Huckleberry Summer (24 page)

Aden’s heart felt as heavy as a stone. He passed the spot where the ill-fated mailbox had been and tramped up Lily’s sidewalk.

Of course Lily wouldn’t be coming back to Huckleberry Hill. Her dat would see to that, and like the obedient child she was, she would comply with his wishes. But a hundred hostile fathers couldn’t keep Aden from seeing her and making things right. He knew how she must be suffering from the entire ordeal. He would be able to comfort her and make her feel whole again.

That’s what she did for him every time he laid eyes on her.

Even his best hopes of seeing her last night vanished when Dawdi’s horse threw a shoe half a mile from Huckleberry Hill. They’d arrived home after ten, and Aden knew he would make matters worse by showing up at her house at that hour.

Sleep had been impossible. He’d spent the chilly night haunting the tomato patch with a propane lantern, picking the rest of the tomatoes for Mammi, and planning exactly what he would say to Lily. He had forced himself to wait until eight this morning to hurry to her house. Even after yesterday, she’d be awake by eight, wouldn’t she?

There were so many things he needed to say to her.

Whoa, slow down a minute. His desires galloped far ahead of reality. He’d marry Lily tomorrow if he could, but she probably wasn’t ready for that. She’d been through a lot in the last week, and a girl like Lily needed time to sort out her feelings.

Estee answered the door with a sweater draped around her shoulders. Probably on her way to work. She neglected to smile at him, but she didn’t seem angry. “You shouldn’t be here.”

He identified the look in her eyes. She felt sorry for him.

“I need to see Lily.”

“That won’t do any good for anybody right now. Go home and give them some time to cool down.”

“I’m desperate to see her, Estee.”

She glanced behind her before stepping onto the porch and closing the door after her. “Do you understand what you’ve done? Dat has forbidden us to say your name.”

Aden took off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair. “I know it was terrible for Lily, but if I could talk to her, I know I can make everything right again.”

“No, you can’t. Lily is not to speak to you. Dat won’t yield. Lily says you’ve taken advantage of her trusting heart, and she never wants to see you again.”

Aden felt as if he’d been knocked over by a giant bowling ball. “She . . . she said that?”

Estee huffed out her frustration. “She has an overactive sense of guilt. One word from Dat convinced her that you would drag her to hell yet.” She took him by the elbow and whispered, “I wonders me what happened last night. You look like you’ve been in a brawl.”

“We didn’t do anything bad. Jamal needed some photos of a puppy mill, and he wanted me to distract the people in the house. Lily begged me to take her along. I didn’t want to, but she wouldn’t give in.”

“She insisted?”

“Jah. When we started snooping around the puppy mill, the people got suspicious and somebody called the police. Next thing I knew, they’d handcuffed all three of us.”

Estee glared at him. “You shouldn’t have taken her with you.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” he snapped.

Her expression softened. “Go home. You’ve made a mess of things.”

He felt as if his boots were nailed to the porch. “Please, Estee. Get Lily. I’ll not hesitate to barge into your house if I have to.”

“That would be foolish.”

His voice rose with his agitation. “Desperate people do desperate things. Haven’t you heard about Aden Helmuth? He chains himself to trees. He trespasses on other people’s property. Your dat already hates me. What do I care how much?”

Estee pressed her lips together and studied his face. She must have decided he was dead serious. “Okay, I will see what I can do. But wipe that scowl off your face or you’ll confirm what Dat already believes.”

She stepped back into the house and closed the door behind her.

Aden rubbed the scar on his eyebrow. The situation was worse than he feared. His hands trembled and sweat beaded on his forehead. What should he do now?

How long did they keep him standing out there? Five, ten minutes?

He had nearly decided to shoulder his way into the house uninvited when Lily’s dat appeared at the door, frowning with every line of his face. Lily stood about three feet behind him with her eyes to the floor and her arms wrapped around her waist. She caught her breath and widened her eyes when she looked at his face. He already sported two nasty black eyes.

David’s scowl almost rendered Aden speechless. “I . . . can I talk to Lily?”

“You should have listened to Estee. Nobody in this house wants to talk to you.”

“If you have any Christian kindness at all, please let me have my say.” It was low to suggest that the Eichers were devoid of Christian love, but he was out-of-his-head crazy to see Lily, and he knew such a declaration would get David’s attention.

David clenched his jaw and tilted his head toward Lily. “You have my permission to speak with him. I’ll see to it that he won’t bother us again.”

