Into the Night (19 page)

When the water turned cool, she got out and dressed in a pair of soft, loose sweatpants and a T-shirt, then ran a comb through her hair to let it air-dry. Still feeling restless, she headed into the living room. Across the way, she noticed that Nathan had left his bedroom door open in a silent invitation, but after everything she’d endured tonight she needed time alone to unwind and sort out her thoughts.

Preferring the cloak of darkness, she switched off the table lamps and sat down on the floor behind one of the couches in the living room facing the windows overlooking the Las Vegas Strip. In every direction, bright neon lit up the city like a never-ending light parade, and while she was normally awed by the amazing sight, tonight she found it difficult to enjoy the spectacular view.

She felt raw inside, and she couldn’t get Holly out of her head. The despondent look in her eyes and how she was assuaging her inner pain and feelings with drugs and alcohol and barely functioning on her own. Then there was Holly’s adoration and devotion to a man who had no qualms about using her—emotionally and physically.

It was such a horrible, grievous situation, and Nicole couldn’t begin to imagine what had happened in Holly’s life to make the young girl travel down this particular path—one that would undoubtedly end in heartbreak. Sloane had already stolen her youth and destroyed her innocence, and by the time he was done with Holly there was little doubt in Nicole’s mind that there would be nothing left to salvage of the guileless girl she’d once been.

A mixture of anger and sorrow tightened her chest. But as upset as Holly’s situation made Nicole, she understood all too well how easy it was to be swayed by a charismatic smile, to fall for a man who knew exactly the right words to make a girl believe she was the center of his universe.

Nicole, too, had been lured in by pretty lies and compliments that had gone straight to her head and made her think she was in love, to the point that she’d compromised her principles to keep her man happy.

The situation with Holly was worse than Nicole had endured. Nicole had been young and naive, definitely, but she’d been an adult at eighteen, not an innocent girl who had no one to turn to, and nowhere to go.

But it was the other similarities that ate at Nicole. The need to please a man so overwhelming that she’d succumbed to his perverse desires. The increasing dependence on some kind of relaxant to do the demoralizing, humiliating things Mark had asked of her. And how he’d shredded a little piece of her soul every time she’d allowed him to use her for his own twisted pleasures.

Mark had taken a once-outgoing, confident girl and destroyed her self-esteem. With his practiced manipulation, he’d made Nicole weak and insecure. He’d taken advantage of her vulnerability and emotions, until he’d grown tired of her and moved on to another young protégée, leaving her devastated and unable to focus on her college classes, exams, and the grades she needed.

It had been a dark time for her, a cruel life lesson that could have sent her spiraling down a much different path, and nearly had. Only with the help of a counselor had she managed to get her head back on straight and finish college with her degree in journalism, along with the drive to succeed.

But the whole sordid experience had left her determined to never allow a man that kind of control over her again. And to never let a man come before anything else in her life that mattered.

So far, so good.

Unfortunately, once Sloane was done with Holly she’d just remain broken, unless someone stepped in to save her. Even then, Nicole was certain a part of the girl would never be the same.

“Hey, what are you doing sitting out here in the dark all by yourself?” Nathan asked, startling her out of her deep reflection on the evening’s events, and her own past. “Are you okay?”

She’d been so wrapped up in her thoughts she hadn’t even heard him approach. He stood next to where she was sitting on the floor, his feet bare, and she just didn’t have the energy to glance all the way up to his face. “I can’t stop thinking about Holly.” She’d told him about the girl on the drive home, and he’d been sympathetic and understanding.

“I know,” he said softly, and sat down beside her. “It’s not easy to witness what we did tonight and walk away unaffected. That’s a large part of the reason why I quit the force. It’s even more difficult to watch those girls sell their souls to the devil himself.”

“And for what?” Nicole met his gaze in the shadowed darkness, feeling tortured from the inside out. “Jewelry? Crumbs of affection? A pretty room that Holly doesn’t have to share with anyone else?” She shook her head in disgust, wishing she could make sense of it all. “What makes those girls living with Sloane believe that trading sex for expensive material things is a great life?”

Leaning against the back of the couch behind them, Nathan stretched his legs out and splayed his hands on his thighs, settling in to talk to her. “In my experience, I learned a lot of the girls are runaways. Either they come from a bad home to begin with, or they believe there’s something better waiting for them outside their parents’ rules.”

“And sleazy guys like Sloane offer them just enough privileges and extravagant gifts to hook them in,” she said, unable to keep the bitterness from her voice.

“Exactly.” Nathan sighed, as if he, too, despised everything that Preston Sloane stood for. “They’re young and impressionable, and they get caught up in the promises, the draw of what they perceive to be a glamorous life. It’s unlike anything they’ve ever experienced, and he makes it exciting and irresistible to them.”

Her lips pursed in anger. “Then comes the alcohol and the drugs, and then they’re addicted to more than just Sloane.”

“Unfortunately, that’s the way men like Sloane operate.” His tone was far more reasonable than hers, and she chalked it up to the fact that he was much more seasoned in dealing with the harsh realities of predatory men who took advantage of underage girls.

“You know, tonight I met Holly, who was so willing to do whatever it took to please Sloane. It’s just a matter of time before he discards her, if he hasn’t already.” Her throat felt raw, and her stomach churned with a multitude of emotions—mingling her own personal history with tonight’s events. “And while a part of me is infuriated that she allowed herself to get involved in such a degrading situation, another part of me completely understands how it can happen.”

He tipped his head curiously. “How so?”

“It’s a long story.” And one she wasn’t certain she wanted to share.

He smiled, the sentiment gentle and caring. “As far as I’m concerned, we have the entire night to talk if you need to.”

