July (The Year of The Change Book 1) (9 page)

"I'm sorry I didn't get your letters."

"It's not your fault."

"Oh I know, but I would’ve loved to have gotten them. I really enjoyed your visit. We had a lot of fun."

"Yeah, it was fun." He stroked my arm.

I shivered with the goose bumps left behind as his touch trailed along my skin. Must keep him talking. "I think you had the most fun teasing Mark."

He threw his head back and laughed. "I've always known how to push Mark's buttons."

"That's putting it mildly." I, too, laughed as the memory swirled around us.

His merriment quieted and he took my hand. "I've thought of you a lot."

My stomach flipped as my heart sped up. I
could
have Kevin. All I had to do was reach out and take him. I wanted him, I needed him. I could feel The Change slipping from my grasp as I leaned toward him.

Distinctly, I heard my grandmother's voice loud and clear.
Sylvia, The Change is important! Don't disappoint me.
Gram would be devastated if I failed.

No! I wanted Kevin! I wasn't asking for all that much was I?

I heard Gram again. "
I love you, Sylvia
."

What was I doing? I closed my eyes and sighed. I had to hitch up my resolve and put my eyes back on my goal and
off
of Kevin. My grandmother fights dirty. When I opened my eyes I flung the car door wide.

“Where are you going?” He reached.

I was out before he could catch me and tried to sound nonchalant. “I think a walk would be nice.” Kevin's arms would’ve been better.

I closed the door and headed for the house. The Change had better be worth what I’d given up at that moment. I had my doubts.

“Wait, Sylvia. Get back in and I’ll drive you home.” He didn’t sound mad. He sounded almost panicked.

Not looking back I kept walking. “That’s okay, I like to walk.” I didn’t want to see how much I hurt him.

He started his car and followed me. “Come on, Sylvia, just get in … Please don’t be mad at me.” His voice wrenched my heart and I wanted to climb back into his car -- all the way into his arms. I had to be stronger.

I looked over my shoulder as I walked. “I’m not mad at you.” How could I be mad at Kevin? He was nice and it wasn’t his fault The Change made him friendlier than he should be … as friendly as I wished I could be.

He kept pace with me as I walked. “I’m sorry I upset you.” He truly was penitent, and it wasn't even his fault. I was the one who should apologize.

I turned and walked backwards smiling at him. “I’m not upset, but this whole drive thing was a mistake.” I turned to walk forward. “My father is going to be very upset. The sooner I get back, the better it will be.” That was an understatement. Dad would be mad and Sue would think it was my fault.

“I didn’t think this would upset your dad so much, it was just a ride. I really wanted you to meet Jeff.”

He had such gentle eyes … innocent.

I was in so much trouble. “I know, but my dad isn’t going to understand.” Yet, another understatement.

He frowned “Why?” He truly didn’t comprehend my concern.

“Think about it. How would you feel if your teenage daughter disappeared, with a boy?”

He thought a moment. “If it were someone like me I wouldn’t worry.” He grinned which made my knees go weak. He meant every word of it. “Although, I do have some friends I wouldn’t trust to be alone with you.” Yes, Kevin did seem trustworthy. “Please get in, I promise I'll get you the rest of the way safely.”

I smiled at him as I kept walking. I didn’t want to hurt him, but at this point I didn’t trust
me
. I was too weak.

We reached the dark driveway. People, could just be seen, sitting in lawn chairs near the little pond with blue lights shining on its surface. I knew my dad was one of those people without being able to see to confirm it. I could almost feel the tension that rolled off him.

“It would be best if you took a few minutes to park your car.” I looked earnestly into his eyes, hoping he would listen to me. The sensation of falling into their depths snapped me back to the here and now. I closed mine to clear my head. I looked back at the pond.

He followed my line of sight. His shoulders slumped and he edged his car a little faster. I peeled off and headed across the lawn to join the group. The sooner I could calm my dad, the better it would be for Kevin. As I reached them, Dad stood up. I went to him and he put his arm around me.

His voice was a forced calm. “How was your ride?”

I put a smile on my face hoping he wasn’t mad at me. “It was very nice. Kevin is a very good driver and I met his friend Jeff. He was very nice, too.” Too many
verys
, he had to know I was sugar coating this.

There wasn’t enough light from the pond for me to tell how mad he was.

"Kevin was a perfect gentleman." I hoped that short sentence would communicate to my father that nothing happened, that Kevin wasn't the one out of control.

Barbara had a worried expression on her face. “Why were you walking?”

The car engine cut off and the door opened and close. Kevin’s steps were loud on the gravel as he hurried over to us.

“I felt like stretching my legs. I won’t get that chance the rest of this week. Poor Kevin was stuck doing a turtle’s pace in his beautiful car. Dad, you really should see it. He and his grandfather restored it.” I hoped my dad's love of cars would distract his anger.

