen version!

Well what the hell are you doing buying a full-screen version of anything?

I am quite surprised that they didn't include my scene on the DVD, to be quite honest, and I have no idea why they didn't. It certainly lends some weight to the theory that TPTB really have it out for me, doesn't it?

What is your favorite episode?

My favorite episode to watch is "The Inner Light." Picard gets zapped by a beam of alien light. Although he's unconscious only for a few minutes on the
Enterprise
, he lives out an entire life on another planet.

My favorite episode that I worked on is "The First Duty," because it was one of the few times I got to work with actors my own age. Robbie McNeill, who was on
Voyager
, played opposite me in that episode, and we had hella fun. Hella hella hella. Robbie told me that he had been on a soap, and the producers had created this character arc for him where he was to work with this other actor most of the time. Apparently, they had so much fun and made each other laugh so much that the producers rewrote the entire character arc to made sure they'd never be in any scenes together for the rest of the series. It's because I liked Robbie so much that I can't crack on
Voyager
too hard, even though it sucks.

Did it bother you that the fans didn't like Wesley?

Yes, at the time, it really really did. Imagine being a teenager, trying to handle all the things a teenager has to deal with. Now multiply that times being on a HUGE TV show and having all these people hate you. It was tough.

Although, I recently realized something. At the time, I kept saying to people, "It's a TV show! Don't take it so seriously! It's just a character!" But at the same time, I really was taking it seriously, as well as personally. And it hurt. But I didn't handle myself with much grace, which I think echoes Wesley's situation: he had the intellectual capacity to be with these adults, but not the emotional capacity. It was the same for me, in real life. I've written some things about it in my weblog, and I write extensively about it in my forthcoming [this] book,
Just a Geek
.
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I hated Wesley!

Really? He always had such nice things to say about you.

Is it true that you were really Ashley Judd's first onscreen kiss, and you ruined her for the rest of her life?

Yep. It is 100% true. Ashley Judd played Robin Lefler in the episode "The Game," and Uncle Willie went to bootytown. And by bootytown, I mean when the cameras stopped rolling, we were just two actors doing a scene. Only one of us had a boner.

Do you stay in touch with any of the cast members?

I wish I could say that we hang out all the time, but that's just not the case. I really, really like all of them, and the cast is the thing I miss the most about working on
Star Trek
. The thing is, when we all worked together on the show, I was a lame-ass teenager, and they were all cool adults in their 30s, so it's not like we had a lot of similar interests. Now that I'm a cool adult in my late 20s, they're all old and in their 40s, so they are *so* uncool. Just kidding. Truth is, when I am around them, I feel like I am a lame-ass teenager all over again, and I clam up. I once told Patrick how I felt so lame, because I felt like I didn't appreciate them when I was younger, and I wished that I had. Patrick put his hand on my shoulder and said, "My dear, I always related to you and thought of you as a fine actor." Patrick is very cool.

Was anyone a dick?

No. believe it or not, nobody was a dick. Everyone was very, very cool. When you're on a show like that, you spend about 10 hours a day, 5 days a week, together. Some shows will have a prima donna or 4, but we never did.

Oh, come on. You expect me to believe that?

Do you need a time out, mister? What did I just say?

Can I see you at any of those conventions?

You sure can. I am doing a few conventions every year, mostly on the West Coast, so I don't have to travel too far from home. You should check the conventions page (
http://www.wilwheaton.net/cons.php
) to find out if I'm coming to a hotel conference center near you any time soon!

What do you think of Enterprise?

I loved it when it started. However, I don't like the way it's gone at all, and I don't watch it any more.

Hey, I watched Weakest Link. What was that all about?

Heh. Well, see,
Weakest Link
is all about making people look bad and making Anne Robinson look good. I thought that I'd have fun with her by being even ruder and more offensive than she is. I thought the best way to accomplish this would be to play a condescending A-hole.

Mission. Accomplished.
>:-)

So you aren't really an asshole?

Well, that depends on who you ask.

WTF is up with you and Roxanne Dawson?

Well, that was all a joke, too. I guess the producers decided to really make her look bad with the interview they chose. She is a really cool person, and everything between us is fine. But thanks for asking.

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The interview was for the website Ain't It Cool News and can be found here:
http://www.aint-it-cool-news.com/display.cgi?id=6627

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This FAQ is taken directly from WIL WHEATON dot NET.

