Authors: Melody Carlson
“Really?”
Mom nodded. “It's true.”
Then I flipped open the checkbook to the register and was surprised to find it was a lot more than I'd expected. “This is too much,” I said quickly. “Really, I'm cutting corners wherever I can. I don't need this–”
“Look, Catie,” said my dad. “It's barely half of what they say the average wedding costs.”
“But they're crazy,” I told him. “I know I can do this for less.”
Mom nodded. “Good. Do it for less.”
“Then I can return the savings to you?”
“No.” My dad patted me on the back. “It's yours,
honey. Spend it all on the wedding or save it for your future. It's up to you.”
“Wow.” I looked at the figure again. I've never had this kind of money before. Not all at once.
“We know you'll do the right thing with it,” my mom assured me.
“Thanks,” I told them. Then I hugged them both. “I'll be careful with it.”
And I plan to be careful. Not only that, but I found an article in the back of one of those wedding magazines. I'm sure they hid it in the back because they didn't want anyone to really read it. But I did. It was about ways to cut costs for your wedding. Ironically, I'd already done some. But now I'm determined to save as much as possible.
I mean, I want my wedding to be nice, but it's not like it has to impress anyone, well, besides Josh and me. And if we do this wedding for less, maybe we can use our savings for something good–like food for the kids in Mexico. Now, there's a real motivator when it comes to saving money. Every time I'm making a decision, I should measure the savings in rice and beans. Okay, I don't plan on announcing this to, say, the caterers, but it will definitely be going through my head.
Anyways, I'm back in school, and on Tuesday I enticed Jenny to go to coffee with Liz and me. And even though I could sense Liz's resentment at first (like “why did you bring HER along?”), it turned out okay. I'd told Jenny a
little about Liz and her past with guys and Jenny just started opening up. and here's the kind of pathetic part–before we called it a night, both of my friends were ragging on me.
“Yeah, Caitlin's always been the
good
girl,” said Jenny as she winked at me. “I mean, besides her abstinence vow, if she wasn't preaching at us to give up boys, she was out on the street saving orphan children.”
“I didn't do that.”
“I know just what you mean,” said Liz with a twinkle in her eye. “I've heard that old I'm-saving-myself-for-marriage speech so many times that I almost know it by heart.”
And then they actually started saying it (well, their version of it) together. I felt so stupid and slightly irked, but then suddenly I saw that they were only trying to get a rise out of me, and I started to laugh. Pretty soon we were all laughing and making up jokes for ways that girls could preserve their purity.
Okay, some of the jokes were pretty raunchy and gross–like why would a guy want to sleep with a girl who never shaved her armpits and chewed tobacco and bathed only at Christmas? But we were on a roll, and we thought we were pretty funny. Even so, I think the manager of Starbucks was seriously relieved to see us go. I'm just thankful he didn't call campus security to have us thrown out.
“Too much caffeine?” he said sarcastically as we were leaving.
“Too much testosterone?” Liz retorted in her most acidic tone. That's when Jenny and I just ducked our heads and bolted out the door. Oh, well.
This past weekend was the high school ski retreat. And despite my desire to get back to my college routines and what I define as “normal,” I am so glad I took the time to go to this. It was a totally amazing time. And nothing like the last time that Josh and I were on a ski retreat together. The fact is, we never even kissed. Not once.
Instead, I spent my time with eleven high school girls who just totally won my heart. Of course, two of them were already dear to me. I was so pleasantly surprised when Chloe and Allie were among the girls in my Cabin. It turned out that they're taking a short touring break and won't be back on the road until early February.
“We have to enjoy some of the high school experience,” explained Chloe after I'd hugged them both.
And it was so cool having those two there. It's as if their presence took the spirituality factor of our small group sessions to a whole new level. To be honest, I think that Chloe and Allie could've done the whole thing without me. But like Josh said, he needed an “adult” along. Mostly I felt like I watched as these two shared from their hearts and really got girls to open up. Sure, I answered questions and told them about things like my little abstinence pledge (will I ever be known for anything
besides that?), but it seemed to be Chloe and Allie who got these girls to thinking.
