Read It Was a Very Bad Year Online
Authors: Robert J. Randisi
âWe need to talk.'
âAbout what?'
âAbby Dalton.'
âAbby . . .' He turned to the girl. âGet dressed, baby.'
âAre we done, Barney?'
âYeah, baby, we're done.'
âWhen will I get to meetâ'
âGet dressed!' he snapped. âI'll talk to you later.'
âOK, Barney.'
She stepped down from the stage and trotted off toward another door, and through. We all watched her jiggle until she was gone, then looked back at each other.
âYou remember Abby Dalton, don't you, Mr Irwin?' I asked.
âShe was Marlene Wasden when I knew her,' Irwin said. âA pretty little thing. You can see her picture in my window.'
âBut she's a TV star now,' I said. âFamous.'
âSo she is.' He walked to a table and set his camera down on it. âWhat's that got to do with me?' He started walking around the room, stooping to pick up the spent bulbs.
âWhat was that girl's name?' I asked.
He straightened and looked at me. âWho? Jenny?' He jerked his thumb in the direction of the door the girl had gone through.
âYou ever take pictures of other girls like the ones you were takin' of Jenny?' I asked.
âSure,' Barney said. âI got connections. I can get them jobs at the casinos.'
âAs what? Cigarette girls?'
âShow girls,' he said. âThat's why they come to me. That's why they pose.' He dropped all the bulbs into a trash can.
âAnd what about Abby? Or Marlene? Did she pose for pictures like those?'
âLike those?' Barney asked. âNo, she was classy, even as a teenager.'
âSo that means no naked pictures of her?'
Irwin turned to look at me.
âWhy are you interested?' he asked. âWhy should I talk to you about that?'
âI'm just askin' questions, Barney.'
âYeah, but why?' Irwin asked. âSay, who sent you here? Who gave you my name?'
âAsk anybody in Vegas who takes the best cheesecake pictures,' I said. âDon't they say Barney Irwin?'
Irwin frowned. âYou tryin' to do a stroke job on me?'
âMe?' I said. âStroke the great Barney Irwin?'
âAw, whataya want here?' Irwin said, growing annoyed. âI got work to do.'
âGot another girl comin' in?' I asked. âAnother young girl to make get naked in front of you?'
âHey, I'm an artist,' Irwin said. âAll artists use girls as models.'
âYeah,' Jerry said, âbut most artists got talent.'
âHey, I got talent,' Irwin said. âI been in this business a long time.'
âYeah,' Jerry said, âwe can tell that from all the dust on everything in here.'
âOh, that?' Irwin said. âYeah, I got a woman who comes in â only she's been sick.'
âYou got any copies of the photos you took of Abby Dalton, Barney?'
Irwin hesitated, then said, âThat was a long time ago.'
âDoes that mean no?'
âI'd have to look.'
âI tell you what,' I said. âIf you find any, I'll buy them from you. Top dollar.'
Irwin got a greedy look in his eyes.
âTop dollar?'
âFor every photo. And the negative.'
âI'll have to look,' he said, again.
I took out a business card and placed it on a table.
âGive me a call at the Sands when you find them.'
âAnd what about my girls? Like Jenny? What about her? Can you get her a job in your show?'
âIt's not my show,' I said, âbut I'll see what I can do.'
âI got lots of girls like her.'
âI'll bet you do.'
âI got plenty of pictures of them.'
âJust the pictures of Abby Dalton for now, Barney,' I said. âLet's start there.'
W
e left the studio and walked to the car. Along the way we passed a buxom redhead walking quickly toward the place.
âNext,' Jerry said.
âProbably.'
âI coulda squeezed him, ya know,' Jerry said.
âI know it, Jerry. Let's see what my offer gets us first.' I had the uncomfortable feeling I had played it wrong.
âYou really think he'll sell you nudie pictures of Miss Dalton?'
âI don't know,' I said. âIt depends on how greedy he is. If he's the one harassing it's more likely he'll come up with a bunch of cheesecake photos, just for the money, but no nudes.'
âBut you said nobody asked Miss Dalton for any money, yet.'
