Impulsive (7 page)

“Luke. Stop it.” She tore away from him, her words ripping him from near bliss.
 

“What? Did I hurt you?” He shoved his hands through his hair, trying to gather his scattered thoughts.
 

“I can’t do this,” she said and fled.

Chapter 9

The expression in Tasha’s hazel eyes gutted Luke. Regret? Anger? What was the other, intangible thing in her gaze? Most of the time, he read her thoughts with uncanny accuracy, but tonight, he had no frigging clue. She spun and left him standing alone on the rooftop, mired in confusion. He scratched his chin and cursed his stupidity. She obviously wasn’t in the same place he was. He wanted more. And she wanted friendship.
 

“Tasha, wait up.”

The sight of her backside slipping from sight spurred him into action. He wasn’t quite sure what he’d done, but knew he needed to make things right with her. The thought of anything standing between them made his chest ache. He took the stairs two at a time, hoping to cut her off at the elevator. By the time he reached her floor, she was unlocking her door.
 

She hurried into the apartment, tossed the wet towel into the utility room, and toed off her shoes with a puzzling air of calm. When she headed into the bathroom, he followed her, bumping into her as she turned to close the door behind her.

“Excuse me?” One of her elegant eyebrows arched at his impudence. She knew how to put him in his place with a look, in a way no one except his mother could do.
 

“We need to talk,” he said, uncertain exactly what they would talk about, but convinced some words needed to be spoken.

“Well, duh, hot shot,” she said. The adorable furrow between her brows begged to be touched and smoothed by his fingertips. “I get it. But we sure as hell aren’t going to talk about it in here.”

“Right. Um, I’ll give you a minute.” Feeling like a complete and utter ass, he backed out of the bathroom and flopped onto the sofa. The door banged shut behind him. With his heart pinging against his ribs, he turned on the TV and flipped through the channels while his mind tried to analyze the sound of the bang. Was that an angry
you’re-such-a-douchebag
kind of bang or more of an
oh-my-God-I-wish-he’d-just-leave
kind of bang?

Whether she liked it or not, they were going to hash out whatever was going on between them. This constant back and forth had to end one way or another. He hoped she felt the same way he did, but he began to steel his heart for disappointment.
 

Ten minutes passed, then twenty. He knocked on the door once more and prepared himself for whatever came next.

 
“Just a second,” Tasha called out. It wasn’t like her to avoid confrontation, but the scene with her mother had stirred up all of her emotions, and she needed a minute to pull herself together. She braced a hand on either side of the sink and drew in a few deep breaths to slow her racing heart.
 

He’d never kissed her before, and she’d been caught unprepared. It had been easier to disassociate her emotions from him when it was just sex. She brushed shaking fingertips over her swollen lips, reliving the feel of his mouth on hers. Those few, interminable seconds had unleashed a tangled knot of feelings, both frightening and exciting. That kiss, that one act, had changed everything, and she had no idea how to deal with it.
 

Shit, shit, shit.
 

The room seemed too small. The walls closed in around her, the air thick with her discontent. She shoved a hand through her hair and wiped the smudges from beneath her eyes. This couldn’t happen. Whatever this was had to stop. She didn’t want to end up like her parents. Sooner or later, Luke would find a nice, sweet girl and leave her out in the cold. She’d go back to random one-night stands. Life would go on, but she’d be without her best friend. A future without him seemed inconceivable.
 

She opened the bathroom door and gave Luke a weak smile.
 

“We need to talk about this,” he said. “About us. About what’s going on here.”

“I know,” she replied.
 

They stared at each other in silence. She crossed her arms over her chest to contain her skittering heart. This was it. Things were going to be said, things that might change their relationship forever, things that would hurt them both.
 

“You shouldn’t have kissed me.”

“Why?” he asked in a thick voice. “Explain it to me, because I just don’t get it.”