I met a girl who was relatively new to the youth group. Her name is Kim Peterson, and she was the quiet one in the group. She told me she'd just recommitted her life to Christ, but for some reason I was drawn to her immediately. Maybe it was her petite Asian good looks or her sweet spirit. But I could tell she was very intelligent, and she asked some very probing questions–some that we couldn't fully answer. But I was impressed with her maturity and I really hoped I could get to know her better.
Then Chloe and I were riding a chairlift together and she asked me how the wedding plans were coming and specifically about music. And I told her I had't lined anything up yet. “As far as the wedding goes, I'm just not sure,” I admitted. “I want it to be kind of subdued and classic, you know?”
“Yeah, I can imagine that.”
“Okay,” I said, “Tell me if this sounds dumb…but I'd like to have ‘Ave Maria’–not sung but played, and I was thinking maybe violin. Is that crazy?”
“No, I think it'd be beautiful.”
“But isn't it a pretty difficult piece? Do you think I'd ever find anyone who could do it justice.?”
Chloe got this big grin, and for a moment I actually got worried that she would offer to play this on guitar. Okay, I love this girl, but the last thing I want to see at my wedding is Chloe, complete in bridesmaid gown, up
there blasting out “Ave Maria” on her electric guitar.
“She's in your cabin.”
“Huh?”
“The person who can play ‘Ave Maria’ on Violin.”
“Seriously?”
She nodded as she got her snowboard situated to exit the chair.
“Who is it?” I asked as we both came off.
“Kim!” she shouted as she went flying down the slope.
Well, before the day was over, I discovered that not only was Kim a sweet and intelligent girl, she was probably the most gifted violinist within a hundred-mile radius. Maybe even more. Even so, she was very humble when I asked her about it.
“Do you want me to audition?” she asked.
“Judging by what Chloe and Allie say, I don't think it's necessary. But how do you feel about ‘Ave Maria’?”
“I think it's beautiful.”
“And you know it?”
“Sure.” Kim smiled. “And I'd love to play it for you and Josh.”
So there you go. I'm off trying to be a good high school counselor, and I discover a musician to play at our wedding. Go figure.
But then this weekend was just one of those amazing times when it felt like God was at work and the Holy Spirit was breathing on everyone. By our last “talk time” on Sunday morning, five of the girls in my cabin had recommitted their lives to Jesus and the other four were
more excited than ever about serving God. It was awe-some. When it was time to go our separate ways on Sunday, we all hugged each other and cried.
Oh yeah, the skiing and snowboarding was great too. They had six new inches of powder on Saturday morning and hardly any waiting time on the lifts. I mean, seriously, does life get much better than this?
But this weekend (and maybe the last one too) got me thinking. The thing is, I'm seeing more and more how well suited Josh is to youth ministry. His ability to deliver a message that really hits kids right where they live, and the way he reaches out to everyone is truly amazing. Not only that, but the way kids respond to him is phenomenal. It's like he totally gets them and they absolutely love him. And I've seen some great youth pastors in the past. Clay Berringer was unforgettably awesome, and his life and death impacted me more than anyone else I know.
But in some ways (and hey, I may be biased), Josh reaches kids even better than Clay. Maybe it's because Clay was so serious and intense, like he kind of over-whelmed us sometimes. But then who knew how short his life was going to be? It's like he needed that kind of intensity to accompolish all that he had to do. And I know I will never forget that guy. But when I watch Josh interacting with kids, or speaking up front to the group, well, I'm just blown away at what a natural he is and how much the kids trust and love him.
“He's the real thing,” a girl named Cammie said to me. And I have to agree.
DEAR GOD, THANKS FOR THE FANTASTIC TIME WITH THESE GIRLS. THANKS THAT I AM HOOKED UP WITH A GUY LIKE JOSH WHO REALLY HAS A HEART FOR YOUNG PEOPLE. PLEASE, SHOW US THE DIRECTION YOU HAVE FOR OUR LIVES, NO MATTER WHAT IT MIGHT BE, AND HELP US TO FOLLOW YOU WHOLE HEARTEDLY WHEREVER YOU LEAD. AMEN.
