In the Clear (13 page)

Chapter Twelve

It was a good thing Fletcher’s kitchen was so well-stocked, because there was no way Lexie could have done much more than pour a bag of chips in a bowl and open a jar of salsa. Her legs barely worked, her hands wouldn’t stop shaking, and she stopped every five seconds or so to replay scenes of Fletcher ramming her against the shower wall. After which time her legs only got weaker and the warm liquidity between her legs started up all over again.

Holy monkey balls, Fletcher had been good at that.

If she’d ever allowed herself to imagine what Fletcher was like in bed before, it had only been fleeting, half-formed images that took on a decidedly pinkish hue. He’d always existed in her head as the sort to spend hours with foreplay, cautiously exploring a woman’s body in hopes of finding the perfect combination of actions to enhance pleasure. For all she’d known, he jotted down notes as he went, written in his painstakingly neat hand and typed up later for posterity.

Her hands shook harder as she placed the food on the table and began boiling water for hot chocolate. Whatever had possessed Fletcher in the shower, it wasn’t something textbook or clean. It wasn’t something
safe.
They’d taken no precautions, hadn’t given a thought to protection. That sex had been impulsive and angry and so incredibly
hot
Lexie needed to sit down for a minute.

“Kettle’s boiling.” Fletcher came to stand in the kitchen doorway, looking about as relaxed as she felt—which was to say, not at all. He was also still damp from the shower, his hair hanging in one eye, a snug T-shirt highlighting the lean torso that was strong enough to perform heroic feats and amazing sex acts all within the same day.

“I was making us hot chocolate,” she offered, but didn’t get up to attend to the screaming appliance.

“Let me.” Fletcher didn’t wait for a reply, simply moved into the kitchen at his regular pace, gathering the mugs and spoons and showing Lexie his backside as he worked. Now that she’d seen it firsthand, felt the muscles clench and unclench as he plowed mercilessly into her, that backside took on a new and toe-tingling meaning. That backside admitted to loving her. That backside also seemed to hate her right now.

She was still struggling to tear her gaze from Fletcher’s ass, rapt in her contemplation of its various merits, when her cell phone rang. “Oh, shoot,” she muttered, searching for it in the pocket of her coat, which she’d hung over the back of one of the kitchen chairs in her haste to follow Fletcher. She still wasn’t sure what had possessed her to go into his bathroom and confront him like that, but at the time, she’d been imagining him crying into the shower curtain or slitting his wrists in the tub. Not . . . jacking off. Not that fierce, almost painful movement of his hand over his gloriously straight cock. As though touching himself was a curse. As if by trying hard enough, he could pump her out of his system.

“I’m guessing it’s either Sean or my parents,” she apologized, finally hitting the pink plastic phone cover. “They’re probably frantic with worry.”

Fletcher turned sharply. “You didn’t tell them where you were?”

“How could I?” Sean’s number popped up on the screen. “I didn’t get cell reception up on the mountain.”

Before Fletcher could chastise her for being thoughtless, she clicked the answer button and forced a bright, cheerful note into her voice. “Hey, Sean. What’s up?”

“What’s up? You’re asking me what’s up right now? Where the hell are you?”

A surge of annoyance rose up in her throat. Yes, it had been thoughtless of her not to find a way to contact her family. It was six o’clock on Christmas Eve, a time they normally all sat around the fire, dressed up in the ugliest holiday sweaters they could find and growing tipsy on eggnog. But he didn’t even wait for her explanation before he started yelling.

“Calm down,” she said, in what she hoped was a soothing tone but probably sounded more like she wanted to snap his nose off. Which she
did.
“I’m at Fletcher’s.”

“Fletcher’s? You’re at Fletcher’s?”

“Are you just going to repeat everything I say in that incredulous voice?”

“You’re lucky that’s all I’m doing. Mom and Dad are worried sick . . . ” His voice trailed off, and she could hear the low murmur of their parents’ voices in the background. “Well, you should be worried sick. I know she’s a grown woman, but she can’t just . . . ” There was a little more murmuring before he directed his conversation back to her. “Mom and Dad say to bring Fletcher along when you come. They say to promise we’re not having turkey tomorrow, if that helps. How come everybody knows about this turkey thing except me?”

