Italian Marriage: In Name Only (15 page)

But she was weak…. She wanted him…she loved him.

The words shook her. But they were no real shock. Deep down she’d always known how she felt, known it as soon as she first saw him. It was what had terrified her so much…

‘I need you, Antonio…’ she whispered. ‘I need you, now!’

He pulled her further down in the bed, positioning her exactly as he wanted her, stroking her, kissing her, a feeling of triumphant elation hitting him as he realized she was his, to do as he wanted with.

When she woke up, Antonio was still asleep beside her. And she lay watching him as dawn crept into the room. Their night together had been the most wonderful night she had ever experienced and she didn’t regret it. Would never regret it—no matter what happened now, she told herself vehemently. Because he had shown her how truly amazing lovemaking could be. He’d been passionate and caring, had taken control when it most mattered, and had made sure he’d protected her from pregnancy by wearing something. The whole experience had been…perfect.

Well, it would have been perfect if he had uttered one little word of love. But she couldn’t expect that; she knew the score, knew that last night was about passion, not love and, when the time came, Antonio would let her go. She wasn’t totally naive!

But she wasn’t going to think about that now, she told herself hurriedly. She was just going to enjoy what time they had together.

For a few moments she allowed her gaze to roam over him. He was so handsome, she thought. His features were
aristocratic, yet rugged. She noticed the dark stubble on his jaw line, the fine grain of his skin, the thick dark lashes, the sensual curve of his lips…lips that had given her so much pleasure.

Maybe it was best not to think about that now, she told herself with a smile, because if she did she’d want him all over again, and in a few moments she’d have to get up and see to Nathan.

Reluctantly she rolled over and reached for her dressing gown.

‘Where are you going?’ he murmured sleepily.

‘Nathan will be waking up around now and he’ll want his breakfast.’ She looked back at him shyly and felt herself blushing as his gaze moved boldly over her naked body.

‘OK…I guess that I’ll allow you to go in that case.’ He smiled sleepily as he watched her through hooded eyes. ‘But be warned, I’ll want you back again a little later—my appetite will take a lot more satisfying.’

He laughed as she blushed even more. Then as she made to put her dressing gown on he put an arm around her waist and pulled her back in against him. ‘You forgot something…’

‘Have I?’ She looked around at him, her heart pounding as if she had been running in several long races. ‘What have I forgotten?’

‘This.’ He leaned closer and kissed her, a long lingering seductive kiss that melted her completely. ‘My morning kiss,’ he told her, releasing her. ‘I’d like another around midmorning, and another couple this afternoon.’

‘That could be arranged,’ she said, smiling.

‘Good, now go and see to Nathan.’ He leaned back against the pillows. ‘Oh, and look on the menu outside and phone downstairs and order breakfast.’

‘What would you like?’

‘Anything, I’m ravenous!’

As she met the gleam in his dark eyes she laughed breathlessly. She was quite hungry herself.

When she left the room, Antonio lay where he was for a moment, then threw the covers back and went for a shower.

No point analysing what had happened, he told himself briskly. They’d had sex and it had been very enjoyable.

A little later, showered and changed, Antonio went through into the apartment.

It was a bright sunny morning and Victoria was sitting outside on the terrace. She was feeding Nathan, who was sitting beside her in a high chair.

They made an interesting picture and for a moment he allowed himself to watch her unobserved. She looked radiantly lovely, her dark hair spilling down over the blue of her gown, her eyes focused on her son as she held the spoon out to him.

Nathan was kicking his feet impatiently and trying to take the spoon away from her.

‘No, Nathan, eat your porridge for Mummy like a good boy.’

The child shook his head and kept his mouth tightly closed and she laughed. ‘Come on, honey…Look, it’s like the helicopter we were in yesterday. Around and around it goes and…open wide…’ She swooped around with the spoon and tried to get him to take it but he steadfastly refused.

‘Looks like you are fighting a losing battle,’ Antonio observed, and she turned around in surprise.

‘I didn’t realize you were there.’

‘I was enjoying the helicopter show. But I think you’ll have to come up with a different plan.’ He sat down at the table and reached for the coffee pot.

She glanced over at him distractedly. He looked very stylish in a dark suit and a white shirt that was open at the neck. Had this handsome Italian really made love to her, over and over again as he’d told her how beautiful she was? The memories made her go weak inside. It didn’t feel real—it felt like some kind of dream.

‘Come on, Nathan, eat some breakfast for Mummy…’ She tried to concentrate.

‘Here, let me.’ Antonio leaned across and took the spoon. ‘Nathan, eat some breakfast like a good boy…and later we will take you to the funfair.’

Her son was looking at him with wide eyes.

‘You can drive a train or a little car all by yourself…if you’re good.’