âThat's right.'
âSo maybe it ain't him.'
âEven if he's not the one contacting her,' I said, âhe's still the one who took the photos. She didn't say anything about posing for anyone else.'
âWhat about pictures from movies?' Jerry asked.
âShe hasn't been naked in any movies.'
âYeah, but maybe on the set, or in her dressing room? Maybe somebody caught her when she wasn't looking?'
âMaybe.'
We got to the Caddy and got in, Jerry behind the wheel. He started the car and pulled away from the curb.
âWhere to?' he asked.
âBack to the Sands.'
âWhat about somethin' to eat?'
âIt's not lunch time,' I said.
âI was thinkin' about a snack.'
âWe just had breakfast.'
âThat was a couple of hours ago,' he said.
I gave in and directed Jerry to a diner. I had coffee while he polished off a burger, fries and a large Coke.
âI got an idea,' he said.
âWhat?'
âWhy don't we take a look in Irwin's studio before he has a chance to get rid of anything.'
âYou mean break in?'
He nodded. âTonight.'
âHe might have gotten rid of everything by then.'
âWell then, right after he closes up,' Jerry said.
âHe might still take the photos home, or destroy them. I think I might've played this wrong, Jerry.'
âAll we need to do is have somebody watch him,' Jerry said, âthen follow him. See what he leaves with. Once we get inside we should be able to tell if he burned anything.'
âI don't know,' I said. âBreaking and entering . . .'
âWe done worse before.'
âI know it.'
âWhat about the private eye?' he asked. âCan he watch him?'
He meant Danny Bardini, my buddy the private eye.
âI'll give him a call, see if he's around and available.'
âThen we'll do it?'
âYeah, sure,' I said. âWhy not? Let's take a look and see what ol' Barney's got.'
âWhen Danny finds out where he lives, we can check that out, too.'
âJerry,' I said, âwhy don't we handle one break-in at a time.'
W
hen we got back to the Sands, Jerry went looking for his cousin, and I got to a phone and called Danny's office.
âHey, big boy,' Penny said. âYou haven't been around in a while.'
âWell,' I said, âthat either means I've been busy, or I've been staying out of trouble. Is he around?'
âHe is,' she said. âI'll put you through.'
Penny was Danny's secretary, but she wanted to be more â both professionally, and personally. Danny trusted very few people. I was one, Penny was fighting to become another.
âHey, pit boss,' he said. âWhat's up?'
âDanny, I need your talent.'
âAs what?'
âAs a PI, doofus,' I said. âWhat else?'
âI thought maybe you needed help with your love life.'
âMy love life is fine,' I said, although I almost said, âWhat love life?'
âWhataya need?'
âYou know who Abby Dalton is?'
âDo I?' he said. âShe's that dish who plays Joey Bishop's wife. And she used to be on
Hennessy
.'
âYou've been watching a lot of TV lately.'
âYeah, well . . . never mind that,' he said, because following that up might lead to questions about
his
love life. âYou tellin' me I'm gonna meet Abby Dalton?'
âMaybe,' I said. âHere's the deal.'
I gave it to him step by step, and he listened quietly, didn't speak until I was finished.
âYou let the big guy talk you into breakin' into the studio?'
âYep, that's what happened.'
âJesus . . . whataya need me for. A lookout?'
âI need you to get over there and watch him,' I said. âI want to know if he leaves with anything. And I want to know where he goes. And where he lives.'
âIs that all of it?'
âFor now.'
âYou don't want my help with the break in?'
âNo, I think Jerry and I can handle that part.'
âWhat about where he lives? You gonna break in there, too?'
âWell . . . if we don't find what we're looking for at the studio.'
âOK,' Danny said, âso when I follow him home I'll scope it out, look for the best ways in.'
âThat'd be great.'
âAnd when do I meet the luscious Miss Dalton?'
âSomewhere along the way,' I said, âI'm sure that'll happen.'
âNo, no, no,' he said, âwe gotta agree that it
will
happen.'
âOK,' I said, âsomewhere along the way it
will
happen.'