Lexie couldn’t help but laugh. See? Sean didn’t know everything about Fletcher. He didn’t have sole rights to a relationship with him.

She glanced across the kitchen to where the man in question stood. He’d turned to watch her conversation, the quiet look on his face reminding her that there was every possibility he’d never want to cross her family’s threshold again. If he thought for one second that she was only reacting to him because of the intensity of the past thirty-six hours, or that her feelings sprang from his hero status rather than the incredible, staunchly loyal man who resided under the surface, she knew he’d never let her get that close again.

That serious face. The firm lines of his stance. The bleakness in his eyes that seemed only to soften as he looked at her, not blinking, not judging. Just waiting.

Lexie bit back a sob.

She wanted to get that close. She wanted to get so close he couldn’t ever hide himself away again.

Without tearing herself away from his gaze, which locked her in place, she did her best to manage her brother. “Tell Mom and Dad we’ll be there first thing in the morning. And no opening presents until we arrive. Not even stockings.”

Sean’s sudden silence was trumped only by the angry outburst that followed. “Goddammit, Lexie—tell me you’re only there for a chat and that you’re headed straight home. You better not be taking advantage of him. You better not be over there breaking his heart.”

“I’m not,” she cried, unable to suppress her outrage in the face of such an accusation. She did a lot of things she wasn’t proud of, but she’d
never
break Fletcher’s heart on purpose. Not while she had breath left in her. “I was out helping him with a rescue and we just got back and we’re tired and hungry and you have no right to yell at me. He’s my friend, too. I love him just as much as you do.”

Fletcher gave a queer start at the sound of the l-word, but she refused to back down now that it was out there. Maybe it wasn’t quite the kind of love a man and a woman could build a life on, but it was close. And if Fletcher gave her a chance, she was sure they could get there. She couldn’t imagine getting there with anyone else.

“I love him as a friend and a lover and maybe even more,” she repeated, her words gaining momentum, though she found it difficult to maintain eye contact with Fletcher at that middle part. “And I’m sorry if you don’t like it, but you’re going to have to learn to share. I helped save a woman’s life today, Sean—did you know that? Me. Little Lexie, always in the way. And you know how I did it without screwing up? By being me. By knowing that Fletcher believed in me enough to let me try.”

She could have kept going for hours, screaming at Sean until he was stunned into silence for once in his smug, twin brother life, but Fletcher took two steps forward and gently lifted the phone from her hand. She didn’t even have an opportunity to take offense at it, because he used his free hand to pull her tightly against his chest.

It felt good there. Warm and solid and so comfortable she wondered how she’d been able to go twenty-six years without it.

“Hey, Sean,” she heard Fletcher say. There was wariness in his tone, but there was also something more. Determination. “I’m sorry we worried you, but we didn’t have great cell phone reception at the rescue site and it was kind of an urgent case. Apologize to your parents for me, will you?”

She thought that was it, that he wasn’t going to say anything more, but as he’d been doing continually for the past few days, Fletcher surprised her.

“And I’m sorry if you don’t like the idea of me and Lexie being together, but she’s a grown woman capable of making her own choices. And I’m a grown man capable of handling them. Whatever we decide to do is between us and always will be. I hope you can accept that.”

Lexie buried her face more firmly in Fletcher’s chest, suddenly realizing that she was nestled right up next to one of those tiny man nipples that seemed to form her every waking thought. Unable to help herself, she opened her mouth and bit down on the little protrusion of flesh—gently and through the fabric, just enough to give Fletcher a jolt.

He jumped but didn’t pull away. If anything, his hold on her tightened. She wriggled closer, wrapping her own arms around his waist and gripping for dear life.

“I know,” Fletcher said, still talking to Sean, though he paused long enough to drop a kiss to Lexie’s hairline. Emboldened, she slipped a hand under his shirt, moving upward along soft fabric and warm flesh. “But if you look outside, you’ll see it’s snowing again. My SAR team told me there’s going to be a big winter advisory out soon. We’re better off waiting until daylight to see if the roads clear.”

