Jimmy's Game (Ruthless) (60 page)

The priest was waiting at the church when they pulled up. The first thing Jimmy said was, “Please Thomas, tell me where she is.” He was disappointed when Thomas replied, “I’m sorry Jimmy I don’t know. All she said was she was going down to the south coast in the hope she could find work there.” Monica interrupted and said, “What else did she say?” “I will not be able to discuss anything that was said in confession, only what she said outside to me as her friend.” “Please Thomas try and remember anything that might help us.” “She was very upset, she talked about becoming a nun and I think she was serious. There isn’t much to tell you, except she was hoping to catch a train when she left, she didn’t want to be in London on her own at night.” “Well at least we know she left
London.” They all thanked him for his help. Then just as they began to walk away, Thomas called to them and said; “I’ve just remembered, she did mention Brighton.”

Suddenly their fortunes changed; at least now they had somewhere to look, although it would be like looking for a needle in a hay stack, it was a place to start.

Back in the car Monica thought about it logically then said, “Working on the times Thomas gave us. Maria would have arrived in Brighton quite late last night; her first priority would have been to find somewhere to stay. Most likely somewhere near to the station. Chances are she’s staying at a guest house near there.” Jimmy grabbed her head and kissed her as he said, “Monica you’re a fucking genius!” Mickey grinned and added, “Not only a genius; but a great detective!”

They drove to Brighton station. Parking the car they continued on foot, trying guest house after guest house but to no avail. Jimmy was beginning to lose heart, when Monica returned from a house and said, “We may have a result. One of the owners from a B and B said a young woman checked in last night, her description was sketchy, but she did remember the girl only had one suit case and that she was carrying a bible. She paid for three nights in advance; but she left this morning straight after breakfast, I’m confident it was Maria.” “Me too,” echoed Jimmy.

For the next three hours they walked up and down the sea front looking in every restaurant and café to see if she was asking for work. It was only when Monica said, “I must have a rest and something to eat,” that something happened by chance.

They sat outside a small café on the pier which over looked the beach; the weather was over cast; so there were just a
handful of people on the beach. Mickey looked along the beach and to his amazement spotted Maria sitting on her own, reading the bible that Father Thomas had given her. Looking at the others he said, “Unless my eyes deceive me, I think that’s her sitting on the beach.” Jimmy felt overwhelmed as he looked to where Mickey was pointing and Monica said “It’s her.”

On the verge of tears Jimmy said, “Wait here while I go and speak to her.” “Just don’t push her Jimmy,” said Mickey as his friend stood up to leave.

Maria was totally unaware that they were nearby; she hadn’t even noticed Jimmy walking along the beach, until he startled her when he sat down beside her. Unable to suppress his emotions, he cried as he looked at her. Noticing how calm she appeared he said, “Babe I’m so sorry.” Maria smiled as he tried to tell her how he felt, but through his crying she found him difficult to understand. Calmly she said, “Jimmy what are you doing here?” Gathering his senses; he replied, “I’ve come to take you home babe.” Looking lovingly at him she squeezed his hand and said, “I’m not coming back Jimmy.” At that moment she expected him to lose his temper, surprisingly he didn’t, instead he cried and said, “Please babe I’m begging you, come home.” With her heart breaking for him, she was fighting back her own tears as she replied, “Please don’t cry. It will be better for everyone if we stay apart.” “Not for me it won’t, I love you so much, I’ll die without you. Please come home babe, I’ll do anything you ask, Maria please say you’ll forgive me.” Gently she touched his face and replied, “I’ve already forgiven you.” With a confused look on his face he said, “Then why won’t you give me another chance? I’ll never give up on us; you’re the only woman I want. I love you babe.” “I love you too Jimmy, but I’m staying here. You wouldn’t understand even if I tried to explain and I don’t want a scene on the beach. Just go home Jimmy.” “Babe I promise I won’t do anything to upset you, tell me why Maria, I don’t understand we love each other, so why won’t you come home?” In the hope of stopping his constant pleading, she changed the topic and said, “How did you find me?” Jimmy pointed to the café; she could see their friends waving at them. “It was Monica who found you. Why did you come to Brighton?” Smiling she replied, “With the exception of the holiday Mickey gave me for my birthday, it was the only place I’d ever been to.” “Please babe, please give me another chance, or at least tell me why you can’t” He broke down. Looking sad she replied, “Last night Jimmy was the first time I can ever remember being able to lie down and not have anyone make any demands on me. I don’t expect you to understand, but for me it was wonderful.” Looking at her, for the first time since they had met he truly realised how hard her life had been. All he wanted to do was put his arms around her and tell her that everything would be alright. How could he have said and done such terrible things to this beautiful, loving young woman. Unable to hold back his tears he broke down again. Trying to comfort him she gently placed her hand on his shoulder and calmly said, “There’s something else Jimmy, if the church will have me I’m going to join a convent.” “No Maria.” “It’s what I want and look at it another way, you’ll never have to worry about me meeting another man.” Her words made him feel sick to the pit of his stomach; he knew that he had driven her to such despair that she was going to hide herself away from society.