‘That’s bribery!’ Victoria said with a shake of her head.

‘Maybe, but it works.’ He laughed as the child opened his mouth and took the food. ‘Good boy.’ He smiled over at Victoria. ‘Some people have just got what it takes.’

‘Have I told you that you’re very conceited,’ she asked playfully.

‘Yes, a few times. You also told me last night that you knew why I was very conceited.’ His eyes were warm and teasing and she blushed.

‘Why don’t you run along and get dressed and I’ll take over here,’ he said gently.

‘Are you sure?’ She frowned. ‘Sarah has gone out. She wanted to do some shopping.’

‘Yes, I’ve given her the day off. So run along. The sooner you get ready, the sooner we can go out.’

‘Where are we going?’

He shook his head. ‘I just told you—we’re going to the funfair.’

‘Oh! I thought that you were just…pretending.’

He raised one eyebrow. ‘I rarely say things I don’t mean, so off you go.’

She nodded and slowly got up from the table. ‘So…don’t you have to go to work today?’

He shook his head. ‘No, it’s my day off.’

‘Oh.’

‘If you say
oh
just one more time, I’m going to throw some of this porridge at you.’

‘Please don’t. That’s Nathan’s job.’ With a grin she stood and kissed her son on the forehead. ‘Be a good boy…I won’t be long.’

She flicked a glance back before she went into the bedroom. It felt unreal watching Antonio feeding Nathan. He was a high-flying ruthless businessman, yet right now he seemed quite engrossed in the task of cajoling Nathan into eating his breakfast!

An onlooker might have thought that he was Nathan’s father, she reflected. Immediately as the thought entered her head she dismissed it. He wasn’t Nathan’s father—and thoughts like that were far too dangerously provocative.

Antonio was a free spirit, and she had to remember that.

V
ICTORIA
was in the garden with Nathan. The two of them had enjoyed lunch under the dappled shade of a lemon tree. And now Nathan was splashing in the little blow-up paddling pool that Antonio had bought for him.

He was having a great time, kicking away at the water, sending it whooshing out onto the grass and soaking himself in the process. He laughed up at Victoria.

‘Yes, you are having great fun,’ she said with a smile. ‘You like that pool, don’t you? Antonio knew what he was doing when he bought that for you.’

Nathan looked around as if Antonio was going to suddenly materialize. ‘No, he’s still at work, honey,’ she murmured.

But he would be home soon, she told herself silently, and a little burst of joy erupted somewhere deep inside of her. She looked at her watch. It was almost two—he shouldn’t be too long now.

Things had settled into a delightful routine over these past few weeks since their trip to Venice.

They’d been able to spend quite a lot of time together because Antonio wasn’t so busy at work. He’d caught up on a lot of the backlog from when he was away and things at the office had quietened down so he was getting home earlier and earlier every day.

Sometimes he arrived when Nathan was having his afternoon nap and they would take advantage of the fact and have a siesta themselves. Just thinking about those languid afternoons making love in the cool of his bedroom made her turn to jelly inside.

Sometimes he would take them out. Yesterday they’d gone to Malcesine, a magical little village on the banks of Lake Garda. They’d explored the medieval castle and then Antonio had insisted on buying Nathan a gigantic ice cream whilst they’d sat at a café in the square. It had been fun sitting watching the world go by, just the three of them, in contented silence on a sleepy hot afternoon.

Victoria didn’t think she had ever felt so happy.

And Nathan had loved every minute of their outings. But then he adored Antonio, seemed to almost hero-worship him.

She knew Antonio was just being kind and that he had no real feelings for her son and yet he was so gentle and patient that it made her love him all the more.

She heard the click of a gate as someone walked around from the front of the house and she looked over, hoping it would be Antonio.

But it wasn’t. Instead an elderly man in a lightweight suit stood just under the trees. ‘I was looking for Antonio,’ he murmured in heavily accented English.

With a shock she realized that it was Antonio’s father, and memories of that terrible night when she’d gone to his house came flooding back.

Hurriedly she got to her feet. ‘He’s not home yet.’

Luc Cavelli noticed how different she looked. There was still a look of wariness in her expression, but her general appearance was relaxed, her summer clothes feminine and fitted. Her hair was loose and she was wearing a trendy pair of designer glasses that suited her immensely. No wonder everyone who had seen her out and about with his son had told him she was beautiful.

He transferred his attention over towards Nathan as he continued to splash in the pool with unreserved enthusiasm. ‘Your son seems to be enjoying himself,’ he said with a smile.

‘Yes.’

There was a moment’s awkward silence between them. Victoria didn’t know what to say to him.

‘Well, I’m sorry I disturbed you.’ He nodded politely and turned to go. ‘Tell Antonio that I called, will you?’