STAND BY ME

Were the leeches real?

They sure were. Can you imagine the shit Rob Reiner got for putting REAL LEECHES on 12-year-olds? I mean, I still have a scar from that scene, if you get my drift. He tried to run us over with the train and make sleeping bags out of our skin, too. Oh, and everything I wrote between the words "They" and "too" is a lie. Please replace that with, "No, you dumb shit. Do you actually think they'd put real leeches on a bunch of kids? Why don't you just admit that you're a sick fuck who wants to hear me talk about my junk?" Thank you.

Was the train real?

Strangely enough, the train was fake. We never once, in the entire production, used a real train. Something about unions. Oh, and for the sake of this answer, please replace the word "fake" with "real and scary." You can pretend the line about unions doesn't exist, unless it made you laugh. If it made you laugh, I'd like you to send me a dollar. Comedy isn't cheap, you know.

Were you scared?

Even stranger than the fake trains (which were all made from cardboard and tin foil placed over a wooden chassis pushed by twelve midgets) was my abject fear of them. Particularly when we shot the running-across-the-trestle sequence. The stunt coordinator, Rick Barker, likes to tell this really funny story about how he put Jerry and me on the tracks and had the train about 50 feet behind us, traveling at something like 4 miles per hour. We were running towards a 500-mm lens, so it would look like the (fake) train was right up our asses. Well, when you're 12, and you're standing on a train track, and there is a train behind you, I don't care how slow it's going—if it's moving at all, it is scary as shit. So Rick has us on the tracks, making us wait to run. In the dailies, you can see Jerry and me, with tears running down our faces, turning off camera, saying "Can we go yet? Can we go yet?"

What a couple of wimps we were. Oh, and my stunt double for that sequence was a woman, because I was so skinny and whatnot. The rest of the cast (bastards) had a field day with that one.

How was it working with Rob Reiner?

It was awesome. I always say that Rob deserves all the credit for
Stand By Me
being the wonderful movie that it was. He really knew how to communicate with 4 12-year-olds (I have a hard enough time communicating with my *own* 12-year-old) and had the good sense to cast kids who were more or less exactly like their characters.

And here is something about Rob: he always made me feel like I deserved to be on that set. He never made me feel like I was a snot-faced kid (which I was), and he always treated me like an equal. I wish more directors were like Rob, and less like complete A-holes.

How was it working with River Phoenix?

River was really, really cool. At the time, I looked up to him because he was such a cool guy.

He was a wonderful actor and a wonderful person, and it really fucking sucks that nobody tried to stop him from becoming a complete junkie.

When I see the bullshit hacks who are passing for young, hot actors these days, I really miss River. Because he was a REAL actor, not a prepackaged bunch of hype and marketing.

How was it working with Corey Feldman?

Corey was a huge pain in the ass, but I don't think that was entirely his fault. Corey was a product of his environment. His parents were really into that whole "My kid is famous" thing When we shot
Stand By Me
, they didn't even stay in Oregon with him; they hired a woman that he didn't even know to be his guardian.

I think Corey was an angry kid who was in a lot of emotional pain. Rob Reiner confirmed that for me when I asked him, "Why did you hire Corey? He's such a pain in the ass!" Rob said, "Corey was the only actor we saw who had enough anger bottled up inside of him to play this role."

During that summer in Oregon, Corey (and River) began their love affair with the drugs. River's dead now, and Corey has been sober for something like 10 years. I understand that he's doing everything he can to get his career back on track.

Do you stay in touch with any of the other actors?

Not really. River is dead, Jerry is like a multimillionaire movie star, so we live in different worlds, and Corey is . . . well . . . Corey.

Why isn't there a commentary from you, Wil Wheaton, on the DVD?

Because Columbia/TriStar was afraid that I, Wil Wheaton, would bring the noise and testify! Because The Man couldn't stand to have me, Wil Wheaton, stand up and let the word ring out from the DVD box!

OTHER WORK

The Curse: what were you thinking?

Well, at the time, I was just a young'un and some really evil producers from a scary foreign country came to me and said, "We have this movie for you to be in, and we want to give you lots of money to be in it." And I didn't have the best advisors at the time, and nobody told me that this big pile of shit would be around forever. Consider it a very expensive lesson. At least I didn't get a tattoo.