I turned and shut the door on the gaping principal and followed Callie out the parking lot. When we got to her car, she turned to me.
“See you at home, I guess,” she said.
“Callie?” I pulled her close and she didn’t respond at first, probably because she was so shocked. “I’m so proud of you,” I said over her shoulder. “I’m so proud of you that I’m going to stop at the store on the way home.”
She pulled back.
“Why?”
“Because,” I told her. “I’m going to bake you a cake.”
“You suck at baking,” she said.
This was true.
“Okay,” I said. “So I’m going to buy you a cake.”
“Cool.”
“See you at home,” I told her as she got in her car. She nodded and drove away as I walked to my car. Callie and I might just get along after all.
“You did what?” Dean asked, piling a forkful of cake into his mouth. “I see why she bought you a cake.”
He fist-bumped Callie and gestured at me.
“Why does Callie get a long weekend?” Chase asked.
“Because,” I said, ruffling his hair. “She stood up for someone who was being bullied, and her teachers didn’t understand what happened.”
Chase looked confused, but complacently went back to his cake.
Emma had it smeared all over her face, and Callie was doing her best to clean it off while she continued to try to eat.
“When do you go back to school, Dean?” I asked, trying to be nonchalant.
“The sixteenth. Why?”
I shrugged. “Just wondering. I’m supposed to go back on the nineteenth.”
He stopped eating and looked at me intensely.
“What?” I asked, feeling uncomfortable.
“Well, are you?” he asked. “Going back?”
I sighed.
“I don’t know.”
He pushed his chair back from the table, grabbed his plate and Chase’s empty one, washed them, and put them in the dishwasher. Then he grabbed his jacket and said a curt goodbye as he walked out the door.
“Did anyone else think that was weird?”
Callie shrugged.
“He’s kind of moody.”
“Yeah, I noticed.”
I’D PUT EMMA to bed just as my phone rang. I shut her door as quietly as I could and ran to silence it so it wouldn’t wake her.
“Hello?”
“Guess what?” Kenzie asked.
“Hello to you too,” I said. Then, “What?”
“We’re going to a party tonight!”
“Kenzie,” I whispered. “It’s a school night.”
“Oh come on,” she said, “Don’t be boring. It’s not a school night for you. Plus, I heard our girl got suspended so she can totally watch the kids since she doesn’t have to go to school either.”
“Wait, how did you find that out?”
“Dean, silly. Who else?” she said quickly. “Anyway, Luke will be there to pick you up at ten. See you then!”
She hung up, and I stared at the phone. I guess it would be nice to meet more people here if I was considering transferring, but I hated unplanned parties. I also didn’t have too many clothing options, so jeans and a top would have to do. I paid Callie and asked her to babysit for a few hours while I was gone. She was parked in front of the TV watching a John Hughes marathon, so I figured I would be safe to leave them.
Right on cue, Luke came up to the door to get me. We still had to go and get Kenzie, who was still getting ready. When she saw me in the front seat she screeched.
“You came!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around me. I could tell she was already buzzed.
“I came,” I said flatly as I moved to the back seat. “Kenzie, why are you so tan?” It looked as if she was several shades darker than usual.
“It might snow!” she said, and then turned to kiss Luke’s cheek.
“What?” I asked. That made no sense. This was the second snow reference that I didn’t get.
“I’m so excited,” Kenzie said, ignoring my question. “This is going to be so fun!” She turned around in her seat and eyed my outfit. “And you just wait until Dean sees you.”
I didn’t know whether my heart jumped or fell.
“Dean is going to be there?”
“Well duh, silly! He’s like the coolest person ever!”
I sighed and twisted the hem of my shirt.
When we got there, Luke parked and Kenzie and I walked in arm in arm. Immediately, she saw someone she recognized and detached herself, leaving me completely alone. The house was huge. There were people everywhere, and there was barely a surface that wasn’t covered in red cups and alcohol.
I couldn’t do this.
I was about to walk out when Kenzie grabbed my hand and shoved a shot glass toward me.
“Come on, Lauren! Do one with me!”
“Alright,” I told her, trying to convince myself to have fun. “Just one.”
We clinked glasses and I gulped it down.
Kenzie chased hers.
“I’m all out,” the guy who poured her glass of soda told me.
I shook my head.
“I’m fine.”
He nodded like he was impressed and walked away.
I leaned up against one of the counters and looked around.
“Hey, what’s your name?” Some random guy grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my reverie.
“Lindsay,” I said, not meaning to give him my last name. It was too late to fix it. I wasn’t smooth enough to pull off “Lindsay, Lauren Lindsay.”