“Because we’re friends. Because this isn’t going to end well. I’m not the girl for you, Luke. You’re not just a friend, you’re my best friend. I can’t imagine my life without you, but I look at my parents…” The words caught in her throat. “They hate each other. My sisters hate their husbands. I couldn’t bear for us to be like that.” What she really wanted was to tell him how much he meant to her, how every minute away from him seemed like an eternity.
 

“That is such bullshit,” he said. The quiet tone of his voice held a subtext of anger. “We are not your parents. I am not your dad. Things don’t have to go that way for us.”

“You say that now when everything is shiny and new, but what about later?” She waved a hand between them. “I mean, look at us. Look at me.” To press her point, she yanked her tank top over her head, exposing her breasts, the chain, and the colorful tattoos covering her torso and arms. “Are you going to take me to your corporate picnics or your family reunions? I’m the girl your mother warned you about. I’m not sweet or wholesome like your girlfriends. I’m dark and edgy, while you’re…” She paused, searching for the right words. “You’re vanilla.”

“If that’s what you think, then you don’t know me at all,” he said.
 

The blackness of his eyes frightened her a little. There was nothing fun or flirty about him now. The expanse of his chest rose and fell with a deep breath. Before she could draw her own, he crossed the floor and pressed her against the wall, pinning her hands above her head. A shudder ran through her as his free hand stole up her ribs to cup a breast and thumb the nipple. When his mouth came down over hers, it was with possession and heat. Their tongues mashed and teeth collided. Her body melted into his, and she met him with equal intensity, giving him everything.

All too soon, he pulled back and released her. He looked away, unable to meet her eyes. A painful lump formed in her throat. Why did he have to push things this far? Why couldn’t he leave things alone?

“I ache with wanting you,” he said in a raw whisper.
 

Her guts twisted in agony. The situation was racing away, out of control like a runaway train, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. All she’d wanted was to prevent this from happening. And now, she was living her own nightmare. His confession trapped her between reason and passion. Reason never failed her. Passion never lasted. The answer stared her down.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want this. Tell me you don’t have any feelings for me, and I’ll walk away.” The muscle ticking in his jaw said otherwise. “We’ll go back to being friends.”

“I don’t want this,” she said. Nothing could be further from the truth. Once the words came out of her mouth, reality settled down on her like an oppressive weight. This was huge. Her heart swelled until her ribs ached and tears stung behind her lids.
 

He recoiled like she’d struck him. Hurt flashed through his eyes, and it shredded her soul to see it.
 

“I want to be friends. Friends last forever.”

“Right.”

The distance between them increased as he backed away from her. He wasn’t even gone, and she already felt the loss of him. It took all of her self-control to keep from flinging herself at him and begging for forgiveness. Instead, she retrieved her courage and looked him straight in the eyes. His ego might be bruised tonight, but ten years from now, he’d thank her for being the sensible one.

 
“You’ll see I’m right,” she said, forcing a tight smile. “When you’re hanging out with your wife and kids in the suburbs someday and I’m the crazy old maid who comes to visit, we’ll both laugh about this.”
 

He snorted and shook his head, avoiding her eyes. She wanted desperately to see into them, to reassure herself the two of them were alright, but he turned and headed toward the front door. She stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Luke, wait. You don’t have to go.” The expression on his face when he turned to look at her brought a fresh sting of tears to her eyes, knowing she’d put it there. “Please tell me we haven’t fucked things up.”

He blew out a heavy sigh and shoved a hand through his hair.
 
“It’s okay. We’ll be fine. I just…I just can’t be around you right now.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, though. Right?”

“I don’t know,” he said, his voice rough.

The door slammed behind him and between them. She was buried deep beneath the covers of her bed before the tears returned.
 

The ache in Luke’s chest threatened to submerge him like a rogue wave, but he knew if he gave into it, he’d drown. From the very start, he’d realized things could end up this way, but he’d been willing to take the risk. Once rejection eased, anger swept in to replace it. He was angry with her for being stubborn and shortsighted. Most of all, he was angry with himself for overestimating her feelings for him. How could he be so incredibly stupid? Their friendship was at risk, and he had no one to blame but himself.

