If Not For You (25 page)

“I’ll be ready,” I said, walking him to the door.

Gage stopped in the door’s frame and reached out, holding his hand to my cheek. He had this deeply intense look on his face, something in his eyes not there before. His hand slid to the nape of my neck, pulling me towards him and his lips touched the corner of my mouth and moved slowly to my ear.

“I’m looking forward to spending the evening with you, sweetheart…I promise to make it a night you’ll never forget.” He whispered in a breathy tone and then walked away.

A shiver ran over my entire body, an honest to god shiver. Goose bumps formed on my skin and I had to lean against the back of the door to steady myself.

Not a word had been said about the sauna incident, our fight had been swept aside. Sure that it would be brought up at a later date, hoping that it would remain hidden, I set my mind on the night ahead. A tingling low in my belly had me breathless with anticipation, I wouldn’t push, but I wasn’t going to back off if things got a little steamy. It was known that the art of persuasion tilted towards the female gender, a man could only resist so much.

When I finally caught my breath I hurried to the shower, after spending extra attention shaving my legs and waxing other regions and stood under the spray of the water as Gage’s words repeated in my head over and over again.

“A night I’ll never forget.” I said out loud.

I shook my head, refusing to give in to the idea that he meant more than just dancing. I certainly had no intention of making anymore stupid moves on the man, not again, but I’ll admit it sure would be a night to remember, if he perhaps did a little more than grope me in his sleep.

***

The Razzmatazz Bar was definitely the right choice for an evening of dancing. Dark and intimate, we sat at a table off to the side of the bar area, inhabited only by one other much older couple, who clearly had no intention of bothering anyone else. They held hands across the table while they shared quiet conversation and drinks.

The music was mainly slow and sexy, with the odd upbeat rhythm thrown in here and there. We were probably the youngest couple on the dance floor but I didn’t care, I was having a great time.

Gage held me close in his strong arms with his cheek resting against my temple while we gracefully flowed around the dance floor, like no one else in the world existed. I don’t think we missed dancing to more than five songs. We chose to sit it out when faster songs started to play and ordered fancy cocktails with fruit and umbrellas, which Gage tried to tuck in my hair several times and I swatted him away playfully.

Returning to the dance floor, we enjoyed a few more songs. Many couples had left and only a handful of us remained. The older couple had long gone, leaving the area our own.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” Gage asked.

“Too many times to count, silly,” I chided, with a laugh.

“Well you do…are you having a good time?” he asked, planting a kiss on my temple.

“The time of my life, and you?”

“I enjoy every moment with you, sweetheart.” he said, and my heart skipped a beat.

He didn’t for a minute let me down, he had promised a night to remember and I’d never forget this night.

Nuzzling his nose under my ear, he worked tiny kisses across to my collar bone and back again. His tongue made contact with my earlobe and I visibly trembled, I could feel his cheek curling into a smile. I closed my eyes and held my breath as his teeth gently nipped into my flesh and a moan escaped my mouth which had formed an O.

“Oh God,” I muttered.

“Mmm…” Gage hummed against my now highly sensitized skin.

His lips explored, moving across my chin, circling the crest of my other ear and the soft tissue just behind. I was in a tranquil place with my head whirling and my pulse beating between my thighs. The awareness of my increasing wetness and my rapid breathing were making my knees weak and I had to tighten my hold around Gage’s shoulders not to crumble to the floor.

“I shouldn’t be doing this,” Gage whispered under his breath, clearly not meant to be heard, but he was and I did.

“Am I complaining?” I asked, breathlessly.

Parting us enough to take my face in his hands, Gage looked into my eyes with that deeply intense look I had seen earlier.

“You should be with someone that can give you so much more than I can…someone special, someone that you love and that can love you back, the way you should be loved.”

“I don’t want anyone else, I want you…I want
you
to be my first,” I confessed, words I had spoken before but with much more desire backing them.

“You don’t have any idea how much I want you Tandy, no idea.” He took my hand and led me to the table, sat me down beside him and took my hand in his.