“Lindsay,” he said, slurring my name. “Wanna dance?”
I shook my head, but someone caught my eye. Dean was standing a room over surrounded by girls. Just the sight of it made my stomach turn.
I turned around and looked at the counter. I poured myself a double shot, took it, and then took another. I was going to need a lot of liquid courage for this.
“Sure,” I said, turning to the guy.
“Okay,” he said, raising his eyebrows at the amount of alcohol I had just downed.
He led me to dark room that was adjacent to where Dean was. The music was too loud and there were too many people, but I was starting to feel better about it as the alcohol made its way into my system. I hated things like this, but I hated seeing Dean this even more. I think the thing that I hated the most was that I even had an opinion about it.
A familiar song came on and I started dancing, hating myself for whoever this random guy was, but I tried to let go.
I stared at Dean the whole time until he turned and saw me. Our eyes met and he froze. I closed my eyes and leaned back against my dance partner, fully inebriated at that point.
“Hey,” the guy said, leaning down. “Wanna go upstairs?”
If by “upstairs” he meant “more alcohol”, that was fine by me. The look in Dean’s eyes made me hate myself even more. I shouldn’t be doing this. This wasn’t me. I tore my gaze away from him as my dance partner led me upstairs by the hand.
Some guy I vaguely recognized as the one without chaser downstairs walked by me and I immediately stopped. He was holding half of a bottle of whiskey in his hand.
“Can I have some of that?” I asked, pointing at it.
He nodded, holding it out.
“I don’t have any chaser though,” he said again.
I shook my head. “I don’t care, remember?”
I don’t even know how many gulps I took. It tasted like water. I handed it back to him and smiled.
He looked stunned.
“I don’t know whether you’re an alcoholic or not, but I think I’m in love with you,” he said.
“Thanks,” I told him, and kissed him on the cheek.
My dance partner grabbed my hand and pulled me along the hallway into another crowded room. The light was too bright. Everyone in this room was either dancing or making out, or both.
How shambly.
He sat down on someone’s gross Ikea futon and pulled me next to him.
I let my head lull to the side. I was so exhausted. It was like everything had caught up to me.
He leaned in, brushing my hair out of my face, and tried to kiss me.
The second his lips met mine, I flinched. The last person who kissed me was someone I loved, and he had been the only one. This guy had ruined it all.
I tried to pretend that it was okay. It had been years, it was stupid that I felt like this was so sacred. Everyone else was just making out with anyone who breathed. Maybe this wasn’t so bad.
He tried to coax me into it, so I tried to let it happen. It was awful, and after a few minutes, he could tell I wasn’t all there.
“I’m too drunk for this,” I told him, pulling away. I couldn’t look at him.
I’ll never be drunk enough for this.
“Are you too drunk to get on top of me?” he said.
I wanted to gag.
I nodded.
Again, not drunk enough, apparently.
He tried to pull me onto him anyway, and forced his lips down on mine again. I tried to pull away, but his free hand held my head in place.
I felt hands grabbing my shoulders.
“Hey man, you probably don’t want to mess with her,” someone else said. “Dean’s on his way up here.”
What was this? The fifties? I didn’t belong to anyone. Boys were stupid.
I heard a female voice whisper in my ear, and I could have sworn it was Stacia.
“You aren’t anything special to him, you know. You’re just a pit stop and as soon as he’s done with you he’ll dump you like he dumps everyone and he’ll move on.”
I felt like I was going to throw up. I rolled to the side, trying to get away from the creeper who was trying to kiss me again. Kiss me, or drown me in his saliva, I wasn’t sure which. I wiped my face and let my hair fall over my eyes.
The creeper got up and left for a minute, and I just sat on the futon. The room was spinning. I hadn’t considered my next move before he was back and pulling me onto his lap again so that I was straddling him.
Oh no. This was bad, but I was too far gone to try and save myself. This was not happening. It couldn’t be happening, but it was.
More hands on my shoulders. This time, I was being lifted up. My legs wouldn’t support me. I smelled something familiar. Maybe someone’s cologne? All I knew was I was happy I was away from the creeper.
Hands came around my legs, and the next thing I knew I was being carried bridal style out of the room. My face rested up against my rescuer’s chest, and his shirt was warm and soft.
I forced my eyes open and squinted at the light, looking to see who it was.
“Dean!” I squealed excitedly.
He looked down at me but didn’t say anything. Why was he so mad at me all the time?
“I was fine,” I said. “I was handling it. You didn’t have to go all Rhett Butler on me.”
He smirked.
“I’m pretty sure Rhett Butler would have left you there. You know, ‘frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn’, and all of that.”
I let my head fall to the side.