He scrubbed a hand over his face. They would be alright. He’d make sure of it. But between now and then, he needed to find a way to ease the sting. Felony Bar was still open. He could drop in and drink himself into oblivion, but he quickly rejected the idea. Sitting around with Jack and Ally, watching their romantic bliss unfold, was more than his wounded heart could bear.

He was halfway home when he spied a new text on his cell from Elijah Crowe. The others had gone unanswered, but this one came at just the right time. He pulled the car to the curb and tapped on the message.
 

Dude. I’m in town. Come see me.

Those three little words held a million different meanings.
Come see me.
He stared at the phone and drew in a few breaths as he debated his options. A smart man would take his wounded ass home, drink a few beers, and get up tomorrow with a better outlook. Or a hangover, depending on how low he sank between now and then. Anything sounded better than sitting alone in his apartment.

The stoplight at the next intersection changed colors three times before he made his decision.

Chapter 10

The black stretch-limousine glided away from the curb in front of Tasha’s apartment. Luke slid down the long seat to make a place for her. She hadn’t seen him since the night of the pool. His grin lit up the darkness. Happiness surged through her.
 

“You look good enough to eat,” he said. The blatant approval in his eyes sent heat into her cheeks.
 

In honor of the night, she’d worn her favorite black sequined mini-skirt and an asymmetrical white halter top with a black-and-white print of Marilyn Monroe’s face splashed across the front. Thigh-high fishnets and black boots with four-inch heels and pointed toes completed the look. It was conservative compared to her usual eclectic style but still sexy.
 

“Thanks. So do you,” she said. He looked delectable in a blue Henley shirt. The short sleeves showed off the veins on his biceps and forearms, the favorite parts of his body. How had he managed to grow better looking in only a week? Was it even possible? Her heart hammered against her ribs.
 

“You changed your hair.” Luke tugged on a loose tendril of hair spiraling from behind her ear. At his touch, her body thrummed with sexual chemistry. “I like it.”

“Thanks.” On impulse, she’d changed her pink locks to platinum, a two-hour process, but well worth Luke’s words of praise.
 

The week without him had been painful. A dozen times a day, she’d reached for the phone to share a funny thought or incident but stopped herself. The distance between them had been her idea, and she’d vowed to honor it. He’d reach out to her when he was ready.

With each passing day, a new butterfly had unfurled in her belly, knowing they’d be together for the concert. She’d found herself thinking about what to wear and what they would talk about. Now, sitting across from him, the words tangled on her tongue in an uncharacteristic bout of shyness.

Their eyes remained locked. The walls of her throat tightened. His eyes were so deep and dark she might fall into them if she leaned forward too far. An ache began growing between her legs. Someone cleared his throat, reminding her they weren’t alone.

“When are you going to tell me what’s going on? I know you’re cooking up something. I can smell it.” Ally addressed the group at large, green eyes narrowed in speculation at Jack. He studied Ally with somber eyes, all smoldering bad-boy intensity laced with self-deprecating humor. “You know I hate surprises, Jack.”

“You’re going to love this one. Quit your bitching,” Karly said, her tone full of loving humor for her best friend. “Trust me when I say your boyfriend is awesome.” Randy cleared his throat. “You’re awesome too, baby,” she said and quickly patted his leg. “The best.”

“Great. Everyone knows but me?” An exasperated sigh ruffled the silky blond hair over Ally’s brow.
 

“Don’t look at me,” Tasha said. “I have no idea.” If something was brewing, no one had bothered to clue her in.
 

Ally crossed her arms and sat back against the plush leather seat. Her cool frown was the perfect foil for Jack’s steaming hotness.
 

“Patience.” Jack patted her leg, a smile curling his mouth. “We need to stop and pick up Luke’s date, and then we’ll be on our way.”

Luke’s date? It took all of Tasha’s control to keep her broad smile from slipping. Two words sent her fantastic evening into the toilet. She cast a covert glance at him. One of his eyebrows lifted. She winked at him, determined to keep up the charade of indifference, no matter the personal cost.