“I’m not what you want. You’re not thinking clearly, you’re thinking with your heart, not your head. I’m not what you need. I don’t want to hurt you and I’ll only end up breaking your heart. I can’t give you love, not the love you deserve.”

“Gage, I’m not asking you to love me forever…just for tonight.”

***

We stood at the side of my bed, neither of us making a move. He stepped forward and held his hand to my cheek. I moved my cheek farther into his touch.

“Sweetheart I ca…” Gage started, but my index finger met his lips and stopped him before he could say the dreaded
can’t
.

“Don’t you dare, don’t say it…please,” I pled in a soft quiet tone and slid my hands inside his suit jacket pushing it over his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor.

I could see his chest rise and fall a little faster as I tugged his tie free from around his neck and let it fall to join his jacket on the floor. My hands trembled as I started to unbutton his dress shirt. When his hands closed over mine I froze,
not again
I thought. His lips kissed against my forehead and he backed away.

“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into, there’s a side to me…you just don’t know.”

“If you’re trying to scare me don’t bother, it won’t work. I’m not scared.”

He stepped back farther, I found myself pulling in a deep breath when I heard him whisper with a sexy rasp, “you should be.”

“Gage?” I asked, worried that he was going to leave me cold and walk away, I knew I couldn’t handle that again. If he rejected me now, I was afraid of what I would do.

“Give me a minute, I’ll be back.” He picked up his jacket and fumbled in his pockets. He held up his key card and smiled as he threw his jacket across the room.

“One minute,” he raised his index finger, “I have to run to my room, don’t move. Stay right there.” he said pointing as he backed into the hall and out of sight.

I didn’t move an inch, not an inch. I stood staring at his silky green tie lying on the floor where he had been stand just moments ago, praying for the door to open. Time stood still as if I was in some kind of cruel time warp, where everything stopped and floated in the air in a strange limbo, like I had seen in commercials and music videos.

The door clicked open and Gage stood still for a moment watching me with a smile, “You didn’t move.” he whispered.

I shook my head no and he walked over with his hands behind his back.

“Close your eyes,” he whispered, I closed them tight with anticipation. “Hold out a hand.”

“Which one,” I asked, giggling.

“You choose.”

I held out my right hand and I felt Gage fiddle with something cold around my wrist.

“Open your eyes,” he instructed.

It was a pretty silver link bracelet with a jade green Buddha charm clipped onto it.

“I bought it for you in Mumbai at the market, you can add the other charm I bought in Singapore…I forgot about it until now.”

I held it up to get a better look. “It’s beautiful, thank you, I love it…this is why you stopped me?” I asked, it was pretty and I’d treasure it always, but surely it wasn’t so important that he had to stop what was happening to give it to me.

“Not just that.” He suddenly got serious again and I was dreading what else he was going to say, he was going to tell me
can’t
.

“I had to get these.” He held out a long row of foil wrapped condoms and tossed them onto the bed with a smile.

My heart restarted with a violent pounding and Gage closed the distance between us. His hands weaved into my hair and he held my cheek to his.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” he breathed the words across my cheek.

“I’ve never been so sure,” I breathed the sound barely audible.

Gage’s tongue brushed over my lips and I opened to him, our tongues tangling in an elegant dance together and our moans echoed from our mouths.

I heard the rasp of my zipper as he lowered it and my dress slid down to the floor around my ankles. I stood in my bra and panties and unbuttoned the remaining buttons on his shirt, and as he shrugged out of it, I unfastened his pants and pulled them over his hips letting them slide down to his ankles. We stepped from the discarded clothing and I couldn’t stop from lowering my sights to the bulge in Gage’s boxers, as it pushed against the fabric seeking escape.

Sure I had seen naked men before but never up so close and personal. He was frightfully large from what I could tell. I reached out and touched my palm against his arousal and he let out a puff of air as his eyes closed and his head fell back. His reaction and the heat in my palm sent a tingle through me and my belly fluttered down low.

Opening his eyes, Gage reached out and ran his fingertips across the lace edge of my bra. I could feel my nipples tighten almost painfully under the fabric. He fumbled with the clasp as he kissed my shoulder until it was open and I slipped it free from my heavy breasts and threw it to the floor. Gage’s hands fondled and kneaded each unhurried.

