In Search of Grace (34 page)

             
Sensing her
hesitation
, he took her hand and led her to the porch.  They both sat down before he
continued. 
“Look, sometimes
all we need is a bit of empowerment.  I know that you have gone through a lot
,
but you are the only one that is going to be able to move forward.   I just want to give you some tools to help you on your journey
.
”

             
Alex was touched at the sincerity in his voice, and realiz
ed
that he must have been thinking about he
r a lot to come up with this. Why not?
she thought to herself.
If nothing
else
,
it would be great exercise.

             
“
Um
,
  I guess
.
”

             
“Great!”  

             
“
Seth
?
”

             
“Yes
,
Alex
.
”

             
“I missed you,” she stammered out the words shyly.  Reaching over to her,
,
he cupped
her face with his hands.  “I missed
y
ou too
,
Alex
,
m
ore than you will ever
know
.  You kinda grew on me.”

             
“
Like
a fungus?”

             
Seth
laughed out loud
.

             
Alex
liked
this banter back and fourth. 
Taking
a deep
breath,
she decided to be honest.

             
“You scare me...”
she whispere
d
staring down at her hands
.

             
This time it was his turn to hesitate. 

             
“How
,
Alex?
How do I scare you?”

             
“I have learned very quickly in life that good things don’t last very long, I want you to last.”

             
Before he could respond and she lost her courage, she quickly continued.  “
I like the way you make me feel
…..”

             
Seth felt a rush
go
through his body at her words
,
and it was his turn to be surprised at her honesty.  Knowing this was another big step for her, he hoped she would continue
,
but she bec
a
me silent.

             
“
I promise
you
this
,
w
e will work on us
after we work on
you
.
And
,
Alex
, I
like the way
you make me feel
also
.”

             
Alex could feel her face starting to burn
.

             
“
Promise?  Because
I want to
believe
you
,
Seth!
” 

             
“I know
,
rabbit. I want you to
believe
me also.  It will happen
.
” Staring
into each
other’s
eyes
,
she felt the need to be alone again.  Sensing her
distance,
he turned her around and push
ed her back through the gate. 
“I need to
get ready for work.
I will
call
you later.”

             
Seth was glad she came to him.  It was a gamble
for him, letting her go and be alone.  It seemed the gamble had paid off
,
even though it practically
killed him inside when she
would not
take his calls or return them.  Alex made him feel things he had never
quite
felt to the extent when he was with her.   

             
Seth smiled as he headed b
ack to work on the back yard. 
His eyes survey
ed
the grounds with pleasure.  He had accomplished a lot since moving in
,
t
he serene and peaceful waters, plants and
now the
trees.   Bending down
,
he picked up the young tree and gently placed it into the large hole he had dug.  Placing it in the ground, he felt it symbolized where he was at; new life for his new home and new hope for
his relationship with Alex
.  The world seemed right again.

             
Twenty-four hours later,
Alex
sat writing.   She had woken up early after having one of the first restful nights in a very long time.  Deciding to get caught up on her work, she was fully ensconced in her story when she heard someone knocking on the back door.

             
“Alex, come on!
Open the door
!”

             
Hearing S
eth’s voice, she jumped
up from the chair
,
staring at the laptop longingly
while walking
to the door
.
 

             
“Seth, what the heck
?  I am working.
”

             
“
T
ime to start your training.”

             
Alex groaned
.  “Now?!!
 
I am in the middle of something.
”

             
“Change your clothes, you need to be comfortable.”

             
Giving him a cheeky grin, she winked at him.  “Wanna come and help me?”

             
Seth laughe
d.  “No, I think you can manage
. M
eet me in the backyard.  I will give you five minutes and if you are not outside, I am coming in after you.
”

             
“Hmmm, is that a threat or a promise?”

             
Seth looked at her and scowled.  “You certainly are in
a good mood this morning…lets
see how long that last
,
shall we?”  Turning he walked back outside
,
and Alex went to go change her clothes.

             
When she was
dressed, she walked
over to his
back
yard
. 
Stepping through the
gate,
she looked around surprised. 
He had completely transformed a section of
his
lawn.  There were
a number of
mats placed
together
to form a makeshift floor.
 
Seth was standing in the center
w
aving
her on.
 

             
“Take your shoes off
,
Alex
, y
ou won’t need them.” 
R
emov
ing
her
sneakers,
she walked b
arefoot
up to him.
 
He studied her expression as she cocked her head to one side
, curious
as to what they were about to do.

             
“It is not about the fight
,
Alex,
“
h
e tapped him
self on the head then continued “it’
s all about
what is in
here.”

             
Alex smiled…..”You sound so tough
, b
ut you look
really
hot
to me right now.
”

             
A look of irritation crossed Seth’s face.  “This is serious
.
When you are in a fight, you must concentrate.  One slip or negative thought
,
and you will lose.
  When a person
gets attacked
, and it doesn’t matter if it is a man or a woman, their biggest problem is not the assailant but the fear that is in them.  The fear will be there, there is nothing you can do about that.  It is how you control the fear that is what will either save you or
not.
”

             
Alex
swallowed
and then
nodded.

             
“
No matter what happens or
the
situation you may find yourself in
,
y
ou
must never stop fighting.  There will always be a way to get out, but you must have the patience and be clear
headed enough
to work it out.  Understand?”
 

             
Alex was barley able to nod her head when without
warning Seth
ran at her and threw her to the ground.  All the air left her lungs an
d she was gasping for breath. 
An
overwhelming
feeling of
deja vu
crossed her mind
,
and she felt herself back in the woods and
her body
froze.

             
“
Fight
me
,
Alex
!
”  She heard Seth’s voice as if from far off. 
Her breath seemed locked in her lungs
causing her to feel light headed.

             
“Come on…you can do it.  Find my voice
,
Alex.”  Finally
,
his voice forced
its
way through the web of terror in her mind.
Struggling she tried to strike at him, but he
pinned her arm to the ground.
She continued to struggle
,
and in a panic realized that he
was not
going to let her go
. 

             
After five minutes of
twisting
and
squirming, h
er body
was soaked
in sweat
.  “Twist your wrist down and under.  When you are free grab my pinky, fold it down, and push on it.” 

             
“Really?  The one that you have tightly in
your
grip?” 

             
Seth ignored Alex’s sarcasm and waited.  Twisting her wrist quickly down
,
she felt a small tiny release
from his grip
, then did as he said,
turned
her wrist back and under.
  Immediately she was free
.  I
nstead of trying to get away, she grabbed for his hand, found his pinky
,
then
pushed.  Alex was amazed
to see that she was not only free, but
with his simple instructions
,
was
actually hurting him with alm
ost little effort on her part.
“ALEX!!” There was
real
pain
in his voice
,
and once that sunk in
her
head,
she
immediately
let go of him.

             
“
H
ow did I do that
?
”
She
whispered
in awe.

             
“There are certain spots on a person
that is
excruciating
if you do it right
,
Alex.  That is what I want to teach you.
Sometimes, what people do not realize is that running should not always be your first option
, e
specially if there is no way you are going to su
ccessfully get away.  Sometimes
it is best if you stay, debilitate them
,
and then run.  That will give you
extra
time
.
”