Kevin came to a stop next to me. “Actually, Mr. Kennin, I pulled to the side of the road so we could talk, but Sylvia didn’t think that was right. I didn’t mean anything inappropriate by it, honest.” Kevin was honest and no coward as he faced my frowning father.

Dad reluctantly relaxed and forced a smile across his face, obviously relieved. “Well, of course you didn’t, Kevin.” Dad sat down and motioned for me to sit next to him on the grass. “So you have a new car?” The distraction worked after all.

Kevin straightened up with a smile. “Yes, sir. It’s a ’57 Thunderbird.” He sat on the grass in front of my father at ease with the new conversation. Of course having a clear conscience usually does that for a person. My conscious was a little cloudy.

The whole group relaxed into friendly conversations. Kevin was animated about his car and what he had to do to earn the money for it and still meet his goals for his college fund. He was very goal oriented and I was impressed at how hard he worked. Most guys I knew expected their parents to give them their education and a car.

I was lucky. I had a college fund that my grandparents saved for me. I hadn’t known about it until after Gram died. Dad told me it was my inheritance. I would rather have had my grandparents.

An evil little grin spread across Mark’s face as he came over and sat beside me. “You should have Kevin let you drive his car, it rides nice.”

Kevin gave Mark a dirty look. My guess was Kevin didn’t let anyone drive his baby.

I smiled at Mark. “I can’t drive Kevin’s car. I don’t have a license.”

His look was incredulously. “You don’t have your license?”

All the Becks were dumbfounded that I hadn’t insisted on it on my birthday. Sue and Dad looked at each other, not saying a word.

Clearing my throat I hoped I didn’t sound too pathetic. “This year has been a little hectic and I haven’t taken the time.”

Between The Change, Gram’s death and the move, that wasn't a lie. Plus, the last time I drove it was with a gun to my head. That alone, still had me rattled. Plus, I wasn’t going anywhere alone, since I needed protecting, so there really wasn’t a need. After The Change I was going to make sure I got my license right away. I wanted the freedom. Besides, I would need it to escape Alaska as soon as I graduated. Of course, it would probably take me a long time to earn enough money before I could buy a car that would be dependable enough to run on a regular basis. Hopefully, Alaska would have an airport. A flight back to civilization after I graduated would make a great gift.

Kevin moved closer and eyed Mark, who sat next to me. I could feel the air become stagnant as the boys and the twins moved in on and blocked the air flow.

Mark leaned into me. “You know how to drive, though, don’t you?”

Having to admit my only experience was a few lessons in the school parking lot, from Donny and a night run full of fear was even more embarrassing. “Actually, I don’t. I haven’t taken Driver’s Ed yet.” My grades had been bad and I wasn’t allowed to take the class because I had to make up a required class instead. I was tense as I waited for Sue to tell everyone how she couldn’t get me to take school seriously and how bad my grades were. When she looked like she was biting her tongue, I relaxed. She hadn’t been as caustic or even vocal since Dad laid down the law last January.

Mark put his arm around me and I stiffened. Dad looked ready to intercede.

“I could take you out in the pasture and teach you. We have an old truck that you couldn’t hurt even if you tried.”

Mark’s arm was warm and strong.

Kevin huffed. “Yeah, you would know, Mark.” There must’ve been a good story behind that comment.

Mark glared at his big brother. “Shut up, Kevin.”

“Boys, we have guests.” Their mother shot them both frowns and shook her head at her second son. He removed his arm.

Kevin grinned at Mark as he turned to me. “Mark’s too young to teach you, but I’d be glad to take you out for a lesson. I have a lot more experience.”

His voice saturated me as his words soaked in and I shivered. I was sure he had a lot more experience in a lot of things. Too bad this wasn’t my year for any of it.

Sigh. “I wish I could, but we’re leaving fairly early in the morning.”

Lessons from Kevin, something else I had to give up.

Dad patted me on the shoulder. He knew I really wanted to go have fun with the guys.

He cleared his throat. “I have more experience than both of you. I’ll be the one who teaches Sylvia how to drive.”

The boys looked disappointed.

I wished that it were true and Dad would take me out … just the two of us. Dad was always busy and I knew I would learn in Drivers Ed. It did make for a good excuse, though, and the guys couldn’t argue with his rights as the father.

The full moon was high and only a few wispy clouds skittered across its jolly, old face. It was getting late and Tam rubbed her eyes. Try as I might, I couldn’t stifle my echoing yawn. It was contagious and before long we were all yawning. I usually didn’t like to go to bed early. On the other hand the idea dawned that this could be my excuse to get away from the boys. Not that I didn’t like being with them … the problem was I liked being with them way too much.

Bedtime was declared and all the kids grumbled, except me.