The compassion in his eyes unraveled her guard, as did the knowledge that he was willing to listen. After everything she’d seen tonight, and recognizing a piece of herself in Holly, the urge to talk about her emotional connection to the girl was strong. Everything was sitting so heavily on her chest, and her own humiliating past clawed with the need to be released and set free.

Except for a college mental health counselor, she’d never confessed to anyone about her relationship with her English professor. She’d been so ashamed that she’d let someone she trusted take advantage of her, she hadn’t been able to bring herself to even tell her parents the truth about why she’d fallen into a short bout of depression after her first term at Columbia University. Instead, upon returning to college for her sophomore year, she’d buried all the anguish and grief away and poured all her time and energy into graduating and then building a career as a journalist.

She’d believed that particular part of her life was all behind her, that she’d resolved those issues and moved on. But tonight’s exposure to Holly had unearthed those agonizing memories and pushed them right up to the surface, making her feel emotionally stripped bare.

She glanced at Nathan, who was waiting patiently for her to say something, and she debated on how much to reveal, if anything at all. In the past few days she’d learned enough about him to know he was an honorable man, that he’d be the last person to judge her for the bad choices she’d made in her past. Sitting next to him in the dark, she felt safe and secure, and she couldn’t remember ever feeling that way with any other man.

She trusted her instincts. And she was about to trust Nathan with her deepest, darkest secrets.

“When I left my small town in Iowa to attend Columbia University in New York, it was the most exciting time of my life. I was eighteen and felt so grown-up and mature being on my own for the first time ever.” Looking back, it was easy to see just how young and vulnerable she’d been, ignorant even. A small-town girl with stars in her eyes and big dreams in her heart.

“I was nervous, a little scared, and at times felt lonely. But I was determined to study hard, get good grades, and most especially impress my English professor, since journalism was my major and I was at CU on a full scholarship based on my writing ability and my solid grade point average in high school.”

“Very impressive,” Nathan said, sounding sincere.

“Thanks,” she said, and smiled for a moment before getting back to her story. “My freshman English professor, Mark Reeves, was a really good-looking guy and had a charming personality to go with it. He was thirty-seven, but he looked exceptionally young, and it was well known that most of the girls in his classes had a huge crush on him.”

“Including you?” Nathan guessed quietly.

She nodded. “Yeah, including me. And it was very exciting when he started paying extra attention to me. Out of all the other girls he had as students, he took me under his wing and really made me feel special as a writer, and as a woman. He lavished me with praise, gave me all A’s on my essays and tests even when I felt they weren’t my absolute best, and he flirted with me in a way that made me feel sexy and attractive. He told me that he saw something special in me and my writing ability, and I honestly believed him.”

“You trusted him.”

Nathan understood, which was why it was so easy for her to open up and talk to him. “I had no reason not to trust him up to this point. He was perfect, as far as I was concerned,” she said, and didn’t miss the cynical note in her voice now that she was older and wiser. “I was so infatuated with Mark, and when he invited me over to his apartment to help me with a big writing project, I was not only flattered, but excited to be completely alone with him. He made me dinner and we talked about my current essay and what I could do to make it stronger and better, and then he kissed me and told me how much he wanted me.”

She remembered that night all too well. The flurry of butterflies in her stomach as his lips touched hers. The surge of exhilaration that someone like Mark Reeves, an older, sophisticated man, could desire her. His sole attention, along with the seductive, romantic way he treated her, had been like an aphrodisiac, feeding a part of her that felt alone in a new city away from family and friends.

“After that night, the relationship quickly turned intimate, and for me, very emotional, especially after giving him my virginity. The sex was hot, and being with Mark was quite an eye-opener. I was more than eager to learn what pleased him the most because I honestly believed that I was in love with him.” She felt the warm rush of old humiliation sweep across her cheeks, but a glance at Nathan told her that she had no reason to be ashamed. That it wasn’t her fault Mark Reeves had taken advantage of her youth and innocence.

“A little over a month after we had sex for the first time, Mark started pressuring me to … expand our sexual repertoire. At first, I didn’t understand what he meant, but I trusted him enough to go along with what he wanted. Some things were … interesting, and other things he asked me to do made me uncomfortable.”

She dragged her fingers through her hair and exhaled a deep breath before continuing. “I didn’t mind when he asked me to dress like a stripper, or we watched porn together, and some of the toys he used were kind of fun,” she admitted. “But then those sexual stimulants weren’t enough for him, and he started introducing things that made me feel uneasy, like bondage, exhibitionism, and even some S and M.”

“Did you tell him you weren’t interested?” Nathan asked gruffly.

She nodded. “Yes, and that’s when he insisted that I just needed to relax and I’d enjoy it as much as he did. He started giving me these little white pills that calmed my anxiety, and he assured me it was perfectly safe. Whatever it was, the drug definitely lowered my inhibitions, to the point that I let him do things that I normally wouldn’t.”

Nathan’s jaw clenched with a glimpse of fury. “The guy was a real asshole, wasn’t he?”

A choppy laugh escaped her. Nathan’s question was a rhetorical one that didn’t need a verbal reply because the answer was obvious. “About two months later, he started talking about the two of us indulging in a ménage à trois. He told me his greatest desire was to watch me with another man, to share me…”

She shook her head, revolted anew at the thought. “I didn’t want to do it, but he stepped up the pressure. He told me I was special, that watching me with another man, sharing me, would only heighten what we had together.”

Nathan cursed under his breath. “What happened?” he asked gently.

“Because I was afraid of losing him, I gave in and agreed.” Her stomach roiled at the memory. “This time, going into the threesome,
I
asked him for one of those little white pills, because I knew I couldn’t do it otherwise.” Just like Holly had needed drugs and alcohol tonight to get through whatever sexual favors Sloane’s men expected of her. Nicole knew exactly what that felt like.