His thumbs stroked over each nipple and then he lowered his head, licking circles around one and then the other. He sucked each into his mouth and gently nipped at them, sending bolts of pure pleasure to my sex. I was dizzy with the excitement that Gage was causing.

Feeling bolder, I caressed my hands down his chest and into the waist of his boxers. I wanted to touch him, feel his cock in my hand, feel the proof of the affect I had on him. My hand clasped around his silky warm, pulsating flesh and Gage’s hips jerked back, pulling free of my hold.

“Whoa, gentle baby,” he whispered, taking my hand and spreading my fingers carefully around his shaft, gliding my hand up and down in long, even strokes. My fingers couldn’t touch together as I held him, I thought about that for a moment, too large for my hand and he was going to put that inside me?

“Mmm…better,” he said, releasing his hand, giving over control with a glazed look in his eyes.

His lips closed over mine, kissing me tenderly as his hand slipped into my panties slowly, his fingers dipped between my folds and I moaned softly into his mouth. I had to release my hold on his cock and grasp onto his strong arms to steady myself as my legs nearly buckled. He smiled against my mouth, his teeth nibbled at my lower lip as he slid his finger along my folds.

“So warm,” he whispered sweetly.

I could feel my juices slick and wet as they coated his fingers and he stroked in and out in a slow steady rhythm. My hips rocked to meet each stroke. I had to pull my mouth free from Gage’s to catch my breath. The feel of his long pleasing fingers as they caressed inside me was like nothing I could have imagined. I whimpered and groaned unabashed, if this was heaven then kill me now.

“As pretty as they are, the panties have to go.” Gage’s hand pulled free, pushing my panties down over my hips and I helped quickly slip them off.

He helped me onto the bed and lay down beside me. I don’t think there was a single inch of flesh that he didn’t trace with his fingers and then follow with kisses. My entire body tingled and my breathing hastened as he started at the swell of my breasts, his lips and tongue smoothing over my skin, suckling at each nipple leaving a cool damp trail to my navel.

My fingers tangled into Gage’s unruly locks and I tugged until he crawled up on all fours over me, I needed him inside me. He licked across his lips and dipped down to lick over mine. Pressing my palms to his chest and caressing his taut tanned pecs, I linked the tip of my pinky into his piecing and he smiled.

Giving it a slight twist, not wanting to hurt but wanting to test his reaction, he provided me with a hot growl and I asked, “Does that hurt?”

He shook his head and grinded his erection against my thigh, “Makes me harder,”

“As if it could get any harder,” I giggled, helping him wriggled free from his boxers. I watched as he tore open the foil packet and slid a condom over the shiny purple head of his impressively thick cock, rolling it to the base. He gave it a few strokes. I remembered the vision of Gage in the shower jacking off and smiled, he smiled back like he knew, like we shared the same thought.

When he positioned himself over me, our eyes met. He held my chin in his hand and placed a slow smoldering kiss on my lips. I could feel his cock hard against my leg like a silk covered steel pole and my clit pulsed with eagerness. I couldn’t help but shift my hips to push harder to him.

“I need you to be sure baby. I don’t want you to regret this, any of this.” he whispered breathlessly.

“This is what I want, you’re what I want, please don’t stop.”

His hand slid between us and brushed his cock over my opening with a moan and held the head of his cock right there, right at my entrance, like he was teasing. I whimpered my protest and drew in a deep breath, holding it. My mind was in a haze, all a whirl, as my eyes began to roll into the back of my head at the combination of his fingertips and the head of his cock moving against my waiting sex.

I heard him whisper, “Keep your eyes on mine baby. I want to see your face when I take it. I want you to see mine,” he instructed.

My eyes opened to see an erotic twinkle in his beautiful blue pools and those dimples I loved in those gorgeous cheeks. My heart was racing and the ache between my thighs had me gasping. I was so aware of the wetness between my thighs. The heat, the want, the need for his touch had me writhing beneath him and he hadn’t even penetrated me yet.