‘He shouldn’t be long,’ Victoria found herself saying impulsively. ‘Do you want to sit and wait for him?’

Slowly the man turned back and looked at her.

At first she thought he wasn’t going to accept, but then he inclined his head. ‘That would be good. It’s hot today, and I can’t take the heat as much as I used to.’ As he walked over and sat down at the table Victoria realized that he did look tired.

‘Would you like a cold drink, Signor Cavelli? I have some freshly squeezed orange juice in the fridge. It’s quite nice mixed with sparkling water.’ She shrugged. ‘Well, it’s what I like to drink in the heat of the day.’

What was she prattling on about? she wondered nervously. This man probably hated her and wouldn’t be in the slightest bit interested in what she liked to drink!

But to her surprise he smiled. ‘That’s very kind.’

‘OK. Would you mind keeping an eye on Nathan for me?’

‘No, I don’t mind at all.’ The man looked over towards the little boy, watching his youthful energy with interest. He’d also heard reports about the child—and about how much he looked like Antonio. There was a resemblance now he looked closer.

When Victoria returned a few moments later with the tray of drinks and some biscuits she found that Nathan had got out of the water and was showing Antonio’s father his collection of inflatable toys. Everything was being dragged over, a big rubber ring, a giant red ball, a yellow duck.

‘Oh, no, Nathan! They are all wet!’ Hurriedly she put the
tray down on the table but it was too late. The dripping red ball was being firmly pushed onto the man’s knee.

‘It’s OK, really!’ Luc laughed as she rushed to take it away. ‘A little water will soon dry in this heat.’

‘Come and have a biscuit, Nathan, and leave Signor Cavelli in peace.’

‘Call me Luc, please.’ The man accepted the drink she poured out for him and then watched as the child settled onto her knee. ‘I think you are the one who will be soaking wet,’ he said.

She smiled as she looked down at her white skirt and short-sleeved blouse. ‘I was splashed to high heaven anyway.’

Luc watched as Nathan happily munched on his biscuit. He noticed how dark his eyes were, how golden his skin. ‘He’s a fine child,’ he said after a moment.

‘Yes, I think so, but then I am biased.’

‘He does look a little bit like Antonio,’ he reflected suddenly, and then turned to look directly at her. ‘Is he my son’s child?’

‘No.’ Victoria shook her head, her cheeks suddenly flaring with colour. ‘No, he’s not.’

‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.’ The man muttered something in Italian under his breath. ‘It was stupid of me! Antonio did tell me categorically that he wasn’t his, when he brought you both to my house.’ Luc shrugged. ‘It’s just that there is a resemblance.’

‘Just the same dark hair and eyes, that’s all.’ Victoria picked up the plate of biscuits and offered him one. But he shook his head.

She wanted to change the subject—talk about anything else—but she couldn’t think what to say. He was looking at her with such intensity.

‘I have to apologise to you for my rudeness that night,’ he said suddenly.

‘I think that’s probably best forgotten.’ She flicked him a nervous look. She certainly didn’t want to think about it. In
fact, she wanted to close that whole chapter of her life and just start her memories here with Antonio at the ball in Venice.

‘Well, that’s more than I deserve.’ He smiled at her. ‘I was just so angry. I’d promised Antonio that I would hand over my shares in the business if he got married and produced a child. I meant that I wanted him to have his own child to ensure the future of the Cavelli bloodline. But I didn’t word it like that in my correspondence.’

The words fell in the heat of the day like tiny shards of a bomb fragment.

‘So Antonio produced us,’ she said numbly as the last pieces of the charade fell into place. She supposed she’d always known deep down that it was something like that.

She remembered his words to her on the day he’d told her he wanted her for his wife.

‘I’m in need of a ready-made family for a short-term period without any strings or complications.’

She swept an unsteady hand through her hair, trying to shut the memory out. She didn’t want to remember what he’d said. Had been determinedly trying to close the facts out of her mind for weeks.

The man’s tired gaze moved back to Nathan, who was sliding off her knee now to go back and pick up his toys.

‘I shouldn’t have taken my annoyance out on you,’ Luc said softly. ‘It was just when Antonio told me that night that he would never have his own child and that I would never pressurise him to making that kind of commitment, I was…livid.’

‘I understand.’ Victoria’s voice was husky. She didn’t want to understand; she wanted to close her ears and block out the truth. But she knew that was just stupid…just as it had been stupid of her to try and block out the truth about her marriage over these past few weeks. She’d lulled herself into a false sense of security! And now with every word that Luc Cavelli was uttering she realized how crazy that had been.

‘Stupidly, when people reported seeing you out with my son—seeing…Nathan…’ His gaze moved to the child. ‘I had a wild hope that Antonio had been lying to me…but it was just wishful thinking.’

