Into the Deep (10 page)

11

Keeping to Myself

T
he rest of Friday I spent by myself. Brant went off with Jason and Skyler so I went to the library alone. This time I checked out a collection of short stories by
Stephen King
and took note that the girl behind the counter was named Charlotte Olsen. She was reading Orwell’s
1984
and used her time card as a bookmark. I didn’t talk to her, but filed her name away in my memory anyway.
     That night, Dad wasn’t home for dinner, and I remember Mom being quieter than usual. I chose not to listen in on what she was thinking. I didn’t want to know what was bothering her. After we ate, I helped Sadie with her math homework then pulled out the checkers board that dad and I used to play with when I was Sadie’s age. I let her win a few games.
     That weekend, I stayed in. It had been months since I’d spent a weekend at home. Months since I’d chosen to hang out with my mom and watch a movie instead of going out to a party, on a date or out to the mall with friends. Saturday night, when Mom and I were watching some romanticized vampire film and ate microwave popcorn, I realized that I’d missed doing that. I missed lounging on the sofa in my sweats with my hair pulled up in a pony, missed talking with my mom and laughing through mouthfuls of buttery popcorn goodness. It felt refreshing to have a night being me again, to have a night where I didn’t have to care about what to wear or if I’d say the wrong thing or if I was wearing enough makeup, or too much. It was fun, hanging out with Mom and Sadie. It made me feel normal again.
     I didn’t talk to Tiana or Christy at all that weekend, didn’t call Eliza to see what they’d been saying about me. I simply didn’t care. They could say what they wanted. For once I simply didn’t give a shit what they thought of me.
     On Sunday, I woke up early feeling great. Mom made blueberry pancakes for breakfast along with homemade grapefruit juice, and we all sat together to eat at the table. I watched as Sadie slathered syrup over her cakes then watched as Dad came down the stairs dressed for work.
     “Emily, have you seen my blue tie?” He held a dark red tie in his hand and looked at my mother expectantly.
     I saw him smile at me from where I was sitting at the kitchen table. Mom walked up to him then and gave him a peck on the lips.
     “It’s at the drycleaners.” She took the red tie he held and wrapped it around his neck. “This one will look just fine.”
     Dad tilted his head as she secured the knot. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
     “I can’t believe they’re making you go in on a Sunday,” Mom said. Her fingers were fidgeting with the lapels of his suit coat.
     “I know I’ve been at the office a lot lately, but I’ll only be gone a few hours today. I promise.” Dad looked over to Sadie and me. “Love you girls, I’ll see you tonight,” he said and Sadie waved.
     I didn’t wave or say goodbye. I was listening to his thoughts.
    
God, it’s already gotten so late
. He was looking at his watch.
Liz was expecting me ten minutes ago. If I didn’t have to get all dressed up like I was going to work, this would be so much easier.
“Well I’ve got to go, I’m already late.”
     “Have a good day, honey.”
     He waved once more and then he was out the door.

12

Sorry Charlie

B
rant wasn’t at school on Monday. When I got there, I found myself looking around for him, but he wasn’t on the common. I noticed Skyler and Jason hovering in their usual spot against the building, standing in its shadow between the parking lot and the courtyard, but they were alone. In the distance I heard laughing and murmured conversation. Students were shuffling in and meeting up on the courtyard, but there was no one I was looking for anymore. In that moment I felt alone, but it was brief.
    
Intervention time
, I heard in Eliza’s voice.
     I looked across the common to see her and Christy headed my way. In the distance, Damon and Tiana sat near the fountain. They glanced at me with wary eyes.
     “Ivy,” Christy said as they approached. “I’m so glad to see you.” Christy walked over to one side of me and Eliza went to the other. She put her arm around me and, as they flanked me, we all began to walk. “I know you’ve been on this sad downward spiral thing lately, but we want you to know we’re here to help.”
     Eliza nodded in agreement. “Everyone has their moments when they’re not thinking straight.”
     “Right, exactly, and just because you’ve totally lost touch with reality and have probably been hooking up with the school lost cause doesn’t mean there isn’t hope. We just have to look at the bright side, like how even on a diet you can still have chocolate cake. As long as it’s only a little slice, you know. The point is we’re here for you.”
     I stopped walking, forcing them to stop with me. “Alright, stop,” I said. “First off, I am not and have not I been
hooking up
with the school ‘lost cause,’ and, second, I’m not in a downward spiral, I haven’t lost it.”
    
