In the Life (32 page)

"But when Alonzo is with his mom and you are home alone with Sherrod…"

"I will deal with that later."

"Okay, so he was telling the truth about his mom. What about Tracy?"

"I think he is telling the truth about that too. I mean, think about it. He didn't even know I was in the club so why would he tell me this morning that he saw him? And then, how we saw Tracy slide him free drinks, Alonzo even said that it happened. It's like Alonzo has nothing to hide. He has to be telling the truth."

"Uh huh," Mykel said cynically as he played around with the drinking straw in his now empty glass. "Well, I still don't like him."

"When have you ever?" Jackson questioned. Mykel gave a smirk back. It was true that the two of them weren't exactly friends. They spoke if they saw each other out of common courtesy and that is it.

"So… you never did tell me… was it good?"

"Huh?" Jackson knew to what Mykel was referring to but he played dumb anyway. "What are you talking about?"

"Sherrod! Was it good? I know it was better than Tracy. Anything had to be better than Tracy!"

"I mean, it was aight," Jackson said with a playful smile on his face. Mykel started grinning as well.

"So the rumors are true, huh?" Jackson dramatically exhaled and slumped down in his seat causing Mykel to burst out laughing. "I will take that as a hell yes then."

"You aint never lied." Jackson also started to laugh. For a moment his guilt about the situation was on the backburner. Remembering how good the bedroom action had been was enough to ease Jackson's troubled mind. He thought about the positions, the lip locking, and the climax. It was all so explosive!

"So should I even ask if you are going to do it again with him?"

"I wish I could, but…" The waiter's presence at the table momentarily silenced the conversation. The man removed unneeded dishes and promised to return with drink refills.

"But what," Mykel asked was the waiter was gone. "You enjoyed it, he most likely enjoyed it, and I tell you that Alonzo is up to something. I just know it. I still don't like him even if he is telling the truth for once."

"Lay off of Alonzo. I don't know why you feel the need to demonize him. He ain’t never
do nothing bad to me or to you. He is going through some things right now and Sherrod is one good thing that he has. Alonzo is in love. How heartless would I be to take that away from him?"

"I guess." Mykel leaned back in his chair unhappy with Jackson's response. He did not bother to speak his worries because he knew it was written all over his face.

The two friends parted ways and Jackson went back home. He parked the car, but he did not get out of it. He did not want to go upstairs to his apartment. Maybe a short walk would be good. Jackson lived seconds from the lake which he found himself drawn to. He sat on one of the concrete steps that lead down to the beach area.

Looking out towards the water, he watched the gentle rise and fall of the waves. The water was so blue and seemed to go on forever. Birds circled around close by. It was a very calming scene. Jackson just let his mind wander as he enjoyed the environment. Thoughts of his goals in life and his future became prominent subjects in his mind. What was his next big step? What all did he want accomplished in the next five years? What about in the next ten? These were things that he should have thought about way before then.

Jackson heard footsteps behind him. He turned around to see Sherrod trudging towards him. He was bundled up with a skull cap on his head. Jackson hadn't even thought about the cold while sitting there. He had not even zipped up his coat.

"What are you doing out here?" Sherrod asked.

"Thinking. You?"

"I was getting off the bus to come over and I saw you sitting out here. Well, I couldn't see that it was you, but I saw someone over here. I thought it might be a cool place to chill as well. Maybe do some thinking of my own."

"Oh," Jackson said turning his attention back to the water.

"But since we are both out here alone, I do think that we should talk."

"About?"

Sherrod sat down next to Jackson. His heart was beating kind of fast. He hoped that grabbing Jackson by the hand would help ease the pace.

"I care for Alonzo, but I think that I am falling in love with you."

The words had passed through Sherrod's lips so easily that it almost had the melody of a song. Jackson looked down at Sherrod's hand on top of his and then back at Sherrod. His eyes spoke of nothing but sincerity and adoration. It was enough to make Jackson's heart melt. His body began to feel warm despite the cold winter weather around him. Jackson almost got lost in the moment, but he was able to catch himself. He couldn't do this. He wouldn't let himself do this. After feeling the way he had about initially sleeping with Sherrod behind Alonzo's back, he knew that continuing in some secret torrid affair would make matters even worse.

Now that Sherrod had confessed intense feelings for him, what should Jackson say? He did not want to come off cold or callous. That was not how he was or what he was feeling. He wanted so bad to kiss Sherrod in front of all of Southside Chicago and the seagulls the sailed the skies above. Jackson would have loved to return Sherrod's sentiments, but that would be igniting a fire that would leave them both possibly burned. Instead, he had to say something that wouldn't seem like a complete brush off but wouldn't lead him on either.

"You talked to Alonzo lately?" Jackson regretted his question immediately especially after seeing the confused look on Sherrod's face.

"No," Sherrod responded slowly not understanding the change of subject.

"Well, you need to talk to him. I think that he has something to tell you that will change how you view a few things."

"Like what? When is he supposed to talk to me? What is going on?" Jackson removed himself from his perch on the concrete. He finally zipped up his jacket like he should have done long before and turned to leave.