Lexie gasped—a sound only partially made because of Fletcher’s bald-faced lie. Most of it came from the fact that she had both arms under his shirt now, and the hard ridge of his erection was making itself known against her. In addition to ferocity, he had quite a bit of stamina in the sex department, too. Who knew?

“Yeah. We’ll call tomorrow before we head out.” Fletcher paused. “And don’t worry. I’ll keep her safe.”

He chucked the phone aside, his glance pained. “Lexie, what are you trying to do to me?”

She frowned. “I thought you liked it.”

“I do like it. I love it.” He groaned and raked a hand through his hair. “But I’m not . . . I can’t . . . ”

He
was
and he
could.
And she’d wait as long as it took for him to realize that.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” he asked, mere seconds later. Maybe it wouldn’t take him as long as she thought. “About loving me?”

“I did,” she said, more serious than she’d ever been in her life. She knew that her future—that their future together—hinged on her ability to get this part right. But she also knew that if she pulled a Lexie and screwed it up, the first person to come to her defense would be the one staring tenderly down at her. “I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier, but I was just so shocked. Not because of the picture in the compass or because that was how I had to find out how you felt about me, but because I think that was the moment I finally realized I felt the exact same way.”

She lifted a hand to cup his cheek. He felt scratchy and chiseled and very much like home. “You’re
Fletcher.
It took me a little by surprise, that’s all.”

He turned his face so that his lips hit her palm. The kiss he pressed there was soft and warm, promising more to come. “So what happens now?”

“I don’t know,” she said, a hitch to her breath. “Does it really matter?”

“It matters.” He took a moment to drop his lips to the outside of her eye, a soft, melting pressure that had her weak in the knees. “I’ve spent most of my life wanting to kiss you right there. To kiss you whenever I feel like it. To wrap my arms around you and tell you how I feel just because you’re you. Now that I’ve done that, I’m not sure what comes next.”

“That’s the best part.” Lexie did her own kissing this time, fisting the back of his hair and forcing him to stay in place until she got full tongue action and the press of his hips urging her firmly against the kitchen table. Maybe the sex would never be as impulsive and angry as it had been in the shower, but if the depth of his kiss was any indication, the hot part was guaranteed. “None of us know what happens next. Maybe Sean will say something snotty and you’ll punch him in the face.”

“Errr . . . I doubt it.”

“Maybe my dad will ask you about your intentions and punch
you
in the face.”

“Your love of violence is kind of scaring me right now.”

She just laughed and kissed him again. This time, he got as far as pinning her on the table, her shirt twisted around her neck and a particularly delicious love bite on her lower belly.

She stopped him long enough to finish what she wanted to say. “Maybe you’ll be called up for a search tomorrow and will miss Christmas with my family, or maybe you’ll get fired from the car lot and won’t get any more discounts, or maybe Mr. Barnes will give you a big enough donation that you can quit in a blaze of glory and rescue full time. It doesn’t matter.”

“Actually, that reminds me. There
is
something I’ve been meaning to do.”

“And the answer isn’t me?”

He laughed. “Not this time. Wait here.”

She watched, still spread out on the table, as he retreated into the hallway. He found what he was looking for quickly, and when he re-entered the room, he held a piece of paper, his face flush.

“Are those more secret internet photos?” she asked, propping herself up on one elbow. “Naked ones?”

He didn’t answer, just held out the paper. “It’s for the EMT program. I think I’m finally ready to apply.”

Lexie squealed and, yes, even hopped a little, wrapping her arms around him and crinkling the paper in the process. “Are you serious? That’s fantastic. I can’t imagine a better man to turn to in an emergency. You’re calm and efficient. You know how to take care of people. You’re the Cucumber.”

“I really hate that nickname.”

“I don’t know . . . I think it’s pretty apt.” She grinned and ran her fingers lightly over the anatomy in question, thrilled not just at the novelty of it, but at how right he felt in her hands. “And I’ll help you study. I’m the perfect girlfriend for this sort of thing. I promise to incur as many head injuries as you need to graduate.”

When he didn’t respond right away, she hooked her fingers in his belt loop and rushed on. “And no matter what happens, you’ll always have me and Sean for support. That’s what you said about facing your fears, right? You just need a team you can count on? You need to know that we’ll have your back, no matter what happens?”