Unable to accept what she’d said he squeezed her hand and replied, “Please babe, I’m begging you, please come home, don’t end what we have, surely its worth fighting for?” No longer able to hold back her own tears she began to cry as she replied, “I think you should leave now, go back to London, please Jimmy, just leave me alone.” “I’ll never leave you; I’ll die if that’s what it takes for you to believe how much I love you.” He could tell she was beginning to weaken as he added, “I swear babe more than anything I wanted to marry you next Saturday and make lots of babies with you.” Watching the tears begin to trickle down her face, he started crying as he added, “You’re the only person who really knows me and I can’t live without you, I’d rather be dead.” Just like him tears were flowing down her cheeks, she knew how desperate he felt. Summoning all her courage she said, “Stop it Jimmy, I can’t listen to you anymore, I’ve got things to do, you should go and join the others.” “I want to stay here with you. Anyway what could you possibly have to do?” “I’ve got to go back to a restaurant, I’m meeting the manager about a job and I don’t want to be late.”

“You don’t need to work in that restaurant; you’ve got your own.” Smiling she replied, “It’s not mine Jimmy, it was never really mine, it’s yours just like everything else.” Even though he knew what she had just said was true, he replied, “You’re wrong Maria’s is yours.” “It doesn’t matter anyway, you can sell Maria‘s restaurant if you want to, I certainly won’t need it when I become a nun.”  Lowering his head into his hands he cried and said, “Please babe, tell me what I can do to make you come back with me?” Placing her arm around him she replied, “You don’t really need me Jimmy, there are lots of young girls who want you.” “I don’t want anyone else, only you babe.” “Please stop it Jimmy, it’s over. I’ll always have love in my heart for you and I’ll always be grateful to you, but I can’t live that life anymore.” “Please babe, I promise you if you give me just one last chance I’ll prove to you how wonderful your life can be.” Waiting for her to reply he just watched as she sat there with tears streaming down her face. Wiping her face with his hand, he said, “Why are you crying?” When she didn’t answer him but simply shook her head, he asked her again. Still she sat silently. Wanting an answer he said, “Considering you’ve been so adamant about not coming back, I’m surprised you’re so upset.” A few moments passed then with her beautiful eyes all red and puffy she looked lovingly and said, “I can’t talk about it Jimmy, anyway you wouldn’t understand.” “Try me.” Trying to hold back her tears she said, “Ok, for most of my life I have been abused in one way or another. I’ve been beaten, starved, at times denied all my human rights, raped and treated like an animal and I just can’t take anymore. I don’t expect you to understand but I just want peace now, that’s why I want to become a nun.” Putting his arm around her he replied, “I know exactly what you mean babe. I’ve been there; my father did all those things to me.” Raising her head she looked at him with disbelief.

Jimmy knew he’d hit a nerve, because for the first time since meeting her on the beach she really appeared to be listening to him. Having her attention he continued “If you don’t believe me ask Mickey, that’s why Den ordered the hit on my father.
They’re the only people who know, but now you do.” Patiently he waited for her to say something, hoping against all hope that she would give him another chance. His heart was racing as they sat there looking at one another. Barely a few seconds had passed when she put her arms around him. Resting his head on her chest as she held him tight in her arms, he sobbed like a baby. It was as though years of pent up anger were flooding out of him. Several minutes went by; he could barely catch his breath.

Gently kissing the top of his head she held him and reassuringly said, “Everything will be fine Jimmy, just let it go.” Looking up at her through blood shot eyes he said, “Nothing will ever be right babe if we’re not together.” Hesitating before answering him, she said, “I can’t make any promises, but I’ll go back to London with you today.” A feeling of total relief surged through him, he was trembling but he couldn’t stop hugging and kissing her.

Maria was well aware that he would see it as everything going back to how it was, so she repeated to him, “Like I said Jimmy, I’m not promising anything, we’ll need to talk a lot more before I commit to anything.” Looking concerned he replied, “I take it you’re referring to the wedding?” She nodded. Not wanting to push the subject; because he knew the time wasn’t right, he said, “I understand, I just want you home babe.” Taking a tissue from her bag, she passed it to him to wipe his face. As he looked at her he noticed the bruises on her face as she swept her hair back. Gently he touched her face and said, “I promise as God is my witness, I’ll never lay a hand on you again.” Kissing him gently on the lips she said, “Come on Jimmy let’s go home.” Despite what he’d said she knew their problems were far from over.