"When he is ready, he will talk. That's all I can say right now. It is nothing bad. Well, not where you are concerned anyway." He made his first steps to walk away, but Sherrod called after him catching him in mid-stride.

"So what about what I told you? Do you have feelings for me?" Sherrod wore his vulnerability on his sleeve. Jackson couldn't lie to him.

"Yes, I do. But you still need to talk to Alonzo." Jackson walked away and left Sherrod by the lake. He tried not to think about what most be going through Sherrod's head as he was left with only the crashing waves providing solace. In time all things would be clear. Jackson knew that Sherrod would appreciate and understand would all just occurred after talking to Alonzo.

As Jackson rounded the corner towards his apartment building, an unknown number came up on his cell phone. The number was a local number so Jackson figured that it wasn't a bill collector. Those calls, Jackson was avoiding like the plague.

"Hello?"

"Hey sexy. How have you been?"

"Who is this?" Jackson tried to place the voice but he couldn't for the life of him. It was deep and confident.

"I guess I do deserve that. I am sorry that I haven't hit you up in a while, but please forgive me on that. I tried to call you before but I could never get you. I figured that you weren’t feeling me no more."

"Tracy?" Jackson said the name softly in fear that he would be wrong.

"Well at least you haven't forgotten me completely. I should be grateful of that, I guess. So what have you been up to?"

"Nothing. Working." Jackson did not know how to feel about this phone call. He had stopped caring if Tracy would call long ago. He had gotten over the feeling of being a bust down for Tracy the moment he felt Sherrod enter him. Now here he was calling with an apology and an explanation. Was it sincere? Should Jackson give a damn? Was it all a ploy to enable Tracy another chance at a sexual encounter?

"I feel you on that one. You gotta make that money."

"Yep," Jackson said not really in the mood to make conversation. He was not against talking to Tracy, but he wasn't exactly elated either.

"Yo, the reason that I was calling you was I have these tickets for a comedy show tonight. I know that it is short notice, but I just heard about it today myself. Anyway, I wanted to know if you wanted to go with me. Maybe we could grab a bite to eat afterwards. It could be like the first date that we should have initially had."

"Oh, you didn't like our date?" Jackson asked as he entered his apartment. He could hear Alonzo in his room on the phone. He couldn't understand what the topic or tone of the conversation was about, but he knew that Alonzo was home.

"Now don't get me wrong. I am not a person that always has to go out or anything. That was cool and everything, but we didn't really get the chance to get to know one another. You feel me?" Jackson wanted to reply with some smart quip about not being able to feel shit because it had been so small, but he was going to be nice.

"I don't know, man." He immediately started to think of good reasons why he couldn't go.

"Come on, dude," Tracy pleaded over the phone. Alonzo made an entrance into the room. He was still on the phone, but he was hanging up. With a quick greeting, Alonzo passed Jackson and walked towards the door and opened it. Sherrod was on the other side lowering his cell phone away from his ear. Jackson didn't know who had called who, but he knew that talk was about to happen.

"You know what? Sure. I will call you later and we will set things up."

"Great!" Jackson could imagine Tracy smiling brightly on the other end.

"See you later then." Jackson watched as Sherrod followed Alonzo back to his room.

Sherrod and Jackson exchanged quick glances. Jackson would be there after they finished. Sherrod would soon get it. But afterwards, Jackson had a date. Sure, he was only using Tracy just to get out of the house and get the free drinks, meal, and show that would come out of the date. It wasn't like Tracy had not made him feel used either directly or indirectly. All Jackson knew was that he needed that night to help him get his mind of everything. A comedy show would be a great distraction to forget the current drama.

Chapter 18

"So explain this whole thing to me one more time as if I was a three year old," Mykel said during a phone conversation with Jackson. "You are going out with Tracy why again?"

"I think that it could really help me take my mind off of things." Jackson laid some clothes out on the bed as he talked. He was trying to figure out what he was going to wear to the comedy show. He had an idea of what look he wanted to go for, but creating it was becoming a chore.

"I don't understand. Sherrod is in the other room with your sorry ass roommate when he should be with you. And here you about to go out with baby dick."

"Sherrod is taken. I am not going to break them up and he about to be my roommate which complicates things even more."

"Oooh, oooh!" Mykel exclaimed excitedly.

"What are you oohing about?"

"I know what you are trying to do, you sly devil! You are good. You are real good! Finally, it makes sense to me now." Jackson stopped sifting through clothes and sat on the bed.

"What makes sense, negro?"

"I know what this is all about. Yeah, I know. You having Tracy come and pick you up for this date knowing damn well that Sherrod is still going to be there and they don't get along in the first place. They both want you so there is sure to be some kind of altercation. They get into it and Alonzo is gonna be right there to see the show. In a jealous rage, Sherrod is gonna tell Tracy to back off because you belong to only him. Alonzo is gonna be so stunned. I can see his face now. And then by story's end, Alonzo breaks up with Sherrod because he knows he can't compete with you and then you will have him all to yourself. Alonzo will completely move all his shit out and then it will be just the two of you in that little love nest you call an apartment."