God, it’s so much worse than I thought
, “I know you’re upset about Steve not being into you, but…”
     “Whoa, Steve wasn’t not into me, I wasn’t into him. Remember, I was the one that left the beach that night. Look, I don’t need your help because there’s nothing wrong with me.” I pushed away from them and started to walk off.
    
Wow, what a stuck up bitch
, I heard Eliza think, but I ignored it.
     “Did that really just happen?” Christy asked Eliza astonished.
     Their voices faded away into the distance as I made my way inside the building.

I
didn’t talk to any of them again that day. I planned to spend my lunch hour in the library again and enjoy my peace and quiet. Walking through the halls on my way to the library, bagel and cream cheese in hand, I wondered where Brant was. I knew I probably shouldn’t. After all, he wasn’t exactly known for having great attendance, but ever since I found myself with this ability he’d been around. Most likely he was just skipping class, but I couldn’t help but wonder if he were home sick or had some kind of doctor’s appointment.
     I sat down at a table in the library and pulled out the
Stephen King
book that I’d checked out the week before. I didn’t open it though. I was thinking about the voice I’d heard in the library the week before. I was trying to think of what I should do next, what else could I do to stop the school from exploding, which in and of itself didn’t sound so bad. It was the part where whoever this guy was wanted to blow it up with everyone still inside that I found disturbing.
     I’d already talked to Eric Thompson and ruled him out. Brant had wanted to talk to Craig Fister, but I didn’t really know who he was so I decided to wait on questioning him until Brant was back at school. Still though, there had to be something else I could do. If it wasn’t Craig that I heard then we couldn’t just keep talking to people one after another. There had to be a better way to narrow it down. I just didn’t know how to go about trying to find someone solely on the sound of their voice.
     I finished my bagel and tossed the empty cream cheese container in a nearby trash can then I picked up my book. I flipped it open to where I’d bookmarked my page and tried to let the story suck me in. But I couldn’t concentrate. Every time I’d read a sentence, I’d find my mind wandering to thoughts of who this person was that wanted to kill us all. I thought about how lonely he must feel if there wasn’t a single person in the entire school that he wouldn’t want to see dead. I thought then about my
friends
out on the courtyard today, thought about how, for as long as I’ve known them, they’ve pushed their ideas of who I should be onto me. I thought about all the times I’d gone to a party that I didn’t really want to go to because it was the place to be, or changed how I dressed or did my hair a certain way because it was in style. Sure, sometimes I did things because I liked them, but more often than not it was about fitting in, something that whoever wanted to blow up the school must have felt like they didn’t do. Then I thought about Brant.
     Brant didn’t care what anyone thought of him. He was different from most everyone else at school, not that he wasn’t judgmental. After all, he thought I was just like Christy Noonan once upon a time. But he was willing to get to know me, something I knew my friends wouldn’t be willing to do for him. He was willing to keep my secret, willing to help me, to catch me when I fell.
     I shook the thoughts of Brant out of my head. I needed to focus on something else. I needed to figure out how to narrow down my search for this bomber from every male student in the school to something more manageable, like limiting it to just the people in the library last Thursday. If only I could watch the film from the school security cameras and see who had been in the library at the same time as me. I knew I couldn’t do that though. Then I realized that there was one person who I could ask that might remember who’d been here a little better than me-the girl working at the front desk, Charlotte.
     I got up from the table and walked over to the front desk. Charlotte was pulling her hair back into a ponytail. The light tips of it swayed as she looped the band one last time around her hair.
     “Can I help you?” she asked.
     “Um, yeah you can actually… this is going to seem a little odd, but you were working last Thursday when I was in here. I’m trying to find someone, a guy, that I heard talking. I don’t know his name, but he was… a little off. I guess I’m just wondering if you remember anything weird from Thursday, if anyone stood out?”
     She gave me a blank stare.
Anything weird? This is the library, people have some interesting ideas of what a good read is, but nothing ever happens here, “
No, I don’t remember anyone standing out last Thursday.”
Except maybe, you, right at the end of the hour.
     “Right, um, do you remember any of the guys who were here last Thursday?”
    