âYou know,' he said, âsometimes bein' friends with you has perks . . .'
Yeah, I thought, like meeting Marilyn Monroe, Ava Gardner, and now Abby.
â. . . but sometimes it don't.'
Oh yeah, like being kidnapped and tied up in a basement for days, and almost getting killed.
âSo I guess you'll have to weigh up the pros and cons,' I said.
âOh, I did that a long time ago, buddy,' he said, âand you came out on top. Give me the address of the studio.'
Irwin Studios had its hours on the door, printed on a faded card. The day being a Wednesday he closed at five p.m. We arrived at five fifteen and parked, around the corner this time.
âWe can't go in the front,' Jerry said. âEven an amateur like you knows that.'
âI'm an amateur?' I asked. âWhen did you become a professional burglar?'
âI'm in what you call a related profession, Mr G.'
âI see.'
âWe gotta go around the back.'
We found an alley that led behind the strip of buildings that included the studio. There were dumpsters back there, and a few of the buildings had docks for deliveries. Lucky for us, the address numbers were on the walls.
âThis is it,' Jerry said. It was a green metal door, which meant that breaking it down was out of the question, even for Jerry.
âNow what?' I asked. âA window?'
âNo, I'm gonna try somethin',' Jerry said. He took out what looked like a case for eyeglasses. âLock picks,' he said. âI got 'em a few weeks ago, and I been practicin'.'
He got down on one knee and inserted the tools into the lock. It takes precision to pick a lock, and I was surprised he could even attempt it with fingers the size of his.
After fifteen minutes I asked, âHow much longer is this gonna take?'
âI almost got it.'
âWell, come on,' I urged him. âIt's starting to get dark.'
âDon't worry,' He said, without looking at me. âI brought a flashlight.'
I looked at him. He was wearing jeans and a windbreaker.
âWhere the hell are you carrying a flashlight?' I asked.
He paused long enough to go into his pocket and show it to me. It looked like a pen in his big hand. He put it back and returned his attention to the lock.
After twenty minutes he said, âGot it.'
âGood.'
He reached for the door and I put my hand out to stop him.
âWhat's wrong?'
âI don't want to find any bodies inside.'
âWhy would we find a body?'
âI'm just putting it out there,' I said. âI mean, we have a history.'
âNo bodies, Mr G.,' he assured me.
âOK.'
He opened the door and we went inside.
I
t was dusk but dark inside. In another half hour it would be genuine night.
We were in a hallway, but not the same one as last time. Jerry took out his pen light and turned it on. The beacon was remarkably bright for its size.
âWe gotta find an office,' Jerry said. âThat's where he'll keep his files.'
We moved down the hall, with me following closely behind. I was careful not to step on his heels.
Jerry used his light to find the office, off the hallway we were in.
âWe're in luck,' he said.
âWhy?'
âNo windows,' he said. âWe can turn on a light.'
He found a desk lamp, switched it on, then flicked off his flashlight and put it back in his pocket. The lamp was one of those with a green glass shade, most of the light being directed to the desk top. But we were still able to see the rest of the room pretty well. The desk itself was cheap metal, with many dents and one leg shorter than the other three. The top was a mess of papers and photos. Along one wall was a mismatched collection of metal file cabinets which, I assumed, contained files collected over many years. A layer of dust covered everything, but it enabled us to see which parts of the room Irwin used the most.
âLook here,' Jerry said. âThese two cabinets have got his hand prints all over 'em.'
âAnd the desk,' I said. âLet's get started.'
I took the desk, and Jerry started on the cabinets. I sat in Irwin's rickety chair and started rifling the drawers. There were two on the left, two on the right, and a smaller, center one. I started on the left, found one drawer full of papers. I leafed through them, but didn't find anything interesting. The top left drawer had something, though â a .38 revolver. I didn't touch it, closed the drawer and started on the right. More papers, some cheesecake photos of what looked like half a dozen pretty young girls. They were all smiling vacantly into the camera while showing lots of leg or cleavage. The top drawer yielded a half-eaten sandwich â tuna, from the smell â and some rotten fruit that had been in there for a while.