Lily took precisely one step out of the house while her dat stayed riveted just inside the door. Her red-rimmed eyes testified that she had been crying. Probably all night.

He wanted to pull her into his embrace so badly he could almost taste it. “Lily, I’m sorry. It must have been horrible for you. I know how terrified you were. The first time I got arrested it felt like the world had come to an end.”

She looked at him with disdain and knocked the wind right out of him. “The first time? I guess it got easier after that.”

“I just . . . I know how you are suffering. I feel so bad about what happened.”

“But not bad enough to let her be,” David said. “Was it a big joke? To drag my daughter to that terrifying place?”

“We couldn’t have guessed that the situation would get out of hand like it did.” Regret stabbed at Aden again and again. What kind of a boy would put the girl he loved in such danger? His remorse was fitting punishment for trying to do God’s job. Aden took Lily’s arms above the elbow and nudged her closer to him. She remained stiff as a board.

“Don’t,” said her dat.

Aden felt his whole world sinking. He dropped his hands. “Lily, please. I love you.”

She stared past him as if he weren’t even there, but a single tear rolled down her cheek.

“And I think you love me.”

“She doesn’t love you.” Her dat hissed like a snake about to strike. “Girls at her age are attracted to wild boys, but they never want them as husbands. Girls want steady, godly men who will provide for their families. You are no good for my daughter. She sees that now.”

Aden bent over and met Lily’s gaze. “Does she?”

Lily seemed to crack, and she began to cry in earnest. “I’m so ashamed.”

Her dat stepped out of the house and enfolded Lily into his arms. Aden bit his tongue to keep from crying out. He wanted to be the one to hold Lily and wipe away her tears. He wanted to caress those soft lips until she gave up running and kissed him back. Instead, he watched numbly as she took comfort from her father.

She regained her composure enough to speak. “If this is how it feels to be with you, Aden, then I don’t want it. I never want to feel like this again. Leave me alone and go corrupt some other girl who doesn’t mind being in jail.”

David took hold of Lily’s hand and turned to face Aden. “I’m going to the bishop later today to recommend your excommunication.”

Aden felt as dry and bleak as the desert. He spread his arms wide in a plea for mercy. “I welcome the shunning. I deserve it.”

Lily stopped crying and gazed at him. Perhaps his humility surprised her. Unable to resist, he stroked his finger once down her cheek. She flinched. “I never in a million years meant for you to be hurt.”

He felt as if he’d been crying for hours as the pain in his chest gripped him violently. He stepped off the porch and turned back to look at Lily. “It probably doesn’t matter to you, but I mean to change things in my life. I will always love you. Never forget.”

Aden marched down the sidewalk without looking back. One more look at Lily’s tortured face and his heart might cease beating.

Aden stared at the fiery red huckleberry patch without really seeing it and reminded himself to breathe. The pain felt so fresh that even filling his lungs took effort. He could only wish that the throbbing in his face where Earl had smacked him was the only discomfort he felt. The pain of a broken nose meant nothing compared to a heart ripped in shreds.

He sat on the same log where he and Lily had rested a month ago when they’d encountered the bear.

The day he’d first kissed her.

The best day of his life.

Aden’s heart did a flip-flop as he remembered the way Lily had glared at him when he ran into the woods with those frying pans—as if she cared whether he came back or not.

He leaned his elbows on his knees and contemplated walking back to the house. He’d been out here for more than an hour, but he couldn’t seem to make himself move, even though he needed to head into Bonduel for a load of coal. The nights would be getting mighty chilly right quick, and Dawdi would need to fire up the furnace in the cellar before too long.

Aden felt guilty about leaving Mammi and Dawdi just as winter approached, but he couldn’t stay here. Besides his grandparents, not one soul wanted him in Bonduel.

He ached at the thought of Lily’s rejection. Even though her adamant dismissal had surprised him, he didn’t blame her. He’d deserved it. He really thought she might have loved him, but if her dat spoke the truth, she had merely been fascinated with someone she thought was a “bad” boy.

Well, the look in her eyes this morning made it clear that she was over her fascination, ready to settle down with someone more suitable like Tyler Yoder. They were a better match than she and Aden had ever been. A match made in Amish heaven—well-behaved Lily Eicher and steady Tyler Yoder.

Lily would be happy.

That thought did not bring Aden comfort. He didn’t want Lily to be happy with anybody but him.

The sound of dry leaves rustling reminded him that Pilot needed to be fed. He probably tired of frolicking through the woods and now returned to remind Aden of his duty to feed his dog.