Other than Brant who was making googly eyes at you or his stoner friend?
“Uh, a couple of guys from the football team were using the computers. I don’t really pay that much attention to people. I just scan the books you know. Oh, but that creepy senior guy, the one with the dreadlocks, he was here. I heard he skinned a cat once. That guy really creeps me out.”
Not to mention how screwed up is it that he gets off killing animals.
     Craig Fister, I felt like yelling out ‘bingo’ after she described him. “That helps a lot actually, that might have been him. Thanks, Charlotte.”
     “Oh, uh. It’s Charlie. I go by Charlie, and you’re welcome.” She smiled.
     I nodded then walked away. It seemed that Brant had the right idea all along. I felt relieved to possibly know who the future bomber was, but also nervous for the same reason. If it was Craig, I still didn’t know how I was going to stop him.

13.

Can You find Me?

O
n Tuesday, I got to school earlier than I had intended, avoiding Christy and the rest of my friends, if they were still friends. At that point I wasn’t sure what to consider them. I sat down in the soft grass with my book, resting my back against a tree. I didn’t hear him when he approached me, not his voice nor his thoughts, but I felt him standing before me. He had a heavy presence. He could be sly enough to walk up to me without making a sound, but the second he set his eyes on me, the weight of his gaze let me know he was there. I lowered my book and looked up to see Brant. His hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his jacket; his eyes diverting their gaze as if I hadn’t already know he’d been staring at me.
     “Where have you been?”  I asked him.
     “Not here, what’s it to you?”
     “Someone’s cranky,” I said as I closed my book and stood up to face him.
     He sighed. “Sorry, just haven’t had a great day so far is all.” He ran a hand through his hair.
     “Sorry,” I said.
     A moment of silence passed between us.
     “So, what’d I miss yesterday?”
     I sighed, “Quite a bit actually. Christy and her fellow lemmings decided that I needed an intervention, so they confronted me and tried to knock some sense into me.”
     Brant looked to me with an expression that said he was worried they’d gotten through to me, as if anything they had said had been logical. But, he kept his cool. “How’d that go?” He asked.
     “Fine. I told them to back off and that I wasn’t crazy, haven’t talked to any of them since. So life is good on that front.”
     He raised one eyebrow at me. “You’re not upset about your friends not talking to you?”
     “I think I’m just feeling like I need a little break from them… but that’s not the most interesting thing about yesterday. I was in the library and talked to that girl at the front desk. She said Craig Fister was in the library last Thursday.”
     His eyes lit up. “Guess we need to have a talk with Craig then.”
     “That’s what I’m thinking.”
     “And it looks like now might be our best chance to do so.”
     I turned around and looked to where Brant’s sight was locked. Stepping off campus and walking toward the row of trees that led into a small wood on the other side of the parking lot was who I assumed was Craig Fister. He was tall and lanky, wearing a t-shirt that looked too big for his frame and jeans that sagged loose on his hips. His hair was a knotted mess of light brown dreadlocks which lumped down around his shoulders and his eyes moved in a shifty motion as he kept lookout for anyone who might catch him ditching out.
     Brant didn’t have to say anything to me to get me to follow him. We both left school, listening as the first hour bell sounded behind us. We made our way quickly across the parking lot. The entire way, I was hoping that this would turn out to be our guy. So far all the signs were pointing to him. He’d been in the right places at the right times and he had a history that suggested he was capable of doing something so monstrous as to try and kill us all. I realized then that I was also a little fearful. I felt nauseous and shaky at the thought that this was the person who was plotting all of our deaths and wondered if it was the wisest thing to be following him into the secluded woods.