Of course, I got my reality check–rather my wedding reality check–when I got back to my dorm and finally had time to open the package Josh's mom sent home with me on Sunday night. Naturally, I'd forgotten that I'd suggested that she might look into wedding invitations, since she seemed to know so much about this sort of thing. And that's just what she did.
The large manila envelope had about six different styles of very formal-looking invitations, complete with heavy embossing, pieces of pale-colored tissue paper and ribbons that tied and all sorts of goodies. The problem was, when I looked at the price list, I was stunned. I mean, each invitation cost as much as a very nice Hallmark card (which multiplied by three hundred, our current estimate, gets pretty spendy). Like I think I might
be able to find a decent used car for this same price.
Anyway, instead of calling her up and asking who she thought was going to pay for this kind of nonsense, I began to do some research. Surely there were some options to these Cadillac invitations. And before long I discovered a very affordable alternative. Okay, so it wasn't embossed or beribboned or doesn't come with tissue. Hey, if she wants tissue, my grandma's got a lifetime supply of kleenex in her hall closet, and I'm sure she'd be willing to donate a box or two.
My alternative was to have photocopied invitations. And while they may not have the elegant feel of those heavy, expensive ones–and what's that about anyway? Just a way to guilt unsuspecting guests into thinking they better spring for some costly wedding gift? I don't think so–I have no doubts that we can make our invitations into something special. So I played with some fonts and things on my computer. Before long Jenny started watching, and (after she teased me with, “Are you going to e-mail them to save on postage?”) she actually got into the spirit.
“You know, I have a friend who's an art major. His name is Nick, and I might be able to get his help on this.”
“Do you think he's affordable?” I asked.
“He's a student, Caitlin. How much more desperate does one get?”
So I printed out what I'd come up with so far and gave it to her. “Don't commit to anything,” I told her.
Then I called my mom, I'm sure for moral support, and
she agreed with me that invitations do not have to cost a fortune. “I'll bet your dad could get them printed at work for the cost of the paper and ink.”
So I asked her to check into it, and then I slipped Joy's envelope full of samples under my bed. And for the time being, I forget all about invitations.
Tonight was the first night of our marriage class at the church. Pastor Tony is taking seven couples, including us, through a marriage book. I felt a little funny since all of the other couples were already married (mostly newly-weds), and that made us look like real beginners. But as the class wore on, it became a real eye-opener when some of these people started expressing some of their problems. In fact, it was rather alarming when one couple actually got into a fight. Fortunately, it was time for a break, and Tony took them aside and reminded them of a few of the class rules.
“You okay?” Josh asked in a hushed voice as we went for cookies at the snack table.
“I think so.” I poured myself some tea and tried not to stare at Tony as he counseled the feuding couple. “But that was pretty weird.”
“Guess we should be glad we're taking this class before we tie the knot,” he said as he picked up a cookie.
I smiled up at my beloved and wondered if we'd ever
have a fight like that–and in public. But then I'm sure all things are possible, and this couple may have gotten along perfectly well during their engagement period too.
Apparently, Tony's talk with the couple worked, but before the evening was over, it was clear that some of these marriages were already in trouble. Josh and I stayed to help clean things up and rearrange chairs so they'd be ready for youth group on Saturday night.
“Will you guys want to come back after tonight?” Tony asked after he'd told the last couple good-bye.
“I don't know,” said Josh seriously. “I think you're scaring my girl. You keep this up, and she might refuse to marry me at all.”
Tony laughed. “I'm sorry, Caitlin. I knew some of these couples were having troubles, but you never know what you're getting into until the can of worms is open.”
“There's no denying that some of these couples need help,” Josh said as he put the last chair in place.
“Well, I've already invited two couples in for private counseling,” said Tony. “But there could be good reason for you kids to be here.”
“And that would be…?” Josh eyed his boss carefully.
“For one thing, it's a good warning of what not to do.”
We both chuckled at this.
“And another thing is that you kids bring something healthy and wholesome to the table. These other couples made mistakes in their courtships and past lives that are still dogging at their heels now. Some of them are in second and third marriages. But you guys are a
good example of how a marriage is supposed to begin. of course, what happens after that is up to you.” Then he slapped Josh on the back. “But so far, I'm impressed and I expect great things from you guys.”