‘He wouldn’t have lied about something as important as that,’ Victoria told him with raw pain in her eyes.

He nodded. ‘Ah, well…such is life.’ Once more the man looked over at Nathan. ‘I have a lot of high-powered lawyers who are annoyed with me that I didn’t consult them in the first instance over this issue, but to be honest I didn’t have the—what is it you English say?—the
stomach
for it.’

‘Lawyers can sometimes make things worse anyway,’ Victoria murmured. ‘I think you and Antonio would be better to talk honestly to each other.’

‘Wise words. But unfortunately we have been too far apart for too long, and it’s my fault, I admit.’ Luc shook his head. ‘But when I told Antonio that I wanted him to settle down and have a family I meant it sincerely. I’m getting old…and…well, Antonio doesn’t know this but my health isn’t good. Things like that make you re-evaluate your life and the things that are important. I’ve been taking a long hard look at myself and I honestly haven’t liked what I’ve seen.’

‘You should tell Antonio this,’ Victoria advised.

‘It’s too late for that. I shouldn’t have tried to force his hand the way I did. I’ve always been the same—I’ve done things to suit myself without thought. I can be too single-minded, too determined.’

‘Sounds like the two of you are a lot alike,’ she murmured, and he gave a grunt of laughter.

‘Don’t tell him that! My son isn’t frightened of anything in life—apart from ever being like me.’ He shook his head. ‘And I can’t say I blame him.’

Silence fell. ‘You really should still try and talk to him,’ she said after a moment as she remembered the sadness that had befallen their lives. ‘People make mistakes.’

The man sighed. ‘Anyway, I’ve come to tell him that I’ve transferred the shares over into his name. I did it this morning.’

Victoria couldn’t find her voice to answer him. If Antonio had his shares, that meant he no longer needed her here. He’d been completely honest about that. What was it he’d said?
‘As soon as my business transaction is completed we can have the marriage dissolved and go our separate ways—no need to see each other ever again.’

Luc frowned suddenly. ‘Are you OK? You look a little pale.’

She nodded and desperately tried to pull herself together. She’d known this moment would come. It was crazy to be upset.

Luc seemed about to say something else, but the sound of the gate opening behind them made them both look around.

It was Antonio and just the sight of him made her heart race with a need so deep that she hated herself for it.

She saw the look of surprise on his face when he noticed his father at the table—surprise and annoyance. But before he could say anything Nathan had scrambled out of the pool to run towards him with an excited whoop of delight.

With complete disregard for the fact that he would get his suit wet, Antonio scooped him up.

Watching them, Victoria felt as if someone had stabbed a dagger through her.

She shouldn’t have allowed Nathan to get so attached to Antonio…
shouldn’t have allowed herself to get so attached.

‘So what is going on here?’ Antonio asked curtly, looking over towards his father.

‘Your father has come to offer his apologies for…the other night and to talk to you.’ Victoria got stiffly up from the table and with a smile in Luc Cavelli’s direction she went to take her son from Antonio.

Nathan wasn’t happy about being transferred, but Victoria ignored his cries. ‘I’ll leave you two to talk,’ she told Antonio.

Nathan wailed all the way from the garden up to his nursery. ‘Be a good boy for Mummy,’ she told him softly.

She felt like crying too but she tried to focus on her child and on what was important.

It was time to go home. She had to be practical now.

The new restaurant was finished. The opening night was set for next week.

‘Nathan, please stop crying,’ she told him as she stripped him out of his wet togs.

She glanced out of the window down towards the garden. Antonio hadn’t sat down at the table. His body language was confrontational.

She hoped that he would at least listen to his father. They needed to draw a line under the past before it was too late.

Victoria bathed and changed Nathan. He was getting tired now, ready for his afternoon nap. She put him down and he fell asleep without a murmur. Then she went through to Antonio’s room and switched on the computer.

She didn’t even realize what she was doing until she found herself looking at flights to Australia. There was one that left at eight-thirty tonight, but she would have to fly via Rome.

Staring at the itinerary she found her eyes blurring with tears. She didn’t want to go! She rubbed at her eyes, trying desperately to get her thoughts under control. Maybe she should wait and talk to Antonio, sound him out as to what he was thinking.

Trouble was she had her pride. What could she say to him?

How do you feel about me?
She cringed. He’d probably say he enjoyed the sex but the status quo hadn’t changed. That he didn’t do commitment.

But after the time they’d shared these past few weeks, didn’t she at least deserve to find out if that definitely was still the case?

The bedroom door opened suddenly and Antonio strolled in.

Hurriedly she pressed the sleep button on the computer so that the screen shut down, and then she stood. ‘Has your father gone home now?’