     Despite my nerves, Brant and I went after him anyway and I found myself swallowing to keep down the bile that was rising in my throat. There was a thin path that twisted through the trees and we followed it down to a small opening where there was a fallen tree. Craig was sitting on the fallen trunk. His gaze landed on us as we approached, but he didn’t bother to lose the joint that he held between his fingers. Instead he took another drag and focused his bloodshot eyes on me. I watched as they raked up my body while thick smoke spilled from his lips.
     “What can I do for you, cutie?” he said to me as if Brant were nowhere in sight.
God, would I like to hit that.
     “
We’re
here to ask you a few things,” Brant said.
     Craig took another drag of the joint and stared at Brant. “Well, what would that be then, looking to score a bit? What can I get you, a dime?” His eyes were back on me then, “An eighth?”
     “That would be a big no.” I said.
     “Don’t wanna get high, sweets?”
We could have a real fun time.
     “We were wondering what you were doing in the library last Thursday,” Brant said, the tone of his voice dragging Craig’s eyes to him.
     “Last Thursday?” He took one last drag of the joint then tossed its remainder into the woods. “Who says I was in the library last Thursday?”
     “I saw you there.” I hadn’t really, but it got his attention and he stood up and took a step toward me. His empty dark eyes with their red rims stared at me and refused to blink.
     “That so, well then what is it
you
need to know? I’ll let you have anything you want.” He grabbed a piece of my hair and twisted it between his fingers. “What do you say, goldilocks, should you and I go for a walk?”
     Before I could answer, Brant stepped in front of me and had his hand on Craig’s chest. He pushed him back and I watched Craig stumbled for a step. When he regained his balance, he stared Brant down with those lifeless dark eyes and I heard him think then that he wanted to fight him.
     “Don’t touch her,” Brant said in a calm and cool voice. “Look, we think you’re planning something, and we know all about it.”
     Craig looked startled. “Planning something? What are you talking about?”
     “I’m talking about you wanting to kill things.”
     “Hey now, some stray cat…”
     I felt my stomach twist.
     “Not the cat.”
     “What?”
     “I’m talking about students…”
     Craig’s face flared red with rage. “I’m not gonna shoot a person with my .22.”
     “What about a .22?” I piped in.
     “That’s how I killed that cat, got in my way when I was shooting cans in the backyard. It was an accident.”
     “I thought you skinned a cat?” Brant asked and Craig’s eyes shot to him.
     “What? Hell no, that’s fucked up, man.” Craig stepped up to Brant until he was a step away from him. Brant held his ground as Craig got in his face. “Look,” he poked Brant in the chest with his pointer finger, “I don’t know what you two are out here doing or what the hell you want from me, but whatever it is you’re thinking, you’re wrong.” Craig’s eyes were narrowed on Brant.
     “Get out of my face,” Brant replied, and that was when I stepped up between them, throwing my hands up.
     “Hey, stop now, Brant, let’s go.”
     Brant wouldn’t even look at me, and as I stood there I could hear both of them in my head. They were both waiting for the other to make a move, egging the other on in their thoughts. Then I put my hand on Brant’s arm and he backed up a step with me.
    
Yeah that’s right, back up, you chicken shit. Let your girl lead you away since you’re not man enough to handle it yourself.
    
I cast Craig the dirtiest look I could muster and was glad that only I could hear his thoughts. Brant took another step back as I tried to pull him away from the impending fight. His frosty eyes remained pointed at Craig and his fist clenched at his side. I could feel his muscles twitch beneath my fingertips where I held his arm.
     “Brant, please,” I said and finally I felt his muscles give just a bit and he turned to walk away with me.