I Never Had It Made (30 page)

I've always been a fighter, but this is one fight I could never have won alone. I am amazed and grateful for the skill of the doctors helping me at this time. But it is something more than just skill; each doctor has taken a personal interest in me, supported me and given me hope. There has been my family—Rachel, Sharon, David, and Mother Isum—surrounding me with love, care, concern and encouragement. And there are the people. People in every walk of life who have written, telephoned, sent telegrams, and spared no effort to let me know that I was not a forgotten sports hero, but I am a man whose personal struggle has reached many, black and white, and given them the courage to go on with their struggles. It seems like they have been trying to share some of the strength they feel they got from me by responding now to me in my time of need. A telegram sent to the editor of the New York
Times
from a black woman in Detroit left me speechless.

 

I AM TRYING TO GET IN TOUCH WITH JACKIE ROBINSON THAT ONCE PLAYED WITH THE BROOKLYN DODGERS. WILL YOU PLEASE PRINT THIS AND WHATEVER IT COSTS SEND ME THE BILL AND ILL PAY YOU. “JACKIE I READ IN THE FREE PRESS THIS MORNING THAT YOU'VE LOST SIGHT IN YOUR RIGHT EYE AND IS VERY BAD IN THE LEFT. DO YOU THINK A TRANSPLANT WILL HELP. I WILL BE GLAD TO GIVE YOU ONE OF MINE. YOU CAN CALL ME AT WORK BETWEEN
8:15
AND
5:30
PM.”

Fortunately, a recent operation has given me hope and I could decline this beautiful offer.

There have been some meaningful public demonstrations recently that have made me realize people see that I have attempted to make a contribution beyond the world of sports. I have always fought for my principles and spoken out for my ideals. Recognition coming at this time has given me the determination to live as many more productive years as I can.

Three such events are outstanding.

First, there was my trip to Los Angeles early in the summer of 1972 to participate in the ritual of the retirement of my uniform number—Number 42—by the now Los Angeles Dodgers. Being elected to the Hall of Fame is a heartwarming thing. The retirement of your number—which is to say that it becomes uniquely yours from then on and can never be used by another player—well, that sort of caps the Hall of Fame honor.

Second, there was the Jackie Robinson Day—called a “Tribute to Black Excellence”—which was observed in Chicago under the sponsorship of Reverend Jesse Jackson and his organization, PUSH. Reverend Jackson's organization brought our family out to Chicago as their guests for three days and extended us every conceivable comfort and courtesy. There was a special showing of the old picture
—The Jackie Robinson Story—
at one of the community's black-owned theaters. It was a free showing and there was a fabulous reception of some three hundred and fifty professional, business, civic, and sports people in the home of Dr. T. R. M. Howard, a noted surgeon and huntsman. We made an appearance at a luncheon of youngsters at the Martin Luther King Boys Club on the West Side. The major event was held on Saturday morning at the regular weekly meeting of PUSH. This meeting, devoted entirely to a salute to my family and me, was one of the warmest, most moving occasions I have known. A parade of personalities took part in the Friday reception and the Saturday meeting. To my amazement, the entire Pittsburgh Pirates team turned out, from the top management down to the whole player roster. Some of the kind things they said made me terribly proud. There were recorded messages from many people who couldn't be present.

One of the things which made me feel so wonderful was the recognition which was given to Rae. We've been part of so many affairs where people have uttered the old and well-meaning cliché about Rae being “the woman behind an important man.” But this time, Rae was honored as the woman who walked
beside
her man and shared his good and bad moments. Rae not only received flowers, but she received a beautiful plaque. It was given to her by Dr. Howard and the staff of his new Friendship Medical Center. Dr. Ellis Johnson, a leading psychiatrist, presented it, and paid tribute to Rachel's work in nursing psychiatry. The inscription said that she had given her life to healing “her man, her family, and her people.”

When Rae accepted the plaque she said, “We came to Chicago, proud of Jack's achievements and your wish to honor him. But we came here, sad also because, just a year ago, we lost our son Jackie. The warmth and love which you have given us today are helping to fill up that big hole in our hearts.”

Her words brought tears to many eyes.

The third event took place in New York recently. The Virgin Islands' government honored me in a wonderful affair at Mama Leone's famous restaurant on July 19, which just happened to be Rae's birthday. A surprise (to me) guest was Dick Young, the sportswriter for the New York
Daily News,
with whom I've had so many run-ins. Clyde Sukeforth, the Dodger scout sent out by Mr. Branch Rickey to bring me into the Dodger club, was there to reminisce. My old friend telecaster Mal Goode was on hand and Roger Kahn, another old friend and author of the best-selling
Boys of Summer.
There were members of my family from California. I was particularly thrilled to see my old teammate, Sandy Amoros, who made that sensational catch in the final game of the '55 world series, giving the Dodgers their first world series victory. It was a wonderful night full of rich memories.

I have many memories. I remember standing alone at first base—the only black man on the field. I had to fight hard against loneliness, abuse, and the knowledge that any mistake I made would be magnified because I was the only black man out there. I had to fight hard to become “just another guy.” I had to deny my true fighting spirit so that the “noble experiment” could succeed. When it finally did I could become my own man; many people resented my impatience and honesty. But I never cared about acceptance as much as I cared about respect. In the business world I always strove to learn as much as I could so I would not be just a figurehead. I always believed in the utmost integrity. In politics I believed in following principle even if the man didn't seem to offer outstanding possibilities. I never believed in backing out just because things weren't the best they could be. In civil rights I worked hard to do as much as I could for my people. In everything I have experienced I have been blessed with the love of my family—my wife, Rachel; my children, Sharon, David, and Jackie; my wonderful mother; and my brothers and sister. I have always fought for what I believed in. I have had a great deal of support and I have tried to return that support with my best effort. However, there is one irrefutable fact of my life which has determined much of what happened to me: I was a black man in a white world.
I never had it made.

About the Author

JACKIE ROBINSON
shared the turbulent and triumphant story of his life with freelance writer Alfred Duckett, who contributed to the powerful speeches and sermons of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

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Copyright

I NEVER HAD IT MADE.
Copyright © 1995 by Rachel Robinson. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins ebooks.

Photograph on p. iii from The Bettman Archive

The Library of Congress has catalogued the hardcover edition as follows:

Robinson, Jackie, 1919–1972.

      I never had it made / by Jackie Robinson as told to Alfred Duckett.

            p.    cm.

      Originally published: New York : Putnam, 1972.

      ISBN 0-88001-419-9 (cloth)

      1. Robinson, Jackie, 1919–1972. 2. Baseball players—United States—Bibliography. I. Duckett, Alfred. II. Title.

GV865.R6A3     1995

796.357'092—dc20

94-45279

ISBN 0-06-055597-1 (pbk.)

EPUB Edition © MARCH 2013 ISBN 9780062287298

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