How to Be a Vampire (11 page)

“You!” He stabbed a bony finger at Andrew's chest. “You planned this! You thought you could defeat me! Ungrateful human!”

“No!” Andrew cried. “I—I didn't do anything!”

The vampire folded his arms over his chest.

“I have lived six centuries!” he cried, his eyes flashing red anger. “You think you can fool me this easily?”

“Me?” Andrew tried to sound innocent. His mind spun. He tried to think of what he should do. “I'm not trying to fool you!”

The vampire scowled and shook his head. “To think I was going to give
you
the Dark Gift!”

“You mean . . . you're not going to?” Andrew asked.

“That's exactly what I mean, kid,” the vampire said.

Andrew let out a long sigh of relief.

“You're not getting the Dark Gift now,” the vampire said. “You're getting death.” He smiled. “I'm going to kill you.”

“K
ill me?” Andrew cried. “No!”

“Yes,” the vampire said. “All of you.”

Andrew heard a noise behind him. He turned.

Emily was making a break for the door!

Go, Em!
Andrew thought.
Get away! Bring back help!

But the vampire was too fast for her. He pounced for the door. He reached out. His hand caught Emily's necklace.

Emily made a choking sound.

The vampire pulled on her necklace. He brought her slowly back into the room. He smiled. His fangs gleamed sharp and white. He glanced from Emily to T.J. and back to Andrew.

“Three juicy humans,” he said. “Looks like it's my night for a three-course dinner.”

“Kill me,” Andrew volunteered. “But let them go.”

“Not a chance.” The vampire rubbed his withered hands together. Then he reached out and grabbed Emily's necklace again. “I think,” he said, “I'll begin with
you,
sweetie.”

He tugged on Emily's pearls.

Emily shut her eyes as the vampire pulled her nearer.

Andrew wished he could do something. But what? He was only a vampire-in-training. He was powerless against a real vampire.

The vampire pulled Emily close.

Andrew saw Emily wrinkle her nose as she breathed in the vampire's foul stench.

“Gross!” Emily cried. She pulled suddenly away.

Andrew heard a small
pop
as Emily's necklace snapped. Dozens of pearls clattered to the floor.

The vampire froze. He stood staring at the floor—at the string that had held the pearls in his hand.

Andrew glanced down. Pearls were everywhere! Rolling under chairs. Under the sofa. How many of them? Two, four, six . . . So many beautiful pearls!

Emily grabbed Andrew's arm. “It's true!” she whispered. “Look! He can't resist counting little things!”

“Huh?” Andrew blinked up at Emily. He saw the vampire counting her pearls. He, too, stared back down at them. Where was he? Ten, twelve, fourteen . . .

“Forget the pearls!” Emily tugged on Andrew's shirt. “Come on!”

Emily dragged her brother over to T.J. The sight of his friend staring straight ahead brought it all back to Andrew.

“Help me pick him up, Andrew,” Emily insisted. “We have to get out of here!”

Andrew and Emily each grabbed one of T.J.'s arms. Together they dragged him out of the living room and into the hall.

They stopped at the front door.

“We can't drag him all the way home,” Andrew pointed out.

Emily nodded. “We have to get him out of his trance.”

“T.J.!” Andrew shook him gently.

“Wake up!” Emily snapped her fingers in front of his face.

T.J.'s eyes still gazed at nothing.

“T.J.!” Andrew shook him harder. “Come on! Wake up!”

T.J.'s body stayed limp.

Emily drew back a hand and smacked T.J.'s face.

“Ow!” T.J. cried. He put a hand to his cheek. “That hurt!”

“Sorry,” Emily whispered. “Hurry, Andrew. Open the door!”

Andrew turned the knob. He pulled on it. It didn't budge.

Emily tried to open it too. She jiggled the locks and twisted the knob with no luck.

“The vampire must have locked it,” Andrew said.

T.J. fiddled with the locks and bolts. Nothing worked.

“Come on!” Emily said. “We'll go out the back door.”

“Wait!” Andrew cried. “We'll have to go by the vampire. What if he's finished counting?”

“We'll have to take our chances,” Emily said. “It's the only way out.”

The three ran toward the other end of the mansion.

Andrew zoomed straight for the kitchen door. He turned the knob. Nothing happened. The back door was stuck. Andrew tried to fling open one of the kitchen windows. No use. It was nailed shut.

“He'll be finished counting any minute!” Andrew wailed.

“Listen!” Emily's eyes grew wide. “I hear footsteps!”

Andrew heard them too. His sister was right. The vampire was coming!

Andrew's eyes darted around the room, searching for a way out. The windows were shut tight. The door was stuck. The only other door led to the hallway.

But that's where they heard footsteps!

That's where the vampire was about to appear!

“He's got us!” Andrew cried. “We're trapped!”

T
he footsteps sounded louder. They came closer. Closer to the kitchen. The old floorboards creaked and groaned.