My nerves were on edge and needed time away from the boys. They’d moved in, too close. Even Randy insisted on sitting knee to knee. All six of us kids were bunched so close there wasn’t enough oxygen for a cricket. Or maybe it just felt that way because I kept forgetting to breathe every time Kevin stared into my eyes. I couldn’t see the details of his eyes, but it was like electricity discharged whenever our eyes met. If this were next year, I would’ve loved every minute and would have a great time with all the attention. I could’ve encouraged more. That was only a daydream, though. When The Change was over, the boys wouldn’t be clamoring for my attention and I couldn’t even enjoy it while I had the chance.

The guys followed Tam and me all the way to Kevin’s room. I stood at the door as they kept talking, unwilling to let me go.

Kevin explained where everything was. “So if you needed anything -- like a blanket – you now know where it is. Of course, if you can’t find something, I’d be glad to come find it for you.” He leaned against the door frame and grinned down at me. My heart fluttered as I tried to think of something he could help me find. My head was too muddled and I couldn’t come up with anything. Buggers!

"We should say goodnight now, we have to be up early." I couldn’t hide my reluctance.

The boys objected to saying goodnight, to my delight.

You would think I would be used to this by now. I still hadn’t figured out a nice way to get rid of boys that couldn’t take a hint. Not that I was doing any major hinting, mind you. I was glad they ignored my trivial attempts to get rid of them. It pleased me that Kevin stuck around, anyway. I wished the brooding Mark would leave because he was putting a damper on our little group with his snide remarks and glowering. I hadn’t seen him not frown since Kevin showed up.

Tam didn’t pay attention to Mark, as she was right there enjoying any little bit of attention Randy dropped her way.

All too soon, and not quickly enough - depending on how you looked at it - Sue and Dad came to check on us. Tim was with them, frowning. This was his chance to be with the guys and the guys wanted to be with his dopey sisters. I looked at him and shrugged, he shrugged back. He was almost as tired of this as I was.

"Okay, guys." Dad motioned with his hands. "Time to head to the bunkhouse."

Tim looked confused. "Bunkhouse? I thought we were sleeping in the basement?"

Dad lifted one eyebrow at Tim. "I meant basement."

"Ah shucks, I would rather sleep in a real bunkhouse."

Dad herded the guys down the hall.

Kevin spoke over Dad's shoulder. "Goodnight, Sylvia. If you need anything just ask."

"Goodnight, Sylv." Mark glowered at Kevin as Dad pushed them down the hall.

Randy didn't need pushing and waved shyly as he followed with Tim.

Finally, the day was over.

Sue stepped in and closed the door. My stomach growled. I headed for the food basket and dug in. She helped Tam find her pajamas and tooth brush. I liked watching them together. I used to imagine my mother doing the same for me. I’m not a little girl anymore and understand that she didn’t love me enough to stick around and be a part of my life.

Opening my suitcase, I swallowed a granola bar. It was a little tough getting it past the lump in my throat. Pulling out my nightgown I changed in the corner.

Barbara knocked on the door and Sue let her in.

“You have the run of the upstairs. The boys have been banished to the basement for the duration of the night, with threat of their lives if they come up.”

With the good news Tam and I trotted off to the bathroom to wash our faces and brush our teeth. How she managed to finish up without falling over, as dead on her feet as she was, remained beyond me. All the while my little sister mumbled nonstop about Randy. She was so cute when she had a crush. If she hadn’t been so tired, I would’ve teased her about it. Tomorrow I would torment her, when she was fully awake, and a bigger row can be gotten out of her.

When we returned, Sue and Barbara were laughing about something. They wouldn’t tell us what the joke was. It must’ve been some adult thing they thought we were too young to hear. It’s very frustrating when adults do that. Tam may have been too young, but I certainly wasn’t.

The two women got along well. Of course, it would’ve been hard
not
to get along with Kevin’s mom. She was bubbly and vivacious. You couldn’t stop being cheerful around her. I appreciated how happy Sue looked. If we could take Barbara with us, Sue might be in a good mood all the time. Too bad there wasn’t some way to bottle it. I would’ve bought gallons of it.

Tam and I curled up on the end of the bed and spent the next hour talking and giggling with the older women, something I’d never done with Sue. It was like having a slumber party, only with a couple of adults. Even so, it was fun.

I tried to be discreet as I continued to eat fruit and granola bars. Barbara never seemed to notice. Sue did, though. She probably was frustrated because she couldn’t say anything in front of the other woman. My stomach appreciated a reprieve from Sue’s chiding that always stopped me from giving it whatever it wanted.

When Tam went into full out battle mode with her eyelids, Sue and Barbara decided it was time to leave so we could go to sleep. Tam objected, but was out before her mother had her tucked in and kissed goodnight.

Sue turned to me and whispered. “Don’t forget to lock the door.” She was almost out the door when she turned. “Goodnight.” She tossed the word at me and closed the door before I could respond.

“Goodnight, Sue.” My response hit the door and slid to the floor, kind of like our relationship.

The lock turned with a click. For good measure, I took the chair from the desk and jammed it under the door knob. I’d seen it done in the movies and figured it couldn’t hurt. If nothing else, it would make noise if it fell.