Aden stood and turned to see not Pilot, but Tyler Yoder making his way down the trail. His heart sank to his toes. He didn’t want to see Tyler today. Or ever. Tyler’s presence only served to remind Aden that he would never be good enough for Lily, that Lily deserved someone as good and steady as Tyler and not a hopeless case like Aden Helmuth.

Jah, Tyler was the last person Aden wanted to see.

“Your mammi told me you were out here,” Tyler said. “I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“Not at all. What do you need?”

Tyler gazed at Aden as he paused to catch his breath. “Your eyes are black and purple. I’ve never seen the like. Did you break your nose?”

“I think so.”

“I am glad Lily wasn’t hurt. I wish she hadn’t gone with you.”

“So do I.”

A deeply solemn frown shaped Tyler’s mouth. “My dat is conferring with the ministers right now. I thought you should know.”

Aden feigned ignorance. “About what?”

Tyler gave Aden that serious look he reserved for serious matters. “You know very well what. David Eicher practically broke down our door this morning.”

Resigned to his fate already, Aden sank back to the log and folded his arms. “Am I going to be excommunicated?”

Aden didn’t welcome it, but Tyler sat next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Jah.”

Aden averted his gaze and stared at the berry patch. “Good. That is the right decision.”

“I disagree.”

Aden stood and put some distance between them. He couldn’t bear this gesture of friendship from the one person who would eventually destroy all his happiness. “You know what happened. Lily’s dat has every cause to be mad.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Aden.”

“It was
only
my fault. You are one of the few people who know what being frightened like that must have done to Lily. I knew the risks, and I still let her come with me.”

“Did you force her into the car?”

“She had no idea what she was getting into.”

“But Lily wanted to go with you.” Tyler’s frown deepened. “She must have really liked that mailbox.”

Aden recognized Tyler’s expression. He wanted to laugh out loud at the irony. He cracked a pained smile.

“What’s so funny?” Tyler asked.

“You’re worried that Lily likes me?”

Tyler looked away. “Maybe a little.”

Aden didn’t try to mask the bitterness in his voice. Tyler could handle it. “Let me put your mind at ease. Her dat chopped down my mailbox. There isn’t a visible trace of it left. Lily herself ordered me to leave her alone. The way is clear, Tyler. She wouldn’t have me if I were the last Amish boy in Wisconsin.”

“You may think that makes me happy, but it doesn’t. I don’t want to win Lily’s love just because she thinks you’re so wicked in comparison.”

“I
am
wicked in comparison, and you are the kind of boy she wants.” The words made his eyes sting with regret.

Tyler stood as if he couldn’t contain his emotions. “You’re my friend, Aden. No matter the reason, it grieves me to see you so miserable. And just because David Eicher demands it doesn’t mean you should be excommunicated.”

“I deserve the punishment,” Aden said. “I’ll take whatever the elders want to heap on me as penance for what I’ve done.”

“The bann is not punishment. It is to help the sinner recognize the error of his ways.”

“Gute. Let them give me six weeks or eight weeks or however long it is. I’ll attend gmay faithfully so everyone in the district can glare at me.”

“That’s not how it is.”

“I want the full weight of it, Tyler. Once you’ve all shunned me for an acceptable period of time, I’ll do a kneeling confession and leave Wisconsin. The whole community will be overjoyed to see me go.”

“That’s not true. We believe in your gute heart. That’s why we helped you clean the pond.”

Aden lowered his gaze. “I’m sorry I’ve disappointed everybody. I really am. The last thing I wanted, ever, was for Lily to get hurt.”

“Me too. But the next to last thing I want is for you to believe you don’t belong here, or that you don’t have a home with us.” Tyler peered at Aden, looking for a reaction. “There’s a piece of land for sale not far from the dairy. Forty-five acres. You could buy it and start that organic farm you’ve always wanted, Lord willing.”

Aden shook his head.

“I’d sell you all the manure you want.”

Aden kept shaking his head. Even if it were the best plot of land in Bonduel, he couldn’t settle down here. He wasn’t strong enough to be reminded of his loss every time he and Lily crossed paths.

Tyler’s offer only served to make him feel worse, another painful reminder of how deserving Tyler was and how unworthy Aden remained.

Pilot finally made an appearance. He bounded out of the thicket, romped to Aden’s side, and planted his paws on Aden’s chest. Aden ruffled Pilot’s ears and nudged him back to the ground. He took a step in the direction of the trail, signaling the end of the conversation. “So when do you think they’ll actually do it?”