Andrew, Emily, and T.J. huddled together. They pressed against the far kitchen wall.

“What time is it?” Andrew whispered.

“Funny you should ask, kid!” the vampire's voice boomed as he stepped into the room. “It's time for you to die!”

Andrew squeezed his eyes shut. No way was he going to let the vampire hypnotize him. Emily and T.J. pressed closer to him. He felt them trembling.

Then Andrew felt them stop trembling. Their bodies relaxed. Andrew opened his eyes. He glanced
at T.J. He stared straight ahead. Oh, no! The vampire had put him into another trance!

Andrew turned to Emily. She stared straight ahead. Just like T.J. The vampire had hypnotized both of them!

T.J. slumped to the floor. Emily dropped beside him.

Now it was only Andrew—and the vampire.

The vampire smiled, showing his long, white teeth. “Eenie, meenie, miney!” he counted, ending with Andrew. “You die first!”

Without thinking, Andrew put up his hands to cover his neck.

“No, no, no.” The vampire stepped toward Andrew. “I've decided not to bite you.” He gripped Andrew's shirt with his fist. “I won't take a chance on giving you the Dark Gift. You're not going to be undead, kid! You're going to be dead dead!”

Andrew tried to back away.

“I made a mistake choosing you,” the vampire growled. “A bad mistake. But then, it's the first mistake I've made in six hundred years. That's not too bad. Still, it was a mistake.”

Andrew nodded. He agreed. A big mistake. There was no way he could run now. No escape. The vampire was too fast. Too strong.

I'm history,
Andrew thought.

Right then he wished he'd been a better vampire-in-training. Even biting bunny necks seemed better
than being dead forever. But Andrew really wanted to be what he was right this minute.
Alive!
Andrew had to do something to keep it this way. He had to try!

Andrew jerked suddenly to the right. He took the vampire by surprise. The fiend lost his grip. Andrew didn't waste a second. He leapt over T.J. and sprinted across the room.

“You know what,
sir?”
he shouted. “It's too late!”

The vampire snarled horribly. His eyes shot hot red sparks.

“Too late for what, kid?” he asked.

“Too late to take back the Dark Gift,” Andrew cried. “I've already got it! You're too late to stop it!”

Andrew kept his eyes away from the vampire's. He drew his lips back from his teeth. His fangs slid down. He bared them and snarled at the vampire. “And one more thing!” he shouted. “Humphrey is a stupid name for a vampire!”

With a growl, Humphrey the vampire lunged across the room.

Andrew darted away.

He glanced toward the little window in the kitchen door—and another plan sprang to his mind. Only before he could dodge away, the vampire was on him.

He shoved Andrew against the kitchen door.

Andrew's nostrils filled with the foul reek of the undead.

He felt the vampire's hands close around his neck.

Cold fingers gripped Andrew's throat, choking him.

Andrew struggled for breath. He thought of his plan. It gave him strength. With all his might he pushed the vampire away.

The fiend staggered back. But he recovered quickly.

He dove for Andrew. Andrew leapt out of the way. He darted to the far side of the kitchen.

“Come and get me, Humphrey!” he cried.

With a terrible snarl, the vampire bared his fangs. He raised his hands and charged at Andrew.

Andrew arched his back, dodging away. He smelled the vampire's foul breath. Felt his bony fingers scrape against his neck. But he escaped.

Andrew leaned against the kitchen door. His heart pounded. He tried to stay calm as he reached behind his back. Slowly he turned the doorknob.

“You'll never get me!” Andrew shouted. “Never!”

The vampire let out a growl as he bent his knees. Then he sprang off the floor. He flew across the room at Andrew.

Andrew pulled as hard as he could at the doorknob. The kitchen door flew wide open. He jumped aside.

The vampire shot out the door.

Andrew slammed the door behind him. He knew he had to keep the vampire out! Andrew leaned all his weight against the door. He stared out its little window. If this didn't work, he was dead!

Count Ved whirled around. He lunged at the door, screaming.

A
ndrew drew back from the door.

But the vampire stopped short. For a moment, he froze in place. The fiend reached up and grasped his own white neck. He stared up at the sky and realized—he was standing in a patch of sunlight!

The vampire shuddered. A thin wisp of smoke rose from the top of his head. A terrible scream escaped from his throat. Then his whole body vanished in a cloud of smoke.

Gone!

Andrew smiled.
Sunlight.
Why hadn't he thought of that in the first place? It was much easier than staking the vampire. Much less messy too. And best of all—it worked.

Andrew opened the door and stepped outside. All that remained of the vampire was his cloak. It lay on the ground under a small pile of dust.

Andrew's mind tried to grasp what had happened.

He didn't die. And he wasn't going to!

It was the vampire who was dead. Dead and gone forever!

As Andrew caught his breath, he spotted something on top of the pile of dust. He bent down for a closer look—and saw what it was. Two gleaming white fangs.