Mickey drove back to London.  Jimmy slept most of the journey with his head resting on her shoulder as they travelled in the back. They were all very quiet. It wasn’t until they pulled up outside the apartment that he woke up.

Monica kissed her and said, “I’ll phone you sweetheart.” Mickey kissed her and said, “Thank God we found you babe, I couldn’t have taken another night like last night.” Feeling humble that they had been brought into her problems she replied, “I’m so sorry for all the trouble I’ve cause you both.” “Don’t be daft babe, we were worried about you.” Looking at her Mickey asked himself how anyone, especially his best friend could treat her so badly. Monica had been right when she’d said she was a lovely person.

Even on the drive back to his place with Monica after dropping the others off, he thought about Maria. She never deserved any of the terrible things that she had endured, she was everything that was good and kind and loving. Then for a brief moment he wished they hadn’t found her, simply because she would have found peace by becoming a nun and if anyone deserved it, she did.

Inside the apartment Maria said to Jimmy, “I’ll make you something to eat.” “I’m not hungry babe. I just feel tired; will you lay down with me? I promise I won’t want sex, I just want to lay with you and hold you.” Smiling she held out her hand. They walked toward the bedroom.

Lying on the bed with her in his arms, her head resting on his chest he said, “Were you serious about becoming a nun?” “Yes, I truly believe it’s my calling, I want to help save people.” Stroking her hair he replied, “You’re already doing that, you’ve saved me. I know I have no right to ask, but do you think you might still marry me on Saturday?” When she didn’t answer, he asked her again. Knowing his temper was still just under the surface, she didn’t want to say anything that might anger him. So in a soft voice she replied, “Up until yesterday Jimmy, I wanted to marry you more than anything, but now it feels different. I had often questioned why God had allowed all those terrible things to happen to me, I would pray and pray for an answer, because I never understood why. Then when I left yesterday, I watched the people at the train station, the down and outs here and in Brighton. It was then I realised had I not have suffered myself how could I possibly connect with those people. Perhaps God had intended all along for me to be a nun, that’s why everything’s happened the way it has.” Taking in what she’d said calmly he replied, “What if God only intended for you to save me?” “I can’t answer that Jimmy, maybe you should ask Father Thomas.”

Pulling her closer to him he snuggled his head onto her breasts and in a desperate voice said, “Please don’t leave me babe, I’m a better person when you’re here. Hopefully you love me enough to think I’m worth saving. I know I don’t deserve another chance, especially after all the terrible things I’ve done, but I love you babe.” This time she answered immediately and replied, “I love you and I know you’re a good person, I only doubt myself.” Confused by what she’d just said he lifted his head and stared at her as he said, “What do you mean, doubt yourself, you’re an angel babe.” Lovingly she stroked the side of his face and said, “It’s not important.” “It’s important to me, come on tell me.”  “Ok, but I expect you’ll laugh.” “I won’t.” “For the first time in my life I experienced jealousy, it was when Della kissed you. I felt terrible that for that instant I loathed her.” “Believe me babe; you’ve got nothing to be jealous of. If it makes you feel any better, if it had been a bloke who had done that to you; I would have ripped his fucking head off!” Despite his joke she looked at him and said, “As this seems to be a time for home truths Jimmy, I want you to know I resent your mistrust of me. You of all people should know I would never be interested in anyone else.” Trying to look convincing, he replied, “I do trust you babe.” “If that were true Jimmy why have you become so much worse in the last couple of months?” From the moment he answered her, she knew he was keeping something back because he couldn’t look at her when he replied, “More than anything in my life, I want to marry you. Stupidly I thought by making you fear me, you would be too afraid to even look at another man. Truth is babe; I’m terrified of losing you, I see every man as a threat.” Knowing there was more to it she said, “So has that changed now?” Now lifting his head to look at her again, he replied, “I promise I’ll try not to think like that anymore, even if you call off the wedding, I’ll wait for as long as you need too, just as long as we’re together.” “Where did you go last night when you left the apartment Jimmy?” “Why, is it important?” “Not really, I’m just curious.” “I went to the cemetery to talk to my mum. I sat there in the darkness and asked her to ask God to help me make things right with you, although I didn’t know you’d left me then.” Holding him closer she said, “Obviously God listened.”