“The bann? Tomorrow, like as not.”

“Then you have less than twenty-four hours to be my friend.”

“I will always be your friend.”

Aden shrugged off Tyler’s declaration. “Come have supper. I’m sure Mammi won’t mind.”

He and Tyler couldn’t be friends ever again. Tyler planned to marry Aden’s girl. It kind of put a damper on things.

 

 

It was a good possibility that Estee’s displeasure had something to do with the announcement of Aden’s shunning at church today.

Estee didn’t utter a word all the way home. She ignored Lily’s pointed questions as if she were deaf and turned her face away from Lily as if she were invisible. Tension between them crackled, making the buggy seem small and cramped. Lily rejoiced when Dat finally pulled into the driveway.

The four of them trudged into the house, and Estee wasted no time in marching up the stairs and slamming the bedroom door behind her.

But why was Estee so upset? Lily was the one who’d been arrested. Lily was the one who’d been humiliated and embarrassed by Aden Helmuth’s recklessness. She had forced herself to go to gmay today even though it meant being in Aden’s presence while he stared pitifully at her from across the room. Did Estee have no sympathy for what Lily had gone through?

She followed her sister up the stairs, if only to be certain that Estee bore her no ill will. Of course Estee liked Aden, but her first duty should be toward her own flesh and blood.

Lily tiptoed into her room, in case any extra noise would further provoke Estee. Estee stood at the window, looking out at the cows in the pasture. She didn’t even turn her head when Lily entered.

“You are extra quiet today,” Lily said, sitting on her bed and smoothing the quilt with a casual brush of her hand.

Estee pursed her lips and stared faithfully out the window.

“Floyd had a new hat,” Lily persisted. “What happened to his old one?”

Estee remained steadfast, like a scholar with her attention riveted to the teacher.

Lily swallowed hard. She had suffered enough. Couldn’t Estee show her a little kindness? “I truly enjoyed the sermon today,” she said, unable to think of anything else to draw Estee out and ready to give up trying.

Estee snapped her head around to glare at Lily. “I didn’t hear a word of it. The hypocrisy in the room shouted so loudly, I couldn’t hear the preacher.”

“What hypocrisy?”

“You’re oozing with it, Lily.”

Lily’s mouth dropped open. “You don’t think I should have been shunned, do you? It’s not my fault I got arrested. Aden lured me in.”

“How very convenient to lay all the blame at Aden’s feet so Dat wouldn’t be cross with you.”

“That’s not true.”

“Did you make it clear to Dat that you demanded that Aden take you with him that night? Aden has been so kind to us, but he got Dat’s wrath because you were too chicken to own up to it. It’s pathetic, Lily.”

Lily fiercely blinked back the tears. “I didn’t know the police would come.”

“Yes,” said Estee, throwing up her hands. “You are innocent of all wrongdoing, and Aden is so wicked.”

“You weren’t there, Estee. You have no idea what it’s like to see your companions attacked, knowing you might be next. Or to escape from the house with nowhere to escape to. There is nothing more terrifying than being yanked into a pair of handcuffs and shoved into a police car.” She couldn’t keep her voice from shaking. “How dare you judge me?”

Softening her gaze, Estee sat next to Lily on the bed and slowly slid an arm around her shoulders. “It must have been horrible for both of you.”

“Don’t you care how I feel?”

Estee sighed. “I care. You’re my sister. I love you.”

“More than you love Aden?”

“Of course.”

“Then why do you defend him and attack me?”

“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, Lily. I always say what I think, and Aden doesn’t deserve to be shunned. If you had made everything clear to Dat, things wouldn’t have gone this far.”

“I did make everything clear to Dat. Besides, it was the elders’ decision to shun him, not Dat’s. They saw enough to justify the bann.”

Estee slumped her shoulders. “I suppose they did.”

Lily’s voice cracked into a hundred pieces. “Don’t be cross with me, Estee. With everything that’s happened, I don’t think I can bear your contempt.”

Estee wrapped her arms all the way around Lily and patted her back as if she were calming a crying baby. “Don’t cry, Lily. What’s done is done. I’ll not trouble you again by mentioning it. You are still the kindest girl I know and my favorite sister.”

“I’m your only sister.”

“Dry your eyes, and we’ll play Scrabble. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Estee must have really felt remorseful for what she had said. She hated Scrabble. Dear Estee. She wouldn’t stay mad for long. She